Chapter 6
Brandy squealed, kicking her chubby legs back and forth in her swing.
A couple of feet in front of her, sprawled out tiredly beside an open, half- empty pizza box, Sheridan and Luis smiled at her enthusiasm.
In the kitchen, evidence of the disastrous cooking lesson still lingered.
By tacit agreement, the clean-up from the fire extinguisher had been put on hold. At least until they'd filled their growling stomachs.
"We really should be more daring." Sheridan murmured, pressing her lips to Luis's collarbone, then tucking her blond head back under his chin.
"Hmm?" Luis wondered lazily.
"Chinese," Sheridan mumbled sleepily. "If I eat one more pizza."
Luis laughed, slipping his hand beneath her tee-shirt to rest it at the small of her back. He smiled when he felt her relax even more fully against him. "You? What about me?" he teased her. "I haven't eaten a decent meal since we got back from our honeymoon, and it's not like we."
"Okay," Sheridan groaned into his neck. "Enough. I get it. You look SO malnutritioned," she said, lifting her head up so that he could see her rolling her eyes at him. "Hmm.what's that? A rib? Luis, you are so right. This is so awful. You're losing muscle tone," she gasped. "Oh my God! And you know I only married you for your body," she said, holding a hand to her mouth.
Luis grinned when she dropped her hand, her mouth opening in a string of silly laughter.
Sheridan smiled against his lips when she dipped her head to kiss him. "You poor baby," she breathed, snuggling close to his side again.
Brandy squealed again, and they both paused to smile and wave at her.
"I didn't marry you for your cooking skills," Luis's voice rumbled deep within his chest.
"You married me in spite of my hideous LACK of them," Sheridan sighed. "Well.that's it. No more cooking lessons."
"What? You're bad, but you're not hopeless," Luis said in the way of protest.
"I meant no more lessons for me and YOU," Sheridan huffed. "In case you haven't noticed Luis.I can't concentrate worth a damn when you're kissing me. All rational thought leaves my brain, I get weak in the knees and wherever else, and I totally forget about the food.the apartment could have burned down earlier, and would I have noticed? NO! Because your hands and your lips and.dammit, Luis. I'll get your mother to teach me how to cook. I'm pretty sure she can keep her hands to herself, and WHY are you laughing at me?"
"Nothing. It's nothing," Luis tried to lie even though he was greatly amused.
"What?" Sheridan pouted, straddling his waist and crossing her arms around her chest while she stared down at him.
"I'm not laughing at you," Luis grinned, squirming when his lovely wife started running her nails up and down his bare chest. "It's.Mama. What you said.it was just a strange picture," he explained, grabbing her hands before they could sneak under the waistband of his jeans.
Sheridan's mouth opened in a wide 'O' of realization just seconds before she burst into hysterical laughter, blushing in embarrassment. "If you repeat one word to Pilar, I'll."
Luis cut off her weak threat with his lips, flattening her against his chest. "There are ways to keep me quiet," he said with a teasing wiggle of his dark brows.
"Not quiet enough," she rolled her blue eyes at him with a playful shove, nodding toward the baby watching them with the closest thing to rapt fascination Luis had ever seen in her blue-green orbs.
"You said it yourself," he said, grasping at straws. "She's three months old. What are the odds she'll even know.Sheridan. Sheridan," he whined in frustration. "Don't leave," he said, grasping her hand as she stood up and tugging her forward for one more kiss. "You're beautiful and sexy.I love you.and did I mention how long it'd been since."
"Oh yeah," she smirked at him as he drew her wrist to his lips and looked up at her with pleading dark eyes. "Celibacy and Luis in the same sentence. Sorry. I'm not buying it," she said, removing her hand from his lips and stooping to pick up the pizza box on the way to the kitchen.
Luis sat up, locking eyes with Julian and Ivy's spawn, his voice hopeful as an idea came to him. "If I cleaned the mess in the kitchen, gave the baby her bath AND put her to bed."
Sheridan closed the refrigerator door and turned to him with an amused grin. "You might have a deal. Luis!" she cried when her husband was on his feet in a flash. Maybe.no. That was ridiculous. "Hurry. But make sure she's fast asleep," she said, laughing. "I'll be waiting."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Kay, Sweetie," Grace Bennett smiled sweetly. "Are you sure you don't want any tomato soup cake? I made sure it had that extra kick," she winked. "Just for you."
