3. Sun that Breaks the Storm
I was reluctant to open my eyes, a futile attempt on my part to prolong the dream I was having. I'm not the only one who does it. I remembered that I didn't have to get up early and went back to sleep, trying to recall the dream back to me, as if tempting a kitten with a piece of ribbon. Come on, you know you want to.
What time is it? I shout when I wake up next in a daft sleep ridden stupor. A habit left over from my early experiences of teaching when I'd wake up late and shout profanities as I ran around the house like a headless chicken as I try to get dressed, eat breakfast and search for my car keys at the same time. I relax somewhat when I realise, again, that I don't have to rush. I sigh and decide to get up now leaving the fading fragments of my dream in the bedroom and it is almost forgotten by the time I get to the bottom of the stairs.
Deciding that I don't look too bad, I go out to collect the mail and feel the need to get back inside quickly as the sun shining, blue sky wearing pretty day in December is frigging cold. I guess it is winter.
The phone rings a little later when I'm sipping my coffee and ignoring the credit card bill, which the credit card company evidently saw fit to send me two days after Christmas; how very nice of them.
It turned out to be Willow asking me if I could baby-sit Harry for the day while they went to the hospital for a check-up. I instantly agreed since Harry wasn't too much trouble just by himself and I loved the little guy. So this was why, two hours later, I was to be found on the floor of the living room watching Harry play and playing as well. I look at Harry and am somehow at peace. It's the same with the other children. I heard somewhere that it isn't unusual. Of course I think when other people feel it, they are looking at their own children, but I don't see much difference. I am an aunt and godmother and that's as near as I'm going to get right now. And as I laugh at Harry's delight at his newfound skill I know that being an aunt is pretty damn good.
When there was a knock at the door several minutes later I picked Harry up and put him on my hip before going to answer since I didn't want to leave him by himself. So there was I, and Harry, answering the door just like any other time.
Not like any other time.
"Hello." I found myself saying before the door was even open completely.
Before I even saw who it was.
Before I saw who was standing on my doorstep.
Before I saw who was standing on my doorstep in the bright blazing like winter sun on the same cold morning it was when I collected the mail.
In the cold,
In the winter sun,
The sun,
Angel.
As good as it was to set my eyes on his gorgeous features after so long it didn't quite override my shock at seeing him there in the first place.
On my doorstep,
Looking gorgeous,
Holding flowers,
In the sun,
The sun.
My shock at seeing him in the sun, and unfortunately, my legs suddenly threatened to give way, despite my continuing slayer strength, they appeared to have forgotten this and now felt like two very unstable limbs made of jelly.
Thankfully, my brain was not as arrogant in its reliance on my strength as my present thinking was, and helpfully allowed me to quickly put my free hand on the wall for support.
Also, Angel seemed to have realised about the difficulty I was having with my legs and opened his arms offering to take Harry from me, which I reluctantly accepted. And, free from the responsibility of holding my best friends baby I gave in to the new, no leg strength scenario and all the sudden confused yammering that was going on in my head, and I did what anyone in the same situation would do. I fainted. How embarrassing.
I opened my eyes to find I wasn't by the door any longer, but on the couch.
"Hey, you okay?" I heard him ask me a second later. And though I got my eyes to focus on the image of him sitting by me I couldn't quite get my mind to believe it, to believe any of it.
I eyed him uncertainly, and then suddenly came to my senses.
"Where's Harry?" I exclaimed, sitting up too quickly and giving myself a head rush. While a laugh and 'me!" from Harry on the floor with his toys again told me he was both, there and happy. I smiled, relieved and looked at Angel again, finding that we were now a bit close, obviously realising this, he moved back a little further on the couch to give me some room.
"Harry is it? He wouldn't tell me his name." Angel chuckled a little.
I couldn't decide whether this was real or not, but judging the rapidly fading pain in my head I thought I might as well trust it. Particularly since my godson doesn't normally take such a major role in my family fantasies.
I smiled, not sure what I was going to do.
"He's not allowed to talk to strangers." I said quietly. Angel regarded me, trying to decide if I was joking or annoyed. I'm not sure what I had meant.
"Buffy." Angel started, but I interrupted him.
