I have been inspired! Welcome to the Very Private Diary of Missy. Inspired
by the Very Private Diaries of the Fellowship.
Day 1. Ate Mouse. Was a v. skinny mouse, but tasted good. Decided to catch another one later.
Day 2. Chased child. Did not catch, but did bite on ankle. Child screamed. Was fun!
Day 3. Went to vet's. Was v. bad. Got a shot, and it hurt. Have decided that I am prettiest cat anywhere after seeing poor ugly unfortunates at vet.
Day 4. Chased Sandyhuman's boyfriend around house. Caught him. He tasted good. Am still prettiest cat. No one can beat me. I am prettiest, with best fur. And best eyes. Sandyhuman says I am a good girl. And a gorgeous girl. Go me!
Day 50. Have decided that humans are fun to chase. They scream and run away, which is fun. Am still prettiest cat, because I ripped that pushy Siamese's ears to shreds. I win! The name of the game is, I win. Because I am the prettiest. Hehe!
Day 135. Had bath. My fur is lovely and conditioned. I smell v. good. I like baths. Am still prettiest cat anywhere. My Sandyhuman agrees.
Day 247. Got new collar! It is sparkly. I like it lots. It's blue and goes well with my fur and eyes. Makes me even prettier. Am still prettiest kitten\cat anywhere. Beat up uppity Russian Blue who tried to pretend it was prettiest cat anywhere. Is not v. pretty any more. Sandyhuman got a new boyfriend. Not any more she don't! He didn't taste as good as the last one. I don't think he washed his hair very often.
Day 720. Elves taste good. I like Elves. Chased Legolaself. Elves taste v. good. Weird human asleep on my bed. He smells bad. I bit him, and he didn't wake up. Dwarves smell v. bad. Hobbits taste ok, but not as good as Elf. V. greasy human and another human besides the bed stealer. Weird little Hobbit with frying pans v. protective of another Hobbit it calls Mr. Frodo. Have noticed it eyeing off anyone who tries to get close to this Mr. Frodo. Is v. amusing. I think this Samhobbit will kill anyone who tries anything. Sandyhuman took all of them out except the sleeping one.
Later that day... Found weird fishy smelling thing. Bit it. Tasted bad! V. v. bad. It screamed out all weird things about it's precious and Bagginses. Whatever a Bagginses is. It ran into the bathroom and hid. I tried to get it out, but it wouldn't come out. Decided to go find Sandyhuman because I was bored and hungry.
Even later... Found Sandyhuman. Bit Legolaself again. He still tastes good. Bit some weird humans too. They tasted different to other humans I have bit. Salty. Ate a cheeseburger and chicken nuggets. Got an icecream. I like icecream. Went home.
Later then that... Sandyhuman found the fishything in the bathroom. She screamed, then the Legolaself and the Gimlidwarf bashed it on the head. It screamed. I bit it, then bit Legolaself. He screamed. Then they all went away. I decided to go with them, I wanted to find out if other Elves taste as good as Legolaself.
Day 733. It's true. Other Elves do taste as good as Legolaself. This one called Elrond tastes extra good. So does this Arwenelf. When I bit the Arwenelf, Aragornhuman tried to hit me. Bit him. V. greasy. Does he never wash? I have decided that Orcs taste worse then the fishything. Goblins are yummy though. All crunchy, and they scream wonderfully. I miss Sandyhuman. Am still prettiest. I haven't seen any other cats though. Maybe are no other cats. Am prettier then all the Elves. I have a sparkly collar.
Day 752. Legolaself stole my collar! I bit him v. hard. He screamed and ran away. Am still prettiest. Bit Gimlidwarf too, but had to spend a long time washing mouth out. Eventually bit greasyhuman, the Aragornhuman to get rid of taste. Did not work. Bit Gandalfhuman to get rid of taste. Did not work. Could not find an Elf anywhere! Bit Mrfrodohobbit to get rid of taste. Did work. Got bashed on head by Samwisehobbit. Bit him. He tasted v. good. Better then the other hobbits.
Day 756. Am now back home because I bit Gandalfhuman too often. And I scratched his wooden stick thingy. He is very possessive of his staffstick. Sandyhuman was v. glad to see me. Bit her new boyfriend. Tasted as good as Hobbit. Wonder if I will ever find another Elf. Am now addicted to Elves. Am v. bored. Decided to beat up Rotweiller next door. Won. Am still prettiest. Chased little white cat out of street because it said it was the prettiest. It was wrong. I am prettiest cat anywhere. Go me! Will now go chase mice, they squirm and taste good. Have new collar. Is even better collar then before. Has diamantes. It is leopard print. Sandyhuman says it looks good. I am so the prettiest! Much, much prettier then that Legolaself. Stupid Elf, stole my old collar. But I have a new one! Yay!
