Chapter 4 - Saruman's Story
"Master."
"How many times must I tell you not to disturb me while I am looking at the Palantir?" Don't get me wrong, I'm normally very civilized. (Uh let me get back to you on that.)
"I'm sorry master. but this is very urgent."
"Nothing is as urgent to interrupting my Palantir gazing session!" the slave finally retreated. I turned back to gazing into the misty depths of the perfect sphere. My eyes sink in as images emerge from the mists (He's seeing things as per usual).
After a while (5 hours to be exact) I was interrupted by a scandal outside my window, I threw them open and shouted out to the crowd who had crowded around the harbor "Will you shut up!"
(We give a minute mourning for all the eardrums burst by Saruman's voice that day)
(Count 60 seconds)
"My lord," One of the peasants looked up, "the Queen is gone."
The Queen.Maria, my most prized possession, one whom I have traded my favorite Palantir for. is gone? (Ok, that didn't go very well.)
I stormed out of my Palantir gazing room, down the stairs and straight into Maria's room. It was empty, all the trunks were open and all her possessions were gone with it. (Hey, Maria is a smart woman she knows when she needs some money.)
I turn to see the trembling servants and stare at them. Soon all melts into puddles on the ground. (Face it, Saruman's eyes are almost as scary as that fiery one of Sauron.)
I catch up with the servant who had interrupted me earlier. I grab his arm "When was this? What happened? Where have they gone?"
The servant was trembling all over, "M. my lord, t. they've been gone ever s.since this. this morning. I. I was about to tell you but you.. were busy."
"FOOL!" I blasted and pointed my staff at him. Before I could utter a spell however, he melted into a puddle.
Sometimes, my own strength amazes me! (Sometimes your stupidity amazes even I, the author).
I stepped over the puddle and stared at the space where Aragorn had previously secured his ship. Some messenger of peace! (Yeah, I'd say) I stared at the crowd, who shrank back in fear (soon the land which Saruman ruled would turn into human puddle land) and uttered, in my most raspy voice (as if your voice isn't raspy all the time old man. ah I mean. ah.)
(Please kindly wait for 5 minutes until the author can get her hand back in order from all the evil Saruman planted in it)
(Count 300 seconds)
"This is WAR!" (Echo: war, war, war, and war.)
I soon gathered my fellow ruler (say it in an American accent as George W Bush said "evil- doer" and you get the dramatic effect) Boromir and told him what happened.
"Oh, that is most tragic, Saruman." Somehow he sounds very insincere (he's probably laughing with glee in my point of view)
I nodded.
"Oh, but Saruman! You must not let that fiendish little prince get away with this!"
I nodded again. "This is war!" I told him.
"War!" I stared as Boromir's eyes turned into heart shaped things and started drooling all over my new leopard skinned carpet. (Green peace people and author stares with awe). I snapped my fingers in front of his face. He snapped back.
"When? With who?"
I rolled my eyes and pulled my shark-skinned cloak (green-peace people and author's jaws hit the floor). "We're going to declare war against Trondor, and we're doing that as fast as we unite with all the other lords of Isilcynae."
Boromir suddenly landed his gigantic fist on my bear skin covered pinewood desk (green-peace people and author's eyes fall out). "We must gather all the lords at ONCE!"
I nodded, and together we set off to gather forces of Isilcynae in my gold carriage decorated with deer heads and ivory from the best elephants. (Green-peace people flee and author faints with terror.)
"Master."
"How many times must I tell you not to disturb me while I am looking at the Palantir?" Don't get me wrong, I'm normally very civilized. (Uh let me get back to you on that.)
"I'm sorry master. but this is very urgent."
"Nothing is as urgent to interrupting my Palantir gazing session!" the slave finally retreated. I turned back to gazing into the misty depths of the perfect sphere. My eyes sink in as images emerge from the mists (He's seeing things as per usual).
After a while (5 hours to be exact) I was interrupted by a scandal outside my window, I threw them open and shouted out to the crowd who had crowded around the harbor "Will you shut up!"
(We give a minute mourning for all the eardrums burst by Saruman's voice that day)
(Count 60 seconds)
"My lord," One of the peasants looked up, "the Queen is gone."
The Queen.Maria, my most prized possession, one whom I have traded my favorite Palantir for. is gone? (Ok, that didn't go very well.)
I stormed out of my Palantir gazing room, down the stairs and straight into Maria's room. It was empty, all the trunks were open and all her possessions were gone with it. (Hey, Maria is a smart woman she knows when she needs some money.)
I turn to see the trembling servants and stare at them. Soon all melts into puddles on the ground. (Face it, Saruman's eyes are almost as scary as that fiery one of Sauron.)
I catch up with the servant who had interrupted me earlier. I grab his arm "When was this? What happened? Where have they gone?"
The servant was trembling all over, "M. my lord, t. they've been gone ever s.since this. this morning. I. I was about to tell you but you.. were busy."
"FOOL!" I blasted and pointed my staff at him. Before I could utter a spell however, he melted into a puddle.
Sometimes, my own strength amazes me! (Sometimes your stupidity amazes even I, the author).
I stepped over the puddle and stared at the space where Aragorn had previously secured his ship. Some messenger of peace! (Yeah, I'd say) I stared at the crowd, who shrank back in fear (soon the land which Saruman ruled would turn into human puddle land) and uttered, in my most raspy voice (as if your voice isn't raspy all the time old man. ah I mean. ah.)
(Please kindly wait for 5 minutes until the author can get her hand back in order from all the evil Saruman planted in it)
(Count 300 seconds)
"This is WAR!" (Echo: war, war, war, and war.)
I soon gathered my fellow ruler (say it in an American accent as George W Bush said "evil- doer" and you get the dramatic effect) Boromir and told him what happened.
"Oh, that is most tragic, Saruman." Somehow he sounds very insincere (he's probably laughing with glee in my point of view)
I nodded.
"Oh, but Saruman! You must not let that fiendish little prince get away with this!"
I nodded again. "This is war!" I told him.
"War!" I stared as Boromir's eyes turned into heart shaped things and started drooling all over my new leopard skinned carpet. (Green peace people and author stares with awe). I snapped my fingers in front of his face. He snapped back.
"When? With who?"
I rolled my eyes and pulled my shark-skinned cloak (green-peace people and author's jaws hit the floor). "We're going to declare war against Trondor, and we're doing that as fast as we unite with all the other lords of Isilcynae."
Boromir suddenly landed his gigantic fist on my bear skin covered pinewood desk (green-peace people and author's eyes fall out). "We must gather all the lords at ONCE!"
I nodded, and together we set off to gather forces of Isilcynae in my gold carriage decorated with deer heads and ivory from the best elephants. (Green-peace people flee and author faints with terror.)