Kay smirked when she heard faint gagging noises coming from the woman beside her, but then she remembered.she wasn't supposed to be feeling well. "I'm sure, Mom," she said softly, trying to look as sick as she could.
Piece of cake. Tomato Soup Cake, actually.
"Oh," Grace sighed in disappointment. "Gwen?" she shifted her gaze to Hank's green-gilled wife. "Would you like some more."
Gwen grimaced and pushed the plate Grace waved under her nose away. "I think that extra kick did me in."
"Give it to Miguel," Hank suggested helpfully. "You don't actually EAT Grace's cooking," Hank told his wife as soon as Grace left, intent on pawning off the rest of the dreadful cake on Charity's lovesick puppy.
"Uncle Hank is right," Jessica agreed.
"Then what do you do with it?" Gwen wondered. It had LOOKED like everyone had cleared their plates. What had she missed?
Reese shrugged, his finger going to his nose to push up those imaginary glasses of his again. "Hide it in your napkin."
"Dump it on Miguel's plate while he's making googly eyes at Charity," Kay said, rolling her eyes.
"Keep Grace as distracted as possible."
Gwen blinked in astonishment to realize that last suggestion had come straight from Sam Bennett's lips. "Oookay," she said slowly, suddenly wanting to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. She could not believe that ANYONE had survived two days of Grace's dreadful culinary 'skills' much less almost two decades. She knew she wasn't going to last much longer before she did something drastic. She wasn't sure what yet. Something. Anything to keep the woman far, far, far away from the kitchen. "She doesn't notice all the food in the trash?"
"Nope," Hank grinned goofily at her.
"Tabitha comes by and gets the scraps for her cat Fluffy," Jessica said, frowning as she added, "Poor cat."
"Have you seen that thing?" Kay muttered. "Poor cat? Riiiiight. He obviously appreciates Mom's cooking more than we do."
"Wait a minute. Wait a minute," Gwen shook her head. "WHAT do you eat? How do you."
"Well, I happily rely on my beautiful, loaded wife to support all my needs," Hank joked. Or at least he tried to play it off as joking.
Kay, Gwen, Reese.everyone knew Hank was only half-joking.
Yeah. Uncle Hank was and always had been a freeloader. A charming freeloader, but a freeloader all the same. Luckily, Gwen didn't seem to care too much. Like Uncle Hank said.she WAS most definitely loaded.
"The Book Café." Jessica answered.
"Used to be Miguel's for me," Kay admitted, "but now McDonald's will do in a pinch."
"Lobster Shack," Sam said absently. "Does anybody want to go to the Lobster Shack?" he suddenly asked, rubbing his grumbling stomach.
"I'm game," Hank grinned, hopping off the arm of the sofa and tugging his wife to her feet.
Jessica giggled.
It was only a couple of inches, but still.Gwen being taller than Uncle Hank without shoes on was still amusing to her.
"What about."
"Mom?" Kay answered Gwen. "She's in her own little world. Trust me. She won't even notice we're gone with Aunt Faith and Charity and Miguel here with her. Don't you want to hear all about the torture I inflicted on Sheridan today?" Kay grinned devilishly. "Geez. Three months of the Sex-a- thon, and those two are still going at it. Is Luis really THAT good?" "Luis? What about Luis?" Sam asked his daughter as he stuffed his wallet in his back pants pocket.
Gwen bit her lip to keep from laughing and ducked her blond head.
"Nothing, Dad. I was telling Gwen how good a cop Luis is."
"He did nail the perp that assaulted that little old lady in the Book Café today," Sam said appreciatively.
"Did I tell you what the Lethal Weapon did today?" Kay turned to Gwen, bursting at the seams.
"Lethal Weapon?" Sam wondered as they tiptoed out the front door and crept down the sidewalk.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Adrian leaned back in his chair, eyeing the bubbly brunette across the table from him, attacking her piece of chocolate cake with child-like gusto.
At the head of the table, Julian clenched his fist around his glass of water, sweat beading his forehead as he concentrated intensely. Imagining the water magically turning into a glass of scotch. Maybe on the rocks. At this hellacious point, he didn't give a damn. He'd be giddy if he had the tiniest drop of alcohol on his tongue.
Life in the Crane Mansion had never been a cakewalk stone cold drunk. Sober with Ethan's young bride under the same roof? Dear, Merciful God in Heaven have PITY on his poor soul.
