c-chan: So I finally got around writing chapter 4. Thanks to all those great people who submitted reviews! This chapter is just a filler to bring in Lina-tachi. I've already started on chapter 5, which is when everything is going to become clear to our heroes or at least to some...

Oh~! I'm not sure if I said this or not, but this is supposed to be TRAD coupling.

Disclaimer: Oh well… I don't own anything except the clothes on my back.

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Slayers: Balance

Chapter 4: Oi…

It was early morning; the town was not yet awake. A solitary inn stood at the edge of the town. A rather peaceful silence settled on it like silky satin, evoking a sense of calmness. Only the occasional clinking of metal against metal was heard.

"Gourry! That's my sausage!" A piercing yell was suddenly heard emanating from the inn.

"That's not true! You stole it from me!" An equally loud male voice countered.

Inside the inn, the self-proclaimed beautiful sorceress genius Lina Inverse was engaged in a rather fearsome battle with her loyal companion, Gourry Gabriev, while the faithful knight of Justice Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun and the reluctant chimera Zelgadiss Greywords sat nearby. Amelia watched on with concerned interest, whereas Zelgadiss sipped at his coffee nonchalantly. Knives and forks moved at the speed of light as Lina and Gourry fought to claim possession of the last sausage.

"Is that any way to treat a lady? You Jellyfish!"

"What lady? I only see a flat-chested imp!"

Right on cue, Zelgadiss' eyes opened wide as he grabbed Amelia by the arm and scurried out of Lina's line of fire. A crimson aura of ire sprung out around Lina as her eyes turned blood red with rage. 'Fireball!' had never sounded so sweet to Lina as she proceeded to fry her friend.

"That'll teach you from saying things like that", Lina snarled at her blackened protector.

"Lina-san, Gourry-san, would you guys stop it already?" Amelia said from under Zelgadiss. "Ano… Zelgadiss-san? You're a little bit on the heavy side."

"Oh sorry", Zelgadiss muttered as he stood up and helped the little princess up on her feet, all the while turning a red that rivaled Lina's eyes.

"My my, aren't we cheerful this morning?" A smooth, silky voice sounded from behind them. Zelgadiss twitched.

"Xelloss! What are you doing here?" Lina scowled at him.

Paying no heed to Lina's question, Xelloss reappeared behind Zelgadiss and Amelia. "Zelgadiss, how sweet. You're holding hands with the princess." Amelia and Zelgadiss looked down and stared. Indeed, Zelgadiss had managed to capture her hand in his own. A long second passed, then suddenly with the intensity of an electric jolt, they released their hands. Amelia flushed furiously. It had felt so natural, I didn't even notice. Zelgadiss blushed up a storm. I didn't even know I was holding her hand. Embarrassment gave way to annoyance, which in turn led to violent actions as Zelgadiss suddenly turned around and brought his fist to connect with Xelloss' head.

"Itaii… Zelgadiss-san, I didn't know you were into kinky things."

"Why… you…" Steam shot out of Zelgadiss' ears as Xelloss' words registered in his mind. He growled and took a step closer.

"Xelloss, that's enough. I doubt you came here just to tease Zel." Lina stepped in between them.

"Oh, but it's so fun!" A blur of movement and Xelloss found himself tangled in the fiercest headlock Lina could administer. "Lina!" He wheezed. "You're choking me!"

"Yea right. I'm doing this so you can't run away. We all know you don't need to breathe. Now tell me, what do you want?"

"What makes you think I want anything from you?"

Lina's fangs sprung out as she yelled into Xelloss' ear. "Because you never show up unless there's trouble brewing! That's why!"

"All right, all right. Let me go and I'll tell you."

Lina released him, shoving his face hard into the ground for good measure.

"Now speak." She glared at him.

By then, Amelia, Zelgadiss, and (surprisingly) Gourry had recovered from their respective states of embarrassment, anger, and shock and had gathered around to listen.

"Lina, I need your help." Xelloss put on his most sincere mask. "Someone's after me and I need your combined powers to protect me."

Three pairs of eyes stared at him incredulously. "Wow, if you need protection, then that person must be really strong", Gourry suddenly piped up. His three companions sweatdropped as Xelloss twitched.

Lina shook her head, "Why should we help you? What's in it for us?"

The trickster priest tilted his head and said, "How about your lives?"

Both Lina and Zelgadiss growled, "What did you say? Are you threatening us?"

"Oh my… I'm afraid that didn't come out right. Let me explain myself."

"You'd better…really soon." Lina cracked her knuckles while Zelgadiss tested the sharpness of his blade.

"Well…" Xelloss gave a dry chuckle. "An outworlder has landed in our world and she seeks to resurrect Shabranigdo."

"What does that have to do with you?" Amelia asked.

"Well, it seems like I'm the only one who knows where the remaining five pieces of Lord Shabranigdo are located."

"You?!" Lina, Amelia, and Zelgadiss screamed.

"Lina!" Gourry turned around and placed his hand on her shoulder with a panicked look.

"Yes, Gourry. Shabra…" Lina started to answer only to be interrupted by Gourry's next remark.

"What's Shabrabingo?"

"How can you forget AGAIN? He almost killed you!"

"Oh… the big red ugly guy?"

"Yes…" Lina sighed. Why do I even bother?

Xelloss cleared his throat. "Anyway, back to me… "

"Why would an outworlder want to resurrect a dark lord from our world?" Zelgadiss asked suspiciously.

"I'm not quite sure about her real intentions, but from what I've gathered so far, she seems to absorb mazoku's life energy to make herself stronger. Perhaps she wishes to resurrect the dark lord in order to absorb his powers.

"Are you sure about that?" Lina queried.

"My guess is as good as yours. I don't know, Lina."

"Also, why haven't you mazokus tried to resurrect him if you know where the remaining five pieces are?" Lina said.

"Well…Knowing where it is doesn't mean that we can. Besides, my master has other plans."

"What plans?"

"Yare yare… I am not allowed to tell you."

"Figures…" Zelgadiss scoffed.

"So what should we do?"

"You'll help me? I knew I could count on you!"

"She's agreeing because no matter what we decide, you'd just go ahead, ignore our decisions and tag along anyway, you fruitcake…" Zelgadiss mumbled.

"Aww, Zelgadiss-kun, you know me so well." Xelloss phased in front of Zelgadiss and planted a big wet kiss on his lips.

"Xelloss-san! What are you doing?!" Amelia gasped.

"Sore wa himitsu desu!" With that, the purple-haired trickster disappeared.

Several seconds passed as everyone stared at Zelgadiss, who had remained motionless after Xelloss phased out.

"Zelgadiss-san?" Amelia waved her hand before his eyes. The glaze-over look slowly faded as the chimera came back to his senses. He stared at Amelia's face and blinked, then promptly fainted.

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c-chan: There.. my attempt to be funny…