"Are you sure he's okay?" I asked him, suddenly not wanting to know why he was here. Why was he here? I had too many horrible scenes run through my head. None of them included me in any way. I suppose that it was very selfish of me to hope or assume that he was here for me in some way. It was most likely for my help in some rare demon matter. There are not many demons around anymore, but there are enough to stir up trouble occasionally, yes, that is why he is here.
I got up, sitting on the carpet by Harry and his toys.
"You okay sweetie?" I asked him, he nodded at me and went back to his play. He, was clearly unaffected by the presence of the tall dark and handsome stranger (to him) that was sitting in my living room.
Having made sure that Harry was okay I turned to look up at him, by useful excuse for delay, gone.
"Angel."
"You have accepted that I am here then?" He asked; I detected only a hint of humour in his voice.
"I suppose that it would be hard to pretend you aren't here when I passed out from the shock of it." I told him honestly.
"And woke up in here two minutes later."
"Yes."
A slightly awkward silence followed this short exchange. I imagined Angel and me in more than one fantasy just while I was sitting there.
Angel broke it.
"How old is Harry?" He asked, which brought me out of my daydream very abruptly, hoping my face didn't look as red as it felt I considered his question. He wanted to talk about Harry?
"He's two years and one month." I told him, well he'd asked hadn't he?
"Is his dad around?" He asked a moment later. I looked at him very confused, and then realised.
He knew nothing about Harry. I'm not sure he knew anything about anyone of the Sunnydale Scooby's that were still in Sunnydale.
He didn't know that Harry was Will and Tara's son. That Willow had had him.
He thought Harry was mine.
Huh, he does have an odd, unreadable kind of expression on his face, that could be explained by.my heart did a little flip flop, stupid romantic thing.by jealousy.
He could be jealous of the imaginary father of my imagined son. Interesting. Though I knew that he wasn't necessarily jealous, unfortunately, my heart took over and I couldn't think of any other reasons for his expression and strain on his voice or the look on his face.
Well, even if he wasn't jealous, I could work with this.
"Harry's dad? No he isn't in Harry's life." I told him simply.
"No?" Angel enquired, a little bit too politely, like he was restraining himself.
"No, not that he doesn't have a father figure, he does. He still has plenty of fatherly type interaction." Angel looked briefly saddened but it was gone that quickly I'm not sure that the emotion had actually crossed his face. Maybe I was just imagining things I wanted to see.
"A father figure, well that's good."
"Yes, especially since some children raised in gay relationships have only the influence from one gender." Now he looked very confused. I could almost hear his brain trying to make the connections to understand me. I could almost hear the 'Buffy is gay?' in his head. I knew it was a little cruel but it was really a result of his assumption.
"Gay?" I pretended not to hear that.
"And Harry and Xander get on so well."
"Xander?"
"Yeah." I paused to see him get more confused. "Anyway, I'm sure you didn't come here to talk about Harry, as lovely as he is."
"No, I didn't, but, Harry, he's your son right?" I looked at him like I would anyone who asked me that question, surprised.
"No, he's my godson, whatever gave you the idea that he was my son?" I asked him, hiding my grin.
"But, you said.he's not your son?" I shook my head. "He's my godson, I just have the pleasure of babysitting him a bit, sometimes." Angel looked like he understood a bit better and I, again, imagined that he looked relieved. Wishful thinking.
"So Harry is.Willow and Tara's son?" He asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, they're at the hospital so I'm looking after him, obviously." I added to myself.
"The hospital? Nothing serious I hope." Angel sounded concerned and I found myself falling. His concern for people that weren't in his life now was so.I can't describe it. "Buffy?" He asked,
"Oh, no, Tara's six months pregnant, it's just a check-up, everything's been fine so far."
"Pregnant? That's great."
"Yeah." I said, a bit quietly. I decided to draw the conversation forward. "There was a reason you came here right? It wasn't to just talk about Harry."
"No, but, I did come here to talk to you Buffy."
"What about? Everyone's okay right, Cordelia and Wes and everyone?"
"Oh yeah, they're great, Cordy and Wes have a three year old son too."
"They do? What's his name?" Having no children yourself makes you so much more interested in other peoples.
"He's called, um, Liam." I smiled,
"So," I said, trying to encourage him to continue.
