(FF.NET, DON'T MESS IT UP, PLEASE!!!)
Karalen: (pops up) Sorry I didn't update, everyone! But I have a good excuse! One thing, Christmas, next, Semester Exams.
Inashu: Nah, you're just lazy.
Karalen: Shut up. Here are the parts..
Yugi- Frodo Joey- Sam Tristan- Merry Mokuba- Pippin Ryou- Legolas Bakura- Gimli Grandpa- Gandalf Yami- Aragorn Kaiba- Sarumon Pegasus- Sauron Mai- Galadrial Marik- Bilbo (he'll change characters later) Tea- Gollum
And someone PLEASE help me with Glorfindel! I don't know who to cast as him! HELP MEEEEE!!!!
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(Outside on a park bench. Countdown to Marik's b-day: 2 hours, 45 minutes and 16 seconds. Marik and Grandpa are smoking weed and making smoke circles. Don't smoke kids! It's bad for you!)
Marik: "Deadly Weed". The finest weed in all the world! (makes a smoke ring.)
Grandpa: You call that a ring?! (sucks in some smoke, lets it out, and he forms a wonderfully detailed Dark Magician in the smoke, and lets it fly through Marik's ring. Marik glares at Grandpa, but then faces where the party will be.)
Marik: Grandpa. This will be a night to remember!
(A firework explodes where Marik's face was, making you think he exploded, but it didn't. 2 hours, 45 minutes and 16 seconds had passed, and the party is on! Yugi is doing the chicken dance with other hobbits, Grandpa is letting off fireworks, and Marik's telling stories to the kids.)
Marik: So there I was. Tied up and watching the huge guards argue. They were wondering if they should fry me, cook me, or bake me. But, then the sun lit up all the shadows of the pyramid, and it hit the legend of the turning to stone curse on the wall, and 'POOF!'
Kids: (gasp)
Marik: They were all turned to stone!
Grandpa: (sets loose a whole bunch of fireworks. The kids go chasing them, a few catching on fire on the way.)
(Joey sits on the table, glancing at Melody ((my friend)), who is dancing merrily. Yugi comes up to his table and sits down)
Yugi: C'mon on Joey, ask Melody for a dance!
Joey: (glances at Melody again.) O.O;;; Um.(blushes) I think I'll just go have another beer. (starts to get up.)
Yugi: (hops up) Oh no you don't! Go on! (pushes Joey right into Melody, sending her flying backwards. Joey offers her a hand, and she smiles as he helps her up. Then she swirls him around dancing, while he blushes madly)
Grandpa: (gets a ton of fireworks from the back of a cart) Heh heh.pyromania.fire.fire.heh heh heh.(twitch. He heads off into the crowd, ready to light more kids on fire. Tristan pops up behind the tent, then hits the tent. Mokuba comes out of the tent then. He grabs Mokuba, and throws him in the cart.)
Mokuba: Ow, my head! X_X! (looks through the fireworks. He holds up a really small one.)
Tristan: No, no, the big one!
Mokuba: (holds up a slightly bigger one) Like this?
Tristan: No! Let me show you! (gets in the cart)
Inashu (my muse): (walks by. Sees two pairs of legs sticking out from behind the fireworks) Ooooh, hentai! Must.see.more.(tries to get in cart, but ends up pushing it slightly. It rolls down the hill, throwing her off) X___X! (her flame-thrower stays on the cart)
Tristan: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIEEEE!!! FIRST I'M GONNA THROW UP, THEN I'M GONNA DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!! (the cart rolls to a stop)
Tristan: .well.that wasn't so bad.almost lost my cool there. (1)
Mokuba: (picks up flame-thrower) What's this? (pushes the 'ignite' button)
Tristan: O_O Don't touch tha-
(all of Domino City hears a BOOOOOM!!!. Fire works go off everywhere, including a Red Eyes Black Dragon look alike. If flies toward the people, and they dive in fear, too stupid to think that it's just a fire work)
Yugi: Marik.(runs towards Marik) Marik! Look out for the dragon!
