Thank you to anyone who reviewed and said nice things about this story. It
puts little rays of sunshine into my life. I feel like I get monotonous
when I thank those who review but its necessary because your positive
comments are what boost my confidence to continue writing.
~Kiara
DISCLAIMER: I am not JK Rowling and the world of Harry Potter does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. I am making no money off this trifle of a story.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
What did Malfoy think he had been doing, anyway? He should have just kept his mouth shut and then Harry wouldn't have to worry about detention or how he and Draco were now going to find time to talk. Harry's fear was that Draco would feel the time had passed, his walls would go up, and Harry wouldn't be able to get back in. If he couldn't have Draco the way he wanted, Harry would settle for being his friend. The time they were supposed to spend talking was now going to be spent assisting Hagrid and though he liked Hagrid, Harry wanted some time with Draco to himself.
As they wrapped up dinner, Harry frowned at Ron and Hermione, both of whom were wearing the same expression in reply though for very different reasons. They stood together in a silent unison and the Gryffindor table watched as they left and headed into the entrance hall. Malfoy was already there, standing just outside the doors as the trio came out. He received glares from Ron and Hermione who linked hands and picked up pace, walking ahead to the lake. Harry hung back, allowing Draco to fall into pace next to him.
"What were you thinking today?" snapped Harry, making sure to keep his voice low as not to alert his friends. "I didn't really need another detention to add to my growing record."
"Sorry," mumbled Draco in reply as his defenses began to go up. "Its just that Snape said detention was by the lake and that's where we were supposed to meet."
"We could have decided to meet somewhere else," snapped Harry.
"Oh. You know, I didn't think that far ahead at the time. Snape just said the lake after dinner and I panicked. My first instinct was to get detention too. I wasn't thinking."
"Well that much is obvious."
"Hey," replied Draco, a little louder than intended and he dropped his voice again when Ron and Hermione glanced back at them. "No one ever said you had to get detention too."
"I didn't try," argued Harry. "All I did was ask you what you were doing."
"And then you told me to shove it," Draco finished. "I know what you said. I was there. You did try to get detention once I had mine guaranteed. Why did you do it?"
"I wanted to spend tonight with you," Harry said at length, surprised with himself for even admitting it. "Do you still want to talk tonight?"
Draco looked up at Harry, his eyes pleading as he nodded. "Yeah. I'd like that."
"Okay," Harry said, looking around to make sure no one could hear him and paying close attention to the hedges. "After detention, come back to Gryffindor tower with me. I need to get something, then we can sit by the lake and talk. I'll just tell Ron and Hermione that I need a word with you. They'll be curious but I doubt they'll ask questions until I get back and they corner me."
"Okay," agreed Draco as they breached the lake where Hagrid was already standing.
"'Ullo there," said Hagrid. "I 'eard abou' the mess yer made in Potions."
"It was Malfoy's mess," Ron retorted as he sent a glare to Draco.
"I'm sorry, okay?" Draco threw his hands up in the air. "I added too much asphodel. It's done. Over with. Move on. I was distracted. My mistake. Come off-" Draco's words stilled in his throat, visibly paling as Hagrid stepped aside to reveal a large, slimy oberdun. "Oh no. Not that thing. It tried to kill me before." Ron and Hermione could be heard sniggering.
"I've learned a bit abou' oberduns since then," said Hagrid. "Fer one, oberduns don't like it when yer poking 'em." All eyes turned to Malfoy as he hung his head.
"Fool," hissed Harry at Draco. "See what purposely getting detention does to you."
"Feel sorry for me. I have to work with the oberdun and that thing almost took off my arm last time."
"You're such a drama queen, Malfoy," accused Harry. "And no one made you poke it. You volunteered for that on your own."
Draco pouted as Hagrid began rolling facts off his tongue about oberduns. Passing out a murky plant Hagrid called a snufleweed, he told them to feed Ichabod. Draco's second encounter with the oberdun went much better then the first since he made sure to keep his fingers free of any poking action. Once it had been fed, cleaned, and played with at Hagrid's request, detention time was up and the four were freed to return to the school.
