Chapter 28
She sighed. Stroking the black curls from her daughter's worried face. She was denied peace. Even in sleep.
"Mom?" Whitney mumbled. "Mom? Is that you?"
"It's me, Baby," Eve whispered softly. Kneeling down in front of the sofa. An expression of concern plain on her features. "I didn't mean to wake you," she apologized as Whitney pushed herself up on her elbows and blinked sleepily at her.
"I wasn't getting any 'real' sleep anyway," Whitney murmured. Sitting up completely and tucking her knees beneath her chin. "Every time I close my eyes, I see her face."
Eve sank into the cushions with a sigh. "Theresa's?"
"It's over. Our friendship is over, Mom. Theresa hates me," she cried. Burying her face in her hands. "With more than good reason."
Eve reached a tentative hand out. Stroking Whitney's hair. "You know.you can talk to me about anything. People make mistakes. God knows I know that," she laughed bitterly. "I'm the last person in the world that would judge you, Honey."
Whitney raised tearful eyes to her mother's face. "I broke her heart, Mom. With Ethan's help."
Eve's brow knit in confusion. "I'm not sure I understand. What's Ethan got to do with this?"
Whitney couldn't look her mother in the eye. The shame was too great. "Ethan has everything to do with this, Mom. He and I.We."
A knock of the door startled them both.
And Eve groaned inwardly as she saw all avenues of communication with her distraught daughter quickly shutting down.
Whitney wiped her tears with the sleeve of her shirt carelessly. "I'll be in the bathroom," she explained before disappearing down the narrow hall of the apartment.
She raised on tiptoe to peer out the peephole. Groaning aloud this time when she saw who it was.
Julian.
She and Whitney were on shaky ground as it were.
Certainly, Julian's appearance could very well turn that shaky ground into quicksand.
Her mind told her one thing.
Don't let him in. Don't jeopardize this chance you've been given.
Her heart said another.
Something was wrong. So wrong.
He'd come to her.
She glanced behind herself once more. Satisfied, for the moment, to be alone.
And against her mind's protest.
She opened the door.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Kay stared through the window. Watching as Miguel held Charity in his arms. Offering her what little help he could.
Still Tessa slept. Looking so tiny and helpless among the tubes and machines.
Her heart twisted in sorrow.
No child deserved pain. Of any kind.
Chad's dark eyes narrowed suspiciously as she rubbed her stomach lightly. Self-consciously.
Something didn't add up here.
"How did you know where to find him?" he asked. Shattering the silence that hung heavily around them.
"I just knew," she murmured. Raising a shaky hand to the glass barrier that separated her from Miguel.
He sighed in resignation. Knowing that was all the explanation forthcoming from her lips. "Look.you've had a really long night. I think you should go home. Get some rest."
Her hand dropped to her side, and she turned to him with a thankful smile. "I think I'll do just that. He's where he belongs."
He didn't try to decipher the meaning of what she said. Just took her words at face value as he grasped her elbow firmly. Leading her away.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
"I still can't believe this is happening," Jessica said. Taking a sip of coffee from her mug and setting it down on the counter.
Sam raked a rough hand through his spiky hair. "I just hope the doctors can figure out what happened so they can help her."
Grace stared out the kitchen window. Her back to them. A chilling smile on her lips as her cold blue eyes regarded the figures 'hidden' in the bushes.
Tabitha.
And her little doll.
She laughed silently as Tabitha's body convulsed with shudders, and she scampered out of sight.
"Grace?"
Sam's voice directly behind her startled her. "Sam," she laughed in embarrassment. Raising a hand to her chest in alarm. "I'm sorry. What were you saying? I was a bit distracted. Thinking about Tessa," she said quickly.
Sam's seeds of suspicion dissipated. And he pulled her into his arms. Resting his chin atop her auburn head. "We all are. We all are, Grace. Jessica and I were going to go back to the hospital this afternoon. Would you like to join us?"
She made sure the smile was perfectly in place before she raised her eyes to his and answered. "I think that's a wonderful idea."
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Matthew snored softly. His fist clutching the blankets at his waist.
A tender smile graced her lips as she brushed his dark hair from his forehead.
Movement behind him caught her eye, and she looked up into the tearful blue eyes of her granddaughter.
"Mija. What are you doing up?"
Danielle's chin quivered as she stared at the floor at her feet. "I'm so worried, Nana."