Marik: Dragon?! Don't be stupid Yugi! There hasn't been a dragon ever since.(stops to think. The dragon heads straight for him)
Yugi: (switches to slow motion) NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!! (tackles Marik to the ground. Marik's face slooowly goes first from thinking, to shock, to anger. He's about to hit Yugi, when he looks up at the dragon.)
Marik: O.O
(Everyone dives to the ground. Everything switches to normal motion, and the dragon explodes. The fire works can be heard all the way in Mirkwood.)
In Mirkwood:
Ryou: (leans head out of the window) Shut the hell up you stupid hobbits!!! (goes back to washing his hair with Herbal Essences(2))
Back in Hobbiton:
(Everyone is merry again. Tristan and Mokuba arrive later, all charred.)
Tristan: That.was good.
Mokuba: Let's get another one!
(Grandpa suddenly appears behind them, and grabs a hold of their ears.)
Grandpa: Tristan Brandybuck and Mokuba Took. I should've known. (He makes them do his dishes. Then Marik heads up to the podium.)
Various hobbits: Speech! Speech! Speech!
Yugi: Speech!
Marik: All right, just &%^#%#@ shut up!!!
Everyone: ......
Marik: Right. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Grubbs, Chubbs, Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles, and Proudfoots...
Mr. Proudfoot: ProudFEET! (holds up his feet. All hobbits near him fall over, writhing in agony from the smell)
Marik: Anyway, today is my 111 birthday!
Everyone: YAAAAAY!!!
Marik: (glares at the audience)
Everyone: .......
Marik: That's better. Anyway.(holds up an arm to his forehead dramatically) Alas eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. (puts his arm down and glares at some of the people) I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
Everyone: ......Whaaaaaaaaaa???
Marik: (a little nervous) I..uh..I have some things to do..(puts his hand in his pocket, and strokes something. His eyes widen) O_O I've been putting this off faaaaaaaaaaaa-
(three hours later)
Marik: aaaaaaaar too long..I regret to announce, this is the end. I'm going now - I bid you all a very fond farewell. (looks at Yugi, and starts to tear up a bit.)
Yugi: .....
Marik: Good-bye. (He says this quietly, to Yugi. He slips the card between his pointer and middle finger, and vanishes.)
Everyone: (GASP) What a great magic trick! You can come out now Marik! ..Marik?
Yugi: O_______O
Grandpa: (sleeping through yet another emotional scene) Zzzzzzzzz..(wakes up) Oh.um.(glares at the spot Marik was at)
(Meanwhile, a little distance away from the party, invisible Marik runs through his garden. He opens his door, then slams it. He laughs as he turns normal. Then he throws the card in the air, and attempts to catch it.)
Marik: OW!!! PAPER CUT!!! $#@%*@#(@#$!!!
(He goes over and gets his almighty walking stick of doom #2 and starts to walk to his kitchen to get his spiked food.)
(A few minutes later...)
Grandpa: (uses his almighty walking stick of doom to appear behind Marik, who is at the beer fridge) I suppose you think that was terribly clever.
Marik: (has a red face, then turns around) Oh.c'mon grandpa! Didja see tha look on their faces?
Grandpa: I'm not talking about that! (points to a lump on his head)
Marik: oooh...that had to hurt..what happen to ya...?
(Flashback to a few minutes ago.Grandpa is following the invisible Marik. Marik opens the door, then slams it. It his Grandpa right in the forehead, and he is knocked unconcious.)
Marik: Oh...sowwy..
Grandpa: You're drunk, aren't you?
Marik: Yeah. Whuzzit to ya?
Grandpa: (remembers why he came here) There are many magic cards in the world Marik, and NONE of them should be used lightly.
Marik: It wash jus a bit o' fun! Oh ya're prolly right, as usu.usual..You will keep an eye on Yugi, won't ya?