"He actually made us play with the slimy thing," drawled Draco.
"What's it to you, Malfoy?" asked Hermione. "Were you afraid of making a wrong move and really losing you arm that time?"
"Why are you following us, anyway?" Ron asked.
"I need to speak with Potter. In private," replied Draco. "Not that it's any of your business."
Ron gave an inquisitive look to Harry who merely shrugged and they stopped just outside the portrait hole. All eyes fell on Malfoy.
"What?" he asked.
"You can't hear the Gryffindor password," answered Ron.
"Oh for goodness sakes," Draco barked before wandering away from the entrance. Ron keeping one eye on Malfoy uttered the password and they entered into the common room. Harry rushed past them, heading for the dormitory. He reappeared not long after, something in his hands as he rushed out without room for questions to be asked.
Draco emerged from the shadows of the hallway, approaching as Harry came out of the portrait hole. "Its after hours," said Draco. "I don't want you to get another detention and if we get caught, we'll be in trouble. Maybe we should just forget about tonight." Sighing, Draco toed the ground with his shoe as he pulled his cloak closer around his body.
"We aren't going to get caught," said Harry, coming toward him. "I'm not going to let you get out of talking tonight. You need the release, Draco. I can tell. And I want to hear."
"Because you actually care?" asked Draco. Harry nodded his reply. "Well how do you propose we do this, Potter?"
"Like this," replied Harry, unfolding the invisibility cloak from his hands and draping it over the entire length of his body, vanishing before Malfoy. "Are you ready to trust me and go out to the lake now?" Harry's voice came from what seemed like thin air. Draco swallowed, his lips pulled into a tight, pencil thin line.
"So that explains it," Draco mumbled to himself. He approached where he had last seen Harry and he felt an arm seize his wrist, fingers wrapping around. The next thing he saw was Harry standing in front on him, both surrounded by the invisibility cloak. "You have an invisibility cloak," Draco almost shouted and Harry's hand quickly covered his mouth to silence him. "Sorry. But that explains why I saw your head floating in Hogsmeade as third years. I knew you were there! You weren't supposed to be. How'd you get past the dementors?"
"Later," replied Harry, seizing Draco's arm and dragging him in the direction of the entrance hall. They walked outside and into the night together, huddled close under the invisibility cloak, bodies pressed together due to the tight space. They walked down to the lake, taking a seat near the shore and Harry's breath caught in his throat as Draco sat down beside him, knees brushing. "Well, Malfoy? You're on."
"Okay, but first tell me about the invisibility cloak." Draco drew his knees up to his chest, eye intently set on Harry.
"I'm trusting you with this so remember that if you breathe a word of this to anyone, I'll kill you," forewarned Harry. Draco smiled, dropping his head to his knees and nodding. "It was my father's. He left it in Dumbledore's care before he died and Professor Dumbledore returned it to me as a first year. Comes in handy when I need to visit someone."
"Or sneak your enemies out to tell you their deepest, darkest secrets," added Draco, provoking a laugh from Harry. "I suppose there's a lot for me to tell, and remember, I'm trusting you with this, Harry."
Harry smiled. "I like it when you use my first name," he said. "And I'll remember."
Draco was quiet for some time. Wind could be heard howling through the air and trees. When Draco finally spoke, his voice shattered the silence. His words shattered Harry's heart. "I've thought about killing myself," admitted Draco. "I've gone over my own death in a thousand different ways. I've even gone so far as to plan it out. Even what comes after it. Sometimes it just seems that there's so much pressure on me and my shoulders can't hold up the weight. Everyone judges me because I'm a Malfoy and I try to play the part. It just gets to be too much to deal with. I can't handle all the expectations. The thing is, what if I live? My father would make things worse for me than they already are. It would mar the Malfoy name."
