Chapter One: The Moon's Memory
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I just merely wish I did and write fics, fantasizing that I was the owner and they would follow my every command...
Warning: Angst. Not exactly your happy fic. (I'm not writing humor! *Gasp*) If you want it to be, yaoi. Otherwise, just friendship. Enjoy!
They tell me I have a fever.
That's true, I guess. But they're hiding something from me. Or at least trying. But I can see it in their faces.. Why else would Botan be here? To comfort me? When she's supposed to be ferrying souls? Ah, they are so inexperienced at lying. Which is, I suppose, a good thing.
Lying is an art. I know this, I was youko. I was a thief. I lived on lying, betraying. But they are too young, naive, to learn this lesson like I had. Not yet, and hopefully never.
I am dying. I know that. I am no fool to be deceived by those barely a fraction of my age. The fever that they say is a "Side-effect of a cold" is just another thing proving it.
My body is dying. They don't know why, they hide it from me, fearing that if I knew, I would set out to find out. After all, I am only in my twenty's.
"What could be wrong with him?" They think.
I know. I didn't take this human's body and live in it for years without noticing the effects. My youki is killing it. It is too strong for the delicate human body. So it is dying. Simple as that.
If I told them, they'd probably tell me to go youko, leave this body. But I can't do that. Why do you think I turned down Yomi? Because I wanted to live this ningen life out. And if I can't do that, I will stretch it as long as possible.
Kaasan... Gods, if she knew what I'd done... I killed her child's soul and now his body. If she knew that...
Hn... It's almost funny. I, the great thief, Youko Kurama, dying for a ningen woman. A woman that is my "mother" but is an infant compared to my age.
The greatest sacrifice.
I know that if I don't abandon this body, mine will be lost with it. I know that. The second Shuuichi's ningen heart stops beating; Youko Kurama will be no more. They don't know that though. They think that everything will work our perfectly, that I will be reborn as youko and return to them.
Ah, how it is to be young. So naive. To believe the world is "fair". Does that word even exist? Fair? Hah! Nothing could be more ridiculous.
I wonder if they'll figure it out... That I really did die. I'm pretty sure Kuwabara will swear that I'm out there somewhere as Youko Kurama. Yukina will believe him; those two are so cute together...
My fever is getting higher. This heart is wearing out, the quickness of the beats catching up to it. My palms are sweating...
I feel like I'm having a flashback. I've already experienced this feeling. Except that this time, there is no body for me to steal. No human to overtake. Just death. Death and pain.
I suppose it would be more honorable if I told Shiori... But I am afraid of her reaction. I face death with a calm face and yet break down by just the mere thought of her knowing. Knowing what I did to her child. Knowing that nobody will ever find out if "Shuuichi" was a girl or a boy, what "Shuuichi"s personality was like. That I did it and am the only one to blame... it sends chills up my spine.
Regrets. Gods, I've always known my life was stained. The majority of my memories have blood or tears or betrayal. But now, in this dying ningen body, every voice returns to me. Ever death cry, every threat, every sob. It rings in my head, making me feel like it is what's causing my fever. Making me feel insane.
My hands feel grimy. I feel as if, if I looked at them, they would be covered in blood. Blood that had built there over the centuries, blood that I found after a kill underneath my nails. The haunting amber, glimmering and fading to black. The blood between my fingers that I had to lick off if there was no water. Either that or smear it on my shirt.
Plants are of beauty. Roses are of delicacy. The majority of ningen and youkai believe that. But that is why it is my favorite weapon. Because they are so utterly wrong... A rose's appearance is just a mask. The thorns are what it's hiding. It still makes me smirk, remembering when I first thought up the "Rose Whip". A weapon that proved that beauty could be deadly...
Hm, my pulse is getting slower... Shiori has just gone to call the doctor. Not that they think there is any hope for me...
Come back Kaasan... I want you to be here... Gods, my mind is drifting. Kaasan...
What the hell was that? Either I am hallucinating, which is very possible, or I just saw a shadow... Hiei?!
He's saying something... Damn, I wish I could see better... My vision is blurring, my head is pounding... It's like my damn heart is in my head, pulsing next to my ears...
If I didn't know better, I'd say he looks sad... Is it just my vision, or is there concern...? Inari, I wish I could hear his voice. That voice that seems to pull me to shore, the deep rumbling like Makai thunder...
"KURAMA!" His voice slips past the pounding and reaches me, snapping my vision back for a second. Shiori is back. She is gaping at Hiei, no doubt wondering who this mysterious black covered boy is, and how he got here... The others, all of them, are staring at Hiei, wondering why the emotionless koorime looks so scared. And like me, wondering why he is here...
"Hiei...?" My voice is a whisper of the quietest winds. Kaasan's eyes turn to me, surprised I can even speak. She knows I am dying. The beating is decreasing... Silence is enveloping me... It reminds me of those white and black movies where everything fades into other scenes so naturally...
"Kurama I---..." Silence. My time has come. I wonder... What did he want to tell me?
End! I am so cruel. Doesn't it suck that I didn't even tell you what Hiei was going to say? (Oh, and if you couldn't figure it out... Um... I hope you did figure it out, but it's Kurama POV) I might make a sequel. Hiei's POV or something. Who knows! R&R Onegai. ^_^ (I know I am not good at this, I am used to humor fics... Blaaa) ANYWAYS! Review please! No flames!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I just merely wish I did and write fics, fantasizing that I was the owner and they would follow my every command...