Grandpa: Two eyes, as often as I can spare them.
Marik: I'm weevin everything ta him. (stumbles around the house, looking for things to take with him. He runs into things in the process.)
Grandpa: What about this card of yours, is that staying too?
Marik: Yesh, yesh, it's in an envelope over thar on the mantley piece
(Grandpa goes to look. Marik's drunkness seems to wear off)
Marik: No, wait... it's here in my pocket (takes out card, and admires it)...Isn't that, isn't that odd...After all, why not, why shouldn't I keep it...
Grandpa: I think you should leave the card behind, Marik. Is that so hard?
Marik: Well, no... and yes.
Grandpa: What?! How can it be hard to leave a card behind?! All you gotta do is leave it on a table, leave, and it's done!
Marik: Whatever..Now it comes to it, I don't feel like parting with it. It's mine, I found it, it came to me!
Grandpa: (hurt look in his eyes) (sniff sniff) There's no need to get angry..
Marik: Well, if I'm angry, it's your fault! (strokes the card) It's mine, my own, my precioussssss.
Grandpa: Precious? It's been called that before, but not by you....
Marik: (suddenly mad at Grandpa) Argh! What business is it of yours what I do with my own things?!
Grandpa: I think you have had that card quite long enough...you're obsessing over it...(goes to phone, and nearly dials the mental institution.)
Marik: (panics) Not there again! (tries to think of something) You want it for yourself!
Grandpa: (slams phone down) Marik Baggins!!!
Marik: (staggers backwards against a wall. His drunkness is back)
Grandpa: Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks!!
(In Marik's eyes: A Wal-mart smily face with a huuuuge afro has replaced Grandpa's head, and he's wearing a disco outfit. At his blue suede shoes, are tiny dinosaurs dancing to 'Stayin Alive!' Little butterfiles are flying around his head, fluttering their wings to 'Butterfly' ((yep, two songs playing at once in Marik's head.)))
Grandpa: I am NOT trying to rob you! I'm only trying to help you..(tries to call the mental institution again.)
(In Marik's ears: Grandpa has just said, 'You're love life is such a bore. I'm going to call someone and see if he or she will come over.')
Marik: (whimpers and hugs Grandpa)
Grandpa: O______O (slowly pushes Marik away) ..um..all our long years, we've been friends. Nothing more, just FRIENDS. (thinks that the card is making Marik do this) Let it go..and let ME go.
Marik: (drunkness has now officially worn off. He lets go of Grandpa and strikes a triumphant pose) You're right Grandpa! The card must go to Yugi! (picks up his almighty walking stick of doom #2) I'll be off! I'm going to Rivendell for a bit! (opens the door, and starts to walk out)
Grandpa: Marik. The card is still in your pocket.
Marik: (stops) Oh..right. (he takes the card out. He looks really reluctant to give it up)
Grandpa: (sees this) Hey Marik! There's some really hot guys and girls in Rivendell! Plus, they really hate people who carry cards around!
Marik: (drops the card immediately. Then he heads out the door) you know what Grandpa? I thought of an ending for my plan to take over the world."Take over the world, and live happily ever after .to the end of my days."
Grandpa: And I'm sure you will my dear friend.
Marik: Good bye, Grandpa.
Grandpa: Good bye, dear Marik.
(Marik goes out of his gate, and walks down the road)
Marik (singing): The duel goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began...
Grandpa: Until our next meeting....and good riddance!!!
(Grandpa re-enters Bag End. He stoops to pick up the card, but stops short when the Eye of Sauron flashes in his mind. He rises and proceeds to sit himself by the fireplace to smoke some 'deadly weed')
Voice over of Marik: Its mine, my own, my preciousssssss!
Grandpa (mumbling): Riddles in the Dark.
