Squuueeeeeee! Reviews, I have eight! *holds up eight fingers* Eight! But I
dream of ten, of more then ten! Of hundreds! *sighs dreamily* Missy wants
to say something.
*Hiiiii, Sssscccaaathhyy! I am pleassed that I have a fan. And yes, I do plan to ssssteal the One Ring. It's all ssssppaarkklyy, aaannnddd eevviill. And Elllveessss ttasssttee goooood. Sssssooooo goooood. I don't want to bite the Dwarf. He sssmmmeeelllssss ssssstrange. Sssccaaathhaathh iissss a good name. Gandalf is old, and sssmellssss weird. I don't want to bite him either. Ssseee you later, okkaayy?*
Thanks to all my reviewers, I'm sorry I can't remember your names, the net is so far away! But thanks to you all, you know who you are! *gives out 'Go Missy' flags* Wave your flags at all Missy attacks. If you want a 'Go Missy' flag, then you have to review. There's your incentive *sigh* people are so greedy nowadays. And no, I don't always shut Missy up in a box. Would you like her to escape? Oh dear me, no. Imagine Missy wreaking havoc on the world *sigh* *wipes tear away* I'd be so proud of her! She'd be all grown up and stuff. One, two, three, aaawwwww. . .
"How does this spell work?" Legolas asks with a perplexed look on his face.
"I wouldn't worry about it. You're going back to Middle Earth." I say firmly.
"But how does it work, do I say the numbers? Does it summon them?"
"Remember, no magic! Magic is not real, not true and nonexistent. You use a machine. It's sorta like Galadriel's mirror, but it only does sound. And I'm not letting you call them and that's that." Legolas is looking at me with puppy dog eyes, awww. No! I am doomed! Doom-med! Why am I fixating on Legolas? I mean, blondes hardly ever do it for me. Stupid mary sueness. Now, Hugh Jackman, or Heath Ledger on the other hand. Drool. I shake my head and my gaze fastens on Boromir. He has ripply muscles. Eep! Can not someone save me from the predatations of the deadly mary sueness?
Why me? Of all the people in the world, why me in particular? Yes, I like the book, and yes, I liked the movie, but I really did not want to meet the Fellowship in person. Like King Arthur, you know. I like reading about Arthur and the Grail and his knights, but I think the real King Arthur would be a rather smelly old brigand with the excuse of birth for his actions. And with good magic, you get bad magic. Which can do some rather horrible things. I read a fantasy novel where a witch replaced a person's bones with meat ants. It was rather graphic. Apparently, the ants ate them from the inside out as they writhed screaming on the ground. Not particularly nice. Shudder.
I pluck the papers out of Boromir's and Legolas' hands, then put them into a bin. My phone rings. "Hello?" I wave at the Fellowship to stop. They mill around me, like confused sheep.
"Hey, Sandy! Where are ya?"
"Just entering the Foodcourt. Where are you?"
"I'm in line at Macca's. Go find a table, and I'll find you. What are you wearing?"
"LotR outfits."
"You're kidding me."
"Unfortunately not. There's something I have to tell you, and don't scream."
"I promise I won't scream."
"And I'm telling the truth, not bullshitting you. Got that in mind? And don't tell the other people in the line, ok?"
"Ok. Spill it."
"The guys are the Fellowship of the Ring." I hold the phone away from my ear wincing as she screams. She always does that. "Yes, they're all here. Gandalf stuffed up a spell, he's not here thank goodness. He's at my house, sleeping off the aftereffects of a high."
"Is Legolas there?"
"Yes, unfortunately. Missy keeps trying to eat him."
"Oh the poor Elf!"
"I'm glad you feel that way. I left Missy at home, but how long it will take her to escape and chase me down, I don't know. So far, it's been about half an hour. Well, we'll find somewhere to sit, and then you can come and keep an eye on them for me while I buy food."
"Ok! See ya soon!" Click. I better find a table, several tables and lots of seats. There! A group of chattering girls getting up. I thread my ways through the tables and grab the seats as they leave.
"Ok, sit!" The Fellowship sits. "Now, we're just waiting for my friend, Jenny, to join us. Please, please pretend that she's not a mary sue, because I think she is. Which means, be nice, but ignore her most of the time. The author will probably try to fill her with love and seduce one of you. And I would rather that you didn't sleep with one of my friends. It would be hard to explain, after. When you leave." They all nod slowly. "And Legolas, she has a crush on you, so please, please be nice. I think that's all, but there may be other things that come up." Legolas looks away. Is that a yes, I agree with you, or I'll do what I feel like? Please be yes. I seem to be doing a lot of pleading of late. With who, I don't know. The Universe, in general I think.
"Hey, Sandy!" There's Jenny. Please oh please oh please. . .
