A/N: hey guys and girlie gogs yet again another installation from the fab.. two… yeah! Ra… umm…
So here is chapter two written by oregano. Its shorter than the first.. but really.. it should be that the first was longer than this because this is standard size – last one was longer cos I had to include stuff from the episode to set up background. Don't ask for more!
Love us. xoxox
Chapter Two: Jess
Jess leaned back on his chair and smirked.
This is going to be interesting.
"So, she's coming soon," he said suddenly, interrupting Rory as she recited lines from the play.
He realized that it had been a bad idea to do that from the look Rory gave him.
Wow.
"Jess, please. Focus. I know how much you despise verse, ambiguous comments, and anything remotely related to poetry, but this is important."
"He just blabbers on and on about things. It gets kind of old."
Well, that was just the best comeback I could think of. Really. See how smart and suave I am. I need to write that down and post it in my diary. Gee, while we're in the 's' section of the damned dictionary in my head, why not look up, 'stupid' as well? Oh, here it is: 'Stupid' ie. Jess' previous comment. Actually, Jess in general.
Rory sighed. "Do you know who you remind me of?"
"Kelly Osbourne? I hope not."
"Garfield."
Jess' eyebrow shot up.
Garfield.
Garfield?
"I hope you're talking about the President Garfield."
"Actually, I was thinking the cat."
"I remind you of a fat, orange cat."
I actually remind her of. A. Fat. Orange. Cat.
"A fat, orange, sarcastic cat."
Oh, well, that makes it all the more complimenting.
"You must be Jon, then. Although, may I make a small revision of your picture of me in your mind?"
Rory sighed again, "If I let you, can we get back to this?"
"Absolutely."
"Shoot."
"I may be Garfield the Fat Cat in terms of sarcasm, but I would like to call your attention to my physical aspects—"
"Hoo, boy."
"That cat is the exact opposite of me—physically: I have rock-hard abs, stunning features, and buns-o-steel."
Rory's face pruned up, "Gross!"
"You're picturing it already, huh?"
"Jess, let's just focus all our energies on Iago. Ooh, hey, Brabantio makes an appearance. How about that, huh?" Rory looked pleadingly at him, desperate to veer away from topic.
Poor Rory.
He let it go.
"Intersting. Brabantio."
"Very."
Can't. Help. Self. Must. Not. Say.
Hmm.
Well, actually, it's kind of witty…
"So, do I look sexy in your mind now?"
Oh, the look on her face was worth it. So worth it.
"I have a six-pack."
Oh, I'd just die of laughter, if it was possible. But first, I don't laugh. Second, Rory's looking at me like Norman Bates now.
Oh, yes. Othello.
The door jingled and in came Lorelai, in all her huffing greatness.
"Okay, I got them all: shrimp balls, egg rolls, meat rolls, fish balls, generally everything that has two 'l''s and an 's' at the end and still taste like food we would remotely consider consuming."
"Thanks, mom," Rory said. Then she turned her attention back to Jess, "Okay. Iago needs, no, craves attention now."
"Hey, you're probably related, huh, Jess?"
"I guess that makes us almost siblings then?"
Lorelai gave him a dirty look and started to take the food out.
Lorelai is just too easy to annoy.
"Rice?" she offered tersely.
"No, I'm keeping off them. Carbs are the enemy, you know. I have to maintain this body," he said, stressing the last words for Rory.
She made a face in return.
Two points: Jess.
"Damn, I forgot the chopsticks in the car. Chinese food's not fun without chopsticks. I'll be back, dah-ling."
Oh, hey, enter Holly Golightly.
And out she went.
"Hey, Jess?"
Uh-oh. Here comes the Speech.
"Yes?" he replied innocently.
"Could it be at least fathomable that you be more civil towards my mother? Because I can see her trying her best to not commit homicide."
Now, there's an interesting picture.
"You saw the vein in her forehead pulse, didn't you? Because that was funny."
"Jess…"
"Fine, fine."
The door jingled again, and Lorelai came inside with the chopsticks.
"Hey, Lorelai!" Jess greeted, startling both the girls.
Lorelai looked like a deer about to get hit with a Mack Truck, frozen to the spot.
Oh, Lorelai, just like Davey.
Rory looked at him with a glint of amusement in her eye. Slowly, she put Othello down on the table.
Thank God.
Lorelai walked over to them and set the food down in the middle of the table and the books.
Jesus. Her secret plan is so transparent. Even I know why she's here.
"So, what are you guys studying?"
"Oh, Roderigo just started blabbering about something or another."
"Jess hates Shakespeare," Rory explained.
"Hey, I have plenty of respect for the guy. The sheer fact that his work survived most of human evolvement is beyond me. I just don't like how he writes the lines like that. I mean, come on—just spit it out, Macbeth!"
Lorelai just sat there, obviously surprised at how much he had actually said in one breath.
Why is Lorelai like this? Why? She makes it all so easy.
"I hate double meanings," he summarized.
"Oh."
Rory suddenly started and grabbed Othello once again.
Damn. So close.
"Jess—focus!"
"My, my, that seems to be the word of the evening."
"Well, hostility and inattentiveness also seem to be making cameos tonight."
"Well, how 'bout that?"
"Jess…"
"Okay, okay, I'll focus!"
Jeez, when Rory gets going…
With a confused glance at the two, Lorelai slowly made her way to the counter, leaving the two to study.
After a few minutes, Luke came walking into the Diner, from God knew where.
"Jess!" he roared.
Jess rolled his eyes and raised them up to meet his uncle's.
Great. More of the stupid banter will surely ensue.
Stupid Luke Voice: Coffee is bad. Sleep with me.
Stupid Lorelai Voice: No, coffee is good! Okay, I will.
"What?"
"What the hell do you mean, 'What?'? Did you not notice Lorelai at all, over there, eating us out of our house and home?"
He turned and saw Lorelai, guiltily chewing on a glazed donut. His eyes traveled to the donut case, which was virtually empty, save for three.
"Luke, I'm studying, as you so forcedly asked me to do. Do I look like I have the face of my unborn Chinese twin smiling at the back of my head?"
Really. Do I?
"Well, your hair seems to think so."
"Lorelai…"
"Hey, I let you eat those without trouble," he said to Lorelai accusingly.
The things I do and the things I get in return.