"Draco," interrupted Harry, putting an arm around Draco's shoulder, "if you think you're going to live, you don't really want to die."
"But I do. And my family expects so much of me. My father - my father expects so much out of me. My family wants me to be a Death Eater, my father in particular. Everyone else already thinks I am. They want me to support Voldemort but I just can't. I don't see the point in it. There's nothing I'm going to get out of it. Maybe I'm being selfish but I don't see the point. I can't lower myself to kissing Voldemort's feet and calling him Master. That's not what I want for myself. I can't survive doing that and I can't support what Voldemort stands for when it goes against everything I believe. I can't support Voldemort when he wants to kill you. Not when you're the only thing that sparks emotion in me, whether it be hate, anger, or friendship."
"What do you want, Draco?" asked Harry, his voice soft. Draco's body had shifted toward Harry's and he now held Draco cradled in his arms. "For a minute, just forget everything that's expected of you. Forget what your father wants and the general public believes. Anything is possible, Draco. What do you want?"
Silence filled the air as Draco's thoughts ran through his mind. "I want my father to speak directly to me like when I was younger instead of using servants to do the job for him. I have this crazy notion that my father should care about me and love me. I don't want to be a Death Eater and I don't want my father to be one either. I want my father to still be around when I have kids coming to Hogwarts. I don't want Voldemort to kill you. I want it all."
"I don't think you can have it all," Harry half whispered.
"I know I can't. You know what I learned last year? I learned why I really hate muggles. It has nothing to do with my father. I mean, it did when I was younger, but everything was because of my father until our third year. I don't know if its teenage rebellion or if I'm just growing up."
"I think you're just growing up."
"Maybe. Everything was so simple before. All I ever wanted to do was to please my father. Then I just couldn't do it anymore and I found myself thinking thoughts I'd never thought I'd think. I don't hate muggles, I'm just jealous. I want to be one. They have problems but things are so much simpler. If a muggle boy is expected to follow in his father's footsteps, more often than not he isn't expected to support the darkest Lord in a century. If he says no, he won't be murdered like I would be. He's at least received love in his life. You know, I keep hearing about this love but I don't buy it. I've never felt it and no one has ever felt it for me."
"Love is real," responded Harry. "My parents loved me and I love them. Love is real, Draco."
"Maybe I'm just incapable of feeling it, then. Maybe I'm incapable of receiving it." Draco sighed, the release heavy in his throat. "Harry, I've grown up through my entire life having to hear your name. It was always tried to be inbred in me to hate you. I don't though, and maybe I never did. Maybe I was just jealous or maybe I was sore because you refused to be my friend. I don't know."
"There's no reason to be jealous of me, Draco," said Harry. "My parents are dead and so I have to live with the Dursleys. They're the most awful muggles you'd ever meet. Until we got my Hogwarts letter, I had to live in a cupboard under the stairs. My uncle Vernon dragged us all over Britain trying to get away from my Hogwarts letters and Hagrid had to come and collect me. I didn't even know I was a wizard, much less a famous one, until Hagrid told me so. I thought my parents died in a car crash. And that's not even getting into my cousin, Dudley, who is just plain awful. He's wider than he is tall and his favorite recreational activity is to beat me up. I'd stay at Hogwarts forever if I could."
"Me too," Draco replied, glum. "Is it really that bad?"
"Its awful. The only good thing I have, besides Hogwarts, Ron, and Hermione, is my godfather and all I have to do to keep Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia under control is to mention him."
"Why don't you just go live with your godfather?"
"Er," replied Harry, clearing his throat. "I really can't live with him. If I were to tell you, Draco, you would have to swear you'll never utter this information to another living soul ever."
"I promise," Draco said. "I told you a bunch of stuff that you can't tell anyone. By giving out your information, you'd give out mine."
"Actually, I wouldn't. See, that's what makes me a Gryffindor and you a Slytherin."
