If Only
"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs,
"The bark on the tree was just a little bit softer."
While the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely,
He cries to the moo-oo-oon,
"If only, if only."
If only. Ginny Weasley sighed, leaning against the frigid stone wall. The cold sank through her ragged clothes straight to her skin. If only I were more cautious. If only I ran faster. If only I were braver. The "if only"s ran endlessly through her head. Then maybe I wouldn't be here.
Here. The sixteen year old looked morosely at the prison cell she was sitting in: the dank, dripping ceiling covered with brown moss; the unforgiving, icy floor; the steel bars forming one of the walls, impossible to see beyond them for the darkness. She was in Azkaban.
Time didn't pass normally here- the cyclical rising of the sun and the moon blended together into an eternal blur in which Ginny was lost. But at least there weren't any of the dreaded Dementors sucking out her happiness or her soul. They had all been enslaved (though many believed they willingly volunteered) by Voldemort, to track down those who still hid.
Voldemort had been in complete power for nearly a year now. He had murdered Albus Dumbledore in his sleep fifteen months ago, and it had all gone downhill from there.
Hogwarts had been immediately infiltrated in Ginny's fourth year, the majority of the staff killed. Voldemort left only two teachers alive: Hagrid, safe with Olympe Maxime in the Netherlands, and Snape.
Ginny's lip curled nastily in memory of her former Potions teacher. She could see the slimy man once again in her mind's eye, cowering before the Dark Lord, begging his forgiveness. She remembered the burning hatred in his black eyes as he killed Colin and Dennis Creevey. The green flashes of light and the cries for mercy had been burned into her mind forever.
She remembered how the majority of the Slytherins had immediately surrendered to Voldemort's servants, and how they had turned on all the other Hogwarts pupils. Nearly all the Hufflepuffs were either taken prisoner or killed immediately. She remembered the young children screaming, the older ones attempting to protect them and getting themselves murdered in the process.
Hermione was left alive as well as the twins, and they located Ron and Ginny in the chaos. The five banded together to make their way out of Hogwarts, stumbling upon Neville and helping him along. As they ran together out of Hogwarts, stumbling through the screaming and fire, they had all looked for Harry, but he was nowhere to be found.
They had gone into hiding then, deep in the endless Forbidden Forest. Not doing any magic, for risk of detection, they built themselves a humble existence. Every week, one or two of the refugees (except Ginny, for the others claimed she was too young) would scout out new threats and find more food.
George and Fred had gone out one day. They never came back.
The loss of the twins served as a harsh reminder of mortality and the danger the four remaining rebels were facing. Ginny, Hermione, Ron, and Neville started training, building their strength and resolve over the course of the next year.
But now, she was always alone. The loneliness was driving Ginny mad, the utter feeling of being lost. She suspected the only reason she hadn't been killed off yet was that everyone had forgotten about her.
Ginny's stomach whined sadly. She remembered the small cup of water she had received yesterday, the only thing she had consumed in the past three days. She moaned, clutching her throbbing head. It felt like someone had released an errant Bludger into her brain.
Her whole body pulsed with thin blood, devoid of needed materials. She hadn't eaten in…Ginny glanced half-heartedly at the tallies on the wall of days she had been in the cell. The marks that she had given up on making so long ago. It had most likely been a week, or more, since those slices of hard bread.
She remembered reading something once, a book about human survival. It claimed that the average human could live up to thirty days without food and still subsist. Now, on the verge of starvation, she concluded that the study was probably made by some foolish idiot who had never even experienced hunger.
For she was dying. She knew it. Ginny could feel her body weakening, her heart pounding slowly, as if it knew there was no purpose in its task. Her hands were always shaking, out of frailty and cold. The girl's fragile skin bruised easily; she was black and blue all over. Her ribs jutted horribly out of her sides. Her once luxurious, bright hair now grew brittle and dark with grime. The clothes lay in tatters on her body. It grew hard to stand up and walk the short distance to the other side of her prison.
