AN:  Okay, I know it had been forever since I've updated this, and I apologize.  However, I'm still fighting a lack of inspiration, and I've been trying to figure out how to get this from here to there.  So this might be short and pointless, but…at least I wrote this much.  =)  More coming soon.  I promise. 

By the way, several people told me that this was a lot like the movie "Deep End of the Ocean".  I had actually never heard of the movie or the book, but after looking the movie up, I agree that it sounds a lot like what I had planned for this fic.  Then of course, I ran across the book in a Goodwill store and I bought it since it was only $1 and figured I would probably like it.  But I'm determined not to read it until I finish this up (which might be awhile), so no matter how many likenesses there are to the novel or the movie, they are completely unintentional.  And while I'm disclaiming, a reminder to you all:  I do not own the characters from "FRIENDS". 

One more thing:  I decided to use this chapter to give the title of the story some meaning.  It's from the song "Not A Day Goes By" by Lonestar.  (Great, great song.)  While that song is, of course, about a romantic love, it just seemed to fit as I was writing the beginning of the story.  Therefore, the title.  I included some of the lyrics in this chapter.  Use your imagination to apply them to the situation.  Thanks!

Flashback…

            Monica smiled as she pulled the covers up over Caleb, who had been out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow.  Joey and Phoebe had taken him to the park, where, according to Caleb's account of the events, they had had the best time of Caleb's short life.  By the time Joey had returned him, they had both been so tired they could barely make it through their spaghetti.

            "I love you, sweetie," Monica whispered to her son, kneeling down beside his bed and running her fingers through his hair.  "Daddy and I talked about it today, and we're going to try harder.  It's not fair for you to miss out on growing up just because…"  She paused, unwilling to say the words out loud, even when Caleb was sleeping.  "I'm glad Joey realized how badly you needed some fun."

            Monica stood slowly, her gaze going automatically to the empty bed against the other wall.  It wasn't fair to make Caleb live with ghosts on a daily basis, but she just couldn't bring herself to suggest that they move Connor's things out of the bedroom he had shared with Caleb.  It had been a year – twelve long, agonizing months with no word on their missing child.  Twelve months of crying herself to sleep, and of putting on a mask each morning before she faced the world.  Twelve months of listening to Chandler promise that they would find him, even when she knew that Chandler no longer believed the words himself.  Twelve months of sympathetic looks, of well-meaning questions from near-strangers, asking how she was holding up.

            She wanted to ask them how they thought she was feeling, when she had no idea where her baby was.  She wanted to scream out that she couldn't imagine anything that could possibly be worse in the whole entire world, and she wanted to tell them icily that they had no idea what she was going through.  Instead, she would sigh heavily and give them the "Fine" or "Okay" they expected, laughing ironically to herself when she realized that she was daily performing what Richard had once called the "I'm Okay Head Bob".  With the exception of her family and the friends that were close enough to BE family, no one cared enough to look past the superficial answers.  So she kept giving them, just so they could feel that they had satisfied their duty by asking.

            Monica sat down on the edge of Connor's bed, reaching for the bear that rested against his pillow.  This time was hers alone, her time to close her eyes and remember.  Each time, his face came clearly into her mind, the blue eyes she had looked into and the baby-toothed smile she had received the last time she had seen him.  Tears choked her as she replayed his childish voice telling her that he loved her as she kissed his cheek.  She couldn't bear the thought of him out there – somewhere – all alone.  But that was what she – they – had to live with.  The uncertainty.  She was sure it would one day kill her.

            "Mama loves you, baby," she whispered into the darkness, just as she did every night after Caleb was asleep.  For far, far too many nights.  She squeezed the bear one last time, and silently left the bedroom. 

Got a picture of you I carry in my heart
Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark
Got a memory of you I carry in my soul
I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold
If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind…

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you
After all this time you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

End Flashback…

"Hello?" Ross mumbled wearily into the phone, relieved for the excuse to take a break from his young nephew, whose sole goal for the afternoon seemed to be taking all of his nervous energy out on his uncle. 

"Ross, it's me."

His sister's solemn voice immediately jerked him to attention, and he sat up straight on the couch, every nerve in his body on edge.

"Mon…how'd it go?  Is he okay?"

"I'm…not really sure."  Monica sighed deeply, and Ross's heart sank.  "It was going fine until Connor realized that we were planning to keep him here in New York, and then…well, he wasn't too happy.  We got him settled down a little, but we – we can't bring him home tonight.  He's scared to death, and he won't leave his social worker, and Chandler and I – we can't leave him, Ross.  We just can't."

"No, no of course not," Ross assured her hurriedly, not wanting her to feel like she had to explain herself.  "Where are you?"

"We're staying at a hotel tonight," Monica told him, giving him the name and their room number.  "We got a suite so that Jamie – the social worker – can stay with us too, for Connor's sake.  Her fiancé is one of the detectives on the case."

Ross nodded as he wrote the information down, then addressed the question he knew was coming next.  "We've got the kids, Mon, don't worry about that.  They're fine.  Emily's napping and Caleb is doing his best to zap every ounce of energy Rachel and I have."

"Thanks," Monica breathed with another deep sigh.  "We really apprec-"

"Monica, it's fine.  You and Chandler do what you have to do.  And um, give my nephew a kiss for me, okay?"

"I will," Monica agreed, and in spite of her wavering voice, Ross could picture her smiling on the other end.  "Can I talk to Caleb for a minute?"

