AN: Like all of my songfics, I happened across this song, fell in love with it and decided to write around it. Enjoy. Oh, and there's a certain line in this song that just struck me... I put it in bold... just wanted to share.
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling. Box Car Racer. I'm awed by the both of them.
Dedicated to: I've been thinking of someone to put into this blank little space. Than I realized that I don't need to.
There Is
this vacation's useless
these white pills aren't kind
Draco's lips were pressed together in a thin white line, and the bruise-colored bags under his eyes marked several nights of lost sleep.
"I'm supposed to be running away from my problems. I'm supposed to be dancing barefoot on some sandy beach on the West Coast. I'm supposed to be happy, damnit." he whispered as he counted the stars outside his bedroom window. To him, it seemed like they were becoming lesser as the nights dragged by.
"I'm not supposed to be thinking of her."
I've given a lot of thought on
this thirteen hour drive
There was nothing to do in his blank stone-walled room, no way to escape from the memories filling up his head and threatening to drown him in misery. No way out. Nothing to do.
But think.
And that hurt the most.
i missed the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
and slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
He missed her too much. And here he was, trying desperately not to think of her, but instead, having to cope with her on his mind constantly.
Trying to cover her up with the sands of time, but instead sitting back and helplessly watching it all blow away with his own uneven breathing.
i've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
the days have come and gone
our lives when but so fast
Whatever happened to her?
He didn't know now... but damn. He cared. And that was wrong.
He wasn't supposed to care. But he did. He wasn't supposed to think of her. But he did.
And he wasn't supposed to love her.
But he did.
And look at him now.
i faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
where i laid and told you but you swore you loved me more
He closed his eyes against the harsh twinkling of the stars outside and called it back, hoping the memory was still there. And yes, it was, ragged around the edges and patched up in some places, but vivid enough for him to remember
her soft breathing, and her bare skin against his.
his lips on her forehead and that contented smile of hers as she lay her head on his chest.
"I love you, Hermione."
"No. I love you more."
And now, as he lay on his bed and listened to the cracking of his heart against the cold night noises, he wondered... did she even tell the truth?
Because he knew he did.
do you care if i don't know what to say
will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
will i shake this off pretend its all okay
that there someone out there who feels just like me
there is
"I want to know if you're missing me too, Hermione." he whispered. "At least I know all my love for you wasn't in vain."
But his words fell upon silent stone statues and a cold glass window.
those notes you wrote me
i've kept them all
He thought of her letters, hidden in his desk drawers, all tied up with red ribbon and a Preserving charm. Her promises, secrets, and confessions, her declarations of love and adoration forevermore.
And Draco gripped the sheets and prayed that she hadn't lied.
At least not in her letters.
i'll give a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
with every single letter in every single word there
will be a hidden message about
a boy that loves a girl
"I loved you." he told the darkened room. "And I still do. Even though I know it's wrong."
"I hope you read between the lines, Hermione. If you do, then you would have figured out by now, from the letters I've sent you over the years... that I've loved you ever since."
do you care if i don't know what to say
will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
will i shake this off
pretend its all okay that there's someone out there who feels just like me
there is