Kym: No one has ever discouraged me. Not to be arrogant, but I know I'm a good writer. I'm not the best, but there is some real crap out there. People who flame are ignorant.
Wulfchik: Draco Malfoy and Marge in the same house? Of course something bad is going to happen.
Kelly: I know how much I hate it when people take forever to post and so I try to post as often as possible. I could post more often than I do, but I don't like to rush things. Anyway, glad you're loving it as much as I am.
Tine: Draco didn't hit Dudley because he was so intrigued by the Smelting stick and the thought of hitting Finch-Fletchley with it.
Demon Huntress: I will not be adding anything with Sirius in this story but right now I'm writing a story called 'Falling' which I have mentioned before and once that is finished, I'm writing the prequel, which will be in the MWPP time period. I could certainly add a love interest for Sirius into that one. If you'd like to talk more on this subject (because, frankly, I love talking to fellow Harry Potter fans, especially when they like my writing) you can email me at angeldlsm00@hotmail.com. I'd love to hear from you.
ShadowsLight: Okay, I know I'm a good writer but I'm not that good. Really.
Charon: To be honest, the idea of Harry Potter slash freaked me out at first, too. Then I started seeing how it would work. And let's face it, fifteen year old boys are horny as fuck. Thanks for all the wonderful comments. I don't deserve all that but I'll take it anyway! *grins*
Fancy: Isn't Draco a dear? It's grand to see someone put Dudley in his place, isn't it?
SparkleMoonBunny: You wrote about me? *fans self* Why, I don't know what to say.
Kiwi Walpole: *Runs from battery*
Daelan: My sister Jennifer, or Niffer for short, knows how all my stories end. She works right with me on all my stories and helps me come up with my crazy ideas along with her twin, Staci. My sisters rock.
To everyone else who reads/reviews. Thanks. I appreciate it. It is more than I deserve.
Forgive my mistakes, for I hate spellcheck.
Disclaimer: If I were JK Rowling, I'd be doing something constructive like finishing the fifth book instead of writing about Draco tormenting the Dursleys. I don't own Harry Potter though I wish I did. However, it is probably a good thing that I don't because I might get arrested for sexually assaulting the boy. Still making no money as alas I am broke.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The morning that Aunt Marge was expected to arrive, Harry and Draco had to make sure to be up extra early and dressed for when Uncle Vernon would go to pick her up just after breakfast. Since Uncle Vernon would be leaving soon, Aunt Petunia hadn't made a breakfast for Harry or Draco and they were left to make their own food while she cleaned the living room for Marge's arrival.
Harry had already eaten and was brushing his teeth when he heard a loud beeping wafting up the stairs and into the bathroom.
"Harry!"
Harry's eyes got wide. He spit out the foam that was building in his mouth, gave a quick rinse, and ran to the top of the stairs.
"Draco!"
"Why is this thing beeping?"
"What thing?"
"This round thing. It's beeping."
"Where are you, Draco?"
"The kitchen."
Harry groaned. "Is it white?"
"Yeah."
"Flat?"
"It's sort of thick but the front is flat."
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to make toast."
Harry climbed down the stairs, running into Aunt Petunia on the way, and walked into the kitchen to see Draco holding a plate of very burnt toast. Dudley was sitting at the table, smirking and laughing at Draco's failed attempt to do something as simple as toast bread. As Harry discarded the burnt toast, Aunt Petunia turned off the smoke alarm, glared at Draco, and left the room.
"What am I going to do when you have to leave?" mused Harry. "I won't have you to protect me and scare them away."
"But you still have your wand," said Draco. "So what was that thing beeping?"
"That was a smoke alarm. It goes off when it detects smoke."
"Why would anyone want to keep something like that in their house?"
"Because it would alert you if there was a fire and potentially save your life."
"I see. And does this run on electricity?"
"It has wires but it has a battery that it runs on."
"I see. But no light bobs."
"Light bulbs, and no. It doesn't have a light bulb."
"Pity."
Draco continued to stare at the smoke alarm as Harry made him two new slices of unburnt toast.
~*~
"Okay, who's the light bulb thief?" demanded Harry, walking into the living room where Aunt Petunia, Dudley, and a very fascinated Draco were watching television.
"What are you talking about?" said Aunt Petunia.
"I'm talking about the missing light bulb from the bathroom. That's the fifth light bulb in the last two weeks. I want to know who's stealing all the light bulbs." He gave a pointed glare at Dudley.