"Very funny, Potter. I swear I won't tell anyone. That wouldn't be good karma."
"Okay, but understand that you have to mean that. Its very important that you not tell anyone what I'm about to tell you."
Draco nodded. "Okay. I couldn't tell even if I wanted to, Harry. You know too much about me now. What is it? You can tell me."
"I can't stay with my godfather," said Harry, tentatively, "because my godfather is Sirius Black."
"What?" Draco practically screamed and Harry clamped a hand over Draco's mouth. When he released, Draco's eyes were still huge with shock and surprise as he stared down Harry. "Your godfather is Sirius Black? But he's dangerous. He betrayed your parents, Harry. He's an escaped prisoner from Azkaban. He was after you. He killed thirteen people with-"
"He was innocent," finished Harry. "Sirius never committed those murders. Peter Pettigrew did and he also sold out my parents. Now he's supporting Voldemort and he's the only person I hate almost as much."
"He was innocent?" asked Draco, still wide eyed.
"Yes. I keep in contact with him. Only Snape, Lupin, Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, and the Weasleys know," warned Harry. "You can't let it slip to anyone."
"I won't," Draco assured, still in shock. Harry stared at him for some time in silence before he began to shake with laughter and Draco's eyes narrowed, staring at him. "What?"
"When I was thinking about Sirius, my thoughts drifted to Snape. From there I went to Potions and then I was thinking about Potions today," Harry explained between laughs. "You should have seen your face. I can't believe you actually did that to Ron's cauldron."
"I know," responded Draco, laughing as well. "I didn't think I was capable of that. My mind was distracted by other matters. Matters like tonight's meeting."
"Indeed. And by the way, that was a nice comeback you used. 'Wait until my father hears about this,'" Harry said in a dead on impersonation of Draco.
"It was the first thing that came to mind. I panicked."
"Its just funny that was the first thing to come to your mind," Harry said as Draco yawned. "Tired?"
"Very. I'm going to sleep straight through all my classes tomorrow and everyone is going to think I've barricaded myself in the common room and won't come out again."
"Lets go in then," suggested Harry and they stood together, careful to make sure that they were completely covered. "I'll walk you to the dungeons so you can stay under the invisibility cloak." Draco nodded in acknowledgment and they stood up together and headed in to school. "So why wouldn't you come out of your room, anyway?"
Draco hesitated, and then said, voice small, "Originally, I intended to end it, just kill myself, but I couldn't go through with it. My head hurt so much and I couldn't concentrate so I decided to stay in and get some alone time to sort things out. Deal with my almost suicide attempt. I told everyone to let the teachers know I was staying in the common room for the day and everyone blew it out of proportion. I barely had time to admit to myself that I didn't want to die before the professors started showing up. Dumbledore even suggested calling my father. He'd have had my hide for that stunt."
"If it means something, I'm glad you didn't kill yourself," admitted Harry. "I was worried about you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," answered Harry as they arrived just outside the Slytherin common room. "Draco? Can I tell you something?"
"I guess so," replied Draco. "I mean, we are friends now, right? I really think we have to be. You know too much."
"We are friends now," Harry answered. "You know too much." Pausing, Harry briefly entertained the idea of running from Draco but his feet didn't want to cooperate and remained planted on the ground. "You may hate me for this but I have to tell you. The thing is, I fancy you. I fancy you in the way that Ron fancies Hermione. In a way I know I shouldn't fancy you. I want you. You can hate me all you want but please don't say anything now. Let me go to bed with one more chance to think that you don't hate me," Harry spat out, giving Draco no room for a word in edgewise. "Think this over tonight and we'll talk it over in the morning. Goodnight."