"Yeah, I came to talk to you, this, this wasn't exactly how I pictured this would go."
"You pictured us talking?" Angel smiled a little.
"I came to tell you something, and ask you something." I looked at him gone out. And silently begged him to get on with it so I didn't have to go completely mad while sitting here looking at the object of my long term affection and dreams.
"You came to tell me something two days after Christmas, after years of non- communication?" I asked, trying but failing to disguise the bitterness in my voice.
"Yeah." He said, a little downcast. It was cute actually, and my anger seemed to dissipate.
"Go on then." I said, my impatience getting the better of me in spite of his cuteness. It had been years, after all.
"Buffy, the thing is, two days ago, something happened." I looked at him showing my interest.
And that was when it hit me.
What I was really looking at.
Angel.
My Angel was talking to me,
Sitting on my couch
On my couch, in my living room,
Sitting in the sun.
How was it that I hadn't seen it before? I know the answer to that, I was too busy delaying talking to him properly and confusing him with Harry's genealogy. I had seen it; I just hadn't accepted what I was seeing.
"You're in the sun, and you're not all dusty." I blurted out before I could help it.
He smiled at me and nodded slowly and opened his mouth about to say something but I went on, sure I was right.
"How come you're wearing the Ring of Amara? You never did before, in fact, Oz told us that you'd destroyed it. You didn't?" I asked as he shook his head at me, smiling slightly.
"No." I didn't reply, waiting for him to explain, what did he mean? "You're confused now?" I nodded not caring that he was having fun this time, as I had been when he misunderstood about Harry. He leaned forward and kneeled on the floor like I was. I could see Harry watching us with interest. His face was only about two inches from mine when he spoke next, "Let me make it simple, I came to tell you but let me show you instead." And he took my hand in his two hands, his two warm hands.
I almost jumped backwards from surprise but my mind rushed round, full circle and allowed me to fully understand and accept the truth.
Our eyes still locked, I moved my hand, still held in his and placed it on his chest, above his heart, and I felt it beating.
The moment was perfect, and it seemed too peaceful a moment to break with words but after about five minutes of my hand being on his chest and of us staring into each other's eyes, Harry decided that it had been quiet and broke it for us.
"Kissy!" He exclaimed, clearly wanting us to do something more entertaining than, nothing.
My face suddenly felt very hot and I was aware of how close Angel and I were, even though it had felt so comfortable a second ago.
"Buffy?" He asked quietly, sensing that I was about to move away. His stare felt like it was going beyond my eyes, into my soul. I didn't want to look away, but what was he thinking? He was human, and he came here? The romantic in me tried to get my attention, 'He's human and he came here!' but it was Angel who had my attention. I just prayed that he hadn't come here just to tell me and then leave.
"You wanted to ask me something?" Hardly daring to speculate as to what he was going to say. He nodded, almost imperceptibly,
"I do, but I wanted to say something first," He paused, as if he was nervous. " I know that whatever happened between us I loved and still love you, like no one else in the world and I know that you loved me. I wanted to stay here, but I knew I couldn't. I'm sorry for the hurt Buffy. I left to help people, to try to earn my redemption, hoping that maybe one day, I could come back to you." He swallowed nervously, "I never expected it, it happened two days ago. I woke up and was breathing. My present from the Powers that Be I guess. I got my redemption and all I could think about was coming here to see you. It took me over a day to work up the courage to come here. I was too afraid of your reaction, of you being in the middle of family Christmas celebrations. But I knew I had to come, just in case. I know I told you to move on, to have a normal life and I understand if you are happy now, or if you have someone. I just had to take the chance, however small it was, that you didn't have.because I love you. When you answered the door I saw the girl that I fell in love with, as the woman she turned into, a woman more beautiful than my greatest memory and I fell in love with you, even more, and I didn't think that was possible. The question I came to ask you, I can only ask if you don't have a husband, or boyfriend." He paused, a hopeful expression on his face and I nearly shouted out in happiness.
"I don't have a husband or boyfriend, at the moment." I whispered, the smile on my face getting bigger with every passing second. He looked relieved again and I finally let myself hope. My smile wasn't exactly subtle and I think Angel took the hint from my expression that he could continue.