So instead of walking, instead of thinking about her present situation, instead of dreading the future…she remembered the past.
***
Ron looked over our group, his mouth set grimly.
"We are all aware that there is some new danger in the Forest. We have all seen the tracks of blood, heard the cries in the night. Unfortunately, we can only spare one person to go patrol and determine what it is. We need all others to help insulate the house…it's getting colder, and we won't survive the winter without the extra warmth. Let's decide who will go scout," he stated. Neville fidgeted. Despite all of our self-training, he was still too frightened to go alone.
"I will," I proclaimed in a strong voice, pushing my shoulders back and raising my chin. I knew they would never let me go; they were all too protective of me. But I could still try.
Hermione turned on me, her eyes worried. "Ginny, no. You don't know, you can't know of the danger you could be putting yourself in-"
"But I do!" I interrupted, my own eyes flashing. "I have gone through just as much as you have, and I can protect myself just as well as you can. When will you let me patrol?"
"Not until you are never!" Hermione retorted. For the past few months, she had been the mother of the group, trying to protect us all, but especially me.
My heart burned with anger. It was so unfair! I knew just as much as they all did, maybe more. They would let Neville, little, scared Neville, go face the new monster, but not me? I glared at Hermione and Ron.
"Fine, then. Fine. You go," I snapped, turning on my heel. I walked out of our little house, and sat in the "backyard," a small clearing in the leaves. My hands clenched and unclenched in fury. I could help them. I could do more than scavenge for water, more than patch up the roof. I was strong; I was brave. I could help.
I saw Hermione walk out of the hut out of the corner of my eye. She headed away from me, in pursuit of the threat. I heard Ron and Neville clanking around loudly inside, getting our makeshift tools together.
I began to walk away. I had to clear my head.
And then I heard something else.
Rustling. In the brush, maybe fifteen feet away. Someone was there.
I stood up quietly, making sure that the two boys inside didn't see me. I crept silently through the brush, gaining speed, toward the sound.
Then, voices.
"It's near here, then? The brats' hideout?" I went closer, looking through the leaves, leaning on a branch. Still not able to see, I put more of my weight on the branch, tilting forward…
CRACK.
The branch split neatly in two. I tumbled forward through the foliage, completely off balance, falling right at the feet of a thin man, with black hair, wearing torn grey robes. Next to him was a tall woman in robes matching the man's hair. He stared down at me, an evil looking grin spreading on his face, like a wolf that has just had his meal given to him on a silver platter.
"Well, well. What do we have here?
***
Ginny groaned in a sudden burst of pain, grabbing her stomach. It soon subsided, and she took to staring into the consuming darkness beyond the bars of her prison. She always wondered what lay there. Could it be more cells just like hers, identical rooms of misery in an endless hallway? For all she knew, it was a pit of dragons…or Puffskeins, for that matter. The desire to know was driving her crazy.
"Hello, little girl," a rasping disembodied voice suddenly whispered. She jumped, her heart starting to pound.
"Who's there?" she asked in a quavering voice, rough with disuse.
A face appeared, peering at her from behind the bars. Mostly shadowed in darkness, all Ginny could make out was a pair of the telltale red eyes of the new Azkaban guards. Not beasts, though not quite human either, they were as insane as those they stood watch over.
"Shh, yes, quiet, see? The clock goes ticktock, and the carousel spins. Knives are in the cupboard, always have been, always will be. You know, our prison isn't on the outside…" The thing emitted a sound that was a mockery of a giggle. Breathing hard, Ginny scrambled to the far corner of her prison, not entirely sure what this creature was capable of.
"No, it's not the bars, my sweet!" The voice faded as it moved away. "Not the bars…"
***
Terror enveloped me as I looked into the merciless green eyes of the man smirking above me, until, my mind finally kicked in.
