Xander's thoughts during Chapter 4
All right, she's never going to love me the way that I want her to, but at least she's not with deadboy anymore. I can give her and Liam more then he'll ever be able to give them. Xander thought bitterly.
Sure he loved Buffy, and he wanted her to be happy. She was happy living in Colorado with him, wasn't she? Well he had some how convinced himself that he could take Angel's place in her heart. But he was just kidding himself. Buffy had been crying herself to sleep ever since Liam was born and there was nothing that Xander could do that would make her feel better.
She deserved more then this, she deserved to be truly happy and only one person could give her a happy.
That's when he decided to call Angel.
While Buffy was at work and Liam was with Grace, Xander took the opportunity to call Angel.
Well actually he took the opportunity to work up the courage to call Angel. He had no idea how the guy would react.
Finally two hours later he finally dialed Angel's number, it rang and rang and rang. Just as he was about to hang up Angel answered.
"Hello, Angel Investigations, blah blah blah." Angel said with a sad tone in his voice.
Xander was tempted to hang up but he didn't. "Angel, hey this is Xander."
"Xander, hey where have you been? Have you talked to Giles or anyone else?" Angel said.
"Um, no I just needed to talk to you." Xander muttered
"Wait, you don't know what happened?" Angel said, choking on his words. "She's dead Xander, Buffy is dead. Another slayer was called, she had to have died." Angel said as he started to cry. "I'm so sorry"
"no Angel you have nothing to be sorry about" Xander said as he felt the guilt building up inside him. "I have to tell you something and I need you to hear me out before you say anything, ok?"
"Sure, what's up" Angel asked
"First I need to ask you something, Is there anything going on between you and Cordy right now?" Xander asked
"No, why would there be, we're friends but that's it. You know I'll always stay true to Buffy, even if she is …" Angel trailed off
'Well she's not dead, in fact I've been living with her for the past 8 months." Xander said.
Soon the whole story came spilling out, his and Cordy's plans, meeting Buffy in the Diner, moving in with her, and most importantly the birth of his son. Xander waited for Angel to break the silence, wanting him to say something, even if he was just going to yell. But he didn't yell, all he said was that he understood. Buffy was a great woman and Xander must love her very much and that maybe Xander had a lot more to offer Buffy then he did.
For some reason this upset Xander very much. "Don't you understand? She loves you, she cries every night waiting for you to come. I was being selfish, I give Buffy a happy, you do" Xander nearly shouted at Angel. "And you are going to come to Colorado sweep Buffy off her feet, get married and live happily ever after."
All right, she's never going to love me the way that I want her to, but at least she's not with deadboy anymore. I can give her and Liam more then he'll ever be able to give them. Xander thought bitterly.
Sure he loved Buffy, and he wanted her to be happy. She was happy living in Colorado with him, wasn't she? Well he had some how convinced himself that he could take Angel's place in her heart. But he was just kidding himself. Buffy had been crying herself to sleep ever since Liam was born and there was nothing that Xander could do that would make her feel better.
She deserved more then this, she deserved to be truly happy and only one person could give her a happy.
That's when he decided to call Angel.
While Buffy was at work and Liam was with Grace, Xander took the opportunity to call Angel.
Well actually he took the opportunity to work up the courage to call Angel. He had no idea how the guy would react.
Finally two hours later he finally dialed Angel's number, it rang and rang and rang. Just as he was about to hang up Angel answered.
"Hello, Angel Investigations, blah blah blah." Angel said with a sad tone in his voice.
Xander was tempted to hang up but he didn't. "Angel, hey this is Xander."
"Xander, hey where have you been? Have you talked to Giles or anyone else?" Angel said.
"Um, no I just needed to talk to you." Xander muttered
"Wait, you don't know what happened?" Angel said, choking on his words. "She's dead Xander, Buffy is dead. Another slayer was called, she had to have died." Angel said as he started to cry. "I'm so sorry"
"no Angel you have nothing to be sorry about" Xander said as he felt the guilt building up inside him. "I have to tell you something and I need you to hear me out before you say anything, ok?"
"Sure, what's up" Angel asked
"First I need to ask you something, Is there anything going on between you and Cordy right now?" Xander asked
"No, why would there be, we're friends but that's it. You know I'll always stay true to Buffy, even if she is …" Angel trailed off
'Well she's not dead, in fact I've been living with her for the past 8 months." Xander said.
Soon the whole story came spilling out, his and Cordy's plans, meeting Buffy in the Diner, moving in with her, and most importantly the birth of his son. Xander waited for Angel to break the silence, wanting him to say something, even if he was just going to yell. But he didn't yell, all he said was that he understood. Buffy was a great woman and Xander must love her very much and that maybe Xander had a lot more to offer Buffy then he did.
For some reason this upset Xander very much. "Don't you understand? She loves you, she cries every night waiting for you to come. I was being selfish, I give Buffy a happy, you do" Xander nearly shouted at Angel. "And you are going to come to Colorado sweep Buffy off her feet, get married and live happily ever after."