'Only Child'
Tai stared at his darling lovable little sister who could do not wrong and cause no evil, the one he loved so dearly…YEAH RIGHT! Ever since she came into the picture mom and dad haven't spent any time with ME! The first child! The cool one! Kari this and Kari that! They act like they've never seen a baby in their life.
Tai walked around Kari's crib as the baby inside cooed and giggled seeing her older brother. 'How wrong…' Tai thought frowning. 'She's can not, be that innocent!'
"I know what your doing Kari," Tai said folding his arms. "You're trying to steel mom and dad away from me! Well guess what? YOU CAN'T! I know what you're playing at and to be blunt I just don't like it! So set your cards out straight and tell me what's in it for you? The attention? Hmmm speak! What scared?"
Kari stared at Tai for a moment letting drool seep out her mouth before bursting into a fit of babyish laughter. She smiled at Tai and reached out tugging on his hand.
"Oh you're trying to butter me up now huh?" Tai asked putting on an I'm-to- good-to-fall-for-that type look. "Well guess what sister? I ain't buying! You can't win me over that easily! It's either you or me sista and it ain't gunna be me!" Tai was now pulling off all these 'bad boy' moves he saw on TV as Kari just sort of watch in awe.
'What the heck is he doing?' Kari wondered in her baby-like mind. 'This is some joke right? What's he talkin bout? Is he loony? Is he ok? I knew it! He's an alien!'
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Kari cried so loud Tai had to cover his ears.
"YEAH WELL!" He shouted over her wailing, "I NEVER LIKED YOU ANYWAY! YOU YOU YOU YOU PARENT SNATCHER!"
"Taichi Kamiya!" Mrs. Kamiya said picking up Kari and rocking her. "You shouldn't scare your sister like that! She's only a baby!"
"Yeah right!" Tai started. "She has it in for me Mom! She's plotting my doom! She's join forces with the Puppet Show dudes and is going to stuff me! She's EVIL! She's controlling you mind! Don't let her fool you! She's not innocent! She wants your goat!"
"Goat?" Mrs. Kamiya asked staring at her son as if he had lost it. "That's it no more TV for you. Now I know why Mrs. Izumi threw hers out the window. She told me to do the same after what it did to her little boy. He thought he was Super Man and jumped out the window! He got caught in the tree thank heaven! They had to call in the fire department to get him out! And you know what?"
"What?" Tai asked eyes on her.
"He did it again!" Mrs. Kamiya said. "He said that the first try was a minor delay and that he couldn't be Super Man at his age so instead he thought he was Peter Pan and said 'I can fly' and out the window he went, right back into the tree."
"Um…" Tai said thinking 'Poor Kou he always wanted to fly…better not tell mom that he plans on jumping out our window when he comes over…'
"So in conclusion No More TV," Mrs. Kamiya said leaving with Kari. "Your little friend will be over later, please don't try anything stupid."
Later that afternoon Mr. and Mrs. Izumi came over with their little boy Koushirou who was smiling and in perfect condition except for one thing…he was covered in bandages from his little flying adventures.
"Now go run and play with Tai honey," Mrs. Izumi said patting his head before he left to Tai's room. "They grow up so fast! Only yesterday he was jumping out windows screaming 'I can Fly' my little boy."
"Megumi that was only yesterday," Mr. Izumi corrected.
"Oh," Mrs. Izumi said, "silly me!" Mrs. Izumi and Mrs. Kamiya left to go chat while the men watched Foot Ball.
In Tai's room Koushirou sat staring out the window with an evil look on his face.
"Kou you're not seriously planning on jumping again are you?" Tai asked his friend.
"Yep!" Kou said happily.
"But every time you do that you end up falling…into a tree," Tai said.
"So," Kou said smile un-fading. "When at first you don't succeed try again! Besides the third times a charm!"
"Whatever you say Kou," Tai muttered thinking. 'This kid really is insane…to much Blues Clues I bet.'
"And you're coming with me!" Kou added.
"WHAT?!" Tai said wide-eyed. "But!"
"No buts!" Kou said. "Come on it'll be fun I know!"
"…" was Tai's response.
"Oh please oh please don't let me die!" Tai prayed as the two stood on the window seal only a few minutes later.
"Oh don't be such a baby!" Kou said. "I've done this a million times no biggie!" Tai just stared at him but that was cut short as Kou grabbed his hand shouting 'Think happy thoughts!'
"How can I think happy thoughts when I'm falling to my DOOM!" Tai screamed clutching Kou who was singing the Peter Pan song.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kou said laughing as Tai looked at him. This kid was insane! Crazy! Mad!
"Uh oh," Kou said.
"What's uh oh?'" Tai asked frightened.
"Apparently my calculations were off," Kou said smiling nervously. "Were either going to hit the tree or the concrete and there's a 1% chance we'll hit the tree."
Tai's eyes bulged at Kou then at the same time they both started screaming "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" BOOM!
"What…happen?" Tai asked looking at Kou.
"WOW! Amazing!" Kou said happily. "We managed to hit the tree! There was a 1% chance of that too! What luck huh?"
"Kou…" Tai said.
"Yeah?" Kou responded.
"Remind me to NEVER listen to you again," Tai said falling back on the branch.
Later that afternoon after the Cheery Picker came and got them out of the tree…it happened like this.
"Call 911 Koushirou and Tai are stuck in the tree!" Mrs. Kamiya said franticly.