Using my fairly new strength, I vaulted myself up and started running, running in the opposite direction of the house. Leaves crunched under my feet, branches whipped at my face, leaving stinging marks. I blindly ran, vaguely hearing the pounding footsteps of the strange man and woman behind me. I just knew that I had to keep the others safe, lead the pair away from Ron and Hermione and Neville…
Suddenly, a branch- no, that was no branch, it was a snake- twisted out around my ankles. Unwillingly shrieking, I plunged to the ground, my hands held out just in time to break my fall. A sharp pain shot through my leg, but not from my plummet to the ground. I looked down just in time to see the black snake slither away. My naked ankle had three tiny drops of blood on it, welling from the bite.
I attempted to stand up, to keep running, but my vision grew hazy, black spots appearing and growing before my eyes. My head spun in dizziness.
"Take her," I heard, just before I slipped into unconsciousness.
***
A scream pierced the air. Ginny flinched away from the harsh sound. It came from a nearby cell on her left, no further away than three down. She had been hearing a lot of screaming and crying lately, signs of the prisoners slowly going mad from what they had been through.
And she knew she wasn't far off from that state. Not only was her body deteriorating, her mind was too. She thought she had seen her mother a little while ago, her arms out to hold and comfort the young girl. Then Molly Weasley had morphed ungraciously into Harry Potter, the boy Ginny had first fallen in love with in her first year. Looking like he did then, with his scraggly black hair hanging over his scar, and his mouth quirked into a familiar smile, he had beckoned to the hallucinating Ginny. But when she had started to crawl toward him, his face twisted into a statement of agony, of ultimate torture. He looked straight at the girl with his beautiful emerald eyes, now clouded with pain, mouthing the words, "Why did you let them do this to me?" before disappearing altogether.
She had screamed then too, screeching like the other prisoner just did, because she understood that the innocent boy she had seen wasn't the Harry she knew anymore; it wasn't the Harry who was now roaming the world.
***
I woke up on the floor in a white room. Completely white, blindingly white, except for two things. At the other end of the chamber was a black chair, and sitting in that chair was the man who had captured me.
I scrambled backwards, trying to get away from him and attempting to find an exit.
"You can't escape, Virginia," the man remarked in a quiet voice. My head snapped up.
"How do you know my name? Who are you?" I tried to stand up, but my legs buckled and I collapsed back to the ground.
The man gazed at me with penetrating eyes, his face twisted into a statement of mock-hurt. "Why, Ginny, don't you remember me?"
I stared right back at him. Remember him? Did I ever know this man? I examined his face, curiosity overtaking me.
He was fairly handsome once I really looked at him. He was probably no older than seventeen or eighteen. His chin-length black hair framed his face nicely, and his green eyes met mine with amusement. Something was nagging at me. I did know this young man…but who exactly was he?
"Let me help you," he said wryly. Lifting a hand, he pushed several strands of hair away from his forehead. I gasped, my heart leaping into my throat. For there, on his forehead, was a lightning bolt scar.
I choked on my own breath, my hand covering my mouth in astonishment.
"Harry," I whispered, my mind whirling. Harry grinned, a poisonous smile full of malice.
"So you do remember me! How sweet."
"But…but…where are your glasses?" I asked dumbly, still in shock.
"Contact lenses, dear. Really one of the more useful Muggle inventions." I shook my head helplessly.
"Wha…what are you doing here? What happened?"
He shrugged. "Not so complicated, really. Voldemort," I flinched at the long-dreaded word, "found me, captured me back at good old Hogwarts when everyone else left me there to die. Brought some wisdom into my addled brain, made me see the truth, the light, if you will. And I came to my senses, and found what I had been searching for all my life, what we all truly desire in the end." A strange light came into his eyes. "Power."
I felt faint. This couldn't be happening. Not to me, not to the world. For if Harry had turned himself over…we were all truly, truly doomed.
