Dying Lands
Soundtrack: I Will Remember You (Sarah McLaughlin)
I will remember you,
will you remember me?
don't let your life pass you by,
weep not for the memories.
Remember the good times
that we had
we let them slip away from us when things got bad
clearly I first saw you smiling in the sun
I could feel your warmth upon me
I wouldn't be alone.
I will remember you
will you remember me?
don't let your life pass you by
weep not for the memories.
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
standing on the edge of something much too deep
it's funny how we feel so much but cannot say a word
we are screaming inside but we can't be heard.
I will remember you
will you remember me?
don't let your life pass you by
weep not for the memories.
I'm so afraid to love you but more afraid to lose
clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
once there was a darkness deep and endless night
you gave me everything you had oh you gave me light.
And I will remember you
will you remember me?
don't let your life pass you by
weep not for the memories.
And I will remember you
will you remember me?
don't let life pass you by
weep not for the memories
weep not for the memories...
After a long shower, and a clean change of clothes, even my sensitive nose could no longer detect the sewage smell of the Hudson. I emerged from the bedroom to see Gabe sitting at the table, apparently lost in thought. He seemed a good deal graver than he'd been but an hour before.
I'd wandered Middle-Earth for years with Gimli son of Gloin. I remembered the legendary mood swings of the Dwarves. This was probably not good. I tried to tease him from his thoughts. "I see no food yet, my hard-headed friend."
Gabe glanced up at me, his eyes dark. "I've been thinking, Legolas," he began gravely. "Of a matter of importance. What happened to the Undying Lands?"
I couldn't suppress a pang of the old sadness when he spoke of the ancient place. The distant land where the elves should have been safe forever.
"The Undying Lands," I repeated, striving unsuccessfully to keep the bitterness from my voice. "What do you remember of that place, Gimli? You were there, as was I."
He didn't flinch at my tone. "Very little," he admitted. "I recall it as one does a dream, shadowed and half-forgotten. I remember that we went together, and I was happy. That it was a place of so much peace..." he trailed off. "But I do not remember what happened in the end."
"In the end?" By the Valar, this was more difficult than I'd expected. All the old memories could still hurt me, as if they were fresh and not millennia old. "You died, Gimli. Not even the Undying Lands, despite their name, can keep a mortal alive forever."
He opened his mouth to interrupt, but I plowed on. "Certainly, you lived far beyond the lifespan of a normal dwarf. But one day I looked, and you were gone...and I couldn't find you, my friend. You had faded away, and I didn't know where you had gone."
I closed my eyes, remembering my anguished scream when I had lost the one I considered a part of my family. I had screamed and screamed, and I knew that, somewhere, there was a canyon in my mind where that scream still echoed.
A callused hand gripped mine tightly, and I opened my eyes to see Gimli gazing levelly at me. The grief I had momentarily felt receded, and I continued with my tale:
"Such is the fate of all, I suppose, to fade away to nothingness. Even the elves will one day be subject to this, the end of everything." I shrugged away the pessimistic thought. "The Undying lands simply disappeared, over time. The magic that protected our sanctuary weakened, and Men came and dwelt in our land, never suspecting the greatness that had once been there. And after that, there is little to say," I concluded. "Many elves go on, living in the shadows of the human world. Some, like Galadriel and Elrond, work actively to protect the human race from its own follies. Others, like me, are wanderers, taking nothing from the world and giving nothing back." I smiled humorlessly. "I am not much of a mighty elven prince anymore."
Gimli shook his head vehemently. "I do not believe that, Legolas."
"Why not?"
"If you weren't the noble elf I remember, you wouldn't care so damned much."
"What do you mean?"
"Durin's folk have disappeared from this world, and by your own word your kindred have let you go. But there is yet one dwarf who knows you well, and he sits here, speaking to you now, despite his odd raiment." At this, he gestured to his own very human face, grimacing, and I couldn't help but smile a bit.
He continued, warming to his subject. "You voice your cynicism, but if you did not care of the fate of the world, I wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be seeking the members of an ancient Fellowship, and you certainly wouldn't let a bothersome dwarf in your home to eat all your food."
I grinned, feeling more like myself again.
"Not to mention," he concluded grandly, "you wouldn't be wandering the slums of Necropolis looking for hobbits-reborn-as-humans, whom you'll most likely have to bribe just to get them here."
I threw back my head and laughed. "You are much more eloquent now, my friend, than you were thirty thousand years ago. Humanity agrees with you."
He scowled at me. "No, I just have to teach huge classes of young people with fifteen second attention spans. I've got to be eloquent."
I shook my head, amused, and his scowl was replaced by his customary smile. We sat like this for some time, in companionable silence.
"I've got to go," I said finally, "I've hobbits to find."
"What should I get to eat?" he asked.
I looked at him incredulously. "Food? They might be human now, but they were hobbits *once*, for Valar's sake. They'll probably eat anything. Just buy lots of it."
He shrugged, and headed for the door. I called to him, suddenly, and he stopped. "I missed you when you died," I blurted out, and immediately felt like an idiot. How stupid was that statement? My face felt hot, and I knew I was bright red.
To my surprise, he didn't laugh at me. "I know, my brother," he replied, voice uncharacteristically soft.
Then he grinned. "Hey, I didn't know elves could blush! And I missed you too, even if I was dead."
I began to roll my eyes at this but he wasn't finished: "Besides, you say you miss me now, but just wait a couple of days. I snore. Loudly. How's that fine elvish hearing of yours? You won't be missing me then, no way, elf-boy."
Then he sauntered out of the apartment, and my laughter followed him down the stairs.