Pilar ushered her out of Luis's old bedroom. The door closing with a tiny click. Into the living room. Where she took a seat. Pulling Danielle into her arms. And running her hands over her dark hair lovingly. "What if Tessa dies? Just like."
Andrew.
"Shh, Mija. You mustn't think such thoughts. Tessa is going to be fine. There, there. Don't cry," she soothed.
Danielle's shaky gulps of air gradually slowed. "But what about me?" she whispered. Tangling the rosary at Pilar's neck around her fingers. "What about Dad?" she sniffled. "What about Mommy?" she sighed. Her fingers stilling. Her breath evening out.
"You ask hard questions, Mija. Questions I can't answer," Pilar murmured against her granddaughter's soft, dark hair.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
A sliver of sunlight peeked through the slants in the blinds.
He followed the streaks. Stepping in and out of the shadows as he crossed the room to the tiny twin bed.
She lay there. Clutching the ragged teddy bear in her arms. Her shoulders shaking with sobs.
"Sheridan," he spoke softly. A hand on her shoulder.
The sobs ceased. But not the quaking.
"Sheridan.you have to let go. Andrew's gone. He isn't coming back. Ever," he drove his point home.
Blue eyes full of anger.pain.hurt.disgust.maybe even hatred turned on him. Unblinking.
He traced the tear tracks with his index finger. A frown marring his handsome face.
"Don't you think I know that, Luis?" she finally answered. "Don't you think I realize that that day.I killed my baby, Luis. I killed your son," she spat bitterly.
"It was an accident."
"Was it? Was it really? Or was it some sort of sick punishment for all the sins of the past? God knows I'm NO saint. Yeah.God knows. That's why he decided to rip my baby from my arms. That's why he."
"Sheridan," he ground out. Grabbing her forearms forcefully and hauling her upper body up against his. "Stop this!"
"Why?" she hissed. "Am I making you feel too much, Luis? Big, strong Luis. Too tough to grieve over his own son."
His jaw dropped open in shock. Each word jabbing angrily at his fragile heart. "Is that what you think? That I didn't grieve? I grieved, dammit!" he roared. Shoving her from his arms.
The wild look in her blue eyes inflamed him.
"Every day I grieve. Every day I mourn him."
"Really?" the question escaping her throat before she could halt it. "Do you really, Luis?"
"How can you ask such a question?"
The jagged edge of pain in his voice pierced her soul. But she persisted. The pain felt good. She welcomed it. It had been so long since she'd FELT anything. "You're the one that's always pushing me to move on. Forget Andrew ever existed."
"That's not what I'm doing, and you know it," he snapped.
"Whatever you say, Luis," she shrugged her shoulders. Uncurling her limbs and rising from the bed. Sweeping past him in dismissal.
"We don't have to forget him, Sheridan. We just have to let go. I've let go. Why."
"Why can't I? Why can't I let go of our son? Is that your question, Luis? I don't know. Maybe I'm afraid it IS going to be like he never existed. Maybe the guilt won't let me. I don't know, dammit."
"You have NOTHING to feel guilty about," he cried. Grabbing her arm with his hand.
She yanked at her arm. But he refused to let go. "Luis," she warned. "you let go of my arm, or."
Still he refused her.
"I hate you," she screamed suddenly. Her face red and angry. Tears coursing down her cheeks.
"Now, we're getting somewhere," he told her. His brown eyes bright as he pulled her closer. Wrapping his arms securely around her waist and refusing to let go.
"I hate you," she cried. Pounding on his chest.
"Why do you hate me, Angel? Why?" he said calmly. "Tell me," he urged as she struggled against him.
"I hate you because you weren't there. I hate you because you're stronger than me. I hate you because.I hate you because." her voice faltered. And the pounding stopped.
"Don't stop now. We're finally getting somewhere. Let it all out, Baby. Let it all out," he encouraged. Wiping her tears away with the pads of his thumbs.
"I hate you because I love you so much. So much it hurts sometimes."
He smiled slightly at the veracity of her declaration. Sometimes.the feelings were just too intense.
She tucked her blond head beneath his chin wearily. Clutching fistfuls of his shirt desperately. "I hate you because you were able to let him go. And I can't," she sobbed. Holding on to him for dear life. "I don't want to let him go, Luis. I don't want to let him go. I don't want to. Help me let him go, Luis. Please help me," she pleaded. "I don't know how."
He closed his eyes against her pain and kissed her temple. "I'll help you. I'll do whatever I can," he vowed.
He just hoped it was enough.