"Now," he said serenely, leaning forward slightly, resting his hands on his knees, looking down at me. "I need some help from you."
I looked at him warily. "What do you mean?"
"Tell me where your friends are. If you tell me now, with no resistance, I might not even hurt them. If you tell me now, I might even let you live."
"Never!" I snarled, my lip curling up in disgust. How did this imitation of a human being ever expect me to betray all that I had left in my life? The only people who had stayed with me, taken care of me…I felt suddenly guilty for being so rude to them lately. They were only trying to protect me from what was happening now.
"Fine, then," Harry remarked, not even looking surprised. "I guess I'll just have to take it out of you."
I braced myself for the pain I knew was coming.
He sat down on the ground next to me. I tried to back away. He leaned in close. My heart skipped a couple of beats as my brain struggled to understand the situation. And then our lips met.
I had hoped for, wished for, pictured this kiss so many times in past years, the sweetness and beauty and peace that it would bring, but it ended up being unlike anything I could have ever imagined.
His rough lips tore at mine, an assault on my face. He tasted of bitter spices and dead ashes and smoke. One arm snaked around my waist tightly, pulling me closer, as the other hand pressed against the back of my head. The world slanted crazily as I finally melted into the hard, unforgiving kiss, my mind blissfully blank, heat replacing the earlier shivers. Then, just as soon as it had started, the moment my mind began to come back to me, the kiss was over. Harry pulled away.
I stared at him for a moment as he got back into his chair. I stared at his slightly flushed face, his cocked eyebrow, his smirk…
That sneer he held on his face brought me out of whatever trance I had gone into, as I remembered that this wasn't my Harry, the Harry I had fallen in love with so long ago. This…this was a monster.
And I felt nauseated, repulsed by what had just happened. I felt disgusted that I had allowed him to touch me in such a personal way. I felt raped. I looked up at him, hate in my eyes.
"What the fuck was that supposed to do? Make me succumb to you, weaken me in some way? Ha!" I snapped. And as he continued to look unfazed, just staring at me, I understood that he had succeeded. I did feel weaker all of a sudden as I grasped the fact that he had power over me, power to empty my mind and make it his. And he knew it.
We sat there for I don't know how long. I looked at the white floor the whole time, refusing to meet his persistent gaze. Until he finally spoke.
"Do you wish to reveal anything yet?" I ignored him. He rightfully took that as a no.
Out of nowhere, invisible hands slammed me up against the wall, and held me there. My extremities were pinned- I couldn't move. I gasped, all the wind completely knocked out of my lungs. And when I looked up, he was standing there.
"I do hope you know, Virginia, that I am willing to wait. Willing to do whatever it takes to get the information out of that cute little mouth of yours." He kissed me swiftly on the lips as I struggled to get away. He frowned and playfully shook a finger at me.
"That's a no-no! No getting away, I thought we made that clear!" And then Harry slapped me full across the face.
My head snapped to one side as I muffled a sob, my cheek stinging bitterly. He came forward, with his mouth next to my ear and his vile hands on my shoulders.
"I had hoped you knew I would not stop at the thought of mere violence," he whispered. A whimper broke out of my lips, and I could feel him smile. He backed away.
He stood across from me for a minute, the tall and regal king looking down on the lowly slave pinned against the wall. He held his hands out. Green fire shot from his fingertips.
I squeezed my eyes closed as I saw it coming straight toward me. And it struck.
Endless cords of searing fire wrapped themselves around my arms and legs, lifting me up into the air, dangling me like a broken doll. For a blessed moment, I couldn't feel a thing. But then, I definitely could feel it. I could feel it eat into my flesh, slowly…biting and biting and chewing and gnawing and oh it hurt so, so bad and burning and blistering and boiling the awful, awful sizzling echoing in my ears my body encased in fire and through it all I could see him smiling and my mind went blank again and I think I screamed and then it was dark.