Pulling the invisibility cloak from Draco, Harry sped off toward Gryffindor without giving a backward look. He never saw Draco's shocked face nor the pleasantly surprised smile he wore. Harry's one purpose was to get back to Gryffindor and once he was there, Harry headed straight for the dormitory. He never got to sleep, too anxious over what would happen when he saw Draco again in the morning.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Loved something. Hated something. Tell me in a REVIEW or email me at angeldlsm00@hotmail.com
~Kiara
DISCLAIMER: I am not JK Rowling and the world of Harry Potter does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. I am making no money off this trifle of a story.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
What did Malfoy think he had been doing, anyway? He should have just kept his mouth shut and then Harry wouldn't have to worry about detention or how he and Draco were now going to find time to talk. Harry's fear was that Draco would feel the time had passed, his walls would go up, and Harry wouldn't be able to get back in. If he couldn't have Draco the way he wanted, Harry would settle for being his friend. The time they were supposed to spend talking was now going to be spent assisting Hagrid and though he liked Hagrid, Harry wanted some time with Draco to himself.
As they wrapped up dinner, Harry frowned at Ron and Hermione, both of whom were wearing the same expression in reply though for very different reasons. They stood together in a silent unison and the Gryffindor table watched as they left and headed into the entrance hall. Malfoy was already there, standing just outside the doors as the trio came out. He received glares from Ron and Hermione who linked hands and picked up pace, walking ahead to the lake. Harry hung back, allowing Draco to fall into pace next to him.
"What were you thinking today?" snapped Harry, making sure to keep his voice low as not to alert his friends. "I didn't really need another detention to add to my growing record."
"Sorry," mumbled Draco in reply as his defenses began to go up. "Its just that Snape said detention was by the lake and that's where we were supposed to meet."
"We could have decided to meet somewhere else," snapped Harry.
"Oh. You know, I didn't think that far ahead at the time. Snape just said the lake after dinner and I panicked. My first instinct was to get detention too. I wasn't thinking."
"Well that much is obvious."
"Hey," replied Draco, a little louder than intended and he dropped his voice again when Ron and Hermione glanced back at them. "No one ever said you had to get detention too."
"I didn't try," argued Harry. "All I did was ask you what you were doing."
"And then you told me to shove it," Draco finished. "I know what you said. I was there. You did try to get detention once I had mine guaranteed. Why did you do it?"
"I wanted to spend tonight with you," Harry said at length, surprised with himself for even admitting it. "Do you still want to talk tonight?"
Draco looked up at Harry, his eyes pleading as he nodded. "Yeah. I'd like that."
"Okay," Harry said, looking around to make sure no one could hear him and paying close attention to the hedges. "After detention, come back to Gryffindor tower with me. I need to get something, then we can sit by the lake and talk. I'll just tell Ron and Hermione that I need a word with you. They'll be curious but I doubt they'll ask questions until I get back and they corner me."
"Okay," agreed Draco as they breached the lake where Hagrid was already standing.
"'Ullo there," said Hagrid. "I 'eard abou' the mess yer made in Potions."
"It was Malfoy's mess," Ron retorted as he sent a glare to Draco.
"I'm sorry, okay?" Draco threw his hands up in the air. "I added too much asphodel. It's done. Over with. Move on. I was distracted. My mistake. Come off-" Draco's words stilled in his throat, visibly paling as Hagrid stepped aside to reveal a large, slimy oberdun. "Oh no. Not that thing. It tried to kill me before." Ron and Hermione could be heard sniggering.
"I've learned a bit abou' oberduns since then," said Hagrid. "Fer one, oberduns don't like it when yer poking 'em." All eyes turned to Malfoy as he hung his head.
"Fool," hissed Harry at Draco. "See what purposely getting detention does to you."
"Feel sorry for me. I have to work with the oberdun and that thing almost took off my arm last time."
"You're such a drama queen, Malfoy," accused Harry. "And no one made you poke it. You volunteered for that on your own."
Draco pouted as Hagrid began rolling facts off his tongue about oberduns. Passing out a murky plant Hagrid called a snufleweed, he told them to feed Ichabod. Draco's second encounter with the oberdun went much better then the first since he made sure to keep his fingers free of any poking action. Once it had been fed, cleaned, and played with at Hagrid's request, detention time was up and the four were freed to return to the school.