"No prob," Mrs. Izumi said waving calmly. "Calm down this has happened a bunch of times no biggie." She called the fire department that then came down there.
"HI Mr. Clazz!" Kou said waving at the man in the cheery picker.
"Oh man that kids stuck in the tree AGAIN," he said waving at him.
"That's the third time right?" the man next to him said.
"Alright Koushirou what's you excuse this time?" the fireman asked the boy as Tai gave a facial expression that said 'No way'
"Well…I wanted to fly sir," Kou said smiling. "And I took my friend with me! Good thing this tree was here huh?"
"Yes sonny," he said getting them out. "Now don't go doing any jumping out the windows…or anything for that matter like a speeding car or taxi and lord I'm giving him ideas…"
"Ok sir!" Kou said as they put both boys down.
"LAND! REAL LAND!" Tai exclaimed hugging the ground. "I'll never leave you again!" Mrs. Kamiya hugged him tightly as Mrs. Izumi lectured Kou on how jumping from insane heights was bad.
Later on in the day Tai and Kou sat in Tai's room playing with cars when Tai suggested something.
"Kou I need your help!" Tai said standing up.
"With what?" Kou asked.
"I need you to help me get rid of Kari!" Tai said stubbornly.
"Awwww why?" Kou started. "She's kinda cute!"
"SHE'S GOTTEN TO YOU TOO?!" Tai said falling to his knees in a dramatic pose. "Oh woe is me! My own friend corrupted by my sister's evil hand! Oh why? Take me instead!"
"Um…Tai ya ok?" Kou asked.
"Yeah," Tai said getting up. "So ya with me or not?"
"I'm with you!" Kou smiled.
"Good!" Tai said.
Minutes later Tai and Kou…who were dressed in Tai's mother and fathers bath robes with lipstick makings crawled on their face through the halls to where Kari slept soundly.
"Move out solider!" Tai said as the two got up and stared at her. "Look at her! Acting all innocent even when she sleeps. HA! Good thing me and you aren't drawn in by her cuteness right Kou? …Kou?"
"Goochi Goo!" Kou said playing with Kari. "There's a good girl! Can you clap? See it's easy! Do it for Kou-kun! Come on! That's a good girl! Your so smart!"
"KOU!" Tai shouted at him causing Kou to get up and salute Tai. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! PLAYING WITH THE ENEMY?!"
"NO SIR! YES SIR! WHAT?" Kou exclaimed now confused. "I mean she's so cute! I couldn't help it!"
"Pathetic!" Tai said studying him. "And you call yourself a solider? Letting the enemy get you! She's only tricking you! She wants your goat!"
"She does?" Kou asked miffed. "So the reason I don't got a goat is because she's got it? THAT THEIF! I WANT MY GOAT!"
"Err…not exactly…um…ok!" Tai paused. "Yeah well at least your ready! Now lets put plan one into action!"
"Yes sir!" Kou started. "Plan one under way and … what was plan one?"
"Kou!" Tai said smacking his forehead.
"Ok you get it?" Tai asked Kou after he explained.
"Yep!" Kou chirped.
"Good!" Tai said. "Now lets get plan one ready!"
"Kay!" Kou said.
Tai and Kou lifted Kari out of her crib. Tai made Kou carry her outside.
"Tai!" Kou complained.
"What?" Tai asked.
"Kari's heavy!" Kou whined.
"So rough it!" Tai said as they walk a little farther then stopped right in front of the Trash Can. They gave each other a quick look before putting Kari in it. They headed back in afterwards.
"Well job completed…now lets go eat!" Tai said as he and Kou left for the kitchen.
"Tai?" Mrs. Kamiya asked some time later. "Why was Kari outside in the trash can?"
"Um…I dunno..." Tai said pausing some. "She was in the trash? WOW! Isn't that the darnest thing?"
"Tai," Mrs. Kamiya said now tapping her foot. "Did you put Kari there?"
"Um…maybe," Tai said smiling.
"TIME OUT!" Mrs. Kamiya said pointing to the corner.
"Drat!" Tai said walking over and standing.
"Alright!" Tai said later that day after he was out of the corner. "Plan one failed but Plan two won't!"
"What's plan two?" Kou asked.
"You see…" Tai started whispering it into Kou's ear.
They both walked back outside Kou holding Kari again and breathing heavily due to the fact she was heavy for him. They waited a bit as the Trash guy drove up to get the trash he started dumping out the canisters when Tai walked up to him.
"Hey Mr.!" Tai said.
"Yeah?" he responded.
"We got some trash for you!" Tai grinned thrusting Kari toward him.
The man looked at the kid shaking his head thinking. 'That's the fifth kid this week trying to sell me that 'My sisters trash' line. Man don't they give up?'
"Sorry kido," the man said dumping the last bits of trash away. "I don't take babies." With that he left.
"Dang!" Tai frowned. "So close yet so far!"
"Tai just give up!" Kou said sitting down next to Kari in the grass. "No one wants to take your sister. You're stuck with her! Besides she's cute!"
"Kou did I ever tell you that you are one messed up kid?" Tai asked.
"Yep! Plenty of times!" Kou smiled as he turned to Kari. "I see you! Boo! Kou-kun's gunna get you! Run!" He chased a giggling Kari around tickling her and talking gibberish.
'I don't know what you're saying,' Kari thought as Izzy continued to talk gibberish, 'but keep talking!' They continued to play tag.
Tai sighed as he fell onto the grass looking up at the sky thinking 'Why didn't I just hit the concrete?'