Not JK Rowling.  Don't own Harry Potter.  Anything you recognize is hers, anything you don't is mine including the plot and Mr. Joel Montgomery.  I am making no money off this trifle of a story.

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Walking out of the elevator, Draco stepped out onto his floor and turned left as he headed for his apartment.  Reaching number 1512, the last door on the left before reaching the stairwell, Draco inserted his key, turned, and upon hearing a click, turned the knob to walk in.

The light was on and Draco figured Joel was home and somewhere wandering around the apartment.  For a moment he stood in the doorway staring at the large black garbage bag sitting in the middle of the living room with small cardboard boxes poking at the top.  Next to it was another garbage bag of what seemed like empty gallons of milk.

Shaking his head, Draco shut the door behind him and took his coat off to hang on the hooks by the door.  He headed for the living room, tossing his keys to the kitchen table right by the door and was greeted with a loud bang.  Stopping in his tracks, Draco turned to see the kitchen table had lost a leg and had fallen over onto the tile.

Draco cocked an eyebrow.  "Joel!"  There was a rustling heard behind the bathroom door and Draco tried to look around the corner of the kitchen counter to see the bathroom door.  "Joel!"

The door opened and Joel Montgomery emerged dressed in green boxer shorts with a print of powdered toast on it, a frilly white and pink striped apron, and remnants of what looked like a creamy substance caked on his apron, hands, and face.

"What?"

Draco stared at his roommate, mouth opened and eyes bugged making him look very much like a fish.  "Nevermind."

Joel licked his index finger.  "No really.  What is it?"

"What were you doing?"

"Making pudding in the bathtub," replied Joel.

"Our bathtub?"

"Well yeah.  I'm not going to go down the hall and ask old Mister Prewitt if I can use his bathtub.  Besides, can you imagine how gross that would be?  Don't worry, though.  I cleaned the tub with dish soap very thoroughly before I began."

Draco had been rendered speechless.  "Er - okay.  How did you go about making pudding in a bathtub?  Don't you need to put that stuff in the refrigerator?"

"Yeah so I went out and bought three air conditioners.  I had to go into your cash stash a bit but don't worry, I'll pay you back."

"What are we going to do with three air conditioners after you're finished with your pudding?  Where did you even find air conditioners?  It's almost December!"

"I have my ways," Joel said with a wink.  "And I'm sure we'll find something to do with them.  I'll come up with something.  Just give me two weeks and a lot of vodka."

"Charming."

"So what did you want me for anyway?"

Draco shifted his gaze from Joel to the lopsided kitchen table.  "All I did was put my keys on the table and it came crashing to the ground."

"Oh yeah," replied Joel, unfazed.  "There's a bottle of super glue in the drawer under the counter."

"What?"

"I've been fixing that leg for years."

"How did I not notice this?"

Joel shrugged.  "I don't know.  You don't spend enough time in the apartment I guess."

"Why don't you just get a new table?"

"Because super glue is cheaper," said Joel as if that were the most obvious response.

"Of course.  Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you don't have my superior level of intelligence."  Joel stared at Draco and the table, shrugged and headed back for the bathroom.  "I'll let you know when it's done.  You're going to have to try this."

Visibly shuddering at the thought of trying any of Joel's cooking much less cooking from the bathtub, Draco headed for the drawers under the counter that separated the kitchen and the living room.  Thinking it would be so much easier if he could just go get his wand, a thought that frequented his mind during the day, Draco opened a drawer, shrieked, and shut it again.

"Not the one on the left!" Joel called from behind the closed bathroom door.  "There's something living in that drawer.  I think it's a demon rat!"

"That was not a rat!  I've seen rats and that was not a rat!"

"That's why I said it was a demon rat," replied Joel.  "It's been in there for about three weeks.  I'm trying to suffocate it but you just gave it oxygen so I think its going to be around for a good two months.  Or three.  I don't know the anatomy and life expectancy of demon rats.  Just keep the drawer on the left shut.  Maybe then it will die."

"Right," Draco mumbled to himself as he pulled open the drawer on the right.  Before beginning his search for the super glue, he extracted a roll of masking tape, held it momentarily, and then began to tape the other drawer shut.  Once he was satisfied that the demon rat would not escape, he began digging through rolls of tape, post its, pens, pencils, and other various office supplies until finding the bottle of super glue.  "This is insane."

He wandered over to the lopsided table, dropped to his knees, and searched through the debris for the missing table leg.  Once it was extracted from the ruins, Draco propped the table on his back and began smearing the super glue onto both the leg and the table where they were supposed to meet.  Shoving the leg back onto the table, Draco wedged it into place and crawled out from beneath the table.  As soon as he let go of the edge, the entire table went toppling over again and Draco tried the method a second time.