Ivy watched, fascinated as Theresa picked the piece of chocolate cake up between her fingers and wedged it into her mouth, licking icing off each and every finger.
"It's so nice to finally meet you, Adrian," Theresa turned her full attention on Ethan's younger, admittedly attractive brother.
Adrian smirked when she offered him a smile, revealing chocolate-darkened teeth. "Nice to meet you too. You must really like chocolate cake," he noted.
"I LOVE IT!" Theresa bubbled, bouncing in her chair.
Ethan stared back at Adrian with his usual, bored expression.
"Tell me about yourself, Theresa. Ethan's letters haven't done you justice."
"Okay," Theresa agreed. "How about Twenty Questions?"
Adrian arched a dark brow at her. "Whatever you want."
Theresa's big brown eyes darted back and forth as she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I'm trying to think of a really good question.the perfect question that will tell me all about you."
"This should take a while," Julian muttered.
"I can't think of anything," Theresa whined.
"Imagine you're Barbara Walters, Dear," Ivy suggested dryly. Looking at Julian questioningly when he started to choke. "Julian, are you okay?"
"Fine," Julian barked. "Actually," he said, seizing what would most likely be his ONLY opportunity to escape the entire evening. "If you would excuse me."
"I know!" Theresa exclaimed. "Backstreet Boys or NSYNC?"
"Who?" Adrian decided it'd be fun to toy with Ethan's latest pet.
"OH MY GOD!" Theresa shrieked, going deathly pale. "You don't know who they are? Ethan, your brother doesn't know who the Backstreet Boys OR NSYNC are!" she screamed.
Julian winced. He could swear he saw a crack splintering down his wine glass.
"Should I know them?" Adrian pretended total innocence.
Theresa started shaking, clutching her hand to her mouth in horrified silence, huge tears welling up in her brown eyes.
Ivy sighed, throwing her napkin down on the table as Ethan tried to calm his wife and her other son looked on with the devil's mischief sparkling in his eyes. Her son, she thought proudly.
Adrian shook his dark head in slight disbelief.
This chick was a trip and ripe for mocking.
Harmony was looking better by the minute.
Brandy squealed, kicking her chubby legs back and forth in her swing.
A couple of feet in front of her, sprawled out tiredly beside an open, half- empty pizza box, Sheridan and Luis smiled at her enthusiasm.
In the kitchen, evidence of the disastrous cooking lesson still lingered.
By tacit agreement, the clean-up from the fire extinguisher had been put on hold. At least until they'd filled their growling stomachs.
"We really should be more daring." Sheridan murmured, pressing her lips to Luis's collarbone, then tucking her blond head back under his chin.
"Hmm?" Luis wondered lazily.
"Chinese," Sheridan mumbled sleepily. "If I eat one more pizza."
Luis laughed, slipping his hand beneath her tee-shirt to rest it at the small of her back. He smiled when he felt her relax even more fully against him. "You? What about me?" he teased her. "I haven't eaten a decent meal since we got back from our honeymoon, and it's not like we."
"Okay," Sheridan groaned into his neck. "Enough. I get it. You look SO malnutritioned," she said, lifting her head up so that he could see her rolling her eyes at him. "Hmm.what's that? A rib? Luis, you are so right. This is so awful. You're losing muscle tone," she gasped. "Oh my God! And you know I only married you for your body," she said, holding a hand to her mouth.
Luis grinned when she dropped her hand, her mouth opening in a string of silly laughter.
Sheridan smiled against his lips when she dipped her head to kiss him. "You poor baby," she breathed, snuggling close to his side again.
Brandy squealed again, and they both paused to smile and wave at her.
"I didn't marry you for your cooking skills," Luis's voice rumbled deep within his chest.
"You married me in spite of my hideous LACK of them," Sheridan sighed. "Well.that's it. No more cooking lessons."
"What? You're bad, but you're not hopeless," Luis said in the way of protest.
"I meant no more lessons for me and YOU," Sheridan huffed. "In case you haven't noticed Luis.I can't concentrate worth a damn when you're kissing me. All rational thought leaves my brain, I get weak in the knees and wherever else, and I totally forget about the food.the apartment could have burned down earlier, and would I have noticed? NO! Because your hands and your lips and.dammit, Luis. I'll get your mother to teach me how to cook. I'm pretty sure she can keep her hands to herself, and WHY are you laughing at me?"
