New Year's Eve 2002
By Morganperidot
Will Truman sighed, then pulled open the refrigerator door and took out the bottle of expensive champagne. The light from the appliance spilled out into the darkness of the apartment. It was 10 pm on New Year's Eve, and Will was alone. He shut the refrigerator door and took the bottle to the kitchen counter. That wasn't entirely true, he thought; he had a broken heart to keep him company.
And this time it wasn't broken because of a man. This time it was a woman.
This time it was Grace Adler. Grace Adler...Markus.
Will filled the single flute glass on the counter and set the bottle aside. He took the glass over to the sofa in front of the TV and sat. Atop the dark television the tiny flame on a big white candle danced. Will smiled sadly and took a sip of the champagne.
Of course he could have been dancing at that new club in the Village, Boyz Toyz. Jack had tried everything he could think of to badger Will into going to the party there, but Will had wasn't in the mood, choosing instead to stay home and mope.
To stay home and pine.
Will shook his head. It wasn't like that. Christ, it wasn't about pining for Grace.
Was it?
He pressed the power button on the remote and flicked through the channels, past the New Year's shows, to a sappy movie on cable. He curled his legs on the sofa and tried to concentrate on the movie.
But all he saw was Grace.
OK, I love her, he thought. I've always known that, like I've always known that this would happen - she would get married and leave their nest to build a life with a husband and have a family. She was an incredible woman who deserved to have everything she wanted - and that was what she wanted. It wasn't like she was going to spend her entire life hanging around with her gay best friend. He knew that.
So why the hell did it hurt so much?
He took another sip of champagne and set the glass aside. Leo Markus was a good man; he seemed to love Grace and want to give her everything. Will knew he should be happy for her. But he wasn't. He wanted nothing more than for her to call him up sobbing or come and bang on the door with stories about how it wasn't going to work out, the marriage was a mistake, and she needed him to rescue her. Will looked at the door. As terrible as it was, that was the truth - he wanted Grace to come back to her gay white knight, to cry on his shoulder and snuggle up with him to drink hot cocoa and watch women's movies.
And waste her life.
No, he didn't want that - even though he did.
And that was why it hurt.
The phone rang, and Will sighed again. He knew it was Jack, and he didn't want to get badgered again. After the beep, music and giggling came through the speaker followed by Jack's voice: "C'mon, Will, I know you're there. Get down here and shake that butt of yours. Even you could get some tonight." More giggling as Jack hushed his latest conquest. "Don't be a wet blanket, girlfriend." The machine fell silent, and Will smiled. He knew that beneath all the flamboyant craziness Jack was a good friend who was worried about him. And he knew it would be a hell of a lot healthier for him to go to the club and do some bumping and grinding with the men there than to sit around thinking about the woman that got away...
Christ, it really wasn't like that.
Was it?
No, he didn't want to be with a woman...he just wanted to be with Grace.
But, of course, Grace was a woman, a straight woman, and he was gay, and there was nowhere for this to go but around and around in a circle that would never get them anywhere.
He had to let go. He had to let Grace have her future. He had to let her be happy.
The phone rang again, and once again he knew who it was. He just knew. How could he not know? He knew her. He knew Grace.
"Will, answer the phone."
He emptied the glass and stood up, but instead of going to the phone he went back to the counter to refill the glass.
"Will, I know you're there. I talked to Jack and Karen. Talk to me."
He stared at the phone. Let go, he told himself. He turned away and went back to the sofa, turned up the volume on the TV, and started flipping channels again.
"Damn it, Will, turn the TV off and talk to me."
Will smiled. She knew him too.
And then he heard the door open. He closed his eyes and leaned back. If he was lucky it was a burglar looking for an empty place to rob on the holiday. But he knew he wasn't that lucky. He should have changed that stupid lock or made her leave her key...
"Hey."
He opened his eyes. The dress was all wrong: too silver, the neckline too round, too long and clingy for Grace's lanky frame. Her hair hung loose and frizzy - wasn't she using that new conditioner he got? He opened his mouth to let out the barb that was on the tip of his tongue - and then closed it.
She was beautiful.
Grace put her cell phone in a small silver purse and sat down beside him. "So, what is this? Boycotting fun?" she asked. "I think you might have even put a damper on Jack's holiday frolics."
"He called before you did. It sounded like the festivities were in full swing."
"He loves you, Will. When he called me..."
"He shouldn't have done that," Will said, standing up. He walked back to the kitchen.
"He's worried about you."
"I'm fine."
"Right, sitting around in the dark on New Year's Eve is fine."
He didn't look at her. "Go home, Grace."
"No," she said. "You may be able to throw Jack out of here, but..."
"Grace, go home," Will said, turning. "Go be with your husband. It's New Year's Eve; you're supposed to be with him."
"You're my best friend, Will..."
"No, I'm not."
He watched her eyes widen in surprise. "What? Are you drunk? Look, I know you get tipsy easily, but..."
