Copyright © 2002 by Syvia & Demon Hunter Anamae. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer: Previous disclaimers apply. We own ourselves... Bucky... and if anyone can be said to own a narrator- I guess we do.
Author's Notes: *Syvia and Anamae are now in the Shrieking Shack, Anamae petting a werewolf, who is lying on the floor with a truly miserable expression on his face. Of course he cannot move because he has an electrical collar tied to his neck. The moment he does move ZAP and there is one charred werewolf*
Syvia- Remus is letting us stay here for a while. :-) So on with the letters. First, from Fallen Templar- Awww, poor guy. Well- this chapter may make you feel a bit better. ^_^
Here they are! *presents a document which reads- "We, the bodiless entity guild, give a special dispensation to this member of the bodiless head guild, to narrate for one Syvia and one Demon Hunter Anamae, as she has shown her talent for description, making trouble, and having a grand old time with narration* ^_^ Heh, I feel so honored, and I'm not even in my 2nd year working for them!
Anamae- Oh wow... that's the first time I've seen that... From Rocker Baby- Leather thongs?!!!!! *drools*
Syvia- *raises an eyebrow* That's not a bazooka... *pulls out a bigger gun* this is a bazooka *puts it away* But you're welcome to him. ^_^
Anamae- From Light in Dark- Thank you! ^_^ We'll get to Janos in good time, don't worry. :-D
Syvia- Hmm... It'll probably take... two more chapters? Somewhere around that many. Next we have a letter from Satsuki- Thank you! ^_^
Anamae- *glares, calms down* Janos' bit will be quite funny. We promise. Next letter is from GoT- Oh Happy Birthday! ^_^
Syvia- And thanks for the review. ^_^ Next from bahamut- *sighs, idly watches the fight* ...what is it with these story reviews?
Anamae- From Kain's Dark Angel- Thankee! *both bow* From Chalcedony Blue- YES! MORE FAUSTY FOR ANAMAE! I deserve him! *goes off into an insane laughing spree*
Syvia- *winces, rubs her ear* Yes- more Fausty- more Fausty... I get it. And thanks! *smiles*
Anamae- *steals Syvia's Fausty plushie and cuddles both, Syvia pouts* From The Cat of Fluff- Yes.. *growls* Damn the Sarafan *imitates Charlton Heston* Damn them all to Hellllllll *trails off, gurgling*....
Syvia- Uh... ok. And last, from Mr. X- Oh, how mysterious :-D *catches the review* Thanks! We will see what happens to Janos. ^_^ Personally, we love making people laugh- and I never intend to stop writing! :-D
Anamae- Me neither. ^_^
Chapter 7
Whole Lotta Ninjas Who Are Incompetent Bimbos
Well, Syvia and Bucky knew (just as I did) that it was not a good time to mess with Anamae. I mean there she was with the vampire of her dreams, then it had to be ruined with the old couple and the shouting and the 'Vampire!' and messing it all up. Of course Faustus got back at the old couple by brutally murdering them and feasting on them, but when he's angry it's better to leave him alone. So Anamae stomped out of the bathroom, flopped down angrily on her bed, and tried to fall asleep.
Syvia- *flicking on the television* Hey, they have Nosgoth Monday Night Live, Anamae.
Anamae- *a very long and measured silence*
Bucky- Squeaky? *hands her an acorn*
Like I have mentioned before, it is not a GOOD time to MESS with Anamae. She was just as P.O.'d as Faustus but unfortunately could not turn on the people of this unpronounceable town's name, which was now seriously thinking of being called something else. Meanwhile outside in the hall both Sarafan Turel and Dumah were guarding the room, on orders from Sarafan Raziel, who was out with Melchiah, Rahab and Zephon trying to hunt down the vampire.
Sarafan Turel- So do you think that girl was really in danger?
Sarafan Dumah- ...Hell, I don't think so. I mean while she looked 'scared' enough, I think she liked it.
Sarafan Turel- *confused look* Huh?
Sarafan Dumah- All girls like to be nearly captured and almost... *uncomfortable silence* you know....it's a Freudian thing, or so I have read.
Sarafan Turel- You read, Dumah... books? *Dumah glares* If you know all this, then why does everyone write me as something of a playboy?
