Disclaimer: For those who always start reading fics from chapter 2, I don't own Redwall.

Mali: Yahoo! I got some reviews! I AM OFFICIALLY HAPPY NOW! Chapter 2 is now up! Yay!

And thanks to Neon, Psycho Violinist of Silentwood, Random Crazy Person, Oakpaw Quicksling, Little Kitten, Trisscar Swordmaid and bite-ya-ear for those nice reviews. You guys rule! :D

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Sunflash The Mace's Halloween Sleepover Chapter 2 - Out On The Streets

As was said last time....

The creaked open, creakily.

The guest party gasped and stepped backwards... for there, standing at the door....

Was FREDDY KRUEGER!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed everyone, except for Martin, who was looking at the moonlight.

"Wow. Isn't it gorgeous?" he sighed.

Gonff elbowed him, pointing at the script.

"Huh?.... Oh! Ahem...." Martin paused daintily. "AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"It's The Mr. Hell Show!" supplied Matti, grinning. Everyone gave him a look.

"What?" he snapped.

"Nothing, nothing...." replied Matthias innocently.

"Aren't we forgetting someone?" asked Bryony.

"Who?" asked Gonff, astonished.

Bryony pointed at Freddy. "Him."

"Oh, yeah!" said everyone.

Suddenly, Freddy ripped his face off.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Martin. "IT'S HIDEOUS!"

Sunflash glared at the First Warrior of Redwall. "What did you say?"

"I said.. uh....." Martin cast around in his mind. "Deciduous! Yeah, that tree is deciduous!" he continued, pointing.

"Oh. Okay." said Sunflash, oblivious to the fact that there was a tree growing in the middle of the beach, and the fact that the tree was obviously an evergreen. "So, come on in! Put your coats in the closet! We're gonna go trick-or-treating, and we're gonna watch scary movies, and we're gonna-"

"Cool!" interrupted Matthias.

Veil turned to him. "He's not done yet."

"Shut up, Veil, no one likes you!" shot back Matthias.

Veil held up a scroll with a list of names on it. "On the contrary-"

"Don't be a smart aleck!" interrupted the mouse again.

"Guy-yyyyys!" whined Sunflash.

"Sorry!" said Veil and Matthias.

The party filed into the hall to put their coats in the closet.

"I didn't bring a coat." said Bryony.

"Don't worry about it." Sunflash smiled friendlily, doing The Twist.

Bryony backed away slowly (so she didn't startle him into attacking), as Martin opened the door.

Quite unexpectedly, Abbott Mortimer fell out, screaming, "I HAVE NO REGRETS!". He proceeded to fall on the floor.

Martin flipped his sword around and poked him. "I think he's dead!" he exclaimed.

"I am not!" said Mortimer.

"No, his eyes are open!" protested Matti.

"You can be dead and still have your eyes open, dum-dum." sighed Veil.

"Is anyone listening to me?" asked Mortimer.

"Not in this fic!" retorted Matti.

Suddenly, an earth-shattering Voice sounded in the mountain. "YES, THEY CAN, MATTIMEO. AS PUNISHMENT FOR DEFYING THE AUTHOR, YOU WILL HAVE CAPS LOCK STRICKEN FROM YOUR LINES."

"noooooooo!" screamed matti, stamping his foot.

"YES." answered the Voice.

"noooooooo!"

"YES."

"noooooooo!"

"FINE. TAKE YOUR DAMN CAPS LOCK."

"Yesssss!" cheered Matti, pumping his fist.

Sunflash did a groovy disco move. "Sandgall.... the stereo!"

"I'm not a stereo, sah." reminded Sandgall.

"He means turn the stereo on." Bradders informed him.

"Oh, right! I knew that!" said the hare, walking over to the CD player. He pressed the play button, but it didn't work. "Sah, it seems to be-"

"DOES ANYONE CARE THAT I'M ALIVE?!" yelled Mortimer.

"Hey... I think Morty's alive!" cried Martin.

"Poor Martin. You like to cling to your dreams, don't you?" asked Gonff sympathetically.

".... But-" Martin started to say.

"Hush! It's alright, Martin!" soothed Gonff.

"But-"

"Martin! He's dead! There's no running anymore! Face up to it!" cried Gonff, though comfortingly.

"BUT HE'S WALKING AROUND!" shrieked Martin, hopping up and down and pointing.