Is Jenny a mary sue? Is Legolas a flirt? *laugh* Will Sandy's paranoia be justified, or is it a sign that the nice men in white coats are coming soon? But it really is true, everything and everyone is out to get me! *glances around suspiciously* You! You're out to get me! *snarls* Help! Help! The Universe is in a conspiracy against me! You're all in it! Aaaaaahhhhhhh! *runs screaming into distance*
*Hiiiii, Sssscccaaathhyy! I am pleassed that I have a fan. And yes, I do plan to ssssteal the One Ring. It's all ssssppaarkklyy, aaannnddd eevviill. And Elllveessss ttasssttee goooood. Sssssooooo goooood. I don't want to bite the Dwarf. He sssmmmeeelllssss ssssstrange. Sssccaaathhaathh iissss a good name. Gandalf is old, and sssmellssss weird. I don't want to bite him either. Ssseee you later, okkaayy?*
Thanks to all my reviewers, I'm sorry I can't remember your names, the net is so far away! But thanks to you all, you know who you are! *gives out 'Go Missy' flags* Wave your flags at all Missy attacks. If you want a 'Go Missy' flag, then you have to review. There's your incentive *sigh* people are so greedy nowadays. And no, I don't always shut Missy up in a box. Would you like her to escape? Oh dear me, no. Imagine Missy wreaking havoc on the world *sigh* *wipes tear away* I'd be so proud of her! She'd be all grown up and stuff. One, two, three, aaawwwww. . .
"How does this spell work?" Legolas asks with a perplexed look on his face.
"I wouldn't worry about it. You're going back to Middle Earth." I say firmly.
"But how does it work, do I say the numbers? Does it summon them?"
"Remember, no magic! Magic is not real, not true and nonexistent. You use a machine. It's sorta like Galadriel's mirror, but it only does sound. And I'm not letting you call them and that's that." Legolas is looking at me with puppy dog eyes, awww. No! I am doomed! Doom-med! Why am I fixating on Legolas? I mean, blondes hardly ever do it for me. Stupid mary sueness. Now, Hugh Jackman, or Heath Ledger on the other hand. Drool. I shake my head and my gaze fastens on Boromir. He has ripply muscles. Eep! Can not someone save me from the predatations of the deadly mary sueness?
Why me? Of all the people in the world, why me in particular? Yes, I like the book, and yes, I liked the movie, but I really did not want to meet the Fellowship in person. Like King Arthur, you know. I like reading about Arthur and the Grail and his knights, but I think the real King Arthur would be a rather smelly old brigand with the excuse of birth for his actions. And with good magic, you get bad magic. Which can do some rather horrible things. I read a fantasy novel where a witch replaced a person's bones with meat ants. It was rather graphic. Apparently, the ants ate them from the inside out as they writhed screaming on the ground. Not particularly nice. Shudder.
I pluck the papers out of Boromir's and Legolas' hands, then put them into a bin. My phone rings. "Hello?" I wave at the Fellowship to stop. They mill around me, like confused sheep.
"Hey, Sandy! Where are ya?"
"Just entering the Foodcourt. Where are you?"
"I'm in line at Macca's. Go find a table, and I'll find you. What are you wearing?"
"LotR outfits."
"You're kidding me."
"Unfortunately not. There's something I have to tell you, and don't scream."
"I promise I won't scream."
"And I'm telling the truth, not bullshitting you. Got that in mind? And don't tell the other people in the line, ok?"
"Ok. Spill it."
"The guys are the Fellowship of the Ring." I hold the phone away from my ear wincing as she screams. She always does that. "Yes, they're all here. Gandalf stuffed up a spell, he's not here thank goodness. He's at my house, sleeping off the aftereffects of a high."
"Is Legolas there?"
"Yes, unfortunately. Missy keeps trying to eat him."
"Oh the poor Elf!"
"I'm glad you feel that way. I left Missy at home, but how long it will take her to escape and chase me down, I don't know. So far, it's been about half an hour. Well, we'll find somewhere to sit, and then you can come and keep an eye on them for me while I buy food."
"Ok! See ya soon!" Click. I better find a table, several tables and lots of seats. There! A group of chattering girls getting up. I thread my ways through the tables and grab the seats as they leave.
"Ok, sit!" The Fellowship sits. "Now, we're just waiting for my friend, Jenny, to join us. Please, please pretend that she's not a mary sue, because I think she is. Which means, be nice, but ignore her most of the time. The author will probably try to fill her with love and seduce one of you. And I would rather that you didn't sleep with one of my friends. It would be hard to explain, after. When you leave." They all nod slowly. "And Legolas, she has a crush on you, so please, please be nice. I think that's all, but there may be other things that come up." Legolas looks away. Is that a yes, I agree with you, or I'll do what I feel like? Please be yes. I seem to be doing a lot of pleading of late. With who, I don't know. The Universe, in general I think.
"Hey, Sandy!" There's Jenny. Please oh please oh please. . .
Is Jenny a mary sue? Is Legolas a flirt? *laugh* Will Sandy's paranoia be justified, or is it a sign that the nice men in white coats are coming soon? But it really is true, everything and everyone is out to get me! *glances around suspiciously* You! You're out to get me! *snarls* Help! Help! The Universe is in a conspiracy against me! You're all in it! Aaaaaahhhhhhh! *runs screaming into distance*