"Don't look at me," his cousin sneered at him. "Maybe it was your boyfriend. He's so fascinated by them."
"What use could I possibly have for a light bob?" snapped Draco. "Who do you think I am? Arthur Weasley?"
"Who?"
"Nevermind."
Aunt Petunia stood up from the couch and began to go look for the box of light bulbs.
"I know it was you, Dudley," said Harry. "You and the entire neighborhood gang have a light bulb stealing penchant. Whose brilliant idea was this? Piers?"
"It wasn't me and don't talk to me like that. I'll tell mum and dad."
"And I'll hex you."
"Now, now," said Draco, stepping between them. "Let's not quarrel now. Harry, leave the hexing to me. You're much better at sticking your nose where it doesn't belong and catching the Snitch."
"But you caught the Snitch."
"I told you I was sorry for that."
"You really owe me. You didn't get me a Christmas present-"
"Yes I did! I stopped complaining about my ugly scar."
"Oh, right. Well, you caught the Snitch and destroyed my self confidence, and my birthday is coming up."
"Well I just about sacrificed my life for you so we're even."
Harry paused. "I can't really fight that one."
Aunt Petunia came back into the room and bustled the three to stand by the door. Harry had warned Draco about Aunt Marge for the past two weeks and neither one of them was especially looking forward to the occasion.
"How long is she going to be here?" asked Draco.
"A week," answered Aunt Petunia, peeking out the curtains at the neighbors who were outside. There was no sign yet of Uncle Vernon or Aunt Marge. "And you will both be civil to her." Her eyes lingered on Draco.
"Why am I constantly being told to be civil to people?" asked Draco, looking up at Harry. "I always get the feeling that everyone thinks I'm the one who's going to be rude."
"There's a reason for that, Draco."
"I'm not rude, am I?"
"It all depends on what you call 'rude'."
"Am I rude?"
"Sometimes."
"Oh." He shrugged. "Not that I care."
"Which is part of why you're rude."
"That's very interesting. I never knew. Well, I sort of knew, but I didn't know."
Aunt Petunia turned around to huff and give Draco a glare. "Would you hold your tongue? Marge will be here soon and this bickering between the two of you is going to need to stop. She will not know about you queer affiliation or your abnormality."
"Abnormality?" asked Draco.
"The wizard thing."
Harry loved the look his aunt and uncle got when he used the forbidden words and they couldn't do anything about it for fear Harry would hex them. Even worse, Harry thought, was their fear that Draco would be the one who hexed them, angry that they had insulted his boyfriend. After Draco showed his true Malfoy colors with the genuine interest in the now long lost Smelting stick that Harry presumed Dudley sat on, Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia were a bit more careful around him. It was as if they saw his bully side was a little too much like theirs for comfort and the Slytherin in Draco was keeping them cowering, not even able to yell when the 'm' word was used. Harry wondered how long Draco was going to last with Aunt Marge. He was loving this.
"Here they come and do something about your hair," she snapped at Harry. Draco smoothed back a loose strand in his perfectly arranged mass of blond hair. Harry just glared at her and left his hair the way it was. "Get the door, Harry; don't just stand there."
Harry pulled open the door, looking at Draco as if she had just told him to try one of Neville Longbottom's potions. Draco got his first glimpse of Aunt Marge standing on the threshold with her large suitcase in one hand and bulldog tucked under her other arm.
Shoving her suitcase into Harry's stomach, she cried, "Dudders!" and threw her arm around Dudley. Harry glared at Dudley and he didn't miss the impressed smirk Draco wore when Dudley wound up with a twenty pound note clutched in his fist.
"Petunia!" she roared and they kissed cheeks, Aunt Marge bumping her large jaw against Aunt Petunia's bony horse-like cheek.
"Who are you?" she finally asked, eyes landing on Draco.
"Draco Malfoy," he replied.
"What?"
"My name is Draco Malfoy."
"A friend of Harry's," said Uncle Vernon, laughing as he clapped a fat hand on Harry's thin shoulder causing him to slightly teeter. "They go to school together."
"What kind of name is Draco Malfoy?" she asked.
"What kind of name is Marge Dursley?" replied Draco.
"Well I can see that St. Brutus's is doing nothing for you, either."
"Tea, Marge?" Uncle Vernon intervened before Draco could possibly use the word 'Hogwarts'.
"Yes," she replied, barreling past Draco and into kitchen. Everyone had followed her leaving Harry alone to heave the suitcase up the stairs, all the while cursing about Draco disappearing into that kitchen door. For once, he actually wanted to get back as soon as possible before he missed anything.