"He actually made us play with the slimy thing," drawled Draco.
"What's it to you, Malfoy?" asked Hermione. "Were you afraid of making a wrong move and really losing you arm that time?"
"Why are you following us, anyway?" Ron asked.
"I need to speak with Potter. In private," replied Draco. "Not that it's any of your business."
Ron gave an inquisitive look to Harry who merely shrugged and they stopped just outside the portrait hole. All eyes fell on Malfoy.
"What?" he asked.
"You can't hear the Gryffindor password," answered Ron.
"Oh for goodness sakes," Draco barked before wandering away from the entrance. Ron keeping one eye on Malfoy uttered the password and they entered into the common room. Harry rushed past them, heading for the dormitory. He reappeared not long after, something in his hands as he rushed out without room for questions to be asked.
Draco emerged from the shadows of the hallway, approaching as Harry came out of the portrait hole. "Its after hours," said Draco. "I don't want you to get another detention and if we get caught, we'll be in trouble. Maybe we should just forget about tonight." Sighing, Draco toed the ground with his shoe as he pulled his cloak closer around his body.
"We aren't going to get caught," said Harry, coming toward him. "I'm not going to let you get out of talking tonight. You need the release, Draco. I can tell. And I want to hear."
"Because you actually care?" asked Draco. Harry nodded his reply. "Well how do you propose we do this, Potter?"
"Like this," replied Harry, unfolding the invisibility cloak from his hands and draping it over the entire length of his body, vanishing before Malfoy. "Are you ready to trust me and go out to the lake now?" Harry's voice came from what seemed like thin air. Draco swallowed, his lips pulled into a tight, pencil thin line.
"So that explains it," Draco mumbled to himself. He approached where he had last seen Harry and he felt an arm seize his wrist, fingers wrapping around. The next thing he saw was Harry standing in front on him, both surrounded by the invisibility cloak. "You have an invisibility cloak," Draco almost shouted and Harry's hand quickly covered his mouth to silence him. "Sorry. But that explains why I saw your head floating in Hogsmeade as third years. I knew you were there! You weren't supposed to be. How'd you get past the dementors?"
"Later," replied Harry, seizing Draco's arm and dragging him in the direction of the entrance hall. They walked outside and into the night together, huddled close under the invisibility cloak, bodies pressed together due to the tight space. They walked down to the lake, taking a seat near the shore and Harry's breath caught in his throat as Draco sat down beside him, knees brushing. "Well, Malfoy? You're on."
"Okay, but first tell me about the invisibility cloak." Draco drew his knees up to his chest, eye intently set on Harry.
"I'm trusting you with this so remember that if you breathe a word of this to anyone, I'll kill you," forewarned Harry. Draco smiled, dropping his head to his knees and nodding. "It was my father's. He left it in Dumbledore's care before he died and Professor Dumbledore returned it to me as a first year. Comes in handy when I need to visit someone."
"Or sneak your enemies out to tell you their deepest, darkest secrets," added Draco, provoking a laugh from Harry. "I suppose there's a lot for me to tell, and remember, I'm trusting you with this, Harry."
Harry smiled. "I like it when you use my first name," he said. "And I'll remember."
Draco was quiet for some time. Wind could be heard howling through the air and trees. When Draco finally spoke, his voice shattered the silence. His words shattered Harry's heart. "I've thought about killing myself," admitted Draco. "I've gone over my own death in a thousand different ways. I've even gone so far as to plan it out. Even what comes after it. Sometimes it just seems that there's so much pressure on me and my shoulders can't hold up the weight. Everyone judges me because I'm a Malfoy and I try to play the part. It just gets to be too much to deal with. I can't handle all the expectations. The thing is, what if I live? My father would make things worse for me than they already are. It would mar the Malfoy name."