"Would your best friend want you to be unhappy?"
"You don't want..."
"I want him gone," Will said with a certainty he wished he didn't feel. "I want Leo out of the picture and you here with me, the same hopeless Grace who needs the great gay Will to come to her rescue." He filled his glass again. "I want things the way they were."
"Will, that..."
"And that isn't the worst of it," he said. "I want things to be the way they can never be." There was a long silence, and Will drank down the champagne. Hell of a happy New Year, he thought. He looked back at her. "Go home, Grace."
"What are you saying?" she asked quietly.
"I'm saying be happy. Spend New Year's with your husband. Have a family. Do everything and be everything you want and need to do and be."
"Because you can't give me that."
"We both know who we are, Grace."
"Do we?" she got up and waddled toward him in the too-tight dress and the too-high shoes. Despite how bad he felt, Will almost laughed. "You can't just decide you aren't my best friend, Will Truman," she said, poking him in the chest. "I don't care what kind of change-of-life-sexual-identity crisis you are having, buddy, but you are not ditching me, got it?"
Will couldn't help it; he smiled. "What is with this dress?" he asked.
"It's a designer dress..."
"That looks like it should be on a Barbie doll."
"Are you saying I'm fat?"
"You can't even walk in this thing, and the shoes are ridiculous."
"Well, at least I'm not wearing a T-shirt and jeans on New Year's Eve."
She was so close to him, and when Will looked in her eyes his heart sank again. "I can't do this, Grace," he said. "I have to let go."
"I can't let you do that."
He moved away from her. "This isn't going to work, anymore. Don't you see that? There's no place for me in your life. There's no place for us. You have a husband; you'll have a family..."
"You are my family, Will. Don't you know that?" The words hit him hard, and he didn't know what to say. "You are my brother, sister, girlfriend, best friend, and my great gay Will. I love you, and there is no way in hell you are letting me go, do you hear that? Do you think this has been easy for me? Do you think I haven't missed you? Damn you, Will..."
"OK," Will said softly. "You don't have to be such a drama queen."
Grace's eyes glistened. "Right, you're the queen around here."
"Damn straight," Will said.
Grace laughed. "Come here," she said, and he walked over to her and drew her into his arms. They held each other for a long time, and Will let out the breath that it seemed like he'd been holding forever. "OK," Grace said. "Go make yourself pretty, and I'll drop you off at Boyz Toyz."
Will smiled. "Happy New Year, Grace."
"Happy New Year, Will." He kissed her cheek gently before heading off to get ready.
By Morganperidot
Will Truman sighed, then pulled open the refrigerator door and took out the bottle of expensive champagne. The light from the appliance spilled out into the darkness of the apartment. It was 10 pm on New Year's Eve, and Will was alone. He shut the refrigerator door and took the bottle to the kitchen counter. That wasn't entirely true, he thought; he had a broken heart to keep him company.
And this time it wasn't broken because of a man. This time it was a woman.
This time it was Grace Adler. Grace Adler...Markus.
Will filled the single flute glass on the counter and set the bottle aside. He took the glass over to the sofa in front of the TV and sat. Atop the dark television the tiny flame on a big white candle danced. Will smiled sadly and took a sip of the champagne.
Of course he could have been dancing at that new club in the Village, Boyz Toyz. Jack had tried everything he could think of to badger Will into going to the party there, but Will had wasn't in the mood, choosing instead to stay home and mope.
To stay home and pine.
Will shook his head. It wasn't like that. Christ, it wasn't about pining for Grace.
Was it?
He pressed the power button on the remote and flicked through the channels, past the New Year's shows, to a sappy movie on cable. He curled his legs on the sofa and tried to concentrate on the movie.
But all he saw was Grace.
OK, I love her, he thought. I've always known that, like I've always known that this would happen - she would get married and leave their nest to build a life with a husband and have a family. She was an incredible woman who deserved to have everything she wanted - and that was what she wanted. It wasn't like she was going to spend her entire life hanging around with her gay best friend. He knew that.
So why the hell did it hurt so much?
He took another sip of champagne and set the glass aside. Leo Markus was a good man; he seemed to love Grace and want to give her everything. Will knew he should be happy for her. But he wasn't. He wanted nothing more than for her to call him up sobbing or come and bang on the door with stories about how it wasn't going to work out, the marriage was a mistake, and she needed him to rescue her. Will looked at the door. As terrible as it was, that was the truth - he wanted Grace to come back to her gay white knight, to cry on his shoulder and snuggle up with him to drink hot cocoa and watch women's movies.
And waste her life.
No, he didn't want that - even though he did.
And that was why it hurt.
The phone rang, and Will sighed again. He knew it was Jack, and he didn't want to get badgered again. After the beep, music and giggling came through the speaker followed by Jack's voice: "C'mon, Will, I know you're there. Get down here and shake that butt of yours. Even you could get some tonight." More giggling as Jack hushed his latest conquest. "Don't be a wet blanket, girlfriend." The machine fell silent, and Will smiled. He knew that beneath all the flamboyant craziness Jack was a good friend who was worried about him. And he knew it would be a hell of a lot healthier for him to go to the club and do some bumping and grinding with the men there than to sit around thinking about the woman that got away...