"I'll go get him," Ross promised, and Monica heard his muffled call to Caleb telling him she was on the phone.  A second later, she heard running feet, then her son's voice was coming over the line. 

"Mama?"

"Hey sweetie," she answered, trying to make her voice sound upbeat.  "Are you having fun with Uncle Ross and Aunt Rachel?"

"Is Connor with you?" Caleb asked, ignoring her question.  "Are you coming home?"

"Yeah, baby, Connor's with us.  But I don't think we're going to be able to bring him home tonight."

"Why not?"

"Well…Connor's had a rough day, sweetie," Monica responded, deciding to keep the explanation simple.  "And we thought it might be easier for him if we stayed in a hotel tonight instead of at home.  The lady that found him is going to stay with us, too, to help him feel safe."

"Does he remember?" Caleb asked after a long pause, his voice sounding small and lost.  Monica swallowed hard, trying to rid herself of the lump in her throat before she forced herself to answer him.  They had prepared Caleb for this scenario when they told him Connor had been found, and had been surprised by how easily he had accepted the fact.  However, Monica knew it was hard for him to imagine his beloved brother not remembering his family.

"No, Cae.  He doesn't remember."

"Oh."  Caleb paused again, and Monica knew he was trying to hide his disappointment.  "Well, don't worry about me and Emily," he told her bravely.  "We're taking good care of Uncle Ross and Aunt Rachel."

"I'm glad, baby," Monica said with a smile, glancing up as Chandler, Connor, and Jamie walked back into the room with bags of food from the Chinese restaurant next door.  Chandler saw the phone in her hand and gestured to her that he wanted to say hello.  Monica nodded, then turned her attention back to Caleb.  "Sweetie, Daddy wants to talk to you, too.  Tell Uncle Ross and Rachel thank you and give your sister a kiss for me, okay?"

"Okay."

            "I love you, Cae."

            "I love you too, Mama."

            "Okay, here's your dad."  Monica handed the phone to Chandler, and glanced over at Connor, who was gazing at her curiously.

            "Who was that?" he asked, watching her intently.

            "That was…Caleb," Monica answered after a slight hesitation, glancing at Jamie to see if she should elaborate.  Before she could go on, though, the name registered with Connor and he glanced up at Jamie in surprise.

            "The other boy in the picture?" he asked, causing Monica to look at Jamie in equal surprise.

            "Yeah, I think so," Jamie answered slowly, shrugging slightly at Monica before going to her bag to pull out the file with the picture she had shown Connor on the plane.  She passed it to Monica, who smiled briefly at the picture before placing the file on the table beside them. 

            "Is he your little boy?" Connor ventured, looking as if he wasn't quite sure he wanted to hear the answer. 

            "Yes," Monica whispered, entirely unsure as to how that news would affect him.  "He's our son."

            "So if he's your little boy, and I…I'm your…"  Connor trailed off before he could apply same words to himself.  He glanced at the floor, then back up at Monica.  "Then that means he's my brother, right?"

            Monica was aware of Chandler saying goodbye to Caleb, hanging up the phone, and walking over to them, but she kept her eyes focused on Connor.  She finally nodded slowly, moving forward to kneel in front of Connor.

            "Yeah, sweetie.  Caleb is your brother."

            Connor nodded solemnly, then turned away from her.

            "I used to have a brother," he informed them quietly, fiddling with a package of chopsticks lying on the table next to their food.  "His name is Eric."  He was silent for another moment as he studied the table, then he turned back around to face them, his eyes now lined with tears and his voice resigned.  "But I guess he's not my brother anymore."

            The three adults had no response.  Connor looked away from them, then turned his attention to the food, methodically filling his plate while Jamie and his parents watched him in silence.

            Monica sat by Connor's bed, content with just watching him sleep.  She knew she would never take this simple pleasure for granted ever again.  His head was tilted to one side, one arm around his stomach – rising and falling gently with each breath he took – while the other arm rested on the pillow above his head.  The trauma he had been through during the day – all the questions that they still couldn't answer for him – were forgotten, and he was at peace in the world of his dreams.  A world where he wasn't struggling somewhere between the lives of Connor Bing and Dylan Buchanan.  She drank in the tranquility on his face, smiling sadly as she traced the features that had changed so little over the past three years – features that were hers and Chandlers, the same nose and chin that she saw everyday in Caleb and Emily.

            "I missed you, baby boy," she whispered to him as she leaned over to kiss his forehead.  "More than I'll ever be able to tell you.  I wish…I wish I could believe that somewhere deep down, you missed me too."

            Connor stirred slightly in his sleep, sighing gently as he settled down again.  Monica stroked his hair away from his forehead, glancing up at Chandler as she felt his presence beside her.

            "What do we do?" she asked him plaintively, reaching for his hand as he sat down beside her and turned a reverent gaze in Connor's direction. 

            "I don't know," he answered with a sign, leaning over to press a kiss against the side of her head.  "I just don't know."

            "We can't send him back to Colorado, Chandler.  I won't let – "

            "Shhh…" Chandler hushed her, rubbing her back soothingly.  "We're not going to send him back.  He's our son.  He's staying with us."

            "What if he doesn't want to?" Monica asked with a slight sob, leaning her head against his shoulder.

            Chandler remained silent.  He had no answer for that question.  And he wasn't sure if he was ready yet to bring up the suggestion he had been contemplating all evening.

            Maybe they shouldn't make their child be Connor.  Maybe they should let him be Dylan.  And maybe they should bring Eric to New York.

Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days
Seems it's been forever that I've felt this way…

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you
After all this time you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by.