Warning: Angst. Not exactly your happy fic. (I'm not writing humor! *Gasp*) If you want it to be, yaoi. Otherwise, just friendship. Enjoy!
They tell me I have a fever.
That's true, I guess. But they're hiding something from me. Or at least trying. But I can see it in their faces.. Why else would Botan be here? To comfort me? When she's supposed to be ferrying souls? Ah, they are so inexperienced at lying. Which is, I suppose, a good thing.
Lying is an art. I know this, I was youko. I was a thief. I lived on lying, betraying. But they are too young, naive, to learn this lesson like I had. Not yet, and hopefully never.
I am dying. I know that. I am no fool to be deceived by those barely a fraction of my age. The fever that they say is a "Side-effect of a cold" is just another thing proving it.
My body is dying. They don't know why, they hide it from me, fearing that if I knew, I would set out to find out. After all, I am only in my twenty's.
"What could be wrong with him?" They think.
I know. I didn't take this human's body and live in it for years without noticing the effects. My youki is killing it. It is too strong for the delicate human body. So it is dying. Simple as that.
If I told them, they'd probably tell me to go youko, leave this body. But I can't do that. Why do you think I turned down Yomi? Because I wanted to live this ningen life out. And if I can't do that, I will stretch it as long as possible.
Kaasan... Gods, if she knew what I'd done... I killed her child's soul and now his body. If she knew that...
Hn... It's almost funny. I, the great thief, Youko Kurama, dying for a ningen woman. A woman that is my "mother" but is an infant compared to my age.
The greatest sacrifice.
I know that if I don't abandon this body, mine will be lost with it. I know that. The second Shuuichi's ningen heart stops beating; Youko Kurama will be no more. They don't know that though. They think that everything will work our perfectly, that I will be reborn as youko and return to them.
Ah, how it is to be young. So naive. To believe the world is "fair". Does that word even exist? Fair? Hah! Nothing could be more ridiculous.
I wonder if they'll figure it out... That I really did die. I'm pretty sure Kuwabara will swear that I'm out there somewhere as Youko Kurama. Yukina will believe him; those two are so cute together...
My fever is getting higher. This heart is wearing out, the quickness of the beats catching up to it. My palms are sweating...
I feel like I'm having a flashback. I've already experienced this feeling. Except that this time, there is no body for me to steal. No human to overtake. Just death. Death and pain.
I suppose it would be more honorable if I told Shiori... But I am afraid of her reaction. I face death with a calm face and yet break down by just the mere thought of her knowing. Knowing what I did to her child. Knowing that nobody will ever find out if "Shuuichi" was a girl or a boy, what "Shuuichi"s personality was like. That I did it and am the only one to blame... it sends chills up my spine.
Regrets. Gods, I've always known my life was stained. The majority of my memories have blood or tears or betrayal. But now, in this dying ningen body, every voice returns to me. Ever death cry, every threat, every sob. It rings in my head, making me feel like it is what's causing my fever. Making me feel insane.
My hands feel grimy. I feel as if, if I looked at them, they would be covered in blood. Blood that had built there over the centuries, blood that I found after a kill underneath my nails. The haunting amber, glimmering and fading to black. The blood between my fingers that I had to lick off if there was no water. Either that or smear it on my shirt.
Plants are of beauty. Roses are of delicacy. The majority of ningen and youkai believe that. But that is why it is my favorite weapon. Because they are so utterly wrong... A rose's appearance is just a mask. The thorns are what it's hiding. It still makes me smirk, remembering when I first thought up the "Rose Whip". A weapon that proved that beauty could be deadly...
Hm, my pulse is getting slower... Shiori has just gone to call the doctor. Not that they think there is any hope for me...
Come back Kaasan... I want you to be here... Gods, my mind is drifting. Kaasan...
What the hell was that? Either I am hallucinating, which is very possible, or I just saw a shadow... Hiei?!
He's saying something... Damn, I wish I could see better... My vision is blurring, my head is pounding... It's like my damn heart is in my head, pulsing next to my ears...
If I didn't know better, I'd say he looks sad... Is it just my vision, or is there concern...? Inari, I wish I could hear his voice. That voice that seems to pull me to shore, the deep rumbling like Makai thunder...
"KURAMA!" His voice slips past the pounding and reaches me, snapping my vision back for a second. Shiori is back. She is gaping at Hiei, no doubt wondering who this mysterious black covered boy is, and how he got here... The others, all of them, are staring at Hiei, wondering why the emotionless koorime looks so scared. And like me, wondering why he is here...
"Hiei...?" My voice is a whisper of the quietest winds. Kaasan's eyes turn to me, surprised I can even speak. She knows I am dying. The beating is decreasing... Silence is enveloping me... It reminds me of those white and black movies where everything fades into other scenes so naturally...
"Kurama I---..." Silence. My time has come. I wonder... What did he want to tell me?
End! I am so cruel. Doesn't it suck that I didn't even tell you what Hiei was going to say? (Oh, and if you couldn't figure it out... Um... I hope you did figure it out, but it's Kurama POV) I might make a sequel. Hiei's POV or something. Who knows! R&R Onegai. ^_^ (I know I am not good at this, I am used to humor fics... Blaaa) ANYWAYS! Review please! No flames!