As Harry wandered back into the kitchen, he saw Draco smirking at him from across the room, sipping tea lazily. No major damage seemed to have occurred while he was gone and Aunt Marge was just explaining that Colonel Fubster was watching her dogs again when Harry sat down next to Draco.
"Haven't you gone yet?" she barked and Harry jumped in his seat to see Aunt Marge staring at him.
"Not yet," he replied.
"Still ungrateful, I see. Vernon, Petunia, you should really look into a more severe school in this boy's case. If this school hasn't knocked any manners into him yet, drastic measures need to be taken."
"What is everyone's issue with Harry's manners?" asked Draco.
"So, Marge! How are the dogs?" asked Uncle Vernon but her eyes were still narrowly set on Draco.
"What did you say, boy?"
"I said-"
"Oh you want to go outside, do you?" said Uncle Vernon. "Go right ahead, then, Draco. You, too, Harry. Go."
"No, I think I'd like them to stay," barked Aunt Marge. "As you were saying."
Uncle Vernon started to shred his napkin.
"I was saying that I didn't understand what everyone's issues with Harry's manners were all about. I think he has perfectly good manners. If anyone around here has been rude, then Madam, I believe it has been you."
"Or it could have been you," hissed Harry. Draco's eyes narrowed.
"I was defending you. The least you could do is not insult me while I do so."
"No, I think that Harry was right for the first time. You are rather rude. Have you been beaten at St. Brutus's?" Uncle Vernon tried to speak but Aunt Marge silenced him.
"I should think not," snapped Draco. "If I even attended this St. Brutus's that you all speak of, then perhaps I would, but I don't even attend a school by the name of St. Brutus's and neither does Harry."
"Well where do you attend?"
"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and I should ask you not to speak to me in that tone of voice again."
"Hagwats School of what?" she bellowed.
"It's not Hagwats, it's Hogwarts, and it's for witches and wizards. I am a wizard and I'm not going to pretend that I'm not just because you muggles have issues with magic. Honestly, Harry, I don't know how you ever dealt with this. I'd've cracked a long time ago."
"You're cracking now," he pointed out.
"This is true. And we'll we're so hot on the subject of things we aren't supposed to tell you, Marge, both Harry and I are bisexuals. We've been together for almost eight months. I think that about covers all the high points, don't you think?"
"Could you be any curter?" asked Harry, rubbing his temples.
"Oh come on, Harry. This is your chance. Don't you have years and years of pent up things you want to say to these people? Whip out your wand and say them. If they make any sudden movements, hex them. Or use one of the Unforgivables. I recommend Imperius because it's the only one that I haven't had thrown at me over Easter dinner."
"Charming, Draco."
"Excuse us," said Draco, wand in hand and smirking as he pulled Harry out of the room and up the staircase.
~*~
Most of Marge's visit had included discussing what a freak Harry and Draco were because of their abnormality and Draco tended to not like being around Marge. One dinner on the fourth day of her visit, they had been eating at the table and Draco began to sneeze uncontrollably. He later claimed that he was allergic to Marge and tried to get her to go away. Draco was at the point where he didn't go anywhere in the Dursley house without one hand on his wand because if Uncle Vernon's face got any more purple, Harry thought he would turn into a grape.
"You know what I've been so scared your uncle is going to do?" said Draco on the night of the fifth day Marge was there. They were both lying on Harry's bed, spooning with Draco in back.
"What?"
"I've been so afraid that he's going to get past that fear of magic and break my wand in half."
Harry laughed. "Is that why you carry it with you everywhere?"
"I sleep with it, too."
"You're so funny."
"I seriously fear this, Harry. Don't mock me."
"I'm not mocking you. I think you're cute."
"Well as long as I'm being cute while you're mocking me -" he said in a rather harsh and biting tone.
"I'm not mocking you."
"Yeah, okay."
"I wasn't. Really, now, Draco. You take offense far too easily."
"Harry?"
"What?"
"How much longer are we going to have to be here?"
"You? Two weeks. Me? Well-"
"We could charm my trunk so that I could fit you in it and I'll take you back to school with me."
"We could. We aren't going to. But we could all the same."
Draco sighed. "I don't think your family likes me very much."
"Your family didn't like me, either. It's only fair."
"This is true. At least you uncle didn't invite anyone over to try and murder me, though I think he would if he weren't so afraid that I'd put a curse on him. That Aunt Marge of yours, however, is almost as bad as having Voldemort stroll into Easter dinner. Honestly. Could she be any more ignorant?"