"It's not working, Joel!"

The bathroom door opened a second time and Joel emerged once again.  "How many times did you try it?"

"Three."

"Oh."  Joel shrugged.  "Okay then.  I guess we do need a new table.  Come on, help me throw it out the window."

"Out the window?  Joel, we're fifteen stories high."

"What's your point?"

Rolling his eyes, Draco said, "That we can't just chuck it out the window."

"Sure we can.  Go down to the street and make sure you clear the way.  Then we just hoist the thing out."

"Or we could break the table apart, put the pieces in a trash bag, and throw it away."

Joel's eyes brightened.  "We can break the table into pieces?"  Recognizing Joel's appetite for destruction, Draco nodded.  "Excellent.  We'll do that.  First, come try my pudding.  It's good.  Really.  Just grab a spoon and come on.  I like it, anyway."

"That isn't saying much," said Draco.  "What flavor?"

"Vanilla."

Shrugging, Draco walked out from behind the table, grabbed a plastic spoon from their big bin of plastic wear on the counter, and headed into the bathroom behind Joel.  The bathtub was filled close to the brim with Jell-O instant vanilla pudding and Joel sat down on the toilet, reached in with his fingers, and took a handful.  After his old friends Crabbe and Goyle back at Hogwarts, Joel was like having dinner with Miss Manners herself.

"Good," said Draco after sampling some of the dessert.  "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"What do you plan on doing with all this pudding?"

Joel seemed lost for a moment then shrugged.  "I don't know.  Eat it, I guess.  I mean, I guess we have to do something with it.  How about we store it in here with the air conditioners going and use Samantha's bathroom until we get it cleaned out?"

"Samantha is going to lose it when you tell her what you did," said Draco.

"Oh come on.  It's a bathtub full of pudding.  It's like my fucking dream come true, man.  Its like, a whole bathtub of pudding.  That's a lot of pudding, man.  Shit, son, its like-"

"Are you okay?"

"I will be."  Joel grinned and a large dollop of pudding seethed from his teeth.  "So how was work?"

"Eh," he replied, shrugging.

"That good, huh?"

"Well, you know.  Gwen's great but I could do without the holier than thou business executive attitude customers get when they come in, order their latte mocha whatever and look at me like I'm scum because I work at a coffee house and they're a bunch of stock brokers."

"Wall Street rears its ugly head," said Joel, laughing.  "So where's Cherish tonight?"

"Melody said she'd bring her by late tonight."

Joel hesitated in speaking, opened his mouth as if he were going to speak, and then thought better of it by shutting it again.

"What?" asked Draco.  "Why is it that whenever Melody gets brought up, people start acting like something's wrong?"

Sighing, Joel leaned back and pulled off the apron, letting it fall to the floor.  "How are things between you and Mel?  I mean, I don't know, she seems kind of distant lately.  She's been keeping Cherish a lot more and letting you have her a lot less and - I don't know, Draco - I guess I just don't trust her."

"You've noticed that, too?"

Joel shrugged.  "Its hard not to.  You know, Sam told me that Mel was complaining because she feels that you don't really love her and Cherish.  It's like, you two have this kid and-shit, I don't know.  Sam and I think she's waiting for you to propose."

"I know she is," said Draco, closing his eyes and dropping his head in his hands.  "I can't do that, Joel.  Honestly, and shit this is difficult for me to say, she isn't completely wrong when she says that I don't love her.  I don't love Mel in a romantic notion.  I love her as a friend but-" Draco sighed.

"Is this about the mystery ex?"  Draco nodded.  "I don't know who this person was but Draco, man, you really need to get over her.  Or him.  Or whatever.  Sheep.  Goat. Small child.  I don't care.  You need to get over it and move on otherwise you're never going to fall in love again.  Mel doesn't deserve this."

"I know that.  I love Cherish.  I love her to death.  I just can't love Mel.  She's a great friend but she isn't - well."  Draco rubbed at his eyes because no, he was not going to allow himself to think about Harry.  Thinking about Harry led to missing Harry.  Missing Harry only led to confused emotions barreling through him at a speed far too rapid for his head to keep up.  Harry was a part of the old life and he was embracing the adage of out with the old, in with the new.

"I thought I could fall in love with her one day," said Draco.  "Maybe I just need more time."

"Maybe," said Joel.  "You feel the need to get out your frustrations?"

"Yes.  Please."

"Then come on.  We got a kitchen table to destroy."  Joel gave Draco a sly grin before disappearing into the living room.  Draco followed, looking at the garbage bags still in the middle of the room containing the packaging for enough pudding to fill a bathtub. 