"Buffy, I came to ask you, if you would spend the rest of your life with me?" I nodded, a single tear rolling down my cheek, which he kissed away before gently placing his lips over mine in a gentle longing kiss that I'd been waiting for, for far too long. "Is that a yes then?" He asked laughing when we parted for air.
"Yes, but wait." I said as he leaned in to kiss me again. He looked concerned. "It's okay, it's just, you got to say your piece and now I want to get my bit out." He nodded understanding. Neither of us moving from our positions, with our hands now clasped together. Harry hadn't moved either, evidently fascinated with what was going on in front of him. "The truth is I never stopped loving you and I couldn't find a normal life because I didn't want one. I didn't want a life without you in it. I know it was silly of me to keep hoping for a miracle, everyone else thought so but didn't say it. But I did, and you came. We got our miracle Angel, a Christmas miracle, and I love you."
"I love you." Angel replied, not caring that there was tears in his eyes.
"Do you want to ask me that question again?" He nodded and we both grinned, suddenly feeling like two giddy teenagers.
"Do you want to get up and then I can do it kneeling. The traditional way?" I shook my head.
"When were we ever conventional, I like you just where you are." He nodded,
"Will you Buffy Anne Summers, do me the honour of letting me be your husband? Will you marry me?" He took out a ring, my silver claddagh ring. I gasped, realising that he must have found it in the mansion and kept it for me.
"Yes, I will marry you." He put the ring on my ring finger and we hugged each other before our lips found each other again, while little Harry laughed at us.
It wasn't very surprising that we didn't hear anything; we were too involved with each other to hear them come in.
"Honestly Buffy, Angel." Willow said, laughing at us.
"What are you exposing our child to?" Tara continued, laughing just as hard as Willow.
"Nothing that she doesn't see at home." I told them.
"We know, just love." And Angel and I looked at each other, thinking the same thing.
"Love," I began saying, "is never."
". 'Just' anything." Angel finished for me.
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I know you won't
I have been saving smiles for you
I don't need to now
Pretty baby why can't you see
You see now
You're the one that I belong to
You know now
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
Forever
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
No more rain
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
With you
As long as you keep comin' round
I'm happy.
Epilogue coming very soon, should have finished it tonight. : )
I was reluctant to open my eyes, a futile attempt on my part to prolong the dream I was having. I'm not the only one who does it. I remembered that I didn't have to get up early and went back to sleep, trying to recall the dream back to me, as if tempting a kitten with a piece of ribbon. Come on, you know you want to.
What time is it? I shout when I wake up next in a daft sleep ridden stupor. A habit left over from my early experiences of teaching when I'd wake up late and shout profanities as I ran around the house like a headless chicken as I try to get dressed, eat breakfast and search for my car keys at the same time. I relax somewhat when I realise, again, that I don't have to rush. I sigh and decide to get up now leaving the fading fragments of my dream in the bedroom and it is almost forgotten by the time I get to the bottom of the stairs.
Deciding that I don't look too bad, I go out to collect the mail and feel the need to get back inside quickly as the sun shining, blue sky wearing pretty day in December is frigging cold. I guess it is winter.
The phone rings a little later when I'm sipping my coffee and ignoring the credit card bill, which the credit card company evidently saw fit to send me two days after Christmas; how very nice of them.
It turned out to be Willow asking me if I could baby-sit Harry for the day while they went to the hospital for a check-up. I instantly agreed since Harry wasn't too much trouble just by himself and I loved the little guy. So this was why, two hours later, I was to be found on the floor of the living room watching Harry play and playing as well. I look at Harry and am somehow at peace. It's the same with the other children. I heard somewhere that it isn't unusual. Of course I think when other people feel it, they are looking at their own children, but I don't see much difference. I am an aunt and godmother and that's as near as I'm going to get right now. And as I laugh at Harry's delight at his newfound skill I know that being an aunt is pretty damn good.
When there was a knock at the door several minutes later I picked Harry up and put him on my hip before going to answer since I didn't want to leave him by himself. So there was I, and Harry, answering the door just like any other time.
Not like any other time.
"Hello." I found myself saying before the door was even open completely.
Before I even saw who it was.
Before I saw who was standing on my doorstep.
Before I saw who was standing on my doorstep in the bright blazing like winter sun on the same cold morning it was when I collected the mail.
