Emjai- hey guys and gals - another chapter by me :D i hope you all like it.. otherwise i'll just hide in my monitor .. (you know its surprising how easily i can fit in there... once you take all the other stuff out of course.... ) SO! i was fast, ay? :D well... we're almost done... anyone excited yet? :D....man i'm feeling the love here...oregano any words?

Oregano – Hi.  Well, it's 3:01am here where I am, and Emjai just finished writing.  And I just had this massive pizza.  Oof.  CHRISTMAS BREAK!  Who can say, "Woo-HOO!"?  I sure as hell can!  Check out my website, people!  Please?  www.geocities.com/galoogs  Thank you… Emjai, sorry for the shameless plug.  Okay, Luke chapter coming up next!  Not too sure when I can write it.. I'll try not to be so damn slow next time!  C:

Chapter Fifteen: Lorelai

"HELLO, and welcome to …

                        Lorelai Jeopardy!!!"

The crowd cheered madly as Lorelai was first seen crossing the stage, shouting.

"Hey ladles and jellyspoons!

Today we have FOUR contestants!!"

The crowd "ooh"'ed excitedly…

This rocks! My own version of Jeopardy!

"Please, give a warm welcome to our first contestant… RORY GILMORE!!!!"

Lorelai smiled as she saw her daughter appear behind her.

What are those things called anyway… you know.. the thing with the score… and the thing.. and the thing… you know! They stand behind them!!!

Pretty mini-me!

A voice over booms across the arena.

*Rory Gilmore, aged 16, is the only child of Lorelai Gilmore.

They are best friends and both enjoy eating, sleeping and talking!

Give it up for… RORY!!!*

The crowd goes wild.

I knew my baby would be on tv!!!!

Oh wait.

It's my game show.

…

I KNEW MY BABY WOULD BE ON TV!!

Lorelai smiled manically at the camera and shouted, "And here's our next contestant…. EMILY GILMORE!!!"

What the hell is my mom doing on my game show?

I thought I got to choose who came!

… I don't want to play anymore!!!

The voice over introduced Emily.

*Emily Gilmore, aged… what's that?....

aged 45-70?…riiiight…

aged 45-70, is the mother of Lorelai Gilmore!

They have a mother-daughter relationship and both enjoy bickering, whining and picking on other people!

Give it up for…. EMILY!!!*

I am sooo against this right now…

Lorelai pouted, but called on the third contestant, Sookie St.James/ Melville…

*Sookie St.James/Melville, aged 32 is Lorelai's work colleague!

They are best friends and both enjoy annoying Michele, drinking coffee and gossiping!

Give it up for… SOOKIE!!!*

Awwwwww soooooookie!!!! Okay, maybe this game rules!

"So lets meet our last contestant on Lorelai Jeopardy… LUKE DANES!!!"

*Luke Danes, aged 35, is Lorelai's….feeder? Keeper? Friend?

They are close friends and both enjoy food, making fun of Taylor and flirty banter!

Give it up for… LUKE!!!*

Woah woah woah.. flirty banter!! Sooo not true! We're just friends!!!

"Hey, ready for our first round:

A day of the year which involved the happiest moment of my life…"

All four contestants buzzed –

Luke, "What is 'the day Rory was born'?"

Sookie, "What is 'the day Rory was born'?"

Emily, "What is 'the day my granddaughter was born'?"

Rory, "What is 'the day I was born'?"

Wow they all got it right!

Maybe this is rigged…

"Is this rigged?"

The voice-over responded, "Yes."

Hmph.

"OKAY! Next question:

A man in his thirties, could be described as the love of my life…"

All four contestants buzzed –

Rory, "What is 'Luke Danes'?"

Huh?

Emily, "What is 'The Diner Man'?"

What.

Sookie, "What is 'Luke Danes'?"

What?

Luke, "What is 'me'?"

"WHAT!?"

Rory came out from her position and started to rub Lorelai's arm.

"Come on mom, you know it's true! You guys are perfect together.

Perfect perfect perfect perfect….

Love love love love love love…

Mom? Are you listening to me?

Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom?"

The room started to spin.  All that remained focused was Rory's voice calling her name…

"MOM!"

Lorelai jumped up.