Christ, it really wasn't like that.
Was it?
No, he didn't want to be with a woman...he just wanted to be with Grace.
But, of course, Grace was a woman, a straight woman, and he was gay, and there was nowhere for this to go but around and around in a circle that would never get them anywhere.
He had to let go. He had to let Grace have her future. He had to let her be happy.
The phone rang again, and once again he knew who it was. He just knew. How could he not know? He knew her. He knew Grace.
"Will, answer the phone."
He emptied the glass and stood up, but instead of going to the phone he went back to the counter to refill the glass.
"Will, I know you're there. I talked to Jack and Karen. Talk to me."
He stared at the phone. Let go, he told himself. He turned away and went back to the sofa, turned up the volume on the TV, and started flipping channels again.
"Damn it, Will, turn the TV off and talk to me."
Will smiled. She knew him too.
And then he heard the door open. He closed his eyes and leaned back. If he was lucky it was a burglar looking for an empty place to rob on the holiday. But he knew he wasn't that lucky. He should have changed that stupid lock or made her leave her key...
"Hey."
He opened his eyes. The dress was all wrong: too silver, the neckline too round, too long and clingy for Grace's lanky frame. Her hair hung loose and frizzy - wasn't she using that new conditioner he got? He opened his mouth to let out the barb that was on the tip of his tongue - and then closed it.
She was beautiful.
Grace put her cell phone in a small silver purse and sat down beside him. "So, what is this? Boycotting fun?" she asked. "I think you might have even put a damper on Jack's holiday frolics."
"He called before you did. It sounded like the festivities were in full swing."
"He loves you, Will. When he called me..."
"He shouldn't have done that," Will said, standing up. He walked back to the kitchen.
"He's worried about you."
"I'm fine."
"Right, sitting around in the dark on New Year's Eve is fine."
He didn't look at her. "Go home, Grace."
"No," she said. "You may be able to throw Jack out of here, but..."
"Grace, go home," Will said, turning. "Go be with your husband. It's New Year's Eve; you're supposed to be with him."
"You're my best friend, Will..."
"No, I'm not."
He watched her eyes widen in surprise. "What? Are you drunk? Look, I know you get tipsy easily, but..."
"Would your best friend want you to be unhappy?"
"You don't want..."
"I want him gone," Will said with a certainty he wished he didn't feel. "I want Leo out of the picture and you here with me, the same hopeless Grace who needs the great gay Will to come to her rescue." He filled his glass again. "I want things the way they were."
"Will, that..."
"And that isn't the worst of it," he said. "I want things to be the way they can never be." There was a long silence, and Will drank down the champagne. Hell of a happy New Year, he thought. He looked back at her. "Go home, Grace."
"What are you saying?" she asked quietly.
"I'm saying be happy. Spend New Year's with your husband. Have a family. Do everything and be everything you want and need to do and be."
"Because you can't give me that."
"We both know who we are, Grace."
"Do we?" she got up and waddled toward him in the too-tight dress and the too-high shoes. Despite how bad he felt, Will almost laughed. "You can't just decide you aren't my best friend, Will Truman," she said, poking him in the chest. "I don't care what kind of change-of-life-sexual-identity crisis you are having, buddy, but you are not ditching me, got it?"
Will couldn't help it; he smiled. "What is with this dress?" he asked.
"It's a designer dress..."
"That looks like it should be on a Barbie doll."
"Are you saying I'm fat?"
"You can't even walk in this thing, and the shoes are ridiculous."
"Well, at least I'm not wearing a T-shirt and jeans on New Year's Eve."
She was so close to him, and when Will looked in her eyes his heart sank again. "I can't do this, Grace," he said. "I have to let go."
"I can't let you do that."
He moved away from her. "This isn't going to work, anymore. Don't you see that? There's no place for me in your life. There's no place for us. You have a husband; you'll have a family..."
"You are my family, Will. Don't you know that?" The words hit him hard, and he didn't know what to say. "You are my brother, sister, girlfriend, best friend, and my great gay Will. I love you, and there is no way in hell you are letting me go, do you hear that? Do you think this has been easy for me? Do you think I haven't missed you? Damn you, Will..."
"OK," Will said softly. "You don't have to be such a drama queen."
Grace's eyes glistened. "Right, you're the queen around here."
"Damn straight," Will said.
Grace laughed. "Come here," she said, and he walked over to her and drew her into his arms. They held each other for a long time, and Will let out the breath that it seemed like he'd been holding forever. "OK," Grace said. "Go make yourself pretty, and I'll drop you off at Boyz Toyz."
Will smiled. "Happy New Year, Grace."
"Happy New Year, Will." He kissed her cheek gently before heading off to get ready.