(Yugi runs in through the big door, and falls flat on his face. He gets back up)
Yugi: MARIK! MAAAAARIIIIIIIIIK!!! (He sees the card and stoops to pick it up) Ooooooh, a holographic Blue Eyes White Dragon card! Shiny.....
Grandpa: (turns to Yugi) Be quiet Yugi! Can't you see I'm trying to concentrate! (turns back to fire) My precious.
(Yugi notices Grandpa smoking by the fireplace, approaches him)
Grandpa (mumbling): Precious...
Yugi: (grabs Grandpa's cigar and stamps it in the ground.) Don't you know that this will kill you, Grandpa?
Grandpa: Shut up.
Yugi: (looks around for Marik) He's gone hasn't he? He talked for so long about leaving. I didn't think he'd really do it....Grandpa?
Grandpa: Huh? What? (Eyes Yugi holding the card. Thinks to himself) 'Aw crap, he found the card! Oh well! That means I won't deal with the trouble!' (smiles at Yugi) Marik's card. He's gone to stay with the elves. He's left you Bag End, you lucky devil you!
Yugi: Huh?
(Grandpa holds envelope open, Yugi slips in the Card, Grandpa seals the envelope with wax and gives it to Yugi.)
Grandpa: ...along with all his possessions. The Card is yours now. Put it somewhere out of sight. (Gets up to leave)
Yugi: Where are you going?
Grandpa: There are some things that I must see to.
Yugi: What things?
Grandpa: Questions. Questions that need answering!
Yugi: Duh, there are no other questions!
Grandpa: Shut up.
Yugi: But..but..but..(eyes tear up) You've only just arrived. I don't understand...
Grandpa: (thinking to himself) 'Must.resist.the.eyes.ARGH! I can't! Must.comfort him.' (talking to Yugi) Neither do I. (puts a hand on Yugi's shoulder) Keep it secret, keep it safe. (Grandpa goes out the door)
Yugi: (looks down at the envelope in his hand) I wonder if I can make Joey duel with me and this baby?
(New Scene: Mount Doom, then the towers of the fortress of Barad-Dur, including the fiery moats and the lights of the orcs on the roads)
Tea: (we hear her, but we can't see her. She cries out) EEEEEEYAAAAAAAAH!!!! SHIRE!!!! BAGGINS!!!!
(New Scene: Mount Doom erupts)
(The Black Riders leave Minas Morgul, the opera choir chants an unknown language)
Grandpa: (Riding to the White City, he sees the volcano erupting) Aw crap, we're gonna die. Oh wait.it erupts all the time and yet we all remain alive somehow.silly me! (looks over to Mordor, and rides off) Giddy-up, horsie!
Grandpa's horse: -_-;;;
(In Minas Tirith, Grandpa follows a group tour around. He finds the library, and breaks away from the tour. He searches for Isildur's personal diary. He finally finds it after weeks of searching)
Grandpa reads:
Isildur's voice: The year 3434 of the Second Age, here follows the diary of Isildur, high king of Gondor, and the finding of the Card of Power. It has come to me, the one Card. It shall be an heirloom of my kingdom. All those who follow in my bloodline shall be bound to its fate, for I will risk no hurt to the card...It is.... preciousssssssss to me, though I buy it with great pain. The markings upon the back of the card begin to fade. The writing, which at first was as clear as red flame, has all but disappeared. A secret now that only fire can tell.
Grandpa: Man, everyone's obsessed with the stupid card! It's a madhouse I tell you! I hope I don't get obsessed over it either..(glances nervously around him.)
(New Scene: Evening, Farmer Keith's hobbit house. He is chopping wood, when one of his henchmen starts to bark. A Black Rider appears. The henchman whines and backs into the house)
Black Rider: (in a reaaaally creepy voice) Shhhhhire...? Baaaaggins...?
Farmer Keith: There ain't no Baggins here! They all up in Hobbiton. That there way (he points)
Black Rider: (rides off on his black wooden horse) Giddy-up, horsie!
