Gentlemen prefer Blondes
By Screwed-up_FluffyBugger.com
"bPOTTER YOU BASTARD!/b" Draco screeched across the Slytherin house dining table at the Griffindors. He was shouting at the 5th years, or more specifically, Harry Potter, who was smirking in an oh-so Snapey manner. Draco snarled furiously at Harry, wringing his long silver hair, trying to squeeze the residual of the fried tomato and pumpkin juice bomb that had been thrown at him only moments ago.
"Ooo, what are you going to do, Ferret? Nibble my finger off?"
The room exploded with a roar of laughter, save for several Slytherins who were trying desperately not to snigger.
Harry had been taunting Draco all through breakfast, and now the fumes were visibly steaming from Draco's ears.
Harry's smirk faded as he watched Draco pull out his wand form his robes and with a loud scream of I"Dragoonis Pyrotica!"/I shot a large bolt of Baby Dragon fire in Harry's direction.
I(Note: Baby dragon fire is magical fire that doesn't burn anything apart form it's initial target. Unfortunately, its initial target, if hit, is brutally and painfully incinerated before being evaporated into thin air [or being eaten by a dog. Which ever comes first])/I
Harry ducked under the long table just before having his head cremated (but not without singeing a few stray black hairs).
Draco was fuming at the other side of the dining room, shooting bolt after bolt of the deadly fire like a pyromaniac on cocaine.
From the staff table, all of the teachers were panicking with great fear of mortal peril, save for two of them: Dumbledore and Snape.
Dumbledore remained annoyingly calm, reassuring everyone that no one was in grave danger, and that they should let the boys resolve the little 'spat' by themselves. Snape was just happy to finally see the little git get what he deserved. (Harry that is. He wouldn't want anything bad to happen to his Dracums.)
Harry had picked up a bronze plate, reflecting any fire that came his way. Although the plate wasn't melting, it was becoming incredibly hot. He dropped the scolding plate when his fingers started to blister.
Draco smirked, and summoned up all his magical strength, pausing before firing the spell (for dramatic affect, of course), then let loose what could only be described as a small super nova form his wand.
As quick as a demented bolt of lightening, Harry pulled out his wand and shouting an incantation (I"Gynoda Hydrotransa!"/I ) of mermaids fountain. Huge streams of freezing acidic green water jetted out of Harry's wand. There was a loud hiss and a cloud of steam as the nova was distinguished, the sound of people coughing and girls screaming.
As the hot steam died away, so did the noise. When the steam completely cleared, only Harry was the only boy standing. He stood on the Griffindor table, looking towards the Slytherins, but seeing no sign of Draco.
What had happened? Mermaid's fountain was only meant to neutralise fire spells, not react with them.
Then a horrible realisation dawned on Harry.
Mermaid's Fountain was not meant to be green (acidic or otherwise).
It was then that Hermione stood up and grabbed Harry by the scruff of his collar, pulling him down to ear level.
"It's Gynoda HydroTANA!!" She growled "Not Transa! TANA!!!"
"So…So what spell did II/I do?" Harry stuttered.
They turned to look back at where Draco had been standing, only to see a large group of Slytherins, Professors and random curious people crowed round his unconscious form. Harry got up to go and have a closer look at Draco, only to be dragged over by Snape.
"You…" Snape started in a low, menacing voice. Harry swore that his eyes were going a dark shade of red. "300 POINTS FROM GRIFFINDOR! AND DETENTIONS FOR THE LOT OF YOU!" He pointed at the rest of Griffindor house, who were sitting at their table. Could Snape really keep a whole house in detention? Harry wasn't looking forward to finding out.
"Stand aside!" a shrill voice bellowed. Madame Pomfrey came bustling in through the doors of the great hall. She pushed aside a group of 4th year Slytherin's and stood directly over Draco.
"Crabbe, Goyle, Help me carry the stretcher while I take this-" She paused for a moment, not quite sure what to say. "-this child to the infirmary." Crabbe and Goyle stood, their jaws still hung low form shock.
"WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!" Snape interrupted, shouting in anger. "YOU HEARD MADAME POMFREY, GET MALFOY TO THE INFIRMARY!"
Crabbe and Goyle looked at each other, and then picked up Draco surprisingly gently and dropped him onto the stretcher. The three of them walked out of the room, leaving behind many confused students and a bunch of giggling Slytherins.
Draco woke up in one of the soft hospital beds with a pounding head and cramps in his abdomen. He felt sick and dizzy, like he was about to throw up.
Which he did.
He lifted his head out of the large wooden bucket, his frizzy blond hair getting in his eyes. He saw his wand laying on the bed-side table next to him, so he picked it up and conjured up a tissue.
He also conjured up what looked like two aspirin and a glass of water. His head felt like there was a small all night rave going on inside it. He sat up-right to take the tablets, and then laid back against the head board.
His chest didn't usually feel this heavy. And those cramps were really bad. And since was his hair so frizzy and long?
Then it clicked.
IOh. My. God./I
He slowly glanced down at his duvet-smothered body. He picked up the heavy blankets and stared, screamed, and promptly fainted.
He, Draco Malfoy, was now a girl.