**A/N: I know it is the 26th, but Happy Christmas, anyway. ( And to take
care of my half Jewish side-happy belated Hanukkah! I hope you all have a
great New Years. Wow, it will be 2003 and I am writing about the
renaissance. Go figure (
"HOLY SHIT!"
William sat upright in bed. Someone downstairs was screaming obscenities. A woman's voice, no doubt Kate's. He cursed Kate for screaming before the sun had even begun to rise. He was exhausted from training and had spent the night at Wat's house. He threw the blankets off of himself, and groaned when he realised how sore his back was.
"GOD DAMN IT!"
Now he was more than curious. Kate was at least courteous -- most of the time. The floor was cold when he set his bare feet on it and it took him a moment to stand up. He could hear things falling downstairs, and, taking a wide yawn, he opened his door and walked down the staircase.
Cora was standing in front of a counter, red hair falling out of a loose bun, wearing a flour coated apron. Her face was smudged with flour and egg.
"How is that BLOODY possible?" She muttered to herself.
William rested his hand on a chair and cleared his throat. She jumped and then turned around.
"Morning," he said. "Trouble in the kitchen?"
She set down the dough she had been kneading, and wiped the hair out of her face, causing more flour to powder her cheek.
"No, everything's quite fine. Really. Did I wake you?"
"I'm not sure if it was you. I woke up to someone screaming and thought it was Kate. Have you seen her?"
"No. She's still sleeping."
"Right. So it was you." He walked up to the counter to see what she was doing to cause so much frustration.
"What are you making?"
"Bread. At least I am trying to. Doesn't it look like bread?" Her voice sounded hopeful, and panicked.
"Perhaps... but is bread really supposed to be that color?"
"It said to add four eggs."
"Four egg whites." William corrected. He took an egg and cracked it on the bowl, and then took out the yolk. "Egg whites." He showed her what was left inside the shell.
She sighed loudly and sat down in a chair.
"You've never made bread before, have you?" He asked.
She closed her eyes as if trying to block out the experience. Her eyelids were coated with flour. "I've never cooked anything before."
"Well bread wasn't a very easy start. Why were you trying to bake it, anyway?"
"I wanted to make it for when you three woke up. But I don't think that'll be happening, now."
"Well do you want me to help you?"
"I don't need help." She said. She stood back up and poked the dough with her finger. "See. Crusty."
William tried not to laugh. "It's supposed to be crusty after it's baked."
"Where am I supposed to bake this?"
"In the oven."
"How do I start an oven?"
"By putting firewood in it."
"How do I get firewood?"
"Chop it down!"
She put her hand to her chest. She looked at the dough and sighed again.
"You only have to ask. Don't be so stubborn."
She glanced at him and frowned. Then she threw up her hands, resigning.
"William, would you be so gracious as to help me bake bread?"
"No."
"But! You just said-"
"Just joking," he said, grinning. He looked at the bread and poked it also. "Let's start fresh, all right?"
"What should we do with the old dough then?"
"We could pitch it... or we could try to bake it and give it to Geoff?"
"Don't be cruel. It looks poisonous, throw it out."
He set it aside and grabbed a large bag of sugar.
"All right. Do you understand measurements?"
"No."
"All right, well it says three heaping spoonfuls." He grabbed a spoon and started scooping out the sugar.
She studied him for a moment and sighed.
"You shouldn't be helping me, Will. You should be in bed."
"I should, shouldn't I?" He grinned at her and reached for the flour next.
"How hard has my brother been working you?"
His hand rested in midair as he looked at her. "Do I really look that bad?"
"You look tired." She noted. His hair was standing out in all directions, eyelids drooping from lack of sleep, and his shirt, pants, and bare feet hardly looked like enough to keep him warm.
"I am fine," he said through a yawn. He was cracking eggs and taking out the yolks now. "Egg whites." He said, and showed her again.
"How did I get to be such a mess, and you still have your hands clean?" She asked as she studied her fingernails.
"It's all right. You should have seen me the first time I cooked."
"What?" She asked slowly. Did it look something like this?" She threw a handful of flour at him, which splattered across his cheek.
He turned his face to her, eyes blank. "What did you do that for?" His voice wasn't angry.
"I don't know about you, Sir William, but I always played with my food."
He didn't say anything but continued to measure out ingredients. Cora looked at his face and felt embarrassed. He wasn't retaliating. He looked almost sad.
"Look, Will, I'm sorry-"
Before she could end the sentence he had cracked an egg on her head.
"For what?" He asked. He was smiling too sweetly.
"Oh that's it." She said. She grabbed more flour and threw it at his hair.
"Now you look just like the King, with your powdered hair."
