Author's Notes: Characters belong to Squaresoft, not me. Inspired by the lyrics to Celes' opera song, "Aria di Mezzo Caraterre." Props to my friend Amy-chan for helping to conceive part of the idea that led to this fic. Feedback welcomed at lassarina_angharad_aoibhell@hotmail.com.

~*~Chapter Four~*~

~*~Love Goes Away~*~

Celes paced uneasily up and down the narrow hallway. It had been three days since their fight, and she hadn't heard word one from Locke. She rearranged a vase of flowers on the table, then moved it back again. Setzer had gone to find out if any of their other comrades had seen Locke, promising to be back shortly.

Are you an Imperial General, or some silly love-starved twit? the acid voice in the back of her mind demanded. You used to have a backbone. What happened to it? Gone soft in all this time away from the army?

"Shut up!" She brought her fists down onto the table and winced at the loud sound it made, as well as the bruises she'd just acquired. Rubbing her hands, she resumed pacing.

A quick, sharp knock at the door had her sprinting to the other end of the hall. She whipped open the door to find Setzer, Terra, and Cyan standing in the doorway.

"Celes, we need to talk," Setzer began, and led the way into the kitchen. The four of them settled around the small table.

"Well?" Celes prompted, when none of them seemed inclined to speak. A slow, sick dread began to churn in her stomach.

Terra reached out and dropped something into her hand. "You...should have this," she said in a choked voice.

Bright blue gems glittered against white gold. Her name and the words "I love you" were engraved on the clasp. She closed her hand tightly around the bracelet and blinked hard.

The sympathy in Terra's green eyes made her want to claw the other woman's face until blood ran, and at the same time, she wished she could break down in tears. No. No, it couldn't be that. No. But they all looked so solemn....

She had thought the Imperial training camps and her imprisonment had taught her all she could ever know about pain.

Not even close.

"Locke bought this for you. We....found it outside the Verridian Cave," Terra stammered.

"It used to be a cave," Setzer amended. "Now it's a pile of rock."

Accursed place. "I want to go look for him."

The way they traded looks made her hand itch for her Runic blade. "Celes, there is no way he could have survived," Cyan rumbled. "I understand thy pain...but nothing could still be alive in that pile of rubble."

"I see." She stared at the handful of metal and gems coiled in her palm.

"I think you need to lie down." Terra put a hand on her shoulder.

She jerked away. "I'm going to go look for him." Her chair crashed to the floor when she sprang to her feet.

Terra, Cyan, and Setzer exchanged looks again. "We're going with you," Cyan declared.

"Do whatever the hell you want, I don't care. But I'm going." She reached for the white wool cloak hanging in the front hall. She had discovered a long time ago that she could use physical exertion to push mental pain away....at least until she exhausted herself enough to sleep as soon as she lay down.

"Celes. You'll want a canteen." She looked up from strapping on the scabbard that held her Runic blade to see Terra offering her a leather canteen. She accepted it with a curt nod and finished fastening her sword at her side.

"Let's go," Terra said simply.

They headed to the small port west of Kohlingen and climbed into a small skiff that Setzer rented from the dockmaster. Terra sighed and tipped her face up to the swift sea breeze. "Celes, you should drink some water," she said mildly. "That was a long walk."

Obediently Celes unscrewed the lid of her canteen and sipped the water. It tasted a little bitter, but her mouth and throat welcomed the moisture. She drank more.

She was having trouble focusing on Terra's face, which insisted on fading into a cream-and-green blur. She felt cool wood under her cheek and wondered why she was lying down.

"Terra, how much did you give her?" Setzer demanded.

"Enough to knock her out for hours. Turn the boat around." A cool hand brushed her forehead. "I'm sorry, Celes. But we can't let you do this to yourself."

She heard a deep sigh. "I shall have Sir Gau accompany me to the island to retrieve his body." Voices faded in and out. "She should....that much."

"I agree. But what if...."

Darkness.

~*~

"I think she's coming out of it."

"I can't believe you gave her that much."

"Well, what did you want me to do? It's not like I could cast Sleep on her, you know."

A sigh. "Well, there's not much we can do about it now. Celes, are you awake?"

She cracked her eyes open and winced at the flare of brilliance that assaulted her. Her mouth felt like it had been stuffed with week-old socks. Slowly the brilliance resolved into two faces: one a lovely oval framed by waves of green hair, and one thin and angular with silver bangs falling into the grey eyes.

"Drink this." Terra held a glass to her lips. "Plain water this time, I promise."

She drank greedily until the glass was empty. "What did you do to me?"

Terra had the grace to look ashamed. "Sleeping powder in your canteen."

"Why?"

"Because letting you exhaust yourself looking for something that isn't there wasn't a good idea," Setzer said harshly. Celes cringed, but a second look at his eyes told her that he was using coldness as a defense. God knew she'd done that often enough herself.

"Setzer!" Terra glared. "What he meant to say was, you'll have enough to deal with as it is." She hesitated. "Cyan....went to the Verridian cave." The slender Esper girl bit her lip hard. "He....found Locke's body....but it's...." Bright tears glittered in green eyes.

"The funeral is today." Setzer's voice slipped through several octaves of pitch as he spoke. "It's....a closed casket."

They had to be lying to her. Locke couldn't be dead. And if it was that bad, how did they know for sure it was him?

But why would they lie?

"Celes.....we'll understand if you don't want to go." Terra wiped away tears.

She considered it, but she had never been one to run from her battles. "Do you have something black I can borrow?" she whispered.

