Copyright © 2002 by Syvia & Demon Hunter Anamae. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer: We do not own LoK, anything that relates with/and/or the game in itself, Eidos and Crystal Dynamics. So you can't sue us because first off we have no money and secondly because after reading what has been written above, it just shows two girls having mindless and wholesome fun!
Authors Notes: *Syvia and Anamae are sitting on Sherlock Holmes' roof, because he finally got back into his parlor and kicked them out. They're shivering and holding the new ten letters in their gloved hands*
Anamae- Okay, let's do this quick- I'm freezing.
Syvia- Venris. ^_^ *waves* Ooooh, *takes a choco-moby and bites off his widdle head* You're right! *munches*
Anamae- *shoves a few mobys in her pocket* GoT- Thanks! That's why we ask. ^_^
Syvia- *grins* I'm sure Vorador'll be over quicker than you can say 'Vae Victus' once he knows about Ilit.
Anamae- Fallen Templar- Thanks! Oh yeah- you actually could, Syv. :-D But now I shall not say anything more about that....
Syvia- I'll keep that in mind. ^_^ *pulls open a plot hole and cradles a water balloon for security.*
Anamae- Rocker Baby & Tiny Friends- Thank you! Sympathies to Kain & Raz *chuckles*. You might hate us later for what happens, but for the moment we always welcome views! Even if they might be as twisted as our own!
Syvia- Wooo-hooo! Food! *both dig in* It's okay, we take bribes!
Anamae- *eating ice-cream despite the cold* That's right! Sympathies go out to Rahab & Jarlaxle too. ^_^
Syvia- Hello, Jarlaxle, nice to meet you. ^_^ ...Where's he from? *makes a note to read Silveriss' fics*
Anamae- VladimirsAngel- *Syvia GLOMPS! her* *grins* Well, maybe it's been done, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done again!
Syvia- I'm glad we cheer you up. ^_^ *pats VampRaz on the head* Eh, we don't need encouragement- but it helps a lot!
Anamae- From Shady- *they both grin at the exchange between Shady & Elashana/Celadan* Aww, Vorry's not that bad.
Syvia- So you say. *grumbles*
Anamae- *grins* From Satsuki- *long silence* So maybe I do run away...and perhaps I do leave people behind...but I come back for them eventually...even if it might take a while...or longer...but I come back...I AM NOT THAT BIG OF A COWARD!!!!!!!!!
Syvia- *looks at Satsuki* I know Satsuki, *grimaces* believe me, I know.
Anamae- *winces* From the Cat of Fluff- Really, Vorry isn't that bad!
Syvia- Anamae, no one believes you- not even you.
Anamae- *sighs, grins* Yes- the children should not watch! *evil grin* And here we have the new chapter ^_^
Syvia- And last but not least, Redcat8!!! ^_^ Here's more to read right now!
Anamae- And yes, Raziel will be making appearances ^_^ but not for a while yet.
Chapter 4
A Combination of Many Things But the Best Part Is.... The Bedroom Scene!!!
Anamae- So anyways- we were going to travel to Janos' home to warn him that the Circle Members are planning to kill him come spring. If you could help us reach your father it would really be appreciated.
Vorador- Yes, I will help you, but tonight, my home is your home. After you finish eating I would like to take you on a tour of it.
Syvia- *too quickly* That's okay, we don't need to see your home.
Anamae- *bright smile* Yes, we do! Vorador, I want to ask a question!
Vorador- Very well, ask.
Anamae- Is it true that you have the biggest sadomasochist torture chamber in all of Nosgoth? And that your libido in even vampiric terms is quite large?
Vorador- How dare you ask about such things?! I'm a refined gentleman!
Syvia- *mutters* Yeah, right. *manages to sidle away from Vorador and towards the door* Well, I think I'll tuck in for the night.
Vorador- *leering once again* Let me help you.
Syvia- No, that's okay! *grabs Anamae* C'mon, let's get outta here.
Syvia, moving with the speed that one would only think possible for a roadrunner, dragged Anamae, who was still eating her heart, up the stairs and into her room. Syvia pulled the dresser up against the door, then piled a few chairs up in front of it. Then, as Anamae watched, munching the last of her dinner, Syvia picked up the four-poster bed and shoved even that up against the wall.
Then she grabbed a couple of chains, rope, duct tape, normal tape, construction site tape in yellow and taped up the door. Then as a final touch, she reached into a plot hole and pulled out the vicious and at the same time adorable chipmunk with very large teeth and placed him at the front of the mess to stand guard. Anamae grinned as the chipmunk growled cutely.
Syvia- There! Now Vorador won't be able to get in.
Anamae- Syvia?
Syvia- Yes?
Anamae- *looks around the now furniture-less room* Good call with the door and the slamming and the tape and everything, but one problem. Where am I gonna sleep?