Wooden Horse: -_-;;;
TO BE CONTINUED!!! Please R&R
Karalen: (pops up) Sorry I didn't update, everyone! But I have a good excuse! One thing, Christmas, next, Semester Exams.
Inashu: Nah, you're just lazy.
Karalen: Shut up. Here are the parts..
Yugi- Frodo Joey- Sam Tristan- Merry Mokuba- Pippin Ryou- Legolas Bakura- Gimli Grandpa- Gandalf Yami- Aragorn Kaiba- Sarumon Pegasus- Sauron Mai- Galadrial Marik- Bilbo (he'll change characters later) Tea- Gollum
And someone PLEASE help me with Glorfindel! I don't know who to cast as him! HELP MEEEEE!!!!
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(Outside on a park bench. Countdown to Marik's b-day: 2 hours, 45 minutes and 16 seconds. Marik and Grandpa are smoking weed and making smoke circles. Don't smoke kids! It's bad for you!)
Marik: "Deadly Weed". The finest weed in all the world! (makes a smoke ring.)
Grandpa: You call that a ring?! (sucks in some smoke, lets it out, and he forms a wonderfully detailed Dark Magician in the smoke, and lets it fly through Marik's ring. Marik glares at Grandpa, but then faces where the party will be.)
Marik: Grandpa. This will be a night to remember!
(A firework explodes where Marik's face was, making you think he exploded, but it didn't. 2 hours, 45 minutes and 16 seconds had passed, and the party is on! Yugi is doing the chicken dance with other hobbits, Grandpa is letting off fireworks, and Marik's telling stories to the kids.)
Marik: So there I was. Tied up and watching the huge guards argue. They were wondering if they should fry me, cook me, or bake me. But, then the sun lit up all the shadows of the pyramid, and it hit the legend of the turning to stone curse on the wall, and 'POOF!'
Kids: (gasp)
Marik: They were all turned to stone!
Grandpa: (sets loose a whole bunch of fireworks. The kids go chasing them, a few catching on fire on the way.)
(Joey sits on the table, glancing at Melody ((my friend)), who is dancing merrily. Yugi comes up to his table and sits down)
Yugi: C'mon on Joey, ask Melody for a dance!
Joey: (glances at Melody again.) O.O;;; Um.(blushes) I think I'll just go have another beer. (starts to get up.)
Yugi: (hops up) Oh no you don't! Go on! (pushes Joey right into Melody, sending her flying backwards. Joey offers her a hand, and she smiles as he helps her up. Then she swirls him around dancing, while he blushes madly)
Grandpa: (gets a ton of fireworks from the back of a cart) Heh heh.pyromania.fire.fire.heh heh heh.(twitch. He heads off into the crowd, ready to light more kids on fire. Tristan pops up behind the tent, then hits the tent. Mokuba comes out of the tent then. He grabs Mokuba, and throws him in the cart.)
Mokuba: Ow, my head! X_X! (looks through the fireworks. He holds up a really small one.)
Tristan: No, no, the big one!
Mokuba: (holds up a slightly bigger one) Like this?
Tristan: No! Let me show you! (gets in the cart)
Inashu (my muse): (walks by. Sees two pairs of legs sticking out from behind the fireworks) Ooooh, hentai! Must.see.more.(tries to get in cart, but ends up pushing it slightly. It rolls down the hill, throwing her off) X___X! (her flame-thrower stays on the cart)
Tristan: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIEEEE!!! FIRST I'M GONNA THROW UP, THEN I'M GONNA DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!! (the cart rolls to a stop)
Tristan: .well.that wasn't so bad.almost lost my cool there. (1)
Mokuba: (picks up flame-thrower) What's this? (pushes the 'ignite' button)
Tristan: O_O Don't touch tha-
(all of Domino City hears a BOOOOOM!!!. Fire works go off everywhere, including a Red Eyes Black Dragon look alike. If flies toward the people, and they dive in fear, too stupid to think that it's just a fire work)
Yugi: Marik.(runs towards Marik) Marik! Look out for the dragon!