Well, what do you think? This is probably the first last and only one of these I'll do. Well, now I have to finish my Sandy story, so I can post this.
Day 1. Ate Mouse. Was a v. skinny mouse, but tasted good. Decided to catch another one later.
Day 2. Chased child. Did not catch, but did bite on ankle. Child screamed. Was fun!
Day 3. Went to vet's. Was v. bad. Got a shot, and it hurt. Have decided that I am prettiest cat anywhere after seeing poor ugly unfortunates at vet.
Day 4. Chased Sandyhuman's boyfriend around house. Caught him. He tasted good. Am still prettiest cat. No one can beat me. I am prettiest, with best fur. And best eyes. Sandyhuman says I am a good girl. And a gorgeous girl. Go me!
Day 50. Have decided that humans are fun to chase. They scream and run away, which is fun. Am still prettiest cat, because I ripped that pushy Siamese's ears to shreds. I win! The name of the game is, I win. Because I am the prettiest. Hehe!
Day 135. Had bath. My fur is lovely and conditioned. I smell v. good. I like baths. Am still prettiest cat anywhere. My Sandyhuman agrees.
Day 247. Got new collar! It is sparkly. I like it lots. It's blue and goes well with my fur and eyes. Makes me even prettier. Am still prettiest kitten\cat anywhere. Beat up uppity Russian Blue who tried to pretend it was prettiest cat anywhere. Is not v. pretty any more. Sandyhuman got a new boyfriend. Not any more she don't! He didn't taste as good as the last one. I don't think he washed his hair very often.
Day 720. Elves taste good. I like Elves. Chased Legolaself. Elves taste v. good. Weird human asleep on my bed. He smells bad. I bit him, and he didn't wake up. Dwarves smell v. bad. Hobbits taste ok, but not as good as Elf. V. greasy human and another human besides the bed stealer. Weird little Hobbit with frying pans v. protective of another Hobbit it calls Mr. Frodo. Have noticed it eyeing off anyone who tries to get close to this Mr. Frodo. Is v. amusing. I think this Samhobbit will kill anyone who tries anything. Sandyhuman took all of them out except the sleeping one.
Later that day... Found weird fishy smelling thing. Bit it. Tasted bad! V. v. bad. It screamed out all weird things about it's precious and Bagginses. Whatever a Bagginses is. It ran into the bathroom and hid. I tried to get it out, but it wouldn't come out. Decided to go find Sandyhuman because I was bored and hungry.
Even later... Found Sandyhuman. Bit Legolaself again. He still tastes good. Bit some weird humans too. They tasted different to other humans I have bit. Salty. Ate a cheeseburger and chicken nuggets. Got an icecream. I like icecream. Went home.
Later then that... Sandyhuman found the fishything in the bathroom. She screamed, then the Legolaself and the Gimlidwarf bashed it on the head. It screamed. I bit it, then bit Legolaself. He screamed. Then they all went away. I decided to go with them, I wanted to find out if other Elves taste as good as Legolaself.
Day 733. It's true. Other Elves do taste as good as Legolaself. This one called Elrond tastes extra good. So does this Arwenelf. When I bit the Arwenelf, Aragornhuman tried to hit me. Bit him. V. greasy. Does he never wash? I have decided that Orcs taste worse then the fishything. Goblins are yummy though. All crunchy, and they scream wonderfully. I miss Sandyhuman. Am still prettiest. I haven't seen any other cats though. Maybe are no other cats. Am prettier then all the Elves. I have a sparkly collar.
Day 752. Legolaself stole my collar! I bit him v. hard. He screamed and ran away. Am still prettiest. Bit Gimlidwarf too, but had to spend a long time washing mouth out. Eventually bit greasyhuman, the Aragornhuman to get rid of taste. Did not work. Bit Gandalfhuman to get rid of taste. Did not work. Could not find an Elf anywhere! Bit Mrfrodohobbit to get rid of taste. Did work. Got bashed on head by Samwisehobbit. Bit him. He tasted v. good. Better then the other hobbits.
Day 756. Am now back home because I bit Gandalfhuman too often. And I scratched his wooden stick thingy. He is very possessive of his staffstick. Sandyhuman was v. glad to see me. Bit her new boyfriend. Tasted as good as Hobbit. Wonder if I will ever find another Elf. Am now addicted to Elves. Am v. bored. Decided to beat up Rotweiller next door. Won. Am still prettiest. Chased little white cat out of street because it said it was the prettiest. It was wrong. I am prettiest cat anywhere. Go me! Will now go chase mice, they squirm and taste good. Have new collar. Is even better collar then before. Has diamantes. It is leopard print. Sandyhuman says it looks good. I am so the prettiest! Much, much prettier then that Legolaself. Stupid Elf, stole my old collar. But I have a new one! Yay!
Well, what do you think? This is probably the first last and only one of these I'll do. Well, now I have to finish my Sandy story, so I can post this.