The Twelve Days of Christmas- Yu-Gi-Oh Style!
Starring: the NARRATOR!
and some other people.
A/N: Yeah, I know this idea's been done and done and done and I also know that it's quite a bit after Christmas. Then again, this fic really doesn't have all that much to do with Christmas. In fact, it doesn't have all that much to do with anything. So read it and review.
Disclaimer: hmm..... Now if I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, do you think I'd be sitting here writing fanfics? There ya go.
italics= words to the song
blahblahblah= everything else.
OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! um..... I mean, ON WITH THE FIC!
When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh I saw with my own eyes
A fairly big delicious-looking pie.
*Joey runs up, looks around to make sure no one's watching, takes a big piece of pie, and runs off*
When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh I saw with my own eyes
Two Kaiba brothers,
*Seto and Mokuba appear - Seto looks kinda lost, but Mokuba sees the pie, sits down, and eats some*
And a somewhat smaller, still delicious pie.
*Mokuba nods in agreement*
When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh I saw with my own eyes
Three fearful Yamis,
Yami Yugi (hereafter referred to as Yami), Yami Bakura (hereafter referred to as Bakura), and Yami Malik (hereafter referred to as Yami Malik): Why are we fearful?
Narrator: You'll find out in a minute..... ooh, pie! *eats some*
Two Kaiba brothers,
And now I'm eating a piece of the pie.
When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh I saw with my own eyes
Four obsessive fangirls,
Yami, Bakura, and Yami Malik: This is why we should be afraid?
Narrator: *nods*
Yami, Bakura, and Yami Malik: *run for their lives, followed by 3 fangirls*
Narrator: So what happened to the fourth one-
*Seto runs by, screaming about "security"*
Narrator: *watches Seto run off into the distance* Ha. Security. Yeah right.
Three fearful Yamis,
*distant screaming*
Two Kaiba brothers,
And right now no one's eating the pie.
When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh I saw with my own eyes
Five from Duelist Kingdom!
*Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Tea, and Bakura (hereafter referred to as Ryou) appear. The four guys immediately form a circle around Tea to protect her from Tea-bashers like the narrator*
Narrator: *drops five golden rings on Tea's head for the heck of it*
Four obsessive fangirls,
*squeal of delight*
Narrator: Uh oh..... I think she got one.....
Three fearful Yamis,
Two Kaiba brothers,
And Joey's looking like he wants more pie.
Joey: *drools*
When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh I saw with my own eyes,
Six that Yugi dueled
*Duke (hereafter referred to as Otogi because that's just so much cooler), Weevil, Pegasus, Mako, Mai, and Panik fall from the sky. Weevil and Panik go off to skulk in a corner. The fangirls, who by now have tied up Kaiba and Yami, go after Otogi and Mako. Pegasus goes for the pie, and Mai is recruited to help the narrator narrate*
Five from Duelist Kingdom!
Tea: Hey guys, let's all wear these rings that fell from the sky as a symbol of our friendship! Friendship is- *launches into friendship speech*
Narrator: *smacks forehead*
Four obsessive fangirls,
Narrator: Uh oh, that one's gaining on Otogi.....
Three fearful Yamis,
Bakura and Yami Malik: *running*
Yami: *tied up* SAVE ME!!!!
Two Kaiba brothers,
Mokuba: This song is boring.
And Pegasus, get your hands off the pie!
When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh I saw with my own eyes
Seven random cards,
Mai: So how do you plan to do this one?
Narrator: Shuffle my deck and pull out seven random monster cards.
Mai: Whatever works.
*Gyakutenno Megami, Guardian of the Throne Room, Ryu-Ran, Slot Machine, Trap Master, Hibikime, and Dark Witch appear*
Mai: Isn't it a little odd that 3 of the 7 cards were female?
Narrator: *shrugs*
Six that Yugi dueled,
Pegasus: Ooh! A Ryu-Ran! *pets the Ryu-Ran*
Joey: And that card Keith cheated me with!
Narrator: *waves "7 completed" in his face* Stop whining. You won.
Tea: JOEY!!! You must listen to my freakishly-long friendship rant! AND I'M NOT FINISHED!!!
Joey: Sorry, Tea. *turns back to freakishly long friendship rant*
Everyone but the Duelist Kingdom 5 (hereafter referred to as EBtDK5) : *laughing*
Five from Duelist Kingdom!