In the cold,
In the winter sun,
The sun,
Angel.
As good as it was to set my eyes on his gorgeous features after so long it didn't quite override my shock at seeing him there in the first place.
On my doorstep,
Looking gorgeous,
Holding flowers,
In the sun,
The sun.
My shock at seeing him in the sun, and unfortunately, my legs suddenly threatened to give way, despite my continuing slayer strength, they appeared to have forgotten this and now felt like two very unstable limbs made of jelly.
Thankfully, my brain was not as arrogant in its reliance on my strength as my present thinking was, and helpfully allowed me to quickly put my free hand on the wall for support.
Also, Angel seemed to have realised about the difficulty I was having with my legs and opened his arms offering to take Harry from me, which I reluctantly accepted. And, free from the responsibility of holding my best friends baby I gave in to the new, no leg strength scenario and all the sudden confused yammering that was going on in my head, and I did what anyone in the same situation would do. I fainted. How embarrassing.
I opened my eyes to find I wasn't by the door any longer, but on the couch.
"Hey, you okay?" I heard him ask me a second later. And though I got my eyes to focus on the image of him sitting by me I couldn't quite get my mind to believe it, to believe any of it.
I eyed him uncertainly, and then suddenly came to my senses.
"Where's Harry?" I exclaimed, sitting up too quickly and giving myself a head rush. While a laugh and 'me!" from Harry on the floor with his toys again told me he was both, there and happy. I smiled, relieved and looked at Angel again, finding that we were now a bit close, obviously realising this, he moved back a little further on the couch to give me some room.
"Harry is it? He wouldn't tell me his name." Angel chuckled a little.
I couldn't decide whether this was real or not, but judging the rapidly fading pain in my head I thought I might as well trust it. Particularly since my godson doesn't normally take such a major role in my family fantasies.
I smiled, not sure what I was going to do.
"He's not allowed to talk to strangers." I said quietly. Angel regarded me, trying to decide if I was joking or annoyed. I'm not sure what I had meant.
"Buffy." Angel started, but I interrupted him.
"Are you sure he's okay?" I asked him, suddenly not wanting to know why he was here. Why was he here? I had too many horrible scenes run through my head. None of them included me in any way. I suppose that it was very selfish of me to hope or assume that he was here for me in some way. It was most likely for my help in some rare demon matter. There are not many demons around anymore, but there are enough to stir up trouble occasionally, yes, that is why he is here.
I got up, sitting on the carpet by Harry and his toys.
"You okay sweetie?" I asked him, he nodded at me and went back to his play. He, was clearly unaffected by the presence of the tall dark and handsome stranger (to him) that was sitting in my living room.
Having made sure that Harry was okay I turned to look up at him, by useful excuse for delay, gone.
"Angel."
"You have accepted that I am here then?" He asked; I detected only a hint of humour in his voice.
"I suppose that it would be hard to pretend you aren't here when I passed out from the shock of it." I told him honestly.
"And woke up in here two minutes later."
"Yes."
A slightly awkward silence followed this short exchange. I imagined Angel and me in more than one fantasy just while I was sitting there.
Angel broke it.
"How old is Harry?" He asked, which brought me out of my daydream very abruptly, hoping my face didn't look as red as it felt I considered his question. He wanted to talk about Harry?
"He's two years and one month." I told him, well he'd asked hadn't he?
"Is his dad around?" He asked a moment later. I looked at him very confused, and then realised.
He knew nothing about Harry. I'm not sure he knew anything about anyone of the Sunnydale Scooby's that were still in Sunnydale.
He didn't know that Harry was Will and Tara's son. That Willow had had him.
He thought Harry was mine.
Huh, he does have an odd, unreadable kind of expression on his face, that could be explained by.my heart did a little flip flop, stupid romantic thing.by jealousy.
He could be jealous of the imaginary father of my imagined son. Interesting. Though I knew that he wasn't necessarily jealous, unfortunately, my heart took over and I couldn't think of any other reasons for his expression and strain on his voice or the look on his face.
Well, even if he wasn't jealous, I could work with this.
"Harry's dad? No he isn't in Harry's life." I told him simply.
"No?" Angel enquired, a little bit too politely, like he was restraining himself.