Everyone whirled around and stared.

Mortimer waved. "Hi, everyone!"

"No way!" said Matti. "It's an optical illusion!"

"Matti, what have I told you about succumbing to denial?" lectured Matthias.

"Not to?" suggested Matti.

"That's right, son." smiled the proud daddy, patting his son on the head. Matti smiled proudly.

Veil rolled his eyes. "Suck-up..." he muttered jealously, eyeing his father, who ignored him.

"What was that?" asked Matti, in a menacingly bad way.

"Now, son, what have I told you about bullying?" Guess who.

"It's wrong." replied Matti.

"Good boy." said Matthias.

Sunflash was getting really frustrated.

The party was crashing. In a terrible, terrible way.

Which was bad, considering it hadn't even started. And if the party crashed, all hell would break loose.

The mountain would go up in a mass of raging flames, Redwall would be taken over by potato look-alikes allied with the butterflies (because nobody suspects the butterflies), the squirrels would start having uncontrollable urges to do the Hokey Pokey and the mice to do the Nutbush City Limits, not to mention a crazy Kasey Chambers look-alike running in with a bag of paint and painting everything and everyone all the colours of the rainbow.... and more.

He had to stop the party from crashing. Right now.

Sunflash marched over to the CD player, which had somehow fixed itself, and hit the play button.

A delightful song that will be released in the near-distant future starts up. Because Sunflash was a Badger Lord, he got to listen to all the future music. How lucky was that?

"YAY!!!" cheered Rose, grabbing a cowering Martin and beginning to do a disco dance, which outstripped Sunflash's by far. Everyone also began dancing, in a disco-kinda way.

Sunflash sighed in relief. He, allied with some singer, had just saved the world.

He must remember to send her a Thank You card.

And not just an ordinary one from the corner shop. He meant a huge, spectacular, striking, outstanding, stun-

"Don't you dare start that again!" snapped Fordpetal.

Well, sorry, Little Miss I-Hate-Description.....

Bryony walked over to the table that had many sugary and savory types of food laid upon it, counting the M&M's. "Okay, we can all have forty-" She was rudely interrupted by everyone in the room who's name started with 'M' coming over and scarfing them down. "Thanks for letting me finish..." she said sarcastically.

Little did everyone know, Matti had an adverse reaction to M&M's. The doctor said something about the sugar contrasting with his state of mental well-being, but that's not the damn point! The point is that-

"Mr. Narrator, you suck." said Rose, ever so politely.

..... Okay, fine! FINE!

"Here we go." sighed Swartt, jamming earmuffs on.

I COME IN HERE TO READ THIS STUPID STORY, AND ALL YOU CHARACTERS TREAT ME LIKE DIRT! WELL, NO MORE! I'M ON STRIKE!

(Mali: Oh, well. Plan B. Congratulations, Danny. You have a job.)

WHAT?! YOU'RE REPLACING ME?!

(Mali: You didn't think that I wouldn't have back-up, did you? Goodbye, John. It's been fun, but....)

Nooooo! I'm melting..... mel-

As the previous Narrator was saying, the point is that Matti tended to go mad when he had M&M's.

"Look! This Narrator is different!" exclaimed Matthias.

"No, he's not. He's exactly the same!" cried Gonff.

"No, see! His eyes are GREY, not blue!" Matthias said excitedly, pointing.

"Hey, you're right!" shouted Swartt. "Cool!"

Can we get on with the story?

"We?" asked Rose.

"Story?" inquired Veil.

Yes.

"Okay." said everyone.

So anyway, Matthias suddenly remembered about the Matti-And-M&M's Problem.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Matti, running off into the darkest parts of the mountain.

Matthias felt an icy claw of fear grip his heart.

"Sunflash, I don't mean to alarm you, but Matti is going to set fire to your mountain, or destroy it in an equally destructive way." he said calmly.

"Oh, that's kindly." sighed Bradders, rolling his eyes.

Fordpetal shot him a glare. "You're supposed to be getting the Tim-Tams!"

"I know that." sighed Bradders for a second time.

"Well, why aren't you?"

"Dun wanna-aaa-aaa-aa." whinged Bradders, like a childish moth.

"Well, you-" Fordpetal began, before Sandgall interrupted.

"Look, Fordpetal! It's NICK CARTER!" he yelled, pointing outside.