Sarafan Dumah- Because. They know nothing of your character and therefore can make up whatever they wish of you.
Sarafan Turel- *leaning close to the door and listening* Hey, they're talking. If we listen in, I'm sure we will find out the truth behind everything.
So while the two Sarafan warriors appeared to be all noble and such, they listened like any common gossiping fishwives as Syvia explained - or tried to explain - to Anamae what they should do.
Syvia- Don't worry, we'll find Faustus after we go tell Janos that the Circle wants him dead.
Anamae- *wails loudly* But what if my Fausty gets injured?!
Bucky- *offers a Kleenex. Anamae blows her nose loudly*
Syvia- *pats Anamae on the back* He won't. He's capable of taking care of himself. Hell, Faustus said he's a survivor when it all comes down to it. Right, narrator?
*encouragingly* Yeah, that's right!
Syvia- You sure?!
...Positive.
Anamae- Hey, you paused before answering that! You're planning something, admit it!
No, I'm not!
Anamae- *pulls a bazooka from a plot hole* You better be telling the right or else it's OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!
*insulted* I'm always right. In any event- don't worry. Oh yes, and the Sarafan outside the door have just overheard your plot to save Janos from the assassination, which was top secret, but since Turel knows he's now going to go and blab it to Raziel, who will in turn tell Moebius.
Syvia- So?
They're going to bump up the date of the assassination.
Syvia & Anamae- *wide eyes* ....
Bucky- Chirp, squeaky squeak! (That's not good!)
Anamae- So what's the date?
Four days from now.
Syvia- Then we can get some sleep, right?
Yes. You both can get your sleep. Oh- and remember, you can call up the hotel service and charge everything to the Sarafan Raziel's account. He's paying for the room.
Anamae- No way. Why would he do that?
Yeah, he wants to impress you guys. So you can charge everything to him, *sly tone of voice* even massages and all the all you can eat buffet.
Syvia- Well, I'm impressed!
Anamae- *sniffles slightly* I'm still worried about my Fausty... and to medicate the problem...*pulls out the phone near the bedside table and dials* ...I'm gonna order everything sweet.
Are you planning to save Janos any time soon?
Syvia & Anamae- YES! But we need to sleep; we girls have to look our best!
Syvia, Anamae & Bucky got up the next morning, binged on the sweets they hadn't eaten yesterday and were floating on a nice little sugar high, feeling better about everything. Faustus was fine after all, Janos was still alive, and the Sarafan were actually okay to have as guards, as they mostly followed orders and the girls were more than intelligent enough to work around them and their pestering interference. In their slumber, however, they'd forgotten about one teensy, weensy, insignificant detail...
Syvia- *straightening her shirt* What detail?
Oh! Uh- and then someone knocked on the door! With a suspicious look in my direction, Syvia stood and walked over to it, pausing with her hand on the knob.
Syvia- Am I going to be angry with you for not telling me who's on the other side of this?
*cringes* The young woman reached out and pulled the door open. It was Moebius.
Syvia- *Wide-eyed stare* ............
Moebius- .............
Syvia- .............
Moebius- .............
Uh, Mr. Time Streamer Guy? You might want to cover your ears.
Moebius- What?
Syvia- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
In classic cartoon style, Syvia screamed and shut the door in his face. She stood there for a while, Bucky, who'd heard her, came and tugged at her pant leg. In shock, Syvia was still standing there, and didn't notice him. Bucky looked at her, alarmed, and somehow (we won't ask how) he opened the door.
Moebius looked in the room, his expression confused, then he looked down. Noticing Bucky, his eyebrows- or rather where he would have had eyebrows (as he has no hair) - *snickers at the bald joke*
Moebius- *interrupting* Watch it.
*ahem* - rose. Bucky's eyes grew wide and he too gave a squirrelish scream of fright and slammed the door in Moebius' face. Bucky staggered over to Syvia, who was sitting on the floor by now.
Then a noise which sounded like a hairdryer (because it was) turned off in the bathroom and Anamae walked out. She looked at her two friends, alarmed.
Anamae- What?! What is it? I heard yelling and high-pitched screaming that sounded like it was coming from an old man that never hit puberty!