Okay,

a) where is my game show

b) where did everybody go

c) why am I on the couch

d) was it all a dream

e) …do I love Luke?...

"Mom?"

Lorelai rubbed her eyes.

"Coffee, now. What time is it?"

Rory raised an eyebrow at her mother, "It's 10.30… I was going to let you sleep through until lunch-time but then I figured you'd get cranky at me later…"

"Mmmhmmm, true story…"

She stood up and walked into the kitchen, turning on the percolator…

Do I love Luke?

Nah.

We're just friends.

Right?

Love.. woah.. such a big word…

Wait a minute…

Love… love love love…

HEY!

"RORY! GET IN HERE!"

Rory timidly poked her head around the door, "Yeah?"

Her mother grinned and threw her hands in the air, "How was THE date!?!?"

They both giggled as they sat down at the kitchen table to discuss it.

"Well," Rory began, with a toss of her hair.

She learned that from me.. sigh.

"It started off… I don't know… really… weird.

Like, we were all stoic and –"

"We were all whowhatta?"

Damn smart kid with her long words… with one syllable…

Yeah.

She roamed around the room with her eyes, gesturing at nothing with her hands.

"… it wasn't… l don't know... like it usually is."

Lorelai smiled knowingly, "Ah… no witty banter about books and music?"

Rory's eyes widened as she nodded exasperatedly "No, NOTHING."

Lorelai stroked Rory's hand, "Ahhhh… not good."

"True story," Rory mumbled.

Her mother threw her hand off the table and gasped, "MY line!"

Rory shrugged, "sorry – sounded cool at the time."

"Fair enough," Lorelai nodded, "Really – I am super cool and I rule the land of cool-ness –"

"Stop."

"Okay."

"Me now?"

"Ok, shoot," she grinned.

"Well," Rory cleared her throat, "we got to this really fancy restaurant and I just felt totally out of place and I know he did too because he kept pulling at his collar"

Lorelai leaned forward in her chair, rubbing her hands together. 

"Woah woah woah – he was wearing a collar?"

"Yeah, he was all dressed up!"
She cooed as she brought her hands up to her lips, "Awwwwwwwww"

"I know!"

"Continue…"

"So everything just went wrong and it was just so … not us! And Luke's truck … went missing…"

"Ooooh no way!"

"I know – Jess just felt so bad and he was all upset that the date went so badly –"

"Awwwwwwwww"

"I know! So we just went home… but it was so nice…"

Lorelai frowned, "Better not have been TOO nice!"

Rory rolled her eyes, "mom!"

The perculator interrupted their conversation with a *ping*

Both women turned their heads to it and frowned.

Rory screwed up her mouth and looked from her mother, to the coffee, "Does it usually make a ping-y noise?"

Lorelai shook her head and chewed her bottom lip.

you know what's funny? When I went to Sunday school – ages ago – I used to think that the Golden Calf (you know – the one the Hebrews, or something, worshipped?) was a golden statue of a muscle in a leg!

True story!

It never really occurred to me that the Golden Calf was 'Calf' as in 'baby moo moo.'

I'm really in the mood for moo-moo…

Burgers!!! Covered in gold!!!

Or cheese.. which is close enough…

"LUKE!"

Luke groaned and picked up the coffee pot.

Will the gruff man in flannel please come to the customer service desk to pick up his lost items, including a 'sense of friendliness,' 'humanity' and 'humour', thankyou! Oooh by the way, ANNIE CAN I GET A PRICE CHECK ON A 'BAD SENSE OF FASHION'?

"Here, take your poison," he grunted and shoved the pot in her face.

Awww so sweet!

"Actually, I was after a cheeseburger…"

He rolled his eyes at her.

What, is that the theme of the day?

"Where's Rory."

Is that a question or a statement?

"Where do you think?"

"Ah."

"Yeah."

Seriously, how could I love a man who speaks in monosyllables?

Well, at least I'll be able to understand him…

Not that I love LUKE in particular… lots of guys are monosyllabic.  Like Silent Bob.  He's a quiet guy, hence the name.  Yeah.  Luke's not the only monosyllabic guy in the universe.

She glared at Luke's back as he made a new batch of coffee.

But I admit.  Silent Bob really isn't my type…