Disclaimer: I don't own Redwall, and never will.

Mali: Well, it's the second last chapter. (Goes on a stroll along memory lane with sappy music playing, then comes back) Sorry.

Veil: .... You mean it's almost OVER?!

Mali: Yup.

Veil: Thank God!

Mali: Are you really having a bad time?

Veil: ......

Mali: Don't you like sleepovers, Veil?

Veil: Not really. It's more of a girl thing....

Mali: Oh, okay.

Veil: Yeah. I like hanging around at festivals.

Mali: Okay.

Veil: Yeah.

Mali: And hopefully Neon at least will be able to figure out who the three guys are! Jamie couldn't even do that..... ....Anyway, thanks to the reviewers as always. Reviews make me happy when I'm sad.... just like when I WASN'T ALLOWED TO SEE A VERY TRI-

Veil: (Cheesily) Have fun with the story!

***

Sunflash The Mace's Halloween Sleepover Chapter 4 - Ghost Ships and Gremlins

Skipperjo rolled around on the ground, holding his ears. "NO! NOT ATOMIC KITTEN!"

A man who looked like he was a minstrel* ran in with a scroll.

"And you are?" asked Matthias, folding his arms.

"I am the minstrel-looking guy, whose purpose is to live until I am proven wrong." said the minstrel-looking guy in a flat voice.

"Oh, yeah, what's one plus one?" asked Swartt challengingly.

"Two." repiled the minstrel-looking guy.

Bryony checked it on a calculator. "He's right."

"Oooooooooooh!" said everyone, awestruck.

The minstrel-looking guy took out a scroll.

"Ahem, ahem!" he said. "The following villains will not be appearing in this chapter-"

EVERYONE EXCEPT CLUNY, MAD-EYES, SAWNEY AND SLAGAR.

"WHAT?!" screamed the villains.

"You heard." said the minstrel-looking guy. "Now get out!"

The villains trailed out, looking cranky.

"You do realised they just appeared in this fic?" asked Sunflash, rolling his eyes.

"What?" said the minstrel-looking guy.

"Well, by screaming out and trailing away looking cranky, that means they appeared in this fic." said Sunflash.

The minstrel-looking guy stood still, then suddenly, exploded in a puff of pink smoke.

- QUICK ADVERTISEMENT #1 -

"BUY SOME POP-TARTS! BUY THEM NOW!" said A Respected TV Personality.

- END QUICK ADVERTISEMENT #1 -

Back to the story....

"That'll teach that smart-alecky fool!" snapped Gonff, shaking his fist.

"Gonff, he's dead." sighed Matti. "He can't be taught anything."

"..... No, he's not!" protested Gonff.

"Uh, can we sleepover, too?" asked Sawney, shyly.

"Okay." said Sunflash, nodding his head. What a kind badger he was.

"Yay!" yelled the villains, beginning to dance The Ketchup.

"Sunflash, there's twenty-six of them! That's too many!" yelled Martin.

"You can't count, Martin, so shut up!" roared Sunflash.

Martin gasped. "How did you find out!?"

(Roll footage)

"Hey, Swartt," said Martin. "How do you spell 'it'?"

"M-A-R-T-I-N-I-S-A-M-O-R-O-N." replied Swartt, rolling his eyes.

"... It thought 'it' only had FOUR letters." said Martin thoughtfully.

(End footage)

"Did anyone else realize how that suddenly became like one of those episodes of a show where they roll old footage and blah blah blah....." said Basil, being ignored by all, except the crickets.

"Hey, where's my...." Veil paused. "Father."

Everyone looked around.

"He was here a minute ago, I remember...." said Rose.

Where was Swartt?

Was he round the corner?

Up the stairs?

In the kitchen sink?

Searching for his underwear?

Was he dancing, hopping, or singing for joy?

Was he-

"Stop the crappy poetry!" yelled Fordpetal.

"Why do you criticize everyone!?" screamed Bradders.

"Why are you so dumb!?" shouted Fordpetal back.

"Why are you so girly!?" was the reply.

"Will you shut up?!" asked

"Will you?!"

"Why should I?!" shot back Fordpetal.

There was a long pause.

"WILL YOU MARRY ME?!" screamed Bradders at the top of his lungs.

".... Okay." said Fordpetal.

"Awww." said everyone, smiling.