***
Hot tears rolled down Ginny's hollow cheeks in remembrance. One finger traced the red scars that never healed and curled around and around her limbs, seeming to spiral into nothing. Her sudden wild laughter ricocheted off the walls, reverberating back into her ears. She whimpered in terror of the echoing cackles. Grasping her legs, pulling them to her chest, she rocked back and forth, gently singing to herself.
"His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad, his hair is as dark as a blackboard. I wish he was mine, he's really divine, the boy who now works for the Dark Lord."
***
I woke up hours, days, maybe weeks later, sprawled ungraciously on the floor of the little white room. And Harry was still there. The fire was gone, but still it burned. I didn't move for fear of more pain.
"Poor darling." The intense voice pierced my skull. I moaned as I tried to turn my head to look at him. "You got a boo-boo. Want me to kiss it better?" I blinked furiously, trying to open my mouth to form words.
"Don't – you – dare," I hissed, flinching back.
"I guess all the fire didn't help to change that stubborn mind of yours. That's very rude of you. The spell took me a long time to master and is quite tiring. I had to go take a nap after I performed it on you." He shook his head at me as if to scold me, a vicious look writhing in his emerald eyes.
No, no no! I screamed in my head. No more. I can't take it! And I knew deep down that if he hurt me any more, I would have to tell him everything. Just to make him stop.
He obviously knew this too, for he had begun to raise his hands to perform the fire spell again, but changed his mind, frowning as if to say, "Too easy." And he disappeared.
I knew he would be back, so I didn't attempting to escape. Trying desperately to ignore the agony that threatened to cripple me forever, I moved myself to a sitting position, leaning against the still immaculate white wall.
I cursed to myself silently as he appeared again in front of me, this time holding a tall clear glass of water. Kneeling down, he handed it to me.
I glared at him. Did he take me for a fool? There was obviously something in it, some kind of potion. He half-smiled, understanding my caution.
"I could have drugged you while you were unconscious. Why would I wait until you're awake and fighting to do so?" I had to admit, this was reasonable. I took the glass- the bitter cold of it stung so much against the rawness of my hands- and took a sip. The pure water rushed down, bringing instant relief to my parched throat.
Knowing it was safe, I quickly drank it all while he just stared at me, a contemplating gaze. I set the glass down, barely noticing as it disappeared. I met his eyes, brown on green. I wondered why he was looking at me like that.
"God, Weasley. You're beautiful, you know that?" Harry said softly. A laugh slipped out of my mouth.
"Do you think I'll fall for that? You're not so charming, Potter, that you can torture me and have me believe you on that one."
"I don't expect you to believe me. And my torturing you has nothing to do with it. I need information. That doesn't stop me from thinking you're appealing to look at." I turned my head away, sickened that this fiend thought I was pretty.
"I've always thought that, you know. Ever since you first came to Hogwarts." This piqued my interest a slight bit. Back when he was good, he still…but no. It was probably just something he was making up now, to trick me…but what if it wasn't? "Even if I didn't love you the way you did me, I always believed you were an amazing girl."
He was getting to me, and he knew it. He was charming, his voice deep and soothing, trying to lull me into a false sense of security…I shook my head violently to clear my clouded thoughts.
"If you came to me, we could be together forever. I could give you power you never dreamed of. Power that you've never had, being the youngest in a family of so many brothers. You could show them what you're really made out of, who the real Ginny is!" He held out his hand to me, as if offering peace and plenty. I spat straight into it.
"Don't call me Ginny, you traitor." Surprisingly, he threw back his head and laughed a laugh so devoid of joy it gave me chills.
"Me? A traitor? What about you? You and Ron and Hermione…bloody awful excuses for friends! You left me to die on my own back at school, only thinking of your own safety!" And though for a moment I thought he was just trying to trick me again, I saw genuine hurt deep in his eyes. "After all I've done for all of you! Saved their lives countless times, saved you from certain death!" I flinched. He sighed loudly.
