Disclaimer: We still don't own Mario or any other characters, and we still
do own some muffins, and YOU STILL CAN'T HAVE THEM!
Chapter 2
Just a Sweet Transvestite from the Mushroom Kingdom
Mario began slowly to think. It was hard on him, and it took a long time, but he kept at it, and a thought slowly formed.
"What if she's cheating on me with Luigi again?" he wondered, "Then he'll be getting the money!"
Mario started to think again, which prompted a trip to the toilet, and five glasses of water. Finally, he had another idea.
"Maybe I can use her umbrella as an excuse to follow after her!" He cried to the ceiling. "And then, when I find that no-good shithead brother of mine giving her a ride on the Tower of Power, I can just rip off his nads with a wrench, and all will be solved!"
So, Mario got up and went to his bedroom to change his pants.
"I'll just wear some of my dirty pants," he thought, while searching for his semen-coated trousers. "Where are my pants?!" he cried. Then he realized that those damn toads must have taken his pants somewhere to be cleaned. Damn he hated those toads. He remembered the New Year's party the year before, when he had gotten piss drunk and thought he could get high off one of them. He never thought someone's head could bleed so much. Oh well. One less of the little bastards in the world. Then he decided to use one of the toads' pants.
After rooting around in their room, he was able to find a pair of pants. "Ah," he thought, "Now I'll be able to go after Peach!" Suddenly, the toad whose pants he had taken burst into the room.
"What are you doing with my pants, Mario?!" the toad cried in its shrill voice.
"I'm gunna borrow your pants," he said, pulling them up, ripping them in half in the process. "Why are you so damn small?!" he screamed, "Why can't you be bigger, so your pants would be more useful?!"
"Because not everybody can be a big, fat, stupid sack of shit like you, Mario!" it yelled. "I don't even know why I love you!" With that, it ran out of the room, crying.
"Little shit," muttered Mario, "Stupid gay little shit."
Mario was suddenly very aware of his problem. He needed something to cover his yarbles, but there were no worthwhile pants in the house. Then he realized the solution. Peach had lots of dresses. Dresses were kind of like pants!
Several minutes later, after cutting the lock off the door, he stepped into Peach's room. He made his way to the closet, and selected one of the twenty or so identical pink gowns. He slipped it over his head, and stood back to admire himself in the mirror.
"Not bad," said Mario out loud, "Not bad at all. I could almost get past the mustache and screw myself."
With that, he began to leave. However, he noticed the large spot on the front of the dress, where he had made a mess with his winky. He shrugged, and got another dress.
Sixteen dresses, five bras, and twelve pairs of panties later, he was finally done. He smiled at himself, and prepared to leave the house.
As he walked towards the door, Toadsworth came in, whining about his glasses. Suddenly, he looked up.
"Why, Princess Peach, you can't go out like that! You aren't even properly made up!"
Toadsworth took Mario by the hand, and led him back to Peach's room. Mario was immediately glad that he had hidden the evidence of all he had done under the bed. Toadsworth then began to "make-up" Mario. Mario was displeased, but remembered that Toadsworth had once said that if he ever caught Mario in Peach's room again, he would take him out and shoot him. That was about the same time Peach had put the lock on her door. Mario personally didn't see what the big deal was; it was only a dildo. But, he knew that he should keep his mouth shut for his own safety, and hope Toadsworth didn't find his glasses.
"What's this fuzzy stuff under your nose, Peach?" asked Toadsworth, shaking Mario out of his memories.
"That's-"he began, but realized his mistake, and started over, speaking in a terrible impression of Peach's voice. "That's.uhhhh.a ferret?" he offered.
"But Peach.you don't have to lie.I know about your condition. It's okay. We'll shave it off. No one has to know."
Ten minutes later, Mario walked down the beach, carrying Peach's umbrella. He wondered as he went about this "condition" Peach supposedly had. He shuddered, and walked on.