Marik: Dragon?! Don't be stupid Yugi! There hasn't been a dragon ever since.(stops to think. The dragon heads straight for him)
Yugi: (switches to slow motion) NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!! (tackles Marik to the ground. Marik's face slooowly goes first from thinking, to shock, to anger. He's about to hit Yugi, when he looks up at the dragon.)
Marik: O.O
(Everyone dives to the ground. Everything switches to normal motion, and the dragon explodes. The fire works can be heard all the way in Mirkwood.)
In Mirkwood:
Ryou: (leans head out of the window) Shut the hell up you stupid hobbits!!! (goes back to washing his hair with Herbal Essences(2))
Back in Hobbiton:
(Everyone is merry again. Tristan and Mokuba arrive later, all charred.)
Tristan: That.was good.
Mokuba: Let's get another one!
(Grandpa suddenly appears behind them, and grabs a hold of their ears.)
Grandpa: Tristan Brandybuck and Mokuba Took. I should've known. (He makes them do his dishes. Then Marik heads up to the podium.)
Various hobbits: Speech! Speech! Speech!
Yugi: Speech!
Marik: All right, just &%^#%#@ shut up!!!
Everyone: ......
Marik: Right. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Grubbs, Chubbs, Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles, and Proudfoots...
Mr. Proudfoot: ProudFEET! (holds up his feet. All hobbits near him fall over, writhing in agony from the smell)
Marik: Anyway, today is my 111 birthday!
Everyone: YAAAAAY!!!
Marik: (glares at the audience)
Everyone: .......
Marik: That's better. Anyway.(holds up an arm to his forehead dramatically) Alas eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. (puts his arm down and glares at some of the people) I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
Everyone: ......Whaaaaaaaaaa???
Marik: (a little nervous) I..uh..I have some things to do..(puts his hand in his pocket, and strokes something. His eyes widen) O_O I've been putting this off faaaaaaaaaaaa-
(three hours later)
Marik: aaaaaaaar too long..I regret to announce, this is the end. I'm going now - I bid you all a very fond farewell. (looks at Yugi, and starts to tear up a bit.)
Yugi: .....
Marik: Good-bye. (He says this quietly, to Yugi. He slips the card between his pointer and middle finger, and vanishes.)
Everyone: (GASP) What a great magic trick! You can come out now Marik! ..Marik?
Yugi: O_______O
Grandpa: (sleeping through yet another emotional scene) Zzzzzzzzz..(wakes up) Oh.um.(glares at the spot Marik was at)
(Meanwhile, a little distance away from the party, invisible Marik runs through his garden. He opens his door, then slams it. He laughs as he turns normal. Then he throws the card in the air, and attempts to catch it.)
Marik: OW!!! PAPER CUT!!! $#@%*@#(@#$!!!
(He goes over and gets his almighty walking stick of doom #2 and starts to walk to his kitchen to get his spiked food.)
(A few minutes later...)
Grandpa: (uses his almighty walking stick of doom to appear behind Marik, who is at the beer fridge) I suppose you think that was terribly clever.
Marik: (has a red face, then turns around) Oh.c'mon grandpa! Didja see tha look on their faces?
Grandpa: I'm not talking about that! (points to a lump on his head)
Marik: oooh...that had to hurt..what happen to ya...?
(Flashback to a few minutes ago.Grandpa is following the invisible Marik. Marik opens the door, then slams it. It his Grandpa right in the forehead, and he is knocked unconcious.)
Marik: Oh...sowwy..
Grandpa: You're drunk, aren't you?
Marik: Yeah. Whuzzit to ya?
Grandpa: (remembers why he came here) There are many magic cards in the world Marik, and NONE of them should be used lightly.
Marik: It wash jus a bit o' fun! Oh ya're prolly right, as usu.usual..You will keep an eye on Yugi, won't ya?