Syvia- We'll set watches. You'll take the first watch and after one in the morning, wake me up and I'll take over.
Syvia then laid down on the floor and fell asleep without so much as a by your leave. Anamae looked at her with raised eyebrows.
Anamae- Ooooookay.
She looked around again and spotted-
Anamae- Oooh! A gift basket! ^_^ Well at least something good is happening to me now!
She picked up the basket and proceeded to investigate the contents, sitting near the heavily barricaded door. She pulled out a bag of mocha coffee beans, an automatic grinder, a battery-operated mini coffee pot, some water, and set about making herself something to drink. As her coffee brewed, Anamae searched through the rest of the basket. She threw out a bunch of lotions, but kept an impressive diamond necklace and sapphire ring. She might need them later- to sell off for money (which was always needed) or to just look at their sparkle in the sunlight.
Eventually the coffee was done and she helped herself to a cup. There was, however, a problem with Anamae and coffee. It didn't make her stay awake, but sped up the process of falling asleep.
With a slight drooping of her head and a snort, Anamae curled up on the floor and was promptly in dreamland.
And of course this is when things began to go really bad in the story.
Syvia *stirring and cracking an eyelid* - Who says?
I do! And I'm the narrator, so I should know!
Syvia- Oh really? *gets up* Well if this is the time things start to go really bad in the story, they're going to go really bad for you.
Syvia stood from her place on the floor, stepped carefully over Anamae, who was mumbling in her sleep about a lamb and a tractor, ignored the sound of the doorknob rattling and the loudly snoring chipmunk, and walked right up to the fourth wall.
She- Hey! HEY! What are you doing to me?! You're not allowed to-
Syvia- Okay, right now I'm really in control, so let's get this over with, in the hopes that I can actually get some sleep tonight.
I started back to the door, scooped up Bucky (that's the chipmunk) from his little bit of rug and deposited him in my pocket. I picked up one end of the rug that Anamae was lying on and dragged her to a shadowy corner of the room. There was no need to wake her and I was having enough trouble getting up my nerve without an audience.
Back at the door, which was still holding up somehow under the pounding that Vorador had been doing for the last five- wait a minute.... where did the furniture go? That's when I heard a muffled voice speaking from out of the fic. It was the narrator. *takes the gag out of the narrator's mouth*
Hahahhahah! I removed the furniture! You see?! I still have some say over what goes on in this fic! Sucks to be you, eh?
Syvia- Whatever. *stuffs the gag back in*
See, I had no illusions about who was doing what, or who wanted to do what, or who *shudder*, on the other side of that door.
But I had a plan, I had plot holes, and I had the element of surprise. And if none of that worked, I had a fazer from the Star Trek TNG universe in my pocket. I was pretty sure that one of the higher stun settings would work on Vorador.
Either way, I was opening that door... really... I was... gonna.. open... the door.
Then a small circular hole appeared beside the knob. Obviously Vorador could open the door by himself.... or it was another of the narrator's sick plot twists. I glanced at Anamae as the greenish cloven hand fumbled with the doorknob. Damn... that girl was out. It was just as well because she wouldn't have been any help. *mumbles to herself* Most likely she would have run from the room...
I took a step back when Vorador finally managed to gain access to the room. He was leering at me, but what else would you expect? It was Vorador. I made myself smile, a bit shyly, but a smile nonetheless, and walk up to him.
"Trouble with the door?" I asked coyly. Man, what a cheezy line, but I couldn't come up with anything better, so sue me.
Syvia sidled up to the vampire, much to Vorador's gratification-
Vorador- Well I certainly hope so!
Syvia's expression became suspicious.
Syvia- Who are you talking to?
Vorador- The narrator.
Syvia- But the narrator can't- *she whirls around to face the fourth wall* how did you get free?!
But then Vorador grabbed her.
Vorador- *grinning* All right. *and he did*
Syvia- *to the Narrator* HEY!
Payback's a bitch, ain't it? *evil grin*
Syvia- Oh crap...
And the vampire proceeded to carry his guest over to the bed.
Syvia- *being carried by a grinning Vorador* WHAT BED?!
The bed I replaced in the middle of the room, of course. Now complete with rose petals and scented candles! Vorador tossed Syvia onto it and crawled slowly after her.
Syvia- But she just as quickly climbed off the other side-
-to find Vorador standing beside the bed, still smiling and with a look in his eyes.
Syvia- *to the narrator* You are an asshole!
Tut, tut. Vorador climbed onto the bed, straddling the girl, causing Syvia to scoot back over the sheets. The ancient vampire followed her slowly, enjoying the mock-chase game they were playing, despite the girl's obvious disinclination to have any kind of intimate contact with him.
Vorador- *stops abruptly* What? *to the narrator* She doesn't want do to this?
Syvia- *taking the out* Not that we aren't grateful for the room and all, but no, I really, really don't.
