Disclaimer: If I owned Evo Toad, would that mean that I owned Noel Fisher too? *starts to drool* Soooo sweeeeet! *evil look* Hmmmm! Shall look into this. ;) Oh yes, he will be mine!
K, this is just a short POV I wrote for Todd. I don't know what really prompted this, I just started typing it. This is THE first thing I have wrote since I've been sick, so please forgive if it's a little off or wierd. *starts to cry* It's the drugs man! They don't let me think for myself! *continues to babble and cry as the men in white coats come*
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IGNORE ME
They must think that I am completely stupid! Just because I have a name like Toad, doesn't mean that I don't have a mind of my own to make up! They put me down day after day, and always manage to exclude me from what they are up to. Do they even know how all this makes me feel? I mean, I know that they are not my real family, but ya know, it would be nice if they at least treated me like I was a friend.
At school, I'm used to being ignored and pushed around, that doesn't bother me. Sure, it hurts my feelings a bit, but I don't have to be there forever, and I always get to go home at the end of the day. Home, yeah, I get to go 'home'!
Anyways, at school, it's easy to ignore those one or two comments from the ever average meat head, because they don't matter to me. They don't ever hang out with me on thoses rare and few occations, and they don't live in the same house as me. So, like I said, it's easy to forget their existance and their glances. They don't care about me, and I don't give a shit about them. I guess that's how it's always supposed to work with the people in my life.
I come home everyday after shool, with the weird and tiring feeling, that I am just walking into the same ingnorance that I left at Bayville High. The same glances and looks, and the same mean comments. Now, like I said, when those come from people you don't know, don't want to know, and definetly don't care about, it doesn't matter. When it comes from the people you DO know, and definetly the poeple you Do care about, and are supossed to care about YOU, it does matter. It hurts far more than anything you can think of.
I mostly hide away in my room to avoid these kind of confrontations with my 'FRIENDS'. I don't care that I am all alone with no one to talk to, because like everything else, it just doesn't matter. They stay down stairs and hang out like I'm not even under the same roof. They never come up and ask me if I would like to join them, and even if they do, it's always when they are doing something stupid and need me to be thier scapegoat. That's right, something goes wrong, lets leave good ol' Todd to take the rap. It's not like he matters none! It's times like those when I wish they WOULD just leave me alone.
I've often thought that maybe everything would be better if I just ran away or sumthin. When I start thinkin that way though, I start to remember what my life was like before I lived here. Roaming day to day with nowhere to call home. I think that in some ways, the street was better. I never had to worry about rejection, cause there was no one around to reject me. I never really knew my parents, so I don't even know if they wanted me.
I guess these feelings all started when I did find people who would judge me. This all comes right back down to the people who are not supposed to judge, but understand. I guess they have every right though. I don't fit in, I never will. They all have thier problems, but at least they look normal.
Maybe I would be better off just killing myself. It's not like anyone would even notice I was gone! God knows they wouldn't care! It's not like I have this wonderful life to live! It would be so simple to do, I doubt it would hurt much. I wonder how long it would take them to find me? Heh, they'd probably just be disappointed that they didn't have anyone to dump thier frustrations on anymore.
Sitting here, I think about this option like so many time before. More and more now-a-days, the idea sounds more and more apealing. No more worries, and definetly no more being the forever butt of all jokes. Like I said before, nothing matters, might as well not even be matter.
I just don't know what I'm going to do anymore. I'm just so tired of being ignored.
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Geez man that was depressing! Figures that the first thing I write in like forever is sad! *sigh* Oh well. I hope that wasn't terribly bad. Like I said up top, I've been so spaced, I don't know what the hell is going on anymore! Between being sick, and taking pills the size of horse tranks, I don't know what is up or down! LOL! This puts such a sucky damper to all my stories!
K, this is just a short POV I wrote for Todd. I don't know what really prompted this, I just started typing it. This is THE first thing I have wrote since I've been sick, so please forgive if it's a little off or wierd. *starts to cry* It's the drugs man! They don't let me think for myself! *continues to babble and cry as the men in white coats come*
=========================
IGNORE ME
They must think that I am completely stupid! Just because I have a name like Toad, doesn't mean that I don't have a mind of my own to make up! They put me down day after day, and always manage to exclude me from what they are up to. Do they even know how all this makes me feel? I mean, I know that they are not my real family, but ya know, it would be nice if they at least treated me like I was a friend.
At school, I'm used to being ignored and pushed around, that doesn't bother me. Sure, it hurts my feelings a bit, but I don't have to be there forever, and I always get to go home at the end of the day. Home, yeah, I get to go 'home'!
Anyways, at school, it's easy to ignore those one or two comments from the ever average meat head, because they don't matter to me. They don't ever hang out with me on thoses rare and few occations, and they don't live in the same house as me. So, like I said, it's easy to forget their existance and their glances. They don't care about me, and I don't give a shit about them. I guess that's how it's always supposed to work with the people in my life.
I come home everyday after shool, with the weird and tiring feeling, that I am just walking into the same ingnorance that I left at Bayville High. The same glances and looks, and the same mean comments. Now, like I said, when those come from people you don't know, don't want to know, and definetly don't care about, it doesn't matter. When it comes from the people you DO know, and definetly the poeple you Do care about, and are supossed to care about YOU, it does matter. It hurts far more than anything you can think of.
I mostly hide away in my room to avoid these kind of confrontations with my 'FRIENDS'. I don't care that I am all alone with no one to talk to, because like everything else, it just doesn't matter. They stay down stairs and hang out like I'm not even under the same roof. They never come up and ask me if I would like to join them, and even if they do, it's always when they are doing something stupid and need me to be thier scapegoat. That's right, something goes wrong, lets leave good ol' Todd to take the rap. It's not like he matters none! It's times like those when I wish they WOULD just leave me alone.
I've often thought that maybe everything would be better if I just ran away or sumthin. When I start thinkin that way though, I start to remember what my life was like before I lived here. Roaming day to day with nowhere to call home. I think that in some ways, the street was better. I never had to worry about rejection, cause there was no one around to reject me. I never really knew my parents, so I don't even know if they wanted me.
I guess these feelings all started when I did find people who would judge me. This all comes right back down to the people who are not supposed to judge, but understand. I guess they have every right though. I don't fit in, I never will. They all have thier problems, but at least they look normal.
Maybe I would be better off just killing myself. It's not like anyone would even notice I was gone! God knows they wouldn't care! It's not like I have this wonderful life to live! It would be so simple to do, I doubt it would hurt much. I wonder how long it would take them to find me? Heh, they'd probably just be disappointed that they didn't have anyone to dump thier frustrations on anymore.
Sitting here, I think about this option like so many time before. More and more now-a-days, the idea sounds more and more apealing. No more worries, and definetly no more being the forever butt of all jokes. Like I said before, nothing matters, might as well not even be matter.
I just don't know what I'm going to do anymore. I'm just so tired of being ignored.
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Geez man that was depressing! Figures that the first thing I write in like forever is sad! *sigh* Oh well. I hope that wasn't terribly bad. Like I said up top, I've been so spaced, I don't know what the hell is going on anymore! Between being sick, and taking pills the size of horse tranks, I don't know what is up or down! LOL! This puts such a sucky damper to all my stories!
