A/N: Ah, another sentimental, fluff-angst filled songfic from me! I'm using "Cry", this incredibly sentimental song by Mandy Moore that I fell in love with in our seminar in Caliraya. Ah…
Dedicated to Raf, to whom I owe all fluff and angst in my soul. I never saw you cry, but if I ever did, I'll never forget…
Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling, but the angst-ridden plot and pairing? Mine, all mine!
The song "Cry" belongs to Mandy Moore.
~*~ Cry ~*~
~*~ It is a strange thing to watch someone you love crying, it is bittersweet and painful at the same time. It is even more so, if you cannot approach them, and give them words of comfort… simply because he is who he is, and you are what you are ~*~
*I'll always remember*
Hermione Granger smiled and lifted her face to the disappearing sunlight. She needed time alone, to think, to write, to contemplate. It was a beautiful day, the edge of the fiery sun touching the lake, and a cool breeze rustling the grass, bringing about the scent of autumn. Hermione sat down on the soft grass, dipping her quill in the ink bottle beside her, touching it to the parchment, and preparing to write out her latest diary entry, by the dying light of the sun.
*It was late afternoon*
She suddenly paused in the middle of a sentence, distracted by a presence. Someone was there, in her spot by the lake… she was not alone.
*It lasted forever*
She dropped her quill onto the ground and stood up, frowning, with her parchment tucked under her arm. "Now, who could that be?" She walked to the edge of the bushes shielding her from view and pushed them aside. When she blinked and saw who it was, she gasped, her chocolate eyes widening in astonishment.
*You were all by yourself*
Draco Malfoy. Hermione frowned again. What's he doing here?! she wondered irritably. The sun was setting, throwing dark shadows past her, and she just couldn't help stepping out to see him.
*Staring up at a dark gray sky*
She stepped out of the bushes, curious to see what he was doing there, all alone… but then, whether it was a twist of fate, or she was simply careless, she stepped on a twig.
And maybe it was in her destiny, that Draco Malfoy would whirl around, and stare at her, revealing to that insignificant Mudblood all his deepest secrets.
*I was changed*
Hermione stared right back up at Draco, who was standing right before her, every muscle in his body tense, his eyes curiously bright. "Malfoy?" She whispered. But he didn't answer.
He continued to watch her, eyes shining, and a strange expression on his face, an expression that reached into Hermione's soul and clutched at her heart.
*In places no one will find*
"Is- is something wrong?" Hermione, risking it all, took one tentative step forward. Suddenly, Draco jerked away from her, as if startled awake. "Granger…" he whispered, in a voice hoarse and strange. "Go. Now."
Hermione turned as if to leave, but something stopped her, something she never expected to see… especially from this particular young man.
*All your feelings so deep inside*
"Malfoy-" Hermione began, but when Draco refused to face her again, she swallowed and tried again. "Draco…" She heard him make an odd choking sound, then he turned to her, unbelieving she dared to call him by his first name. "Draco, something's wrong." She shook her head, turning back into the old, bossy Hermione. "And I'm not leaving you until it gets solved, some way or another."
*It was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes*
"You can't help me, Granger. No one I know can." Draco began to speak, still in that choked voice, his face turned away from Hermione, toward the darkening sky. "You can't give me what I need."
Hermione sighed. "Stop the acting, Draco. Just tell me, what is it?" She walked closer to him, the bright red autumn leaves crackling under her feet. "What is-"
She broke off, too surprised to say anything more. What could stop such an outspoken witch such as Hermione Granger?
Simple. One tear. From the eyes of the one you would never expect to cry.
*The moment I saw you cry*
Hermione fell apart. There was no other way to put it, because how else would you describe the complete deterioration of one's confidence and composure? She fell apart, at the sight of that one crystal tear, in the silver eyes of the last person in Hogwarts you would ever expect to cry.
*It was late in September*
Hermione shivered as the wind blowing off the lake grew colder, as the sun's warmth diminished, as the hour grew late. "Draco… it's okay, don't…" She swallowed, looking for the right word, but failing miserably. "Please, don't… cry." Draco was silent, watching the lake ripple in the chilly September wind, watching the scarlet and yellow foliage flutter away from him, watching the autumn beauty through a haze of unfallen tears.
*And I've seen you before*
"Please tell me what's wrong… I won't tell Harry or Ron. I'm just…" Hermione looked into the distance, where the sky was dimming. "I'm just worried about you."
Inwardly, Hermione cringed. What are you telling him? This is Draco Malfoy! The one who infuriated you all throughout your school years, the one whose dearest ambition is to destroy you and all of your kind!
*You were always the cold one*
But somehow, Hermione Granger could not link that heartless, hostile, sneering son of Lucius Malfoy to the pale, somewhat pathetic and pitiful young man standing before her at that very moment, beside the lake, watching the sun go down. Though they were in silence, he wasn't pushing her away, or completely ignoring her, for every now and then, he'd turn and glance at her, through eyes filled with pain.
And that was what made Hermione stay by his side.