"Nothing. It's nothing," Luis tried to lie even though he was greatly amused.
"What?" Sheridan pouted, straddling his waist and crossing her arms around her chest while she stared down at him.
"I'm not laughing at you," Luis grinned, squirming when his lovely wife started running her nails up and down his bare chest. "It's.Mama. What you said.it was just a strange picture," he explained, grabbing her hands before they could sneak under the waistband of his jeans.
Sheridan's mouth opened in a wide 'O' of realization just seconds before she burst into hysterical laughter, blushing in embarrassment. "If you repeat one word to Pilar, I'll."
Luis cut off her weak threat with his lips, flattening her against his chest. "There are ways to keep me quiet," he said with a teasing wiggle of his dark brows.
"Not quiet enough," she rolled her blue eyes at him with a playful shove, nodding toward the baby watching them with the closest thing to rapt fascination Luis had ever seen in her blue-green orbs.
"You said it yourself," he said, grasping at straws. "She's three months old. What are the odds she'll even know.Sheridan. Sheridan," he whined in frustration. "Don't leave," he said, grasping her hand as she stood up and tugging her forward for one more kiss. "You're beautiful and sexy.I love you.and did I mention how long it'd been since."
"Oh yeah," she smirked at him as he drew her wrist to his lips and looked up at her with pleading dark eyes. "Celibacy and Luis in the same sentence. Sorry. I'm not buying it," she said, removing her hand from his lips and stooping to pick up the pizza box on the way to the kitchen.
Luis sat up, locking eyes with Julian and Ivy's spawn, his voice hopeful as an idea came to him. "If I cleaned the mess in the kitchen, gave the baby her bath AND put her to bed."
Sheridan closed the refrigerator door and turned to him with an amused grin. "You might have a deal. Luis!" she cried when her husband was on his feet in a flash. Maybe.no. That was ridiculous. "Hurry. But make sure she's fast asleep," she said, laughing. "I'll be waiting."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Kay, Sweetie," Grace Bennett smiled sweetly. "Are you sure you don't want any tomato soup cake? I made sure it had that extra kick," she winked. "Just for you."
Kay smirked when she heard faint gagging noises coming from the woman beside her, but then she remembered.she wasn't supposed to be feeling well. "I'm sure, Mom," she said softly, trying to look as sick as she could.
Piece of cake. Tomato Soup Cake, actually.
"Oh," Grace sighed in disappointment. "Gwen?" she shifted her gaze to Hank's green-gilled wife. "Would you like some more."
Gwen grimaced and pushed the plate Grace waved under her nose away. "I think that extra kick did me in."
"Give it to Miguel," Hank suggested helpfully. "You don't actually EAT Grace's cooking," Hank told his wife as soon as Grace left, intent on pawning off the rest of the dreadful cake on Charity's lovesick puppy.
"Uncle Hank is right," Jessica agreed.
"Then what do you do with it?" Gwen wondered. It had LOOKED like everyone had cleared their plates. What had she missed?
Reese shrugged, his finger going to his nose to push up those imaginary glasses of his again. "Hide it in your napkin."
"Dump it on Miguel's plate while he's making googly eyes at Charity," Kay said, rolling her eyes.
"Keep Grace as distracted as possible."
Gwen blinked in astonishment to realize that last suggestion had come straight from Sam Bennett's lips. "Oookay," she said slowly, suddenly wanting to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. She could not believe that ANYONE had survived two days of Grace's dreadful culinary 'skills' much less almost two decades. She knew she wasn't going to last much longer before she did something drastic. She wasn't sure what yet. Something. Anything to keep the woman far, far, far away from the kitchen. "She doesn't notice all the food in the trash?"
"Nope," Hank grinned goofily at her.
"Tabitha comes by and gets the scraps for her cat Fluffy," Jessica said, frowning as she added, "Poor cat."
"Have you seen that thing?" Kay muttered. "Poor cat? Riiiiight. He obviously appreciates Mom's cooking more than we do."
"Wait a minute. Wait a minute," Gwen shook her head. "WHAT do you eat? How do you."
"Well, I happily rely on my beautiful, loaded wife to support all my needs," Hank joked. Or at least he tried to play it off as joking.
Kay, Gwen, Reese.everyone knew Hank was only half-joking.
