A violent rotating windstorm.
I've never felt so alone. Of course, there's a hell of a lot of irony in that. My parents leaving me at GARDEN? Hah, that was nothing. I'd frozen them out by then already. Life was better away from them. And the many, many months before I met Raijin? Didn't feel lonely then either. And yet, because one man rejected me, I feel utterly alone, despite how I'm not. I have friends… I have Raijin. I'm not alone… and yet I feel like I'm standing by myself in a dark void.
I want to hate you, Seifer Almasy. I want to hate you for making me feel like this… completely useless and weak. From the very beginning, I swore to myself I'd never fall to the clutches of heartbreak… yet, here I am. And you caused it. And I want to hate you for that. Oh, but I can't. If anyone else had done this to me, I'd have slashed them a few times and left them bleeding on the ground, while I went off to have a drink with Raijin, laughing about it. But, like always, you're the exception. I could never harm you nor freeze you out.
How could you do this to me?! How could you reduce me to this? A typical girl with a broken heart. How vile. And yet, I can't get myself out of this… this… repetitive mind frame, centered completely around you.
Countless times, I've laughed at those girls around GARDEN… moping endlessly because their boyfriend of the week dumped them. I've seen them weep on the shoulders of friends. I've seen them practically fall to the floor at the sight of their ex. And I would only laugh. After all, who would be so weak? So fragile? And those girls intended to be SeeDs. Ridiculous! The pain of heartbreak was a joke to me. Love couldn't be that powerful. Nothing was.
I found out I was wrong, Seifer. Thanks to you.
It's been… oh, I've lost count. Over a month? And yet, you're still in my mind. You're still in my thoughts… my dreams! Each night… the dream is the same. I dream of you… smiling at me. Then turning away and kissing another girl. The girl is faceless. She's just another girl. After all, girls mean nothing to you. Just there… for whatever purposes you need filled at that moment.
How… could you do that to me, Seifer? How could you just dump me like that… and turn me into this? So weak… I disgust myself. But still, I can't get over it… over you. I'm not one of those ditzy girls in GARDEN… who would faint at the sight of blood. I'm not an air-head, who swoons after the movie star of the week, and cries at night because I can't have him, even though I think I deserve him. And yet… I'm behaving no differently. A boy broke my heart… and here I lay… broken. Broken and still praying he'll come back, pick up the pieces and make me whole again.
I've never felt so alone and disgusted with myself. And yet, I still look out the window the moment I hear a sound… hoping it's you, coming back to me… to tell me you made a mistake. Or that it was all a joke. Haha… great joke…
Author's Notes: Poor girl. Fujin really intrigues me. I've no idea where I'm going with this story yet (not completely)... but, I do plan on further exploring her chracter and background.