"No, not that he doesn't have a father figure, he does. He still has plenty of fatherly type interaction." Angel looked briefly saddened but it was gone that quickly I'm not sure that the emotion had actually crossed his face. Maybe I was just imagining things I wanted to see.
"A father figure, well that's good."
"Yes, especially since some children raised in gay relationships have only the influence from one gender." Now he looked very confused. I could almost hear his brain trying to make the connections to understand me. I could almost hear the 'Buffy is gay?' in his head. I knew it was a little cruel but it was really a result of his assumption.
"Gay?" I pretended not to hear that.
"And Harry and Xander get on so well."
"Xander?"
"Yeah." I paused to see him get more confused. "Anyway, I'm sure you didn't come here to talk about Harry, as lovely as he is."
"No, I didn't, but, Harry, he's your son right?" I looked at him like I would anyone who asked me that question, surprised.
"No, he's my godson, whatever gave you the idea that he was my son?" I asked him, hiding my grin.
"But, you said.he's not your son?" I shook my head. "He's my godson, I just have the pleasure of babysitting him a bit, sometimes." Angel looked like he understood a bit better and I, again, imagined that he looked relieved. Wishful thinking.
"So Harry is.Willow and Tara's son?" He asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, they're at the hospital so I'm looking after him, obviously." I added to myself.
"The hospital? Nothing serious I hope." Angel sounded concerned and I found myself falling. His concern for people that weren't in his life now was so.I can't describe it. "Buffy?" He asked,
"Oh, no, Tara's six months pregnant, it's just a check-up, everything's been fine so far."
"Pregnant? That's great."
"Yeah." I said, a bit quietly. I decided to draw the conversation forward. "There was a reason you came here right? It wasn't to just talk about Harry."
"No, but, I did come here to talk to you Buffy."
"What about? Everyone's okay right, Cordelia and Wes and everyone?"
"Oh yeah, they're great, Cordy and Wes have a three year old son too."
"They do? What's his name?" Having no children yourself makes you so much more interested in other peoples.
"He's called, um, Liam." I smiled,
"So," I said, trying to encourage him to continue.
"Yeah, I came to talk to you, this, this wasn't exactly how I pictured this would go."
"You pictured us talking?" Angel smiled a little.
"I came to tell you something, and ask you something." I looked at him gone out. And silently begged him to get on with it so I didn't have to go completely mad while sitting here looking at the object of my long term affection and dreams.
"You came to tell me something two days after Christmas, after years of non- communication?" I asked, trying but failing to disguise the bitterness in my voice.
"Yeah." He said, a little downcast. It was cute actually, and my anger seemed to dissipate.
"Go on then." I said, my impatience getting the better of me in spite of his cuteness. It had been years, after all.
"Buffy, the thing is, two days ago, something happened." I looked at him showing my interest.
And that was when it hit me.
What I was really looking at.
Angel.
My Angel was talking to me,
Sitting on my couch
On my couch, in my living room,
Sitting in the sun.
How was it that I hadn't seen it before? I know the answer to that, I was too busy delaying talking to him properly and confusing him with Harry's genealogy. I had seen it; I just hadn't accepted what I was seeing.
"You're in the sun, and you're not all dusty." I blurted out before I could help it.
He smiled at me and nodded slowly and opened his mouth about to say something but I went on, sure I was right.
"How come you're wearing the Ring of Amara? You never did before, in fact, Oz told us that you'd destroyed it. You didn't?" I asked as he shook his head at me, smiling slightly.
"No." I didn't reply, waiting for him to explain, what did he mean? "You're confused now?" I nodded not caring that he was having fun this time, as I had been when he misunderstood about Harry. He leaned forward and kneeled on the floor like I was. I could see Harry watching us with interest. His face was only about two inches from mine when he spoke next, "Let me make it simple, I came to tell you but let me show you instead." And he took my hand in his two hands, his two warm hands.
I almost jumped backwards from surprise but my mind rushed round, full circle and allowed me to fully understand and accept the truth.
Our eyes still locked, I moved my hand, still held in his and placed it on his chest, above his heart, and I felt it beating.
The moment was perfect, and it seemed too peaceful a moment to break with words but after about five minutes of my hand being on his chest and of us staring into each other's eyes, Harry decided that it had been quiet and broke it for us.