"A penchant for pudding and an appetite for destruction," Draco mused.

Joel emerged from his bedroom in a pair of faded jeans and a tight black t-shirt.  His dark brown hair was hanging just over his eyes.  In each of his hands was a mallet.  Reaching out, Draco took a mallet from Joel and they began to hack away at the table.  Pieces of wood were flying about as Draco channeled all of his emotion into his arms, swinging wildly at the table and imagining he was beating himself for all the stupid decisions he had ever made.  He should have never broken up with Harry.  He should have never let himself get involved with someone else so soon.  He should have never slept with Melody because now he had a daughter and though he wouldn't trade her for the world, it made the new life that much more complicated.

Through the pounding, they never noticed the door opening and shutting until someone cleared their throat and Draco and Joel turned to see Samantha and Melody standing by the door.  Samantha was holding a paper bag of groceries and Melody was cradling a sleeping Cherish in her arms.

"What are you doing?" asked Samantha, staring at Draco and Joel sitting in the splintered remains of their kitchen table.

"Our table broke," explained Draco.

"Looks to me like you were the ones breaking it," said Melody and Draco stood up to give her a kiss.  Taking Cherish out of her arms, he carried her into his bedroom to lay her in her crib before returning to the kitchen where Joel was explaining their motives.

"And we couldn't glue the leg back on so Draco suggested we break it up and throw the pieces away."

"It was already broken," said Draco.

"Well it's about time," said Samantha as she set the groceries on the counter.  "You've been gluing that leg on for years.  I knew that one of these days it just wasn't going to hold anymore."  She paused as she reached into the bag.  "Do I smell pudding?"

"Yep.  I made it myself," said Joel.

"In the bathtub," added Draco.

"No shit!" cried Samantha.  "What kind?"

"Vanilla," said Joel.

"Let me at it."  Samantha grabbed a spoon and went running for their bathroom.  Draco, Melody, and Joel followed.

"So how did you make vanilla pudding in your bathtub," Melody asked, leaning against the doorway and smiling as she felt Draco's arms wrap around her waist.

"Lots and lots of instant pudding and milk," was Joel's reply.

"He bought three air conditioners," said Draco.

"I needed a refrigeration effect."

"It felt more like a freezer."

"Hey, it was a lot of pudding.  I was impatient."

"Joel, you are one of the strangest people I know and that is saying something."

"Are you saying you know a lot of freaks?" asked Samantha as she ate the pudding.

Draco shrugged.  "Let's just say they were hard to avoid when I was living in England."

"You have to take us there someday," said Melody.  "We could all go on vacation together.  You could show us where you grew up and everything."

Forcing a smile, Draco said, "Maybe one day when I can get over what happened."

"Do you honestly think your father is still angry?" asked Melody as they left the bathroom and headed back to the kitchen.

"I know that my father is still furious," replied Draco.  "What is that?"

"Soup.  Sam and I thought you and Joel may be hungry.  Are you?"

"I'm always hungry," Joel said, sitting down at the counter.  Samantha heated up the four bowls of soup in the microwave before handing them out and they sat at the counter to eat since the table was now destroyed.

"So what's up with you, Joel?" asked Melody.  "Still working on that short story."

"Yes," groaned Joel.  "I think my characters hate me.  I got a check in the mail today for a publication of one of my articles in Playboy."

"You know what the sad thing about Joel is?" said Draco.  "He actually isn't lying when he says he buys Playboy for the articles."

"It may be a nudie magazine but it has got some fine literature," replied Joel.  "Pays well, too."

"Our friend, the struggling writer," teased Samantha.

"Our friend, the buyer," teased Joel.

"The sad thing about Sam is that she had to become a buyer for a living to ease her urge for buying in her free time," said Melody.  Draco snickered.

"I feel so left out," said Draco.  "You all have careers and I work at a coffee shop.  I'm a waiter."

"You're four years younger than us plus you only moved here two years ago.  And food service is very respectable."

"You have to say that.  You're my girlfriend."  Melody shrugged and placed a kiss to Draco's lips.  "I don't know.  I was thinking about looking at colleges.  I want to do something I just don't know what yet."

"You have plenty of time to figure it out," reassured Samantha, "until then, you can continue to get me discounts on my overpriced cappuccino."

"Uncle Sam's a bitch," said Joel.  "Fucking taxes.  Fucking America.  Let's all move to Canada and protest."

Draco laughed.  "I already switched countries once.  I'm not about to go and do it again."

"Oh yeah.  I keep forgetting you're English."

"Okay, guys, what's wrong with me?  I'm eating my soup with a fork," said Melody, lifting her fork from her bowl.

Looking guiltily at Melody, Draco said, "So am I," and lifted his own fork.  He was immediately followed by both Samantha and Joel.