Grandpa: Two eyes, as often as I can spare them.
Marik: I'm weevin everything ta him. (stumbles around the house, looking for things to take with him. He runs into things in the process.)
Grandpa: What about this card of yours, is that staying too?
Marik: Yesh, yesh, it's in an envelope over thar on the mantley piece
(Grandpa goes to look. Marik's drunkness seems to wear off)
Marik: No, wait... it's here in my pocket (takes out card, and admires it)...Isn't that, isn't that odd...After all, why not, why shouldn't I keep it...
Grandpa: I think you should leave the card behind, Marik. Is that so hard?
Marik: Well, no... and yes.
Grandpa: What?! How can it be hard to leave a card behind?! All you gotta do is leave it on a table, leave, and it's done!
Marik: Whatever..Now it comes to it, I don't feel like parting with it. It's mine, I found it, it came to me!
Grandpa: (hurt look in his eyes) (sniff sniff) There's no need to get angry..
Marik: Well, if I'm angry, it's your fault! (strokes the card) It's mine, my own, my precioussssss.
Grandpa: Precious? It's been called that before, but not by you....
Marik: (suddenly mad at Grandpa) Argh! What business is it of yours what I do with my own things?!
Grandpa: I think you have had that card quite long enough...you're obsessing over it...(goes to phone, and nearly dials the mental institution.)
Marik: (panics) Not there again! (tries to think of something) You want it for yourself!
Grandpa: (slams phone down) Marik Baggins!!!
Marik: (staggers backwards against a wall. His drunkness is back)
Grandpa: Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks!!
(In Marik's eyes: A Wal-mart smily face with a huuuuge afro has replaced Grandpa's head, and he's wearing a disco outfit. At his blue suede shoes, are tiny dinosaurs dancing to 'Stayin Alive!' Little butterfiles are flying around his head, fluttering their wings to 'Butterfly' ((yep, two songs playing at once in Marik's head.)))
Grandpa: I am NOT trying to rob you! I'm only trying to help you..(tries to call the mental institution again.)
(In Marik's ears: Grandpa has just said, 'You're love life is such a bore. I'm going to call someone and see if he or she will come over.')
Marik: (whimpers and hugs Grandpa)
Grandpa: O______O (slowly pushes Marik away) ..um..all our long years, we've been friends. Nothing more, just FRIENDS. (thinks that the card is making Marik do this) Let it go..and let ME go.
Marik: (drunkness has now officially worn off. He lets go of Grandpa and strikes a triumphant pose) You're right Grandpa! The card must go to Yugi! (picks up his almighty walking stick of doom #2) I'll be off! I'm going to Rivendell for a bit! (opens the door, and starts to walk out)
Grandpa: Marik. The card is still in your pocket.
Marik: (stops) Oh..right. (he takes the card out. He looks really reluctant to give it up)
Grandpa: (sees this) Hey Marik! There's some really hot guys and girls in Rivendell! Plus, they really hate people who carry cards around!
Marik: (drops the card immediately. Then he heads out the door) you know what Grandpa? I thought of an ending for my plan to take over the world."Take over the world, and live happily ever after .to the end of my days."
Grandpa: And I'm sure you will my dear friend.
Marik: Good bye, Grandpa.
Grandpa: Good bye, dear Marik.
(Marik goes out of his gate, and walks down the road)
Marik (singing): The duel goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began...
Grandpa: Until our next meeting....and good riddance!!!
(Grandpa re-enters Bag End. He stoops to pick up the card, but stops short when the Eye of Sauron flashes in his mind. He rises and proceeds to sit himself by the fireplace to smoke some 'deadly weed')
Voice over of Marik: Its mine, my own, my preciousssssss!
Grandpa (mumbling): Riddles in the Dark.
(Yugi runs in through the big door, and falls flat on his face. He gets back up)
Yugi: MARIK! MAAAAARIIIIIIIIIK!!! (He sees the card and stoops to pick it up) Ooooooh, a holographic Blue Eyes White Dragon card! Shiny.....