"Kissy!" He exclaimed, clearly wanting us to do something more entertaining than, nothing.
My face suddenly felt very hot and I was aware of how close Angel and I were, even though it had felt so comfortable a second ago.
"Buffy?" He asked quietly, sensing that I was about to move away. His stare felt like it was going beyond my eyes, into my soul. I didn't want to look away, but what was he thinking? He was human, and he came here? The romantic in me tried to get my attention, 'He's human and he came here!' but it was Angel who had my attention. I just prayed that he hadn't come here just to tell me and then leave.
"You wanted to ask me something?" Hardly daring to speculate as to what he was going to say. He nodded, almost imperceptibly,
"I do, but I wanted to say something first," He paused, as if he was nervous. " I know that whatever happened between us I loved and still love you, like no one else in the world and I know that you loved me. I wanted to stay here, but I knew I couldn't. I'm sorry for the hurt Buffy. I left to help people, to try to earn my redemption, hoping that maybe one day, I could come back to you." He swallowed nervously, "I never expected it, it happened two days ago. I woke up and was breathing. My present from the Powers that Be I guess. I got my redemption and all I could think about was coming here to see you. It took me over a day to work up the courage to come here. I was too afraid of your reaction, of you being in the middle of family Christmas celebrations. But I knew I had to come, just in case. I know I told you to move on, to have a normal life and I understand if you are happy now, or if you have someone. I just had to take the chance, however small it was, that you didn't have.because I love you. When you answered the door I saw the girl that I fell in love with, as the woman she turned into, a woman more beautiful than my greatest memory and I fell in love with you, even more, and I didn't think that was possible. The question I came to ask you, I can only ask if you don't have a husband, or boyfriend." He paused, a hopeful expression on his face and I nearly shouted out in happiness.
"I don't have a husband or boyfriend, at the moment." I whispered, the smile on my face getting bigger with every passing second. He looked relieved again and I finally let myself hope. My smile wasn't exactly subtle and I think Angel took the hint from my expression that he could continue.
"Buffy, I came to ask you, if you would spend the rest of your life with me?" I nodded, a single tear rolling down my cheek, which he kissed away before gently placing his lips over mine in a gentle longing kiss that I'd been waiting for, for far too long. "Is that a yes then?" He asked laughing when we parted for air.
"Yes, but wait." I said as he leaned in to kiss me again. He looked concerned. "It's okay, it's just, you got to say your piece and now I want to get my bit out." He nodded understanding. Neither of us moving from our positions, with our hands now clasped together. Harry hadn't moved either, evidently fascinated with what was going on in front of him. "The truth is I never stopped loving you and I couldn't find a normal life because I didn't want one. I didn't want a life without you in it. I know it was silly of me to keep hoping for a miracle, everyone else thought so but didn't say it. But I did, and you came. We got our miracle Angel, a Christmas miracle, and I love you."
"I love you." Angel replied, not caring that there was tears in his eyes.
"Do you want to ask me that question again?" He nodded and we both grinned, suddenly feeling like two giddy teenagers.
"Do you want to get up and then I can do it kneeling. The traditional way?" I shook my head.
"When were we ever conventional, I like you just where you are." He nodded,
"Will you Buffy Anne Summers, do me the honour of letting me be your husband? Will you marry me?" He took out a ring, my silver claddagh ring. I gasped, realising that he must have found it in the mansion and kept it for me.
"Yes, I will marry you." He put the ring on my ring finger and we hugged each other before our lips found each other again, while little Harry laughed at us.
It wasn't very surprising that we didn't hear anything; we were too involved with each other to hear them come in.
"Honestly Buffy, Angel." Willow said, laughing at us.
"What are you exposing our child to?" Tara continued, laughing just as hard as Willow.
"Nothing that she doesn't see at home." I told them.
"We know, just love." And Angel and I looked at each other, thinking the same thing.
"Love," I began saying, "is never."
". 'Just' anything." Angel finished for me.
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I know you won't
I have been saving smiles for you
I don't need to now
Pretty baby why can't you see
You see now
You're the one that I belong to
You know now
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
Forever
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
No more rain
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
With you
As long as you keep comin' round
I'm happy.
Epilogue coming very soon, should have finished it tonight. : )