Tea: *glares* STOP LAUGHING! *goes back to freakishly long friendship rant*
EBtDK5: *blinks*
Four obsessive fangirls,
Mai: hmm..... Otogi's gonna have to run faster than that.....
Three fearful Yamis,
Yami: Why is it fangirls always carry enough rope to tie us to random objects like walls and poles and stuff?
Seto: *shrugs*
Two Kaiba brothers,
Mokuba: hmm..... wonder where Seto went.....
And will someone get the Trap Master out of the pie?
When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh I saw with my own eyes
Eight more obsessive fangirls,
Narrator: This is gonna be fun.....
*Fangirls stand dazed for a moment, shocked to see their fave chars and feeling like they've found heaven*
Seven random cards,
Trap Master: PIE!
Six that Yugi dueled,
*One fangirl grins and turns on Pegasus, the other turns on Weevil*
Panik: What about me? *pouts*
Five from Duelist Kingdom!
*Joey, Yugi, Tristan, and Ryou run for their lives, followed by four of the fangirls*
Tea: Remember guys, our friendship will keep us safe! *suddenly realizes they're all gone and she's facing two fangirls and a Tea-bashing narrator* Guys? GUYS!
Four obsessive fangirls,
*male voice screaming*
*happy giggle*
Mai: Well, there went Otogi.
Three fearful Yamis,
Yami: Hello, Otogi. Welcome to the wall of people who get caught by obsessive fangirls.
Otogi: AHH! HELP ME!
Seto: You get used to it.
Two Kaiba brothers,
Mokuba: Seto? *looks around, sees the Slot Machine* I'm gonna win some money.....
That Trap Master needs to let go of the pie.
Guardian of the Throne Room: *explodes*
Narrator: Okay, that didn't really help.
When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh I saw with my own eyes
Nine killer dragons,
*Blue Eyes White Dragon (hereafter referred to as BEWD), Red Eyes Black Dragon (hereafter referred to as REBD), Hyozanryu, Curse of Dragon, Harpy's Pet Dragon, Baby Dragon, 1000 Dragon, Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon (hereafter referred to as BEUD) and Koumori Dragon appear*
Mai: *rolls eyes* Baby Dragon is not "killer."
Narrator: *shrugs*
Baby Dragon: Rawr.
Eight more obsessive fangirls,
Tea: NOOOOO! SAVE ME!!!
Seven random cards,
Narrator: Trap Master? Pie? SOMEBODY!!!
*Harpy's Pet Dragon eats the Trap Master*
Mai: Good dragon..... *walks over and pets it*
Six that Yugi dueled,
Pegasus: No! Not a fangirl..... wait, Cecelia? Is it really you?
Cecelia: Yes, Maximillion, it's me. I've come back from the- OMG! What the heck happened to your eye?
Pegasus: But..... my love, it was all for you.....
Cecelia: It's HIDEOUS! You mean I had to disguise myself as a fangirl and write countless "I love Maximillion Pegasus" essays and hire an assassin to kill all the other competitors..... *pause* You didn't hear that. *disappears*
Pegasus: Cecelia? CECELIA! *sobs* I've lost you again, and all because of this stupid eye..... *tries to rip out the Millennium Eye* Okay, ow..... *jumps on Ryu-Ran and flies away to seek medical attention*
Everyone else: O.o.....
Five from Duelist Kingdom!
Tea: Oh..... this is bad. I need my friends..... *uses super-evil-Tea-powers to send a brain-wave message to her friends*
Tea's friends: OW! MY HEAD! *stop, come to sudden realizations* AGH! FANGIRLS* *resume running*
Tea: Why isn't it working.....
Four obsessive fangirls,
Bakura: Um, actually only three now.
Narrator: What did you do..... You didn't kill her, did you?
Bakura: Of course not. I just gave her my hikari and sent her home.
Narrator: *sweat-drop* Poor Ryou.....
Three fearful Yamis,
Bakura: Two.
Narrator: Oh shut up.
Two Kaiba brothers,
Mokuba: *playing the slots* Wow! I think I'm richer than Seto now!
And a very lonely almost eaten pie.
When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh I saw with my own eyes
Ten battles we would love to see even though they didn't really happen except for one,
Mai: How did you fit all that into one verse?
Narrator: Super narrator powers.
Mai: Ah. And who is we?
Narrator: Um..... stop being so technical.
Grandpa vs. Kaiba (Oh, how I wish they'd showed that),
Mokuba vs. Seto,
Seto: Yeah right.
Mokuba: He's too scared I'd beat him.