"I saw you all run out of Hogwarts together. I saw it from the Astronomy Tower, where Lucius Malfoy had bound me with vines of thorns and was systematically breaking every bone in my body, while Voldemort stood by and laughed!" His voice gained volume as he spoke, until he was shouting in my face, his cheeks bright red in anger. "And did anyone come to help me? Did anyone come to save the Boy Who Lived, the boy that nearly destroyed the Dark Lord for the world multiple times, the boy who only thought of others and never himself?! No! NO ONE!" He yelled. I stared at him in abject terror. I had never heard him yell before, not like this.
He took a shuddering breath, and ran his fingers back through his hair. Then he seized my wrists, dragging me close to him. I strained to get away, but his grip was firm, and his voice quiet.
"You did this to me, Ginny. You and Hermione and Ron and Neville and the twins and Dumbledore and everyone in the damn world. It's your fault I turned out like this. For if you had looked just a little bit harder, paid a little more attention to the screams, just looked up on your way to safety, you could have saved me. And since you didn't bother, I am what I am today. And don't you curse me for it. You made me this way." He let go of me, stood up, and walked to the other side of the room, his back to me.
My mouth was hanging open in shock. I did do this to him. We had abandoned him back there, expecting him to prevail as always. But he was only a boy, not a strong superhero, not invincible and immortal. He was only a boy.
I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. "I…I'm sorry, Harry," I said quietly. Without turning around, he answered me.
"It's too late for your apologies. I'm a different person now. I'm not a scrawny little child anymore, innocent of the workings of the world. I don't want an apology." He turned around and glared at me, his eyes burning. "There is only one thing I want. And that's for you to help me find your friends."
"If you want the information so badly, why don't you use Veritaserum or Imperio or the like? Why wait for me to tell you of my own will?" He laughed quietly.
"A few reasons. One, Veritaserum only allows you to tell us where your hideout is. You don't know yourself how to get from here to there, as you don't know where you are now, so what is the point of that?" I nodded carefully. "Two, the 'Forbidden' Curses? They're gone. It was our dear friend Dumbledore's final gift to the world when he died, to destroy them with the last of his power. They're completely ineffective." He swooped in on me, like a bird on its prey. "So you see, I need you to help me all by yourself." He patted my head like I was some dog. "Can you do that for me?" I shook my head quickly, all traces of earlier tears gone. Closing his eyes, he rubbed his temples slowly with his fingers.
"Ginny, I'm going to get it out of you sooner or later. And if it's later, your pain will last longer, slowly driving you mad. Nobody wants that! And when I eventually find them, I will punish them for your lack of cooperation."
"You'll never find them! I'll die before I tell you!" I cried.
"That can be arranged." An icy hand gripped my heart. I stared at him desperately, at his jet-black hair, nonchalant stature, and empty eyes. And then I realized who he reminded me of, someone in my past long ago, who I had all but forgotten. The first person I had ever thought loved me. The first person that ever tried to kill me. Tom. Harry had turned into Tom. A tear slid down my cheek.
"But you can't kill me! You won't be able to find them without me!" Desperation was laced into my words.
"Actually, I can kill you. Very easily at that. And then, all I'd have to do is obliterate the Forest to find them. I haven't done so yet because I like all the nice little creatures so very much, but I'll do what I have to do." He shrugged.
I was speechless. Nothing I did now meant a thing to anyone. After Harry had tortured me to death, he would just find my friends anyway.
As if reading my thoughts, he continued, "So you see, there is no point in struggling. It would just be a good life, completely wasted. And like I said before, if you tell me now, I'll let everybody live. But if I have to go through extra trouble to find them, I promise you that I will kill them all with as much pain as possible." And I knew he wasn't kidding.
"If I tell you now," I said carefully, "You'll let us go free?" He chuckled and my heart sank.