"Draco," interrupted Harry, putting an arm around Draco's shoulder, "if you think you're going to live, you don't really want to die."
"But I do. And my family expects so much of me. My father - my father expects so much out of me. My family wants me to be a Death Eater, my father in particular. Everyone else already thinks I am. They want me to support Voldemort but I just can't. I don't see the point in it. There's nothing I'm going to get out of it. Maybe I'm being selfish but I don't see the point. I can't lower myself to kissing Voldemort's feet and calling him Master. That's not what I want for myself. I can't survive doing that and I can't support what Voldemort stands for when it goes against everything I believe. I can't support Voldemort when he wants to kill you. Not when you're the only thing that sparks emotion in me, whether it be hate, anger, or friendship."
"What do you want, Draco?" asked Harry, his voice soft. Draco's body had shifted toward Harry's and he now held Draco cradled in his arms. "For a minute, just forget everything that's expected of you. Forget what your father wants and the general public believes. Anything is possible, Draco. What do you want?"
Silence filled the air as Draco's thoughts ran through his mind. "I want my father to speak directly to me like when I was younger instead of using servants to do the job for him. I have this crazy notion that my father should care about me and love me. I don't want to be a Death Eater and I don't want my father to be one either. I want my father to still be around when I have kids coming to Hogwarts. I don't want Voldemort to kill you. I want it all."
"I don't think you can have it all," Harry half whispered.
"I know I can't. You know what I learned last year? I learned why I really hate muggles. It has nothing to do with my father. I mean, it did when I was younger, but everything was because of my father until our third year. I don't know if its teenage rebellion or if I'm just growing up."
"I think you're just growing up."
"Maybe. Everything was so simple before. All I ever wanted to do was to please my father. Then I just couldn't do it anymore and I found myself thinking thoughts I'd never thought I'd think. I don't hate muggles, I'm just jealous. I want to be one. They have problems but things are so much simpler. If a muggle boy is expected to follow in his father's footsteps, more often than not he isn't expected to support the darkest Lord in a century. If he says no, he won't be murdered like I would be. He's at least received love in his life. You know, I keep hearing about this love but I don't buy it. I've never felt it and no one has ever felt it for me."
"Love is real," responded Harry. "My parents loved me and I love them. Love is real, Draco."
"Maybe I'm just incapable of feeling it, then. Maybe I'm incapable of receiving it." Draco sighed, the release heavy in his throat. "Harry, I've grown up through my entire life having to hear your name. It was always tried to be inbred in me to hate you. I don't though, and maybe I never did. Maybe I was just jealous or maybe I was sore because you refused to be my friend. I don't know."
"There's no reason to be jealous of me, Draco," said Harry. "My parents are dead and so I have to live with the Dursleys. They're the most awful muggles you'd ever meet. Until we got my Hogwarts letter, I had to live in a cupboard under the stairs. My uncle Vernon dragged us all over Britain trying to get away from my Hogwarts letters and Hagrid had to come and collect me. I didn't even know I was a wizard, much less a famous one, until Hagrid told me so. I thought my parents died in a car crash. And that's not even getting into my cousin, Dudley, who is just plain awful. He's wider than he is tall and his favorite recreational activity is to beat me up. I'd stay at Hogwarts forever if I could."
"Me too," Draco replied, glum. "Is it really that bad?"
"Its awful. The only good thing I have, besides Hogwarts, Ron, and Hermione, is my godfather and all I have to do to keep Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia under control is to mention him."
"Why don't you just go live with your godfather?"
"Er," replied Harry, clearing his throat. "I really can't live with him. If I were to tell you, Draco, you would have to swear you'll never utter this information to another living soul ever."
"I promise," Draco said. "I told you a bunch of stuff that you can't tell anyone. By giving out your information, you'd give out mine."
"Actually, I wouldn't. See, that's what makes me a Gryffindor and you a Slytherin."
"Very funny, Potter. I swear I won't tell anyone. That wouldn't be good karma."