Yeah. Uncle Hank was and always had been a freeloader. A charming freeloader, but a freeloader all the same. Luckily, Gwen didn't seem to care too much. Like Uncle Hank said.she WAS most definitely loaded.
"The Book Café." Jessica answered.
"Used to be Miguel's for me," Kay admitted, "but now McDonald's will do in a pinch."
"Lobster Shack," Sam said absently. "Does anybody want to go to the Lobster Shack?" he suddenly asked, rubbing his grumbling stomach.
"I'm game," Hank grinned, hopping off the arm of the sofa and tugging his wife to her feet.
Jessica giggled.
It was only a couple of inches, but still.Gwen being taller than Uncle Hank without shoes on was still amusing to her.
"What about."
"Mom?" Kay answered Gwen. "She's in her own little world. Trust me. She won't even notice we're gone with Aunt Faith and Charity and Miguel here with her. Don't you want to hear all about the torture I inflicted on Sheridan today?" Kay grinned devilishly. "Geez. Three months of the Sex-a- thon, and those two are still going at it. Is Luis really THAT good?" "Luis? What about Luis?" Sam asked his daughter as he stuffed his wallet in his back pants pocket.
Gwen bit her lip to keep from laughing and ducked her blond head.
"Nothing, Dad. I was telling Gwen how good a cop Luis is."
"He did nail the perp that assaulted that little old lady in the Book Café today," Sam said appreciatively.
"Did I tell you what the Lethal Weapon did today?" Kay turned to Gwen, bursting at the seams.
"Lethal Weapon?" Sam wondered as they tiptoed out the front door and crept down the sidewalk.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Adrian leaned back in his chair, eyeing the bubbly brunette across the table from him, attacking her piece of chocolate cake with child-like gusto.
At the head of the table, Julian clenched his fist around his glass of water, sweat beading his forehead as he concentrated intensely. Imagining the water magically turning into a glass of scotch. Maybe on the rocks. At this hellacious point, he didn't give a damn. He'd be giddy if he had the tiniest drop of alcohol on his tongue.
Life in the Crane Mansion had never been a cakewalk stone cold drunk. Sober with Ethan's young bride under the same roof? Dear, Merciful God in Heaven have PITY on his poor soul.
Ivy watched, fascinated as Theresa picked the piece of chocolate cake up between her fingers and wedged it into her mouth, licking icing off each and every finger.
"It's so nice to finally meet you, Adrian," Theresa turned her full attention on Ethan's younger, admittedly attractive brother.
Adrian smirked when she offered him a smile, revealing chocolate-darkened teeth. "Nice to meet you too. You must really like chocolate cake," he noted.
"I LOVE IT!" Theresa bubbled, bouncing in her chair.
Ethan stared back at Adrian with his usual, bored expression.
"Tell me about yourself, Theresa. Ethan's letters haven't done you justice."
"Okay," Theresa agreed. "How about Twenty Questions?"
Adrian arched a dark brow at her. "Whatever you want."
Theresa's big brown eyes darted back and forth as she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I'm trying to think of a really good question.the perfect question that will tell me all about you."
"This should take a while," Julian muttered.
"I can't think of anything," Theresa whined.
"Imagine you're Barbara Walters, Dear," Ivy suggested dryly. Looking at Julian questioningly when he started to choke. "Julian, are you okay?"
"Fine," Julian barked. "Actually," he said, seizing what would most likely be his ONLY opportunity to escape the entire evening. "If you would excuse me."
"I know!" Theresa exclaimed. "Backstreet Boys or NSYNC?"
"Who?" Adrian decided it'd be fun to toy with Ethan's latest pet.
"OH MY GOD!" Theresa shrieked, going deathly pale. "You don't know who they are? Ethan, your brother doesn't know who the Backstreet Boys OR NSYNC are!" she screamed.
Julian winced. He could swear he saw a crack splintering down his wine glass.
"Should I know them?" Adrian pretended total innocence.
Theresa started shaking, clutching her hand to her mouth in horrified silence, huge tears welling up in her brown eyes.
Ivy sighed, throwing her napkin down on the table as Ethan tried to calm his wife and her other son looked on with the devil's mischief sparkling in his eyes. Her son, she thought proudly.
Adrian shook his dark head in slight disbelief.
This chick was a trip and ripe for mocking.
Harmony was looking better by the minute.