"Go free? Of course not. Stay alive and healthy and join me in my hunt to destroy Muggles and Mudbloods everywhere? Yes." He looked thoughtful for a moment, then continued, "Though possibly not the Mudblood Granger. She would have to prove to me that she was worthy." I felt absolutely nauseated as I thought over my terrible options.
"Harry, your own mother was Muggle-born! How can you betray her like that?" I asked him, hoping to hit the right note. He merely shook his head.
"My mother was stupid and a fool and she's dead."
"Your mother is the only reason you're still alive!"
"And you think I'm grateful for that?" he exclaimed. "Do you think I would rather be alive and knowing that the only people I ever loved betrayed me, or be dead and calm and peaceful in my grave?" He stopped for a moment to gather himself. "Betrayal is the worst possible thing one human can do to another. Love turned to hate. It makes you feel so alone in the world, so desperately, completely, utterly alone. And I felt that. But then, Voldemort held out his hand to me, offered me more, offered me a life where no one could ever betray me again. So, I rightfully believed him, and here I am."
I felt limp. I knew he was breaking me, knew he was getting under my skin and peeking around and driving nail after nail into my heart. It hurt me to see him like this…despite everything that had happened, though it sounds ludicrous, I still loved him. I thought he could be changed back to what he was before, but I couldn't do it myself. I looked up.
"All right, Harry Potter. You won't hurt anyone? I'll tell you where they are."
***
Ginny cradled her head in her hands as she cried, and as she tried to forget what happened after that, as she tried to remember her former innocence and trust.
But it was gone forever.
***
And quicker than I could understand at that confused moment, Harry snatched my arm, and we Apparated out, ending up where I had first tumbled down at his feet in the Forest.
I fell to the ground in shock and disorientation. As I looked up, I saw that Harry and I were not alone. Five others were there, dressed in black robes with hoods pulled down far over their faces. All were armed with wands.
I stood up shakily, and turned to Harry.
"You said you weren't going to hurt them!" I protested. If he didn't deny that he was going to harm anyone, I would let him kill me before I lead him to them…
"I'm not. But if they fight, a Stunning Spell might be in order," he replied.
I didn't believe him. Maybe, if I took him to the wrong place, and he didn't try anything, then I would take him to the hideout. Then I would feel I could trust him a bit more.
"This way," I murmured, and headed off in the opposite direction of where I knew my little hut lay.
An awful pain shot through my head, reverberating throughout my skull.
"Ow!" I cried, holding my hand to my forehead. I could hear Harry laughing behind me.
"No use lying to me, Ginny! I put a spell on you while you were unconscious. No lying or you get an itsy pain in that cute head of yours. And I promise you, the more you lie, the worse it will get. Might eventually explode. I wouldn't know myself."
He was smart. Smarter than I had accounted for. With a shudder, I turned around and headed toward the place I'd lived for nearly a year. This time all six of them followed.
Each step that I took was agony. Not physically, but mentally. Maybe I knew deep down that Harry hadn't been telling me the truth, and had no thought of my safety in mind. But still, I kept going.
After a minute which seemed like an hour, I came to the hut. I pointed to it, and said miserably, "There you go." Looking back at Harry, I saw a slow smile appear on his face.
"Call them out," he ordered. Not really thinking, my relief at being back home overwhelming, I did as he said.
"Hermione! Neville! Ron!" I called excitedly. They must be so worried about me. "It's Ginny!"
Neville rushed out of the house. Good, little, sweet Neville. Always trying to help.
"Ginny!" he yelled. He rushed to me and gave me a huge hug, squeezing tightly. I gasped in pain as he touched the stinging scars. He heard my sharp intake of breath, and stepped back. He gasped himself.
"What happened to you?" he asked worriedly. Then he looked behind me. "And who's that?"
I followed his stare, and I saw only Harry there. The other five were nowhere to be seen. Harry stepped forward, an odd look on his face.