She sighed. Stroking the black curls from her daughter's worried face. She was denied peace. Even in sleep.
"Mom?" Whitney mumbled. "Mom? Is that you?"
"It's me, Baby," Eve whispered softly. Kneeling down in front of the sofa. An expression of concern plain on her features. "I didn't mean to wake you," she apologized as Whitney pushed herself up on her elbows and blinked sleepily at her.
"I wasn't getting any 'real' sleep anyway," Whitney murmured. Sitting up completely and tucking her knees beneath her chin. "Every time I close my eyes, I see her face."
Eve sank into the cushions with a sigh. "Theresa's?"
"It's over. Our friendship is over, Mom. Theresa hates me," she cried. Burying her face in her hands. "With more than good reason."
Eve reached a tentative hand out. Stroking Whitney's hair. "You know.you can talk to me about anything. People make mistakes. God knows I know that," she laughed bitterly. "I'm the last person in the world that would judge you, Honey."
Whitney raised tearful eyes to her mother's face. "I broke her heart, Mom. With Ethan's help."
Eve's brow knit in confusion. "I'm not sure I understand. What's Ethan got to do with this?"
Whitney couldn't look her mother in the eye. The shame was too great. "Ethan has everything to do with this, Mom. He and I.We."
A knock of the door startled them both.
And Eve groaned inwardly as she saw all avenues of communication with her distraught daughter quickly shutting down.
Whitney wiped her tears with the sleeve of her shirt carelessly. "I'll be in the bathroom," she explained before disappearing down the narrow hall of the apartment.
She raised on tiptoe to peer out the peephole. Groaning aloud this time when she saw who it was.
Julian.
She and Whitney were on shaky ground as it were.
Certainly, Julian's appearance could very well turn that shaky ground into quicksand.
Her mind told her one thing.
Don't let him in. Don't jeopardize this chance you've been given.
Her heart said another.
Something was wrong. So wrong.
He'd come to her.
She glanced behind herself once more. Satisfied, for the moment, to be alone.
And against her mind's protest.
She opened the door.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Kay stared through the window. Watching as Miguel held Charity in his arms. Offering her what little help he could.
Still Tessa slept. Looking so tiny and helpless among the tubes and machines.
Her heart twisted in sorrow.
No child deserved pain. Of any kind.
Chad's dark eyes narrowed suspiciously as she rubbed her stomach lightly. Self-consciously.
Something didn't add up here.
"How did you know where to find him?" he asked. Shattering the silence that hung heavily around them.
"I just knew," she murmured. Raising a shaky hand to the glass barrier that separated her from Miguel.
He sighed in resignation. Knowing that was all the explanation forthcoming from her lips. "Look.you've had a really long night. I think you should go home. Get some rest."
Her hand dropped to her side, and she turned to him with a thankful smile. "I think I'll do just that. He's where he belongs."
He didn't try to decipher the meaning of what she said. Just took her words at face value as he grasped her elbow firmly. Leading her away.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
"I still can't believe this is happening," Jessica said. Taking a sip of coffee from her mug and setting it down on the counter.
Sam raked a rough hand through his spiky hair. "I just hope the doctors can figure out what happened so they can help her."
Grace stared out the kitchen window. Her back to them. A chilling smile on her lips as her cold blue eyes regarded the figures 'hidden' in the bushes.
Tabitha.
And her little doll.
She laughed silently as Tabitha's body convulsed with shudders, and she scampered out of sight.
"Grace?"
Sam's voice directly behind her startled her. "Sam," she laughed in embarrassment. Raising a hand to her chest in alarm. "I'm sorry. What were you saying? I was a bit distracted. Thinking about Tessa," she said quickly.
Sam's seeds of suspicion dissipated. And he pulled her into his arms. Resting his chin atop her auburn head. "We all are. We all are, Grace. Jessica and I were going to go back to the hospital this afternoon. Would you like to join us?"
She made sure the smile was perfectly in place before she raised her eyes to his and answered. "I think that's a wonderful idea."
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Matthew snored softly. His fist clutching the blankets at his waist.
A tender smile graced her lips as she brushed his dark hair from his forehead.
Movement behind him caught her eye, and she looked up into the tearful blue eyes of her granddaughter.
"Mija. What are you doing up?"
Danielle's chin quivered as she stared at the floor at her feet. "I'm so worried, Nana."