Seto: *nodding* *stops* Hey, wait a minute.....
Yami vs. Tea,
Mai: Ooh, now that would be fun.....
Narrator: *imitating Tea* I play some really crappy card with the word "friend" associated with it in some way!
Mai: *imitating Yami* Um, okay, I attack with the Dark Magician. I think I just took all your life points.
Narrator: *imitating Tea* *lip trembling* I HATE YOU!
Tristan vs. someone,
Tristan: Hey!
Yami vs. Yugi!
Everybody: Wow, that's twisted.
Yami: *munches nonchalantly on pie* Doesn't really matter. *shrugs* I'd kick his butt anyway.
Yugi: Considering you're tied up there and I'm still down here, I don't think you're in much of a position to be talking like that.....
Yami: Hey, at least the fangirls left me alone after tying me up. And how did I get this pie?
Pegasus vs. Joey,
Narrator: If he were here, Pegasus would comment.
Ryou vs. Tristan vs. Tea
Mai: How?
Narrator: *shrugs* But it could be the Cheerleader Deathmatch..... people would pay for tickets.....
Mai: To watch those three duel? Does Tristan even know how to duel?
Seto: You're selling tickets for the cheerleader duel? I'll buy one.
Narrator: Why?
Seto: I never miss a chance to humiliate Yugi or his friends!
Narrator: Figures.
Bakura: It would be boring. My hikari would kill them. Living with me has warped his brain.
Everyone: O.o
Dark Magician vs. BEWD,
Yami: The Dark Magician would win.
Seto: *nods*
Narrator: Seto? You agree?
Seto: The Dark Magician has the advantage: opposable thumbs.
Narrator: *smacks forehead*
And Kemo vs. Croquet,
Narrator: Again, I'm quite positive Pegasus would say something if he was here.
Mai: That was only nine.
Narrator: Really? Then:
The Narrator vs. anybody!
Narrator: What fun!
When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh I saw with my own eyes
Eleven more random cards,
Narrator: But this time- magic and trap cards!
Mai: Right. And so we present.....
Narrator: .....this short duel! No one was harmed in the making of-
Mai: *raises eyebrow*
Narrator: Well, me and Mai weren't harmed. Enjoy! *sits back, grabs popcorn*
Mai: She forgot to mention that this duel will only be played with magic and trap cards. It's odd. And not really like Duel Monsters at all. *shrugs* Hey, can I have some of that popcorn.....
THE DUEL! FANGIRLS VS. EVERYBODY EXCEPT THE NARRATOR AND MAI AND MOKUBA AND PANIK BECAUSE THE 3 OF US GET TO WATCH. AND PANIK'S JUST *THERE*. FANGIRLS GO FIRST.....
Head fangirl (hereafter referred to as HF): *activates "Robbin' Goblin"*
-A goblin materializes and starts running across the field to kidnap one of the guys and bring him back to the other side.-
Yugi: Not so fast, goblin! I activate "Magical Labyrinth," which technically should let me summon the Wall Shadow, but the author/narrator/obsessive fangirl has screwed up the beautiful name of Duel Monsters..... *sobs*
Joey: Yuge? Please don't do that anymore, okay?
Yugi: Huh? Oh, sorry.
-So a magical labyrinth pops out of the ground and the goblin smacks into a wall and falls to the ground unconscious.-
Joey: Hey, who's doing that?
-Doing what?-
Joey: That!
-I'm just an ambient voice. Don't mind me.-
Joey: That's creepy.
-I know. Fangirls' turn.-
HF: Yeah, well I activate "The Eye of Truth." But it doesn't exactly work in this duel. At all.
Yugi: *sweatdrop* Then why-
HF: Just play your next card.
Yugi: Um, okay. I'll end this duel now! *plays "Trap Hole" and "Soul Release."
-Soul Release kills five of the fangirls and all the rest except HF fall into the trap hole.-
Joey: You couldn't have killed HF? Whose side are you on?
-Riku's. (don't own KH, don't own KH)-
Joey: You're hopeless.
-Don't make me wake up that Robbin' Goblin.-
Joey: *sigh*
-Just let HF go.-
HF: No problem. I activate "Reinforcements".....
-More fangirls show up, including the one that has Ryou-
HF:..... and now we have a hostage!
Ryou: AHH!!! *breaks free from fangirls' grasp, runs for his life*
HF: *activates "Light of Intervention" and uses it as a spotlight to find Ryou, then activates "Chain Energy" and ties him to the wall beside the eye.