Still shocked, staring into middle distance, Syvia and Bucky both pointed towards the door. Anamae, confused, walked over and opened it to find a very sulky looking Time Streamer whose arms were folded over his chest. Anamae's eyes grew wide. Moebius hastily pulled out a pair of earmuffs and jammed them on his head. Anamae screamed and slammed the door in his face.
Moebius- *to the Narrator, deadpan* Oh very funny, har, har, har.
If you think that's funny. *clears throat* Then all the doors in that hallway opened up and their occupants caught sight of the Time Streamer. All of them screamed in fright and slammed their doors. Growling in annoyance, Moebius jerked open Syvia and Anamae's door and entered.
Anamae- *glaring* Why the hell are you here? I thought you were still ass up in the snow!
Moebius- I got out eventually- then I tracked you two down. *dramatically* And now I must make sure that you don't tell Janos we're planning to kill him. I am here to silence you both!
Syvia- *skeptically* Oh really? How?
Moebius then snapped his fingers and walked into the room like he owned it. Suddenly the song 'Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting' *gotta love that song* began to play and black clad ninjas appeared from nowhere. They were whirling around their nunchucks, ninja stars, katanas and other Oriental-styled weapons. Bucky began to squeak and run around the room in the only way that a squirrel could, then decided to high-tail it out of the room via the opened window. Syvia and Anamae stood back to back as the ninjas closed in; Moebius had a look of supreme smugness on his face.
Anamae- Ninjas.
Syvia- Options?
Anamae- Fight 'em?
Syvia- Ready?
Anamae- Set.
Syvia & Anamae- GO!
While the hit single from the 70's was playing, both girls lashed out at the ninjas. Now neither of them actually knew any mystical moves that these guys did, but did that stop or deter them in any way? Hell no! Anamae opened up a plot hole and took out the ever trustful and somewhat overrated bazooka with the fishnet inside and fired, taking down about 3 ninjas. She then followed up by using an old Jackie Chan move again two other; she stood in between them and as they charged, she simply ducked out of the way. A resounding clunk filled the room as both of their heads hit, indicating that these ninjas indeed did not have much of a brain. Syvia somehow managed to lift one of the beds over her head (when a person is in distress, they can do amazing things) and threw it at another 2 ninjas.
1st ninja: Holy crap, that woman is strong!
2nd ninja: We can't get the bed off of us! *tries to move, hears his spine snap* Aww crap!
Syvia then did a spectacular upwards kick, aiming for the ninja's covered face. Well, she got about halfway and managed to hit him somewhere far more important to men.
3rd ninja: *in a high-pitched voice* There goes my chances for having a family.
Oh Syvia, you can be SO vicious!
Moebius at this moment was beginning to panic. His ultimate ninjas (which he had bought on Ninja Online for the price of a few cheese pizzas) had gotten their asses kicked and now he was all alone. All alone against 2 people that no one felt like making angry.
Syvia- Damn straight. *cracks her knuckles*
Anamae- You think you can take us out like that, old man? We don't take kindly to such things! And we're gonna go and tell Janos about what's going to happen to him because he deserves a chance to live just like we do.
Moebius- Oh, come on now. He's a freak of nature.
You should take a look in a mirror, buddy.
Moebius- What does that mean?
It means that if I could travel through time, then I'd damn well make sure your parents had never met at that drunken rave.
Moebius- Shut up!
*While the narrator is arguing on with Moebius about how the finer points of his non-existent living would benefit the world, Anamae and Syvia creep out the window and down to the stables. They move past their supposed Sarafan bodyguards and grab their horses, meet up with Bucky just outside of town and finally begin their trek through the mountains to Janos' fortress.*
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Syvia- Damn, Anamae, you turned me into Xena at the end there. *Anamae grins* *Syvia notices something* Umm, you do realize that we didn't put any saddles on the horses?
Anamae- So?
Syvia- Our butts will hurt...
Anamae- Oh, then we'll use a car. *instantly the horses become cars* Happy?
Syvia- No Benze?
Anamae- Look, the important thing is to save Janos. *turns to the reviewers* Yes siree, if you people want to see how we manage to save (or fail in saving) Janos then you will have to leave the usual ten to eleven reviews-
Syvia- That's right! We'll take more if you want to give them to us!
Anamae- *ahem* -to see just how badly we can screw things up!
Syvia- Oh, that's encouraging!