What's happening? What the hell does all this have to do with anything?! Find out in chapter 3!
Chapter 2
Just a Sweet Transvestite from the Mushroom Kingdom
Mario began slowly to think. It was hard on him, and it took a long time, but he kept at it, and a thought slowly formed.
"What if she's cheating on me with Luigi again?" he wondered, "Then he'll be getting the money!"
Mario started to think again, which prompted a trip to the toilet, and five glasses of water. Finally, he had another idea.
"Maybe I can use her umbrella as an excuse to follow after her!" He cried to the ceiling. "And then, when I find that no-good shithead brother of mine giving her a ride on the Tower of Power, I can just rip off his nads with a wrench, and all will be solved!"
So, Mario got up and went to his bedroom to change his pants.
"I'll just wear some of my dirty pants," he thought, while searching for his semen-coated trousers. "Where are my pants?!" he cried. Then he realized that those damn toads must have taken his pants somewhere to be cleaned. Damn he hated those toads. He remembered the New Year's party the year before, when he had gotten piss drunk and thought he could get high off one of them. He never thought someone's head could bleed so much. Oh well. One less of the little bastards in the world. Then he decided to use one of the toads' pants.
After rooting around in their room, he was able to find a pair of pants. "Ah," he thought, "Now I'll be able to go after Peach!" Suddenly, the toad whose pants he had taken burst into the room.
"What are you doing with my pants, Mario?!" the toad cried in its shrill voice.
"I'm gunna borrow your pants," he said, pulling them up, ripping them in half in the process. "Why are you so damn small?!" he screamed, "Why can't you be bigger, so your pants would be more useful?!"
"Because not everybody can be a big, fat, stupid sack of shit like you, Mario!" it yelled. "I don't even know why I love you!" With that, it ran out of the room, crying.
"Little shit," muttered Mario, "Stupid gay little shit."
Mario was suddenly very aware of his problem. He needed something to cover his yarbles, but there were no worthwhile pants in the house. Then he realized the solution. Peach had lots of dresses. Dresses were kind of like pants!
Several minutes later, after cutting the lock off the door, he stepped into Peach's room. He made his way to the closet, and selected one of the twenty or so identical pink gowns. He slipped it over his head, and stood back to admire himself in the mirror.
"Not bad," said Mario out loud, "Not bad at all. I could almost get past the mustache and screw myself."
With that, he began to leave. However, he noticed the large spot on the front of the dress, where he had made a mess with his winky. He shrugged, and got another dress.
Sixteen dresses, five bras, and twelve pairs of panties later, he was finally done. He smiled at himself, and prepared to leave the house.
As he walked towards the door, Toadsworth came in, whining about his glasses. Suddenly, he looked up.
"Why, Princess Peach, you can't go out like that! You aren't even properly made up!"
Toadsworth took Mario by the hand, and led him back to Peach's room. Mario was immediately glad that he had hidden the evidence of all he had done under the bed. Toadsworth then began to "make-up" Mario. Mario was displeased, but remembered that Toadsworth had once said that if he ever caught Mario in Peach's room again, he would take him out and shoot him. That was about the same time Peach had put the lock on her door. Mario personally didn't see what the big deal was; it was only a dildo. But, he knew that he should keep his mouth shut for his own safety, and hope Toadsworth didn't find his glasses.
"What's this fuzzy stuff under your nose, Peach?" asked Toadsworth, shaking Mario out of his memories.
"That's-"he began, but realized his mistake, and started over, speaking in a terrible impression of Peach's voice. "That's.uhhhh.a ferret?" he offered.
"But Peach.you don't have to lie.I know about your condition. It's okay. We'll shave it off. No one has to know."
Ten minutes later, Mario walked down the beach, carrying Peach's umbrella. He wondered as he went about this "condition" Peach supposedly had. He shuddered, and walked on.
What's happening? What the hell does all this have to do with anything?! Find out in chapter 3!