Ryou: *tied up* *sighs, sees eye* Why, hello there!
Eye of Truth: *blinks*
Yugi: hmm..... my last card is Yami.
Yami: *appears down on the field* Hey, I'm not tied up anymore! But I don't think that's how that card was supposed to work.....
Yugi: *shrugs* Just go rescue Ryou.
Yami: I can't.
Yugi: Why not?
Yami: That eye is creepy.
Yugi: *sweatdrop*
HF: And for *my* final move, I activate "Burning Land"!
-Flames shoot out of the ground, making both sides wish that card had not been played.....-
Narrator: Should I intervene?
Mai: I dunno..... hmm..... Joey's so cute when he's dancing around like that.....
Narrator: He's dancing like that because there are flames all around him..... ooh, look, Tea's skirt just caught fire!
Mai: Now this I gotta see.....
Mokuba: Hey look, a magic card! *activates Rain of Mercy*
-Rain pours down over the field and puts out the fire.-
Narrator: *glares at Mokuba* I can't believe he did that....
Mai: Oh well, he's just not one of the chosen few.
Mokuba: Chosen few what?
Mai: Pyromaniacs, of course! *pulls out blowtorch*
Mokuba: Shiny.....
Ten battles etc.
Mai: Nice abbreviation! *to Mokuba* See, if you click this..... *cue blowtorch*
Mokuba: ooh.....
Nine killer dragons,
-All dragons walk over to observe the blowtorch, then engage themselves in a competition to see who can produce the greatest flame.-
Mai and Mokuba: YAY!
Eight more obsessive fangirls,
Fangirls: *resume chasing*
Seven random cards,
Six that Yugi dueled,
Mai: Weevil hasn't done anything in a while.....
Narrator: Fine. Go.
Mai: WOO HOO! *grabs some random pyroweaponry and runs off to torch Weevil*
Five from Duelist Kingdom!
Tea: *tied up and covered in feathers* Hi guys.
Seto: *laughs* So, what did they do to you?
Tea: Well, first came the superglue.....
Four obsessive fangirls,
Three fearful Yamis,
Yami Malik: Where was I in this fic?
Narrator: *shrugs* Dunno. Have some pie.
Two Kaiba brothers,
Seto: *laughing* So then they spun you around in circles and chased you with the lawnmower?
Tea: *grumbling* It's not that funny.....
Yami Malik's now finishing off the pie.
When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh I saw with my own eyes
Twelve million dollars,
Narrator: Wow, Seto's giving away all that money?
Mokuba: No, I am. I won it on the Slot Machine. Besides, Seto's not really into the spirit of giving with Christmas or anything.
Seto: Bah humbug.
Eleven more random cards,
Mai: *reaches for "Burning Land"*
Narrator: Mai, SNAP OUT OF IT!
Mai: heh, sorry.
Ten duels etc.
Nine killer dragons,
Mokuba: Hey, how is there a BEUD and a BEWD when there are only 3 BEWD cards in the world?
BEWD: I belong to the narrator.
Seto: WHAT? You mean ripping up that old guy's card and having to duel Yugi was all for NOTHING? I'm so confused..... *sobs*
Eight more obsessive fangirls,
Fangirls: *throw eggs at Tea*
Seto: *laughs*
Narrator: Wow, he changed moods quickly.
Seven random cards,
Dark Magician: So, you ladies doing anything Saturday night?
Hibikime, Gyakutenno Megami, and Dark Witch: *giggle*
Narrator: Now how did he get in?
Six that Yugi dueled,
Mai: *torching everything in sight*
Narrator: Now *this* is something you don't see every day.
Five from Duelist Kingdom!
Narrator: Here guys, say this so you can have a line in this fic. There's no more pie to give. *hands them a piece of paper*
Tristan and Mako: *reading off the paper* We have fallen madly in love with the narrator/author/obsessive fangirl and wish to become her mindless servants.
Narrator: Good job, boys. Now go make me a sandwich.
Four obsessive fangirls,
Three fearful Yamis,
Yami Malik: mmm..... This pie is good.
Two Kaiba brothers,
And now there is no more PIE!
-Seto, Tea, and Otogi are untied and everyone leaves. So they think.-
Ryou: HEY! Don't leave me tied up here!
Eye of Truth: *blinks*
Ryou: HELP! IT'S CREEPY!
~fin~
A/N: So, what did you think? Flames are welcome, but be warned, I got another "Burning Land" card the other day. ^^ Review please!