*But I was never that sure*
Hermione gulped and looked back at Draco, who was now looking up at the dark sky, waiting for the stars to rise. "Draco, it's getting late. Maybe… we should go back in. Is there anything you want?"
At those words, Draco turned to her, smiling weakly. "Oh yes, Granger. I want a lot of things. I want perfect grades, my own Quidditch team, possibly that nice new set of black and silver robes on Diagon Alley…" he coughed and looked away.
Hermione raised an eyebrow, completely unaware that Draco's next few words would probably break her heart. "And what else?"
*You were all by yourself*
Draco bowed his head, avoiding her gaze. "I have absolutely no idea why I'm telling you this Granger. You're beyond doubt the last person on earth I'd ever talk to… well, besides Potter, I guess." He shrugged. "I can't explain this… why I'm here right now, why I'm… crying. Or why I'm even talking to you in the first place."
*Staring up at the dark grey sky*
Then he looked up at her, clear silver eyes locking with puzzled brown. "I can't really explain." He repeated, holding her gaze fast.
"But then, I guess you just can't explain love."
*I was changed*
Hermione stepped back, stunned. "Wh- what?!" Draco sat down on the grass, twisting a buttercup around on its pale green stem. "See? You just can't accept it, either."
Hermione's thoughts were whirling. Maybe he's in love with another girl… yes, Parvati, most likely… and he needs my help. Oh, I see…
She looked down at the Slytherin seventh-year sitting at her feet. "Oh, I see. Well, Draco, who's the girl?"
Draco stared up at her in disbelief. "Sometimes, Granger, I wonder, how you can have so much intelligence, but so little sense."
*In places no one can find*
Hermione bristled. "Really now?! Well, Mr. I-Know-Everything, who is she?"
Draco closed his eyes.
"You. Hermione Granger."
*All your feelings so deep inside*
And at that moment, the old Draco, which had shone through for such a brief instant, flickered and disappeared, along with the last rays of the sun over the lake. Along with it, evaporated Hermione's control.
"Draco, please! Don't lie to me! You don't… love me. It wouldn't be true." Hermione was suddenly muddled, trying to comprehend that the same boy who had made her life a living hell was now offering to make up for it all. As she knelt beside Draco on the grass, Draco could see that her eyes were pleading. He faced her, eyes shining bright. "It's true. I knew you wouldn't believe me, and I knew you couldn't accept me."
He got up and dusted off his robes, evading her eyes, which seemed to tell him things he could not bear to see.
*It was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes*
He looked at Hermione, eyes dry, and seemingly cold again. "Forget everything, Granger. Forget this, the sunset, the stars, the sky." He waved a hand vaguely at the silent lake. "Forget today."
Draco turned away, leaving Hermione. "Forget my words, my tears…"
"Forget my confession."
*The moment I saw you cry*
Hermione sat and watched the tall, slender figure stalk towards the cold, stone building. She could clearly see his pale, blond hair, the dark green lining of his robe, his pale hands clutched into fists. But what she couldn't see, was the fresh tears sliding down his cheeks.
And Draco couldn't see her, but he recalled the worried expression on her face, the way she stepped towards him, curious and anxious at the same time. Then he realized something… she cared.
*I wanted to hold you*
"I just wanted you… to understand." He stood on the steps and watched the silent girl under the tree, sitting down and apparently staring at the lake, lost in thought. But he knew what Hermione was really doing... she was crying, too.
*I wanted to make it go away*
"I'm sorry… I really am." Hermione whispered, watching the stars above wink into life, one by one by one…
*I wanted to know you*
"It could have been perfect." Draco didn't move from his position on the steps, the wind fanning his hair getting frostier and frostier. "I could have finally known you well enough to understand. And you…" Draco's dusky eyes grew as cold as the biting wind. "You, Granger, you could have known me well enough to realize that I truly was in love with you."
*I wanted to make your everything, all right....*
Hermione hugged her knees. "All I really wanted to do, Draco…" She reached out and crumpled a small amber leaf, crushing it in her palm. "…was to offer you…" Overwhelmed, she put her head down on her knees.
"to offer you my friendship."
*I'll always remember...*
"I'll never forget, Granger." Draco murmured to himself, and to the pitiable figure in the distance. "The day I showed you my true colors."
*It was late afternoon…*
"Draco, I'm sorry…" Hermione was still huddled under the tree, and farther away, Draco was still watching her.
"I am so sorry."
*In places no one will find…*
He turned and walked back into the warmth of the castle, his jet black robes billowing out behind him. He turned and left her behind, but bringing with him a memory of that afternoon… when everything turned out wrong.
*In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside*
She sat there and listened to the leaves rustle past her, carrying inside her a painful fantasy of what could have been… and the bitter memory of what really was.
*It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes*
Two separate souls, that had touched for one brief afternoon by the lake, for one sad moment, a harsh reminder of how different they really were.
And, true as the leaves turn gold, the memory will stay with them forever. True as the leaves fall and die, they will never forget each other.
*The moment I saw you cry*