Matthias then remembered his falling-apart marriage. He said, "Excuse me.", and dashed off to the bathroom, in tears.

"Now, what were we doing before Bradders proposed?" asked Bryony.

"Looking for Swartt." repiled Skipperjo.

"Oh, yeah." said Bryony.

Meanwhile, in the living room....

Swartt was asleep on the couch, snoring loudly. It was a wonder that no one heard him.

He began to sleepwalk,

Out the door,

Took more steps than four,

Went further than before.

He walked on, Swartt did,

Like a curious kid,

Except - why isn't anyone stopping me?

Oh, yeah. Fordpetal's arranging the wedding....

Anyway, Swartt sleepwalked- right into the crashing waves of the beach, and promptly drowned.

So that's the end of that chapter.

"What a crappy chapter." remarked Kroova.

Oh, no ya don't! This fic has waaaaaay too many characters as it is!

"So kill some of them off!" yelled Sagax.

No. You can just wait.

"FINE!" yelled the assortment of characters from Triss, jumping on the Ghost Ship, then realizing the true horror of the ship. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BANSHEES!"

The moral of that part of the story, kiddoes, is never, EVER get on a Ghost Ship. There are scary things, to punish the sinners.

Three guys with were standing near the ship. One had freakishly large eyes, the other had curly hair that's nicer than my cousin Jamie's (but Jamie doesn't think so), and the other had glasses and a guitar.

"Well, this ship certainly did not have anything to do with a musical about a pirate." said the guy with nice curly hair, in a nudge-nudge-wink-wink kinda way.

"No, it did not. Especially our musical about a pirate." said the guy with glasses and a guitar in the same way.

"You are both correct." said the guy with freakishly large eyes.

- QUICK ADVERTISEMENT #2 -

"My music is intelligent! Buy one of my albums!" said Sting.

- END QUICK ADVERTISEMENT #2 -

Back to the story.....

Suddenly, a lawyer ran out!

"YOU HAVE JUST BREACHED THE COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT POLICY AND-"

"'Scuse me, but I didn't say their names." sighed the Author, tapping her foot after appearing out of nowhere.

"Yeah, well, you still advertised them." said the Lawyer.

"How the hell can I advertise them if I didn't say their names?" sighed Mali again.

"Yeah, but I think everyone can guess who you mean." the Lawyer frowned.

"No one cares what you think." snapped Mali. "Now, away with you!"

"Fine...." sobbed the Lawyer. "NO ONE LIKES ME!"

"Damn right, and that's the way it should be." said Mali, vanishing.

Triss walked up the beach. "I TOLD THEM TO STAY AWAY FROM THAT SHIP!" she yelled angrily. "I MADE THEM LISTEN TO THE SONG!"

Oh, well.

"Shut up Mr. Narrator!" snapped Triss. "Now they're gonna be ripped apart by-"

Stop it, the rating's PG! You can't talk about horrific stuff!

"Sorry." said Triss, grinning sheepishly.

Kurda looked angry. "How come the squirrel gets to be in the story, but I don't?! I need publicity!"

Because the Author thinks you're good.

Kurda looked confused. "Wha?"

"Actually-" said Bryony, sticking her head out the door.

Shut up! I meant to say the Author prefers Triss to you.

"How the hell did you manage to get that confused with-" began Kurda.

Why the hell are you talking without an accent?

"Er..... what's that behind you!?" screamed Kurda, running away.

.... She still didn't talk with an accent.

"Get over it." sighed Triss, making her way up to the mountain.

Meanwhile, the villains were currently floating around somewhere.

But we'll get back to them when someone dances the can-can.

Right now, it's time to settle this Gremlin thing.

Once and for all.

Yep.

We're gonna settle it.

Right now.

Or in a few seconds.

Or right now.

But in the time it took for me to-

Ah, screw it.

Veil crept outside with a stake and hammer. "Oh, Gremlin.... little Gremlin..... come out, come out wherever you are, hehehehe!" he giggled psychotically.

There was silence.

"No, come on, I meant it!" cried Veil seriously.

The Gremlin stuck his head out of the hole in the san that Mortimer climbed out of in chapter 3. "What do you want?" it said in a shrill, grating voice.

"Is it alright if I kill you?" asked Veil.

"Uh, let me think..." said the Gremlin sarcastically. "No."

"Aw, please?" whined Veil.

"No!" exclaimed the Gremlin.

