A/N: Emjai – wow it feels good to be out of that toilet. I had this weird woman in the cubicle next to me who kept miaowing and barking… Anyhow – here you go! Here is your new chapter – please don't hurt me if it's bad! Go read! Go review! How are you oregano? Happy to see me again? (thanks for the axe by the way – the wound on my arm is starting to heal…)
Oregano – Nice refreshing feeling there, Emjai? Heh. I'll tell my Auntie Shirley to find another cubicle… she had a bit too much punch last time and she ran away. Thanks for finding her.
Chapter Eleven: Lorelai
Do you ever have those moments where you see someone and you look at them once and they seem normal.
But then this Goddamn scary horror music fills the air and you look at them again and..
THEIR HEAD IS ON FIRE!
Yeeeeeeeep that's right.
Jess' head is on fire.
Right now.
Uhuh.
That's right.
Oooon fire.
He must be hot…
Jess had finished talking about two minutes ago and was watching a frozen Lorelai for a response.
"Uh… Lorelai?"
Lorelai jumped, "Huh.. wah?"
Jess frowned, "Were you even listening to me?"
"Yes!"
He raised an eyebrow, "Fine, what did I say?"
"Blah blah blah ginger?"
Jess sighed in frustration and ran his hand through his hair, muttering to himself.
"The one time I actually… Nobody bothers to…damn society…"
See?
"Blah blah blah ginger."
Lorelai took another look at Jess.
Hey… no more fire…
Maybe I should give this kid a chance…
NAH!
Mmm but then again… he took all the trouble to come here…
"Look, Jess, Rory isn't here. But if you wanted to come inside, I sure as hell would be interested in what you have to say."
Jess made to speak but she butted in, "I promise this time I'll listen!"
Thaaaaaaaaats it… be nice to the young delinquent… who knows when he might just…
Implode.
Hey – cool mental picture.
"Actually, I think I'd rather stay outside."
"Come on! Inside is so much more comfortable!"
Let's go inside, let's go inside – in my kitchen! I know you want to but you can't say yes…
Oh dear god.
He nodded and Lorelai led him inside.
This could be seriously misconstrued…in a creepy Mrs. Robinson sort of way – mmm in need of a conversation stabilizer RIGHT NOW - - -
"Coffee?"
"Huh, you mean you can actually make your own?"
Hey there Sparky, when you suck up you don't insult the mother – believe me, I know.
"Yeah, well, when you wake up at three in the morning and you need coffee would you wake up Luke for some?"
"You did. Yesterday."
Well, can't beat that.
"Hmph… coffee?"
"Why not?"
The phone rang in the kitchen.
"Oooh, hey! That'd be for me – hold on just a second."
Rats! Just when this was getting good!
She ran inside and grabbed the phone.
"Tikki's home of free range chickens?"
"Why is he in our house?"
"Rory?"
"Why is he here?"
Lorelai scanned the room and peered outside the window.
"Where are you?"
There was a pause.
"I'm hiding behind a cluster of gnomes…"
"Ooh! Is the one with the earmuffs there?"
"Mom!"
"Sorry. So why are you hiding in Babbette's front yard? And more importantly, the ice cream better not have melted!"
"I… uh… well… I was crossing the street and I saw him talking to you and then you invited him in and I …I just…"
"Felt an urge to bond with the gnomes?"
"No! I just really can't talk to him right now!"
Lorelai frowned.
"Can't? Won't? Why? You two were pretty chummy before!"
Another pause.
"I just can't…"
"What's going on?"
"I…"
Jess came into the kitchen.
"You know, if making coffee is too difficult for you to do –I do work in a diner…"
Smartass.
"Go for your life, kid – only, make it strong! I'll be right back."
Lorelai darted up the stairs, clutching the phone in her hand.
She collapsed on her bed.
Man… exercise… darting…
Pain… breathing … ouch!
She heard a muffled cry, "Mooooooom! Moooooooom!"
Oh yeah! Troubled daughter.
"Hey there space cadet. So what problem is yours, Obi Wan?"
"If I spoke to him now… disastrous things will happen."
"This isn't a horror movie, Rory."
"Yeah, I know that, but … you wouldn't understand."
Uh huh.
"Try me."
"Well, I think that I'm in trouble. You see when I'm –"
There was a rustle and a crash, and then the line went dead.
Always at the crucial moment something cuts out! Damn technology!!!!
Mmmm decisions.
Kick jess out of the house - let Rory into the house.
Risk not getting coffee - receive vast amounts of ice cream…
Darn this one is tough.
She went back down the stairs to find Jess staring at a picture of Rory.
Cue misty edge of the screen and fluffy frank Sinatra music…
Doo be doo be doo… da da da deee da…
Jess raised a mug of coffee to his lips.
Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!
Screw the lovey dovey stuff!
Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!
She jumped the last three steps and grabbed her own mug.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah that's better.
Ooo wait.
My estranged child is left alone with a 'cluster of gnomes'…
Damn. I'm gonna have to do this.
This is going to be the hardest moment in my entire life.
She winced at the thought and then spat out her coffee
"MAN! Your coffee sucks!"
Hehehe, theatre is so cool.
Jess snapped out of his trance and turned to Lorelai.
"It's exactly the same as Luke's…"
She put a hand to her heart and pulled back dramatically.
"I think I would know, don't you? COME! We are off to Luke's!"
She seized Jess by the arm and dragged him out of the house.
Damn I'm good.
I should consider a career in movies.
That'd be so cool!
I'd make a ginormous amount of money and then be able to have a permanent coffee IV drip …
Hell… maybe I should do that anyway!
Rory is smart, she'd be able to figure out a way how to…
Mmmm coffee…
She marched Jess down the front lawn and onto the street, making idle conversation about Jess, coffee, Luke, coffee, Stars Hollow, coffee etc.
She put her arm behind her own back and gave her daughter a thumbs-up.
Ah the things I do for my daughter…
Sacrifice my coffee…
Sheesh, she owes me.
But what was up with her?
She felt a sudden breeze sweep her hair back.
Ah… feel that, my friends?
She stole another quick glance at Jess and watched him as he spoke.
It's the winds of change…