Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or any of its characters.
Mistaken
I still find it impossible to understand why I found myself so deeply in love with him. I hardly knew him, although I tried time and time again to get him to open up to me, to share his feelings. It was completely and utterly useless. He remained untouchable. I acted as though I'd never noticed, giving him more attention in class, making myself available for extra help with only him in mind, protecting him from the taunts of the other one. There were no changes in our relationship. Hyne though, it wasn't in a physical manner that I adored him at all. Everything about his 'personality,' as one could call it, was so intriguing to me. I wondered what he could be hiding behind his unbreakable shell. It was so mysterious and I yearned to know more.
And then she came. I was so bitter towards her at the time, and she knew it. She was constantly demanding attention to her trivial matters. But only from him. It was obvious she had feelings for him. I resolved myself to the fact that I would fight for him. The 'love' I felt was too strong to suddenly become worthless because of a single silly little girl. Then the memories came flooding back to me. I had known him all my life without ever realizing it. Had I loved him that long, too? She wouldn't win.
Time passed and their feelings for each other grew. I was confused, though. My heart was not broken. I was alive as I had ever been. I felt no pain when I saw them together. I just couldn't understand it. Hadn't I just lost the love of my life? The only one in all of the world that could make me truly happy? Then I realized whatever I had felt for him was gone from me. It had simply left. I had no recollection of what made me love him. And I knew I wasn't lying to myself, either. My heart told me so. The truth felt wonderful, like freedom after being imprisoned for a lifetime.
If not him, then who was there for me? I couldn't answer this question for a very long time. I had to decide what I wanted in my soul mate. I felt I deserved someone who was capable, spontaneous, and as least as clever as I. The though of this person hit me harder than anything I had ever felt before. He had shown his feelings for me in the past but I had been too blind to see or accept them. The more I thought of him the more I loved him. He could never return here though. He'd been branded a traitor, he'd never be welcomed again. How could I have been so blind to refuse him that time ago? He's in my dreams every night now. Each morning I wake up, leaving the haunting image of jade eyes in the world I wish could be reality.
A/N~ Guess whose POV this one is from. I know this is short, I plan on adding to it soon.