"Well the king is allowed to do anything he bloody well chooses. So this isn't illegal-" He threw a cup of water at her, which splashed on her apron and started soaking the floor.
"We're going to wake up Wat and Kate."
He leaned in and whispered.
"I don't care."
He lifted up his hand and smashed another egg on her head. "It's his house. He'll have to clean it up."
She screamed loudly and tried to grab for the eggs. He grabbed her wrists with one hand and continued to pelt her with eggs with the other. She tried to wriggle out of his grip, but her feet lost their balance and she tumbled to the floor. William stopped throwing things at her and crouched down.
"Are you all right?" He asked.
"Never better." She said through a fit of giggles. She grabbed some of the fallen yolk and threw it at his face. "Never better."
He ignored the sneak attack, and tried to help her up but the combination of her weight and the slippery floor made him fall also. He was sprawled on the ground besides Cora, almost laughing harder than her. Footsteps on the staircase made both of them stop, and Cora sat up to see Wat standing on the bottom step, clutching a pillow and rubbing his eyes.
"Do you have any idea what time it is?" He asked. His eyes glanced at Will on the floor next to Cora. "What are you two doing?"
"Baking," Will said. "Or at least trying to." He threw some flour on Cora's head, which stuck nicely to the egg.
She turned to him and mussed his hair, laughing as flour fell around him like snow.
"Why are you on the floor?" He asked.
William stood up quickly. He recognized the protective tone in Wat's voice. "We slipped on the egg." He said.
"Well maybe you wouldn't have if you hadn't made such a mess. Honestly, you two behave like children." He walked into the kitchen and picked up an egg, studying it. Without warning, he smashed it in Will's hair.
Cora reacted first. She grabbed Wat from behind and held him around the waist while Will threw eggs and flour at him.
"Cora!" Wat screamed. "We share blood! Help me!"
She ignored William, who was shaking his head and mouthing no, and let go of Wat. He stumbled forward and started chucking things at Will, who was now backed into the corner.
"Making a mess of my kitchen!" He yelled. "Waking me up!" He threw another egg at William. "You better have this cleaned up before I wake up again or I will give you a bloody good fonging!" He threw one more egg at Will and then stepped away, breathing heavily. "Now if you don't mind, I am going to wash up and get back to bed."
He walked away, slipping slightly on the floor, and then clamored up the steps.
Cora looked at the mess. "Is this how bread is supposed to look?" She asked, suppressing the urge to laugh.
"Exactly." He said, and threw another egg at her.
"HOLY SHIT!"
William sat upright in bed. Someone downstairs was screaming obscenities. A woman's voice, no doubt Kate's. He cursed Kate for screaming before the sun had even begun to rise. He was exhausted from training and had spent the night at Wat's house. He threw the blankets off of himself, and groaned when he realised how sore his back was.
"GOD DAMN IT!"
Now he was more than curious. Kate was at least courteous -- most of the time. The floor was cold when he set his bare feet on it and it took him a moment to stand up. He could hear things falling downstairs, and, taking a wide yawn, he opened his door and walked down the staircase.
Cora was standing in front of a counter, red hair falling out of a loose bun, wearing a flour coated apron. Her face was smudged with flour and egg.
"How is that BLOODY possible?" She muttered to herself.
William rested his hand on a chair and cleared his throat. She jumped and then turned around.
"Morning," he said. "Trouble in the kitchen?"
She set down the dough she had been kneading, and wiped the hair out of her face, causing more flour to powder her cheek.
"No, everything's quite fine. Really. Did I wake you?"
"I'm not sure if it was you. I woke up to someone screaming and thought it was Kate. Have you seen her?"
"No. She's still sleeping."
"Right. So it was you." He walked up to the counter to see what she was doing to cause so much frustration.
"What are you making?"
"Bread. At least I am trying to. Doesn't it look like bread?" Her voice sounded hopeful, and panicked.
"Perhaps... but is bread really supposed to be that color?"
"It said to add four eggs."
"Four egg whites." William corrected. He took an egg and cracked it on the bowl, and then took out the yolk. "Egg whites." He showed her what was left inside the shell.
She sighed loudly and sat down in a chair.
"You've never made bread before, have you?" He asked.
She closed her eyes as if trying to block out the experience. Her eyelids were coated with flour. "I've never cooked anything before."
"Well bread wasn't a very easy start. Why were you trying to bake it, anyway?"
"I wanted to make it for when you three woke up. But I don't think that'll be happening, now."
"Well do you want me to help you?"
"I don't need help." She said. She stood back up and poked the dough with her finger. "See. Crusty."
William tried not to laugh. "It's supposed to be crusty after it's baked."
"Where am I supposed to bake this?"
