Chapter Two
//One month ago//
Ken stares out among the rubble. It's still smoking in places, even after a few days. You might say he's returned to the scene of the crime. He kneels down and takes a hand full of sand. He watches it fly away into the breeze. Just like Wormmon. Ken grits his teeth. It hurts to think about Wormmon. He begins to walk closer to the base. He doesn't know what for. Maybe he can destroy a part of the base, and so destroy a part of himself.
It's hot inside, and very dark. There's a musky, rotting smell. It's eerie; Ken doesn't like it. Even in the mess, he can find his way to the control room. As he enters, a chill hits him. This was his home away from home for ages, and it holds bad memories. Ken shivers. This place drove him to the brink of insanity and he decides coming back hasn't helped. A few of the screens have fallen, smashed into glass on the stony floor and the rest have cracked. Ken reaches out, and a control panel still appears in front of his hand, but it flickers, then dies. He looks towards the chair. He wants to smash it up, but he can't. One of the arms is hanging off the side limply. He can almost see his old self sitting in it.
"You can see me Ken."
Ken stumbles back, hitting the wall, invisible now in the darkness. He stares at the chair, but the figure doesn't move.
"I've been following you Ken. I drew you here."
The voice changes place, now it comes from the ceiling. Ken glances at the ceiling; nothing. His gaze comes back down, and the figure is standing bare inches from him. It's him. It's the Kaiser. He tries to yell, but a gloved hand clamps down on his mouth to stop him. The Kaiser puts a hand to his lips and says "Shh, Ken. Not yet."
Ken begins to sweat. The Kaiser bites his other glove, pulling it off his hand. He drops it from his mouth to the floor, then runs the back of his hand down Ken's cheek. Ken tries to back away, but there's no where to go. The Kaiser's hand is like ice.
"Feel that Ken? You'd better get used to it. As long as I'm here, that cold will be in you, it will freeze you. And by the time I'm gone…Well, you'll be in no fit state to worry then."
He pulls his hand away and leans it on the wall behind Ken's head. Ken gasps for air. He brings his head up, staring into the empty blue eyes of the Kaiser.
The Kaiser takes his ungloved hand and places it under Ken's chin, smiling wickedly. "Don't scream."
He forces Ken's head towards him and kisses him roughly, pushing his whole body against Ken, so he can't go anywhere. Ken tries to scream as he feels an intense pain fill him, so much so that he almost collapses. Ken feels himself glowing, although his eyes are scrunched with the pain. Suddenly, the pain and the light are gone, and his eyes flick open. There is no one there.
Ken feels heavy and tired. He rubs his eyes and looks back around the room. The chair has been tipped over, one of its wheels still spinning. He decides he imagined it all, and runs quickly out of the base, never wanting to come back.
*
At home, Ken's parents are still very worried. Their son has been in a daze for days, after he came back. He hasn't told them anything about the months he was away, and worst of all, he barely seems to notice them. He's been off school for a while, sitting in his room, staring. It scares them a little. Ken was never the closest of children, but now they seem to have lost him all together.
When Ken arrives home, his mother is crying and his father is trying to comfort her. He vaguely registers the tears, but he doesn't know who these people are, so it doesn't matter. All he knows is that they live in his house and they feed him and talk to him, but the things they say don't make much sense. They talk about Osamu. How do they know about Osamu? Ken thinks. He decides they must be looking after until he re-adjusts to the real world.
Ken dismisses dinner, which causes his mother to cry again. He hasn't been eating much lately. He goes to his room and lies on the bed. He tries to go to sleep, but something at the back of his mind is nagging him.
Ken suddenly has a strange idea. He switches on his computer and opens a blank page. His fingers hover over they keyboard, then he types:
Who are you?
A pause. The cursor flickers, waiting for him to type more. So he does.
What are you? Where do you come from?
Another pause. This time, a reply comes.
I am Chaos. I am the beginning and end of anarchy. I am not human, I am not animal, I am not mineral. I come from another place.
Ken's hands begin to tremble. He is scared because he doesn't know who is replying. He starts to write again.