Despite that, Vorador continued-
Vorador- *interrupting* What's wrong? Is it the room? Are the sheets the wrong color? *Syvia glanced down briefly at the black silk and her lip quirked just a bit, Vorador never noticed. He looked down from his position over her and his lower lip trembled.* Is...is it me? Could it be me? Perfect Vorador?
Syvia- *eyes widening* No! No, no. It's not you, it's me! I mean, *getting into the argument* you've got dozens of vampiresses falling all over you...and under you, *gets back on track* but I'm just... *thinks frantically* not ready for commitment!
Vorador moved away from the girl and sat dejectedly on the edge of his bed, wondering just when did it all go wrong.
Syvia- Hey... I'm sorry... I just, I don't think we're compatible. I mean, you're the Father of Vampires and I'm just a crazy writer. I don't think it would work out. *she pats him tentatively on the shoulder*. So you know, to make sure there are no broken feelings or hearts, we shouldn't start anything at all.
Vorador- *sniffs* Well, you've got a point. Hey *holds out a hand* no hard feelings.
Syvia- Yeah. *smiles* Only hard... never mind.
Vorador- *grins* You sure about our incompatibility? You've got quite a dirty mind there...
Syvia- Oh I am completely sure.
Vorador chuckled ruefully, gave Syvia a peck on the cheek, and left the bedroom, most likely to find one...or more...of his brides.
Syvia- Aww, cheer up, buddy. You had your fun- it's not your fault Vorador didn't cooperate with you.
*sighs* Yeah... but I really wanted to turn this into an NC-17 fic.
Syvia- *glares* Give up while you've still got your dignity.
*another sigh* Then the girl lay back, cuddled one of the fluffy pillows on the bed, and fell asleep.
The next morning, Anamae got up from the floor, stretched her aching muscles, and looked for Syvia, whom she found on the enormous bed.
She took in the rumpled state of the covers and her friend's clothing, and automatically assumed the worst. But at the same time she couldn't help but grin. I mean, anyone would because the situation was all in all quite silly when one looked back on it.
Anamae- Oh my god! You slept with him, didn't you!?
Syvia jerked awake and flinched as Anamae took a flying leap onto the bed, speaking quickly.
Anamae- Tell me everything! Was it hot? Did he have special techniques?! Did he drink your blood?!!!!
Syvia- *yawns* No.
Anamae- No to what?!
Syvia- *smacks Anamae upside the head; she falls onto the ground* All of it. Bucky was a perfect gentleman.
She got up and headed for the bathroom.
Anamae- BUCKY?!
The chipmunk popped his head out of Syvia's pocket, where he'd slept all night, and chittered sleepily.
Syvia- Well Bucky was the only 'he' I slept with last night.
She said, and slammed the door behind her.
Anamae- *to the narrator* Wha? Narrator, explain!
Read over the chapter. And that is what Anamae did. The girl did a face forwards somersault and began to giggle.
Anamae- Well, you almost had her.
I know.
Anamae- But we'll try again later, won't we?
Indeed. That's one of the many side plots in this aimless fanfic, right?
Anamae- *evil grin* Got it. But we can't say anymore; I think we've already said to much. But you and I, we have plans. Good to know I have you on my side, narrator.
Agreed.
Anamae- But if you dare to anger me in any way then I could be tempted to make your life misery.
That threat is so moot. You can't do anything, Anamae, so get off the little power trip you think you have. After Syvia emerged from the bathroom, she and Anamae wandered downstairs to find some breakfast (which was Lucky Charms cereal from the store down the swamp lane), while Bucky followed behind, chirping happily to himself. He knew what was going to happen in the next bit, but since no readers understand chipmunkanise save for Nupraptor, who got a degree in it back when he was in boy scouts, no one will know what I have planned next.
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Anamae- I'm surprised, Syvia ^_^ I never thought this of you.
Syvia- I'm sure you're not the only one. *grins* Well I love to surprise people. *chuckles, shakes her finger at Anamae* You naughty, naughty person, you! How dare you make getting me some sex a side-plot!
Anamae- Hey, I just wrote us into the room- you brought Vorador in all by yourself! *evil grin quickly turns into an innocent smile* Besides, the readers won't have a problem with this...at least I think so anyways.
Syvia- *blushes* Yes, because if there's any smut to be had between me and a character- I write it, thank you.
Anamae- *grinning* Fine with me. I do the action scenes.
Syvia- So let's see what you're plotting, and let's see how I get myself out of it! ^_^
Anamae- *grins wider*
Syvia- But not tonight. Tonight I need to sleep. *Vorador walks up with a grin. Syvia notices him* ALONE DAMNIT! *the vamp pouts and leaves* G'night all! *smiles, disappears*
Anamae- *smiling* Ten reviews, please! ^_^ And then....REVENGE!!!!!!! Oops, did I say that outloud or think it? I gotta think of a new line fast!!!