Grandpa: (turns to Yugi) Be quiet Yugi! Can't you see I'm trying to concentrate! (turns back to fire) My precious.
(Yugi notices Grandpa smoking by the fireplace, approaches him)
Grandpa (mumbling): Precious...
Yugi: (grabs Grandpa's cigar and stamps it in the ground.) Don't you know that this will kill you, Grandpa?
Grandpa: Shut up.
Yugi: (looks around for Marik) He's gone hasn't he? He talked for so long about leaving. I didn't think he'd really do it....Grandpa?
Grandpa: Huh? What? (Eyes Yugi holding the card. Thinks to himself) 'Aw crap, he found the card! Oh well! That means I won't deal with the trouble!' (smiles at Yugi) Marik's card. He's gone to stay with the elves. He's left you Bag End, you lucky devil you!
Yugi: Huh?
(Grandpa holds envelope open, Yugi slips in the Card, Grandpa seals the envelope with wax and gives it to Yugi.)
Grandpa: ...along with all his possessions. The Card is yours now. Put it somewhere out of sight. (Gets up to leave)
Yugi: Where are you going?
Grandpa: There are some things that I must see to.
Yugi: What things?
Grandpa: Questions. Questions that need answering!
Yugi: Duh, there are no other questions!
Grandpa: Shut up.
Yugi: But..but..but..(eyes tear up) You've only just arrived. I don't understand...
Grandpa: (thinking to himself) 'Must.resist.the.eyes.ARGH! I can't! Must.comfort him.' (talking to Yugi) Neither do I. (puts a hand on Yugi's shoulder) Keep it secret, keep it safe. (Grandpa goes out the door)
Yugi: (looks down at the envelope in his hand) I wonder if I can make Joey duel with me and this baby?
(New Scene: Mount Doom, then the towers of the fortress of Barad-Dur, including the fiery moats and the lights of the orcs on the roads)
Tea: (we hear her, but we can't see her. She cries out) EEEEEEYAAAAAAAAH!!!! SHIRE!!!! BAGGINS!!!!
(New Scene: Mount Doom erupts)
(The Black Riders leave Minas Morgul, the opera choir chants an unknown language)
Grandpa: (Riding to the White City, he sees the volcano erupting) Aw crap, we're gonna die. Oh wait.it erupts all the time and yet we all remain alive somehow.silly me! (looks over to Mordor, and rides off) Giddy-up, horsie!
Grandpa's horse: -_-;;;
(In Minas Tirith, Grandpa follows a group tour around. He finds the library, and breaks away from the tour. He searches for Isildur's personal diary. He finally finds it after weeks of searching)
Grandpa reads:
Isildur's voice: The year 3434 of the Second Age, here follows the diary of Isildur, high king of Gondor, and the finding of the Card of Power. It has come to me, the one Card. It shall be an heirloom of my kingdom. All those who follow in my bloodline shall be bound to its fate, for I will risk no hurt to the card...It is.... preciousssssssss to me, though I buy it with great pain. The markings upon the back of the card begin to fade. The writing, which at first was as clear as red flame, has all but disappeared. A secret now that only fire can tell.
Grandpa: Man, everyone's obsessed with the stupid card! It's a madhouse I tell you! I hope I don't get obsessed over it either..(glances nervously around him.)
(New Scene: Evening, Farmer Keith's hobbit house. He is chopping wood, when one of his henchmen starts to bark. A Black Rider appears. The henchman whines and backs into the house)
Black Rider: (in a reaaaally creepy voice) Shhhhhire...? Baaaaggins...?
Farmer Keith: There ain't no Baggins here! They all up in Hobbiton. That there way (he points)
Black Rider: (rides off on his black wooden horse) Giddy-up, horsie!
Wooden Horse: -_-;;;
TO BE CONTINUED!!! Please R&R