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"That's it!" snapped the Gremlin. "You asked for it."

Ten thousand Gremlins sprang up from the ground, looking very much a like a certain army in a certain second movie of a certain story about a certain hobbit taking a certain ring to a certain volcano to destroy it in a certain way certainly.

Suddenly, some freaky stuff that would never, ever happen in reality happened, and Veil survived it.

So did the Original Gremlin.

"We must do battle, Veil Sixclaw!" yelled the Gremlin.

"Yes, Gremlin!" exclaimed Veil.

"I have a name, ya know...." sighed the Gremlin.

"What is it?" asked Veil.

"Terry."

"Alright, Terry, prepare to die!" Veil cried.

"No, Veil Sixclaw, you will die!"

The Gremlin raised his arms, then began to do the Macarena!

Veil flinched. "You are mighty, but I am mightier! I have a more repetitive dance!" he yelled, beginning to do the Bustop (My God, I hate that dance.).

The Gremlin gasped, obviously in pain. "No.... I must use.... my last resort..." and he began to do the dance routine from Oops! I Did It Again.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Veil. "NO! THE ULTIMATE EVIL!"

He died from the horror.

Well, sorta. He was floating around in a void of white, when, suddenly, Anne Shirley appeared.

"......" said Veil, confused.

"Veil...." said Anne in a echoing voice. "Think. You know the ultimate weapon.... you must use it to defeat the evil....."

"But..... I don't think..... I have the strength to do it, Anne...." whispered Veil, shamed.

"Veil.... you must save the world..... do what you have to do....."

Anne and the white void vanished as Veil's eyes opened.

The Gremlin gasped. "No! It.... it can't be!"

For Veil was now shining with the Light. He began to do the dance routine from Dirrty.

"No..... not.... that..... crappy.... dance...... overload....." wheezed the Gremlin, turning a strange shade of green.

He then exploded.

Veil cheered, and began doing the can-can.

"Uh, ferret-guy!?" came Cluny's voice from above.

Veil whirled around. "Are you angels?" he asked, when he saw the villains floating.

"Yes." sighed Sawney, frustrated.

"REALLY!?" yelled Veil.

"No, you idiot, we're not! We just kinda started floating."

"Oh. That's weird." said Veil thoughtfully.

"Duh." said Mad-Eyes.

"Fine. I won't help you." snapped Veil, walking off.

"SHUT UP, MAD-EYES!" yelled Slagar, punching him.

This wasn't a very good move, as it sent him all the way to New Zealand.

So that's the end of that chapter.

"What a-" began Cluny.

We've been through this. The next one who says the word crap or crappy or crappiness or anything that insults the chapter will regret it.

"This chapter sucks!" snapped Basil. "I'm not in-"

That's it, Basil! You're going to The Corner!

"For the love of God, no, not The-"

Basil was suddenly disappeared in a puff of orange smoke.

The villains stared in horror.

"They went through with it!" cried Cluny, sobbing. He was the only one who really cared.

"I don't believe it." said Sawney unenthusiastically.

"Oh, please, God, no." said Slagar, filing his nails.

- QUICK ADVERTISEMENT #3 -

"Hi! Buy our single!" said the Comedy Brig-aid.

"If you can find it...." grumbled a fan.

- END QUICK ADVERTISEMENT #3 -

Back to the story......

Meanwhile, back in the mountain....

Veil skipped in happily. "I killed the Gremlin, I killed the Gremlin...." he chanted.

He skipped past Bryony, Matthias, Matti, Martin, Gonff and Rose. "Hey! I killed the Gremlin!"

"Fascinating." said Matti.

"Wow." said Gonff.

"Fantastic." said Rose.

"Huh?" said Martin, who was again looking at the moonlight. Except now it was shining through the window.

"Really." said Matthias.

"Cool." said Bryony.

Veil was really happy with himself.

He finally killed the Gremlin.

Or did he?

End Chapter 4

*Played by Orlando Bloom

- Did Veil really kill the Gremlin?

- Again, how many more people are going to be advertised?

- Will the villains stop floating?

- What is so horrifying about The Corner?

- Will Cornflower get her revenge?

- Will those three guys make another appearance (Probably not)?

- Will the Ghost Ship take more 'sinners' away?

All this, and more....

In the final chapter....

Of Sunflash the Mace's Halloween Sleepover.....