Pilar ushered her out of Luis's old bedroom. The door closing with a tiny click. Into the living room. Where she took a seat. Pulling Danielle into her arms. And running her hands over her dark hair lovingly. "What if Tessa dies? Just like."
Andrew.
"Shh, Mija. You mustn't think such thoughts. Tessa is going to be fine. There, there. Don't cry," she soothed.
Danielle's shaky gulps of air gradually slowed. "But what about me?" she whispered. Tangling the rosary at Pilar's neck around her fingers. "What about Dad?" she sniffled. "What about Mommy?" she sighed. Her fingers stilling. Her breath evening out.
"You ask hard questions, Mija. Questions I can't answer," Pilar murmured against her granddaughter's soft, dark hair.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
A sliver of sunlight peeked through the slants in the blinds.
He followed the streaks. Stepping in and out of the shadows as he crossed the room to the tiny twin bed.
She lay there. Clutching the ragged teddy bear in her arms. Her shoulders shaking with sobs.
"Sheridan," he spoke softly. A hand on her shoulder.
The sobs ceased. But not the quaking.
"Sheridan.you have to let go. Andrew's gone. He isn't coming back. Ever," he drove his point home.
Blue eyes full of anger.pain.hurt.disgust.maybe even hatred turned on him. Unblinking.
He traced the tear tracks with his index finger. A frown marring his handsome face.
"Don't you think I know that, Luis?" she finally answered. "Don't you think I realize that that day.I killed my baby, Luis. I killed your son," she spat bitterly.
"It was an accident."
"Was it? Was it really? Or was it some sort of sick punishment for all the sins of the past? God knows I'm NO saint. Yeah.God knows. That's why he decided to rip my baby from my arms. That's why he."
"Sheridan," he ground out. Grabbing her forearms forcefully and hauling her upper body up against his. "Stop this!"
"Why?" she hissed. "Am I making you feel too much, Luis? Big, strong Luis. Too tough to grieve over his own son."
His jaw dropped open in shock. Each word jabbing angrily at his fragile heart. "Is that what you think? That I didn't grieve? I grieved, dammit!" he roared. Shoving her from his arms.
The wild look in her blue eyes inflamed him.
"Every day I grieve. Every day I mourn him."
"Really?" the question escaping her throat before she could halt it. "Do you really, Luis?"
"How can you ask such a question?"
The jagged edge of pain in his voice pierced her soul. But she persisted. The pain felt good. She welcomed it. It had been so long since she'd FELT anything. "You're the one that's always pushing me to move on. Forget Andrew ever existed."
"That's not what I'm doing, and you know it," he snapped.
"Whatever you say, Luis," she shrugged her shoulders. Uncurling her limbs and rising from the bed. Sweeping past him in dismissal.
"We don't have to forget him, Sheridan. We just have to let go. I've let go. Why."
"Why can't I? Why can't I let go of our son? Is that your question, Luis? I don't know. Maybe I'm afraid it IS going to be like he never existed. Maybe the guilt won't let me. I don't know, dammit."
"You have NOTHING to feel guilty about," he cried. Grabbing her arm with his hand.
She yanked at her arm. But he refused to let go. "Luis," she warned. "you let go of my arm, or."
Still he refused her.
"I hate you," she screamed suddenly. Her face red and angry. Tears coursing down her cheeks.
"Now, we're getting somewhere," he told her. His brown eyes bright as he pulled her closer. Wrapping his arms securely around her waist and refusing to let go.
"I hate you," she cried. Pounding on his chest.
"Why do you hate me, Angel? Why?" he said calmly. "Tell me," he urged as she struggled against him.
"I hate you because you weren't there. I hate you because you're stronger than me. I hate you because.I hate you because." her voice faltered. And the pounding stopped.
"Don't stop now. We're finally getting somewhere. Let it all out, Baby. Let it all out," he encouraged. Wiping her tears away with the pads of his thumbs.
"I hate you because I love you so much. So much it hurts sometimes."
He smiled slightly at the veracity of her declaration. Sometimes.the feelings were just too intense.
She tucked her blond head beneath his chin wearily. Clutching fistfuls of his shirt desperately. "I hate you because you were able to let him go. And I can't," she sobbed. Holding on to him for dear life. "I don't want to let him go, Luis. I don't want to let him go. I don't want to. Help me let him go, Luis. Please help me," she pleaded. "I don't know how."
He closed his eyes against her pain and kissed her temple. "I'll help you. I'll do whatever I can," he vowed.
He just hoped it was enough.