"Okay, but understand that you have to mean that. Its very important that you not tell anyone what I'm about to tell you."
Draco nodded. "Okay. I couldn't tell even if I wanted to, Harry. You know too much about me now. What is it? You can tell me."
"I can't stay with my godfather," said Harry, tentatively, "because my godfather is Sirius Black."
"What?" Draco practically screamed and Harry clamped a hand over Draco's mouth. When he released, Draco's eyes were still huge with shock and surprise as he stared down Harry. "Your godfather is Sirius Black? But he's dangerous. He betrayed your parents, Harry. He's an escaped prisoner from Azkaban. He was after you. He killed thirteen people with-"
"He was innocent," finished Harry. "Sirius never committed those murders. Peter Pettigrew did and he also sold out my parents. Now he's supporting Voldemort and he's the only person I hate almost as much."
"He was innocent?" asked Draco, still wide eyed.
"Yes. I keep in contact with him. Only Snape, Lupin, Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, and the Weasleys know," warned Harry. "You can't let it slip to anyone."
"I won't," Draco assured, still in shock. Harry stared at him for some time in silence before he began to shake with laughter and Draco's eyes narrowed, staring at him. "What?"
"When I was thinking about Sirius, my thoughts drifted to Snape. From there I went to Potions and then I was thinking about Potions today," Harry explained between laughs. "You should have seen your face. I can't believe you actually did that to Ron's cauldron."
"I know," responded Draco, laughing as well. "I didn't think I was capable of that. My mind was distracted by other matters. Matters like tonight's meeting."
"Indeed. And by the way, that was a nice comeback you used. 'Wait until my father hears about this,'" Harry said in a dead on impersonation of Draco.
"It was the first thing that came to mind. I panicked."
"Its just funny that was the first thing to come to your mind," Harry said as Draco yawned. "Tired?"
"Very. I'm going to sleep straight through all my classes tomorrow and everyone is going to think I've barricaded myself in the common room and won't come out again."
"Lets go in then," suggested Harry and they stood together, careful to make sure that they were completely covered. "I'll walk you to the dungeons so you can stay under the invisibility cloak." Draco nodded in acknowledgment and they stood up together and headed in to school. "So why wouldn't you come out of your room, anyway?"
Draco hesitated, and then said, voice small, "Originally, I intended to end it, just kill myself, but I couldn't go through with it. My head hurt so much and I couldn't concentrate so I decided to stay in and get some alone time to sort things out. Deal with my almost suicide attempt. I told everyone to let the teachers know I was staying in the common room for the day and everyone blew it out of proportion. I barely had time to admit to myself that I didn't want to die before the professors started showing up. Dumbledore even suggested calling my father. He'd have had my hide for that stunt."
"If it means something, I'm glad you didn't kill yourself," admitted Harry. "I was worried about you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," answered Harry as they arrived just outside the Slytherin common room. "Draco? Can I tell you something?"
"I guess so," replied Draco. "I mean, we are friends now, right? I really think we have to be. You know too much."
"We are friends now," Harry answered. "You know too much." Pausing, Harry briefly entertained the idea of running from Draco but his feet didn't want to cooperate and remained planted on the ground. "You may hate me for this but I have to tell you. The thing is, I fancy you. I fancy you in the way that Ron fancies Hermione. In a way I know I shouldn't fancy you. I want you. You can hate me all you want but please don't say anything now. Let me go to bed with one more chance to think that you don't hate me," Harry spat out, giving Draco no room for a word in edgewise. "Think this over tonight and we'll talk it over in the morning. Goodnight."
Pulling the invisibility cloak from Draco, Harry sped off toward Gryffindor without giving a backward look. He never saw Draco's shocked face nor the pleasantly surprised smile he wore. Harry's one purpose was to get back to Gryffindor and once he was there, Harry headed straight for the dormitory. He never got to sleep, too anxious over what would happen when he saw Draco again in the morning.
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