"She could try," said Harry, laughing. "I don't know what I'm going to do when you leave. Life has actually been bearable with the Dursleys with you here. . .Well there's something I never thought I'd say. I mean, me, the Dursleys, and Draco Malfoy. Not exactly the picture perfect image I would have had in mind."
Draco also laughed at this. "I suppose not, but here I am. Fascinating lives muggles live. I rather enjoy them in general, though these Dursleys have given me a very bad impression of muggles. I should hope that not all muggles are like the Dursleys."
"Not at all. I quite enjoy co-existing in both worlds. It's hard to convert completely to the wizard world when you've grown up muggle."
"I presumed as much. One of the reasons I thought that muggle-borns shouldn't be allowed into Hogwarts."
"Muggle-borns? What happened to 'mudbloods'?"
Draco groaned. "Hermione Granger. I hate you, Potter. Go and make me be civil to your friends and now I'm friends with them and taking Muggle Studies next year."
"You're not!"
Draco slightly flushed. "I am. I talked to Dumbledore and Snape about it a few days before we left. I should like to learn exactly how this electricity works."
"Well good for you. Stepping out of the darkness?"
"You know what? I think I am. I've been this lost and confused kid for so long and now everything feels - well - peaceful. My mind's finally becoming clear. I don't know who I am exactly but I know there's more to me than being a Malfoy. I know that I want to live. I know that it wasn't my fault that my father didn't love me."
Harry smiled. "You have no idea how good it makes me feel to hear you say that."
"You have no idea how good it makes me feel to be able to say that."
"So what do we do tomorrow? Blow up Aunt Marge again?"
"It would only be the second time for you. It would be my first. In addition to be a virgin in the sexual connotation, I'm also a virgin to aunt inflation, though I really would like to do that to my Aunt Circe."
"Could be fun. We could also get into a lot of trouble by the ministry."
"When has getting into trouble ever stopped you before?"
"Good question."
"I suggest that we chase her around with our wands screaming nonsense words and then you can teach me about the computer."
"The computer might be a little advanced for you, Draco."
"Come on, now, Harry. I know about the fellytone and light bobs."
"Telephone and light bulbs. Honestly, Draco. No, I think we should stick to small things."
"But I want to learn about the computer."
"But you want to take everything that you learn about apart."
"I'm still upset that you wouldn't let me see the electricity in the batteries."
"You still don't understand, Draco. You can't see electricity. This is why I won't let you learn about the computer."
"Maybe before we leave?"
"Maybe."
Harry and Draco lay in silence before Harry drifted off and fell asleep.
~*~
The last two days of Marge's visit had been eventful to say the least. Draco made it a point to pop up wherever Marge went and wave his wand around as he spoke with wild hand gestures and gesticulations. The Dursleys would stare at him with wide eyes as if any second he would spit out a curse and they would all turn into some sort of rodent or reptile. Dudley was clutching his bottom more furiously than ever and Harry loved every minute of it, basking in the warmth of having Draco there to keep him sane.
Only two light bulbs managed to vanish while Marge was there and Aunt Petunia quickly replaced them before Marge got wind of the missing light bulb fiasco that was occurring in the Dursley home. Harry still thought it was Dudley and Dudley still thought it was Draco. Both his aunt and uncle thought it was Harry and that was why he was making such a show about the missing light bulbs. In reality, Harry was just thoroughly annoyed with walking into a room, trying to turn on a light, and being greeted by an empty socket.
After Marge left, Draco had become decidedly more cheerful but neither Aunt Petunia nor Uncle Vernon reprimanded him for his behavior around Marge or the things that he had told her. Some things, details about the Slytherin house and trouble Harry had gotten into, Harry didn't even want to be hearing. Even though he was a freak, one of Harry's kind, and greatly feared, it seemed that the Dursleys minus Marge thought Draco was impressive. Marge didn't trust him. She said he was far too small to be purebred. Harry liked to forget about the venomous attack Draco had assaulted on her when that one came out and Harry had to confiscate his wand so that Draco didn't kill her right there on the spot.
After much prodding by Draco, Harry had finally caved and tried to teach him the computer. Draco didn't get the concept of the Internet in the slightest and when the page opened up to a search engine, Draco put his name in for a search. All the matches were on the constellation. Harry was eager to pull him away after the ten minutes it took Draco to even type his name into the box. He just didn't understand the concept of the SHIFT key.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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