"Holy pie, WHERE?!" she squealed, running out.

Bradders grinned. "Thanks, Sandgall."

Sandgall smiled proudly, then began to do some Spanish dancing.

And it really bad.

If they thought Sunflash's version of The Twist was bad, this was even worse.

In fact, it was so bad, Sunflash forgot about Mattimeo. Which was a fatal mistake.

"Sandgall, please stop that." said Bradders.

"Okay." said Sandgall, stopping and going off into the kitchen.

"..... Can we go trick-or-treating now?" asked Bryony. Everyone made some form of agreement.

"Yeah, okay, let's go." said Sunflash, grabbing his bag.

Everyone filed out the door.

Except for Mattimeo.

The juvenile delinquent rubbed his paws together evilly. "Oh, hehehehe, yes! It's all falling into place now, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-" He coughed weakly. "Ha ha ha.... heh..... hah."

He paused. "Ho."

Meanwhile, with the rest of the group....

"How the hell did we suddenly find our way to Marshank?" Skipperjo asked, tilting his funky hat to the side.

"How the hell do you know about Marshank?" asked Martin.

"Why the hell are the lights on inside Marshank?" Rose questioned.

"Can you please stop saying Marshank?!" snapped Matthias, smacking himself in the head.

"Where'd Cornflower go?" asked Gonff suddenly.

Everyone paused. "Did she come in with us?" Swartt said.

"No." said Matthias, suddenly scared.

Veil screamed hysterically. "THE GREMLINS HAVE COME OUT TO PLAY!"

Everyone rolled their eyes. "There's no such thing as Gremlins."

"There is too!" yelled Veil.

"Of course there is." said Rose sarcastically.

"Hey, shut up, Avril!" snapped Bryony, standing up for her almost-but-not-quite-son.

"Why don't you, Christina?!" retorted Rose angrily.

"CAT FIGHT!" screamed Gonff, getting out the flags and waving them about.

Martin looked confused, and began singing, "Every breath to taaaaaake, every move you maaaaake....."

"SHUT UP MARTIN!" yelled everyone.

"No, but seriously, the lights shouldn't be on." said Rose.

"Let's go investigate!" cried Gonff, withdrawing his safety pin and pointing it forward.

Meanwhile, back at Salamandastron....

Matti chiseled away lovingly. "Ahh, my dear Salamandastron. You will soon be the perfect creation."

Sandgall walked outside. "Oi! What are you-"

SMACK!

He was laid flat by the last two hundred editions of the TV Guide.

"That'll teach ya!" shouted Matti, shaking his fist.

Back at Marshank....

Matthias eased the door open. "I still don't see why I have to go first..." he grumbled.

"Because Martin's too innocent to die...." replied Gonff.

Martin smiled sweetly. "Chocolate is yummy!"

"Stupid Martin and his stupid innocence...." thought Matthias angrily.

There was an awkward silence, save for Martin, who burst into hysterical tears.

"Matthias, everyone heard you think." informed Swartt.

"How in bloody hell did that happen?" shrieked the on-the-brink-of-insanity warrior.

"Well, I think it had something to do with the quotation marks...." replied Skipperjo.

(Mali: It did.)

"Thank you Author." said Gonff, bowing.

(Mali: You're bowing in the wrong direction.)

"Oops!" exclaimed Gonff.

Everyone waited for Mattimeo to say "I did it again."

"Hey... where IS Matti?" asked Matthias, slowly.

Everyone paused to think about this.

"Holy pie!" screamed the once-proud-dad. "He had M&M's.... and we left him ALONE!"

"MY MOUNTAIN!" yelled Sunflash, running off before you could say, "I was chosen by the big, metal hand in the sky."

Back at Salamandastron....

Matti sighed happily. He had finished altering Salamandastron.

Sunflash ran over the hill, and saw his mountain - defiled and ruined. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed.

End Chapter 2

- What did Matti do to Salamandastron?

- What the hell is going on in Marshank?

- Okay, next time we'll find out where Basil Stag-Hare is, I promise!

- Is Veil right about Gremlins?

- Will someone die?

- Are socks useless?

- Exactly how many stars are in the sky?

- Why don't I like Mondays?

The answers to the first six questions in the next chapter....

Of Sunflash The Mace's Halloween Sleepover.....

And I'm not kidding about the Basil Stag-Hare part.

Really.

I'm not.