~*~

Celes stood silently in the graveyard in Kohlingen. She didn't notice the cold northern wind that whipped her cloak out behind her. She wasn't really aware of her friends, though she knew that they were gathered all around her. She was looking at the casket that held Locke's body, but she wasn't really seeing it. She wanted to scream, to cry, to do SOMETHING. But that's not what an Imperial soldier does, she thought. As the funeral chants rose around her, her mind drifted back in time.

The guard struck her again. Her head was spinning. She couldn't think with the pain that filled her awareness. She tried to evade the blows, but she was chained to the wall and couldn't move.

So simple a thing, really . . . She had learned of Kefka's plans against Doma, and had tried to send carrier pigeons to warn them of the danger. She had also known of the plan to lure General Leo from the front, clearing the way for Kefka's insanity.

But one of Gestahl's imperial spies had discovered her, and Gestahl had sentenced her to death. "There will be no traitors in my empire, and none in my army. She'll die tomorrow morning. Till then, lock her up." He had tipped her head up so that she had to look at him. "I think I'll let Kefka direct your execution, my dear," he had said in a voice that oozed satisfaction. "I'm sure he'll enjoy it." She knew what that meant--not the quick mercy of the guillotine or the headsman's sword, no indeed. If Kefka was in charge, it would be a very slow, very public execution, probably beginning with some form of torture and ending either by burning at the stake, or being drawn and quartered. But there was no help for it now. She was locked away in South Figaro beneath the millionaire's house, waiting for her death.

"This's what happens to traitors!" Another blow, harder this time. "So, the mighty Celes has fallen!" She heard the guard's sneering words as though they came from a great distance.

"How can you serve those cowards . . . " She knew, from the way the words hurt her throat, that she had spoken her thought aloud.

"Hold your tongue!" the guard snapped.

"Isn't it true that Kefka's going to poison the people of Doma, to the east?" she persisted, though she knew it was foolish to irritate her guards. After all, they only had to deliver her alive tomorrow. She could be unconscious for all they cared, but she must be alive.

Another blow. This one was so hard that it snapped her head back. She felt her head strike the stone wall at her back, but again, the awareness was of something a great distance from herself. "I'd hate to be in your shoes tomorrow!" the guard chortled, kicking her in the ribs for good measure. The other one grabbed her throat, cutting off her air supply. It didn't matter. She'd rather die that way than Kefka's way.

He released her. Pity, that.

She could hear the two guards talking among themselves, then the door closed. She was only vaguely aware that she was no longer standing upright. The chains on her wrists were holding her up, threatening to rip her arms from their sockets. That wasn't right. If she stood up, it would help. She tried to stand but her legs refused to obey her.

She fell to the floor again, her cheek resting against the wall—wonderfully cool stone. A shadow fell across her, but she felt it more than saw it. Her eyes were swollen shut from the guards' interpretation of "Deliver her alive tomorrow." She forced her eyes open and saw someone bending over her. Concerned gray eyes, blond hair. A man . . . yes, it was a man bending over her. He touched her bruised cheek gently, then turned his attention to her chains. He went to work on the locks and in a short time, the chains fell away from her wrists. She slid into a heap on the floor. Gently he helped her to her feet.

She could barely stand. She leaned against the wall, needing the support that the solid stone gave her. It was an effort to focus on his words.

"I'm with the Returners. Name's Locke."

That surprised her enough that she spoke without thinking, despite the way the words tore her raw throat. "Returners!! I used to be General Celes . . . Now I'm just a common traitor . . . " It wasn't self-pity that made her say that. She didn't want him to think she was one of his group.

"Let's go!" He gestured toward the door, past the guard, who was by now snoring loudly.

"You'd take me along?" she said in astonishment. She could barely think past the pain that was trying to take over her awareness. Realizing that he was looking at her with surprise, she tried to explain. "Thanks, but no thanks. I can barely walk . . . " She tried to take a step, to prove her point, and stumbled badly. He caught her and supported her until she was steady on her feet. She nodded in thanks. "I'm grateful, but . . . Even if you got me out, you'd never be able to protect me." And I can't protect myself, she thought bitterly. "No, I'm better off here."

"I'll protect you! Trust me! You'll be fine!" As her head began to clear, she finally understood that he was offering to help her, regardless of the fact that she would only be a burden. Reluctantly, she nodded.

"Let's go!" He let her lean on his arm for support until her legs started working again. As they were about to leave the town behind, she stopped him. "Why are you helping me?" she asked.

He hesitated for a moment. "You remind me of someone . . . But what's it matter, anyway? I just want to, okay?!"

Later, in Narshe, when Cyan wanted to kill her for what she'd done in Maranda--and Celes knew she deserved every bit of his hatred and anger--Locke intervened again. "I promised I'd protect her!" he told Cyan fiercely. "I WILL NOT back out on my word!"

Locke....he was always there to help her....no matter what she had done. He never cared about the terrible things she'd done as an Imperial General. His love for her was that strong....

Celes's attention drifted back to the real world. The High Priestess was reciting the words of the funeral ceremony. Celes stared at the casket, feeling tears sting her eyes. Locke! The mental scream echoed around her. She couldn't stop the tears that were sliding down her face. Suddenly the world went gray. She couldn't see. Oh, God, the dizziness....She swayed, unable to stay on her feet. Someone put an arm around her shoulders....Cyan, it was Cyan....She wanted to tell him not to bother, that she didn't need his help. Blackness swirled up to meet her as she fell.

~*~

Well, that's all for now. Chapter 5 is on its way!