"Oh my god, I thought I was such a freak," said Melody, laughing.  "I can't believe you were eating it with forks, too."

"What is wrong with us?" asked Draco, turning over his fork.

"So many answers to that question," said Samantha.  "I mean, you eat honey straight from the plastic bear."

"I see nothing wrong with that," protested Draco.  "Well Joel makes pudding in the bathtub, buys Playboy for the articles, and speaks Japanese in China town trying to piss people off."

"At least I'm fluent in Japanese," said Joel.  "Sam used to believe she was the reincarnate spirit of Cleopatra."

Sam pouted.  "Why isn't anyone attacking Melody, here?"

"Because Melody is normal," said Melody.  "I've never gone to Las Vegas and spent my time there scoring the Elvis impersonators to find the one that was most likely 'The King'."

Draco cocked an eyebrow.

"That was only one time and it was our graduation trip," said Samantha.  "I'll also have you know that Joel and I had a very good time on that trip and its one of my favorite memories ever."

"Is it really?" Joel said, grinning, and apparently touched.

"Yes it is," replied Samantha, also grinning.

"Oh you are so sweet.  You are my best friend ever."  Samantha laughed.

"As much as I love being attacked and visiting with my favorite freaks, Mel and I should get back over the apartment.  We both need to sleep for work in the morning."

"I'll be over at ten," said Joel.  "Leave the door open."

"Why?" asked Melody as they headed for the door.

"I have to take a shower.  There's pudding in mine."

"I'll be over for that purpose as well," said Draco.

"You're lucky we love you," said Samantha and Draco kissed Melody goodbye before the girls disappeared to their own apartment.

"That went well," said Joel.

Draco sighed, staring at the closed door.  "What am I going to do about her?"

"I don't know but you better come up with something before you come home from work one day and both she and Cherish are gone.  You don't want to lose your daughter."

"No," said Draco, shaking his head.  "I need sleep.  I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight," said Joel, watching Draco until he disappeared into his bedroom.

Shutting the door behind him, Draco walked over to the crib where Cherish lay asleep.  He peered over the railing at her, watching her tiny chest rise and fall as she slept.  Tears welled up in his eyes at Joel's words.  Thinking about Melody taking Cherish, the one person left in his life he loved, was not what he needed tonight when Harry of all people had seeped back into his thoughts.  Not even the pudding incident, a typical occurrence when living with Joel Montgomery, was enough to shake off his feeling of dread.

Leaving her crib, Draco crept into his closet and grabbed a flashlight from just by the door.  Turning it on, he crawled to the back corner and began to pull up the loose carpeting.  Prying up the loose floorboard, Draco removed the long, slick black box and he leaned back against the wall.  He grabbed a cloth sitting nearby and a small bottle of polish to set it beside him.  Lifting the lid, he removed the familiar strip of wood and he felt warmth in his hand.

Sitting in his closet, holding his magic wand, Draco could do little to deny the life he left behind for one that was turning out to be almost as painful.  As he set about polishing his wand, Draco allowed his thoughts to freely drift to Hogwarts, Harry, and his yen for the wizard world.  He missed the familiar places of his childhood badly, Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, and Hogwarts most of all.  Even more than the places, he missed the people.  Never did Draco think he would be missing the Weasleys and their flaming red hair, but now that it wasn't there to see daily, Draco did indeed miss it.  He missed his teachers, especially Professor Snape, and he missed the headmaster who seemed to know everything.  Even part of Draco missed Professor Trelawney, the Divination teacher who was always claiming that he, Harry, and the rest of his fellow classmates were going to die.  It really tended to be quite a downer but if it meant being back at Hogwarts, Draco would listen to her go on about the Grim a thousand times.

Sometimes he wanted to tell Joel, if not Samantha and Melody, about what he was.  He wondered about Cherish and if, since he was a wizard but Melody was a muggle, if his daughter would be a witch or not.  Cherish already had the Malfoy eyes, bright and a grey that almost looked like silver.  For a baby, she was very pale and Draco expected that wouldn't go away as she got older.  Most of the Malfoys were paler than white and Draco often thought the bunch together looked like some twisted form of a Deathday Party.  He wouldn't be surprised if, with Melody also being blonde, Cherish ended up with same platinum hair he had.

Gazing down at his wand, Draco could feel more tears prick at his eyes but he wouldn't let them spill over tonight.  With the most reluctant of gestures, Draco wrapped his wand in a piece of torn t-shirt before putting it back in the box and under the floorboard.  He replaced the carpeting and the flashlight as he crawled out and shut the door to the closet before changing and sliding into bed praying for a better day tomorrow.

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