"Neville Longbottom. It's been a while, hasn't it?" Harry remarked. Now Neville recognized him. His eyes rolled back into his head as he collapsed in a dead faint.
Harry sighed, rolling his eyes, and lazily pulled out his wand and muttered, "Ennervate." Neville's eyes sprang open.
"Harry!" he cried. He quickly got up and ran to Harry. I was about to shriek for him to stop, when a hand clapped over my mouth. Looking up, I saw it was one of the hooded men. They drew me back into the shadows.
I watched, striving to get to Neville and warn him. I watched as Harry faked happiness, how he hugged Neville tightly, how he grinned. It made me feel sick.
"How did you get here? Where have you been? What happened?" Neville asked happily, all thoughts of me forgotten.
Harry waved a nonchalant hand in the air. "It's in the past. I'm fine now." I saw a malicious spark in his eye. "Now, could you please tell me where Ron and Hermione are? I'm just dying to see them." Neville didn't even question how Harry knew that the two people were with him. He just pointed happily behind Harry.
I turned my head as far as I could to look, as I saw Hermione and my brother coming up, their faces confused. As Harry whirled around, I saw Ron's eyes widen in shock, and Hermione's mouth drop open.
"Harry?" Ron breathed, amazement and joy slowly overpowering his face.
"Harry?" Hermione echoed, her expression matching Ron's.
"Seize them," Harry ordered. And three of the hooded men darted forward, snatching each of my friends in their dark grip.
It was a whirlwind after that.
The man behind me pushed me roughly forward, so I stumbled onto my hands and knees on the ground.
Harry pointed at me with a smirk and cried out that I was the one who had betrayed the location to him.
And I saw the looks on the faces of those who had been my friends.
The shocked expression on Neville's face. The anger in Hermione's. And the betrayed look in my big brother's eyes as he stared at me.
"Ginny?" Ron whispered, straining against the tight grip of the Death Eater's hands. "It can't be true. You didn't, of course you didn't…right?"
A wave of guilt and regret lanced at me through the heart. And, at a loss of what to do next, I merely bowed my head.
"NO!" Ron screamed into the air, a cry of utter pain and hurt. I couldn't speak- I couldn't even breathe- as I collapsed, my hands curling over my face.
And though all I wanted to do was hide, I slowly looked up and met the blue eyes of my brother. And instead of looking furious as I would have believed he would have been, he just looked lost. Lost and completely defeated.
The other two captives echoed Ron's look, Hermione's head down with hair falling over her face, and Neville trembling and staring at the space above my head. All three had stopped struggling.
Harry spat out some words sharply, no hint of emotion in him. The only traces of good left in my world, my only friends, vanished as their captors Disapparated.
I threw myself at the place they had been and landed, weeping, on a sharp pile of twigs and leaves. I heard a cool voice behind me.
"I truly don't know how to thank you for helping me in this matter, Miss Weasley." I could sense Harry smiling once more. "Oh, wait, yes I do! And though you may not enjoy it very much, I'm sure it will be a wonderful experience, one which will remind you of me every single day for the rest of your life."
And before this comment could sink in to my grief-ridden head, Harry swooped down, snatched my wrist, and I was suddenly alone in a dark cell which I would never leave.
***
Giggling helplessly, tears staining her cheeks, Ginny lay down on the ice-cold floor. Her tiny ragged form curled up into the fetal position, her head resting on a bony arm.
She turned her eyes to the mocking moon just barely visible through the slit that was her tiny window. The moon that was allowed to rise and to set, and could stay bright even while it was immersed in darkness.
She worshipped the moon, she admired the moon…no. She hated the moon. It was free. She would never be free.
The young prisoner's eyes gently closed as her mouth formed a final word.
"Why?"
If only, if only, the moon speaks no reply;
Reflecting the sun and all that's gone by.
Be strong my weary wolf, turn around boldly.
Fly high, my baby bird,
My angel, my only.