"In the oven."
"How do I start an oven?"
"By putting firewood in it."
"How do I get firewood?"
"Chop it down!"
She put her hand to her chest. She looked at the dough and sighed again.
"You only have to ask. Don't be so stubborn."
She glanced at him and frowned. Then she threw up her hands, resigning.
"William, would you be so gracious as to help me bake bread?"
"No."
"But! You just said-"
"Just joking," he said, grinning. He looked at the bread and poked it also. "Let's start fresh, all right?"
"What should we do with the old dough then?"
"We could pitch it... or we could try to bake it and give it to Geoff?"
"Don't be cruel. It looks poisonous, throw it out."
He set it aside and grabbed a large bag of sugar.
"All right. Do you understand measurements?"
"No."
"All right, well it says three heaping spoonfuls." He grabbed a spoon and started scooping out the sugar.
She studied him for a moment and sighed.
"You shouldn't be helping me, Will. You should be in bed."
"I should, shouldn't I?" He grinned at her and reached for the flour next.
"How hard has my brother been working you?"
His hand rested in midair as he looked at her. "Do I really look that bad?"
"You look tired." She noted. His hair was standing out in all directions, eyelids drooping from lack of sleep, and his shirt, pants, and bare feet hardly looked like enough to keep him warm.
"I am fine," he said through a yawn. He was cracking eggs and taking out the yolks now. "Egg whites." He said, and showed her again.
"How did I get to be such a mess, and you still have your hands clean?" She asked as she studied her fingernails.
"It's all right. You should have seen me the first time I cooked."
"What?" She asked slowly. Did it look something like this?" She threw a handful of flour at him, which splattered across his cheek.
He turned his face to her, eyes blank. "What did you do that for?" His voice wasn't angry.
"I don't know about you, Sir William, but I always played with my food."
He didn't say anything but continued to measure out ingredients. Cora looked at his face and felt embarrassed. He wasn't retaliating. He looked almost sad.
"Look, Will, I'm sorry-"
Before she could end the sentence he had cracked an egg on her head.
"For what?" He asked. He was smiling too sweetly.
"Oh that's it." She said. She grabbed more flour and threw it at his hair.
"Now you look just like the King, with your powdered hair."
"Well the king is allowed to do anything he bloody well chooses. So this isn't illegal-" He threw a cup of water at her, which splashed on her apron and started soaking the floor.
"We're going to wake up Wat and Kate."
He leaned in and whispered.
"I don't care."
He lifted up his hand and smashed another egg on her head. "It's his house. He'll have to clean it up."
She screamed loudly and tried to grab for the eggs. He grabbed her wrists with one hand and continued to pelt her with eggs with the other. She tried to wriggle out of his grip, but her feet lost their balance and she tumbled to the floor. William stopped throwing things at her and crouched down.
"Are you all right?" He asked.
"Never better." She said through a fit of giggles. She grabbed some of the fallen yolk and threw it at his face. "Never better."
He ignored the sneak attack, and tried to help her up but the combination of her weight and the slippery floor made him fall also. He was sprawled on the ground besides Cora, almost laughing harder than her. Footsteps on the staircase made both of them stop, and Cora sat up to see Wat standing on the bottom step, clutching a pillow and rubbing his eyes.
"Do you have any idea what time it is?" He asked. His eyes glanced at Will on the floor next to Cora. "What are you two doing?"
"Baking," Will said. "Or at least trying to." He threw some flour on Cora's head, which stuck nicely to the egg.
She turned to him and mussed his hair, laughing as flour fell around him like snow.
"Why are you on the floor?" He asked.
William stood up quickly. He recognized the protective tone in Wat's voice. "We slipped on the egg." He said.
"Well maybe you wouldn't have if you hadn't made such a mess. Honestly, you two behave like children." He walked into the kitchen and picked up an egg, studying it. Without warning, he smashed it in Will's hair.
Cora reacted first. She grabbed Wat from behind and held him around the waist while Will threw eggs and flour at him.
"Cora!" Wat screamed. "We share blood! Help me!"
She ignored William, who was shaking his head and mouthing no, and let go of Wat. He stumbled forward and started chucking things at Will, who was now backed into the corner.
"Making a mess of my kitchen!" He yelled. "Waking me up!" He threw another egg at William. "You better have this cleaned up before I wake up again or I will give you a bloody good fonging!" He threw one more egg at Will and then stepped away, breathing heavily. "Now if you don't mind, I am going to wash up and get back to bed."
He walked away, slipping slightly on the floor, and then clamored up the steps.
Cora looked at the mess. "Is this how bread is supposed to look?" She asked, suppressing the urge to laugh.
"Exactly." He said, and threw another egg at her.