Can you explain what you mean?
I can put it in more words, but I cannot 'explain' as such. No one can 'explain' what is not known.
He waits, but no more is written. Ken thinks at first, this could be the Kaiser, but the Kaiser doesn't talk like this. He decides to try and get some answers out of this creature.
Who am I?
Perhaps a better thing would be to say 'What am I?'
What am I?
Again, I cannot explain that in detail, but I know this. You are the light and the darkness. You are good and evil. You are life and death. You are that which creates and that which has the power to destroy. You are god and the devil.
This confuses Ken. But an idea comes to him, and after trying to analyze what he has just been told, his fingers begin to work again.
If I ask, will you answer?
As best I can.
What or who is he? Is he a friend or an enemy? Is he death, or am I?
He is you. He is only what you are. If you are death, he is death.
Is he dead?
Are you dead?
No.
Then neither is he.
May I ask some personal questions?
You may ask what you wish. I may not be able to answer, but you may ask as you please.
Are you alone?
I have my daughter.
That's an indirect answer.
It is. I shall say then, 'My daughter keeps me company, but I am alone. She is alone. We are all alone.'
Is he with you?
You are not with me. He is not with me.
Who is 'he'?
He is you.
Ken needed this information badly. He tried to rephrase his question.
If he is me, then why don't you address me directly?
He is you. He is not you. You are one, yet you are alone. The way things work are confusing, but perhaps all will become clear in time.
How can he be and not be me?
As before, that is one thing that I cannot explain. You must learn to accept, and not always to question.
Is curiosity a bad thing?
You would be best suited asking you friend Koushiro about that.
Ken froze. If this thing knew about his friends, what was it? He still needed more answers. He didn't know how much time he would get talking to this thing.
Can you see me?
Yes.
Can you see me now?
No.
Why?
He is not with you. He is trying to reach you, but you are trying to block him. So you are at a stalemate. He will get to you eventually, I will see to that.
Ken wrote his next question very carefully.
…Are you god?
If one wants to be god, one can be. You are god. You are the devil.
How can one become god by simply wanting to be?
Not simply wanting. The being must act upon their wish. You had control over life and death. You created a living beast. Therefore, you are god.
Is there more than one god?
If there chooses to be.
Ken read this sentence several times. Somehow, it didn't seem quite right.
Are you implying that 'there' is a living form?
Even fate can be ruled by Chaos. If I want to change fate, I will. If fate can be altered, then surely it must be 'living' in a sense? If I can bend it to my will, then is it not a being that can be manipulated?
I see your theory, but fate does not breathe, it does not grow or move.
The earth does not breathe, but the earth is living. And you are wrong. If fate changes, it grows. If a person meets some one by chance, this is fate. If they purposely meet them again, this is not chance. Fate has been changed, and it learns and grows off this new knowledge. But…Are you sure you should be asking me these things?
Are you leaving?
Yes. I will go now. But you may speak to me any time. Not just on here. When he reaches you, simply ask him. He will contact me.
How will I speak to you?
When the time comes…
Wait! Who is he? Is he the Kaiser?
But it's gone. Ken stares at the screen for a while, but, as he thought, nothing more comes up. He reads their conversation a few times, saves it, then lies on his bed. He glances at his clock. 9:48. He decides to try and get some sleep, then tomorrow, he'll try and talk to that mysterious person again. Slowly, he drifts into a restless slumber.
*
Ken has a very strange dream that night. He is standing alone in a dark room, where he can hear wood being chopped in the background. There is a sheet of glass in front of him, and instead of his own reflection, he can see the Kaisers. He places his hand upon the sheet; the Kaiser does the same. He puts his ear to the glass and listens hard. At first, he can only hear his own heart beat, then another joins it.
He begins to push against the glass, trying to get more space on his part of the room, but the Kaiser is pushing back, and he can't. The Kaiser is stronger than him, and his space gets smaller and smaller. He is nearing the wall. He is going to be crushed. But at the last second, he gives an extra bout of strength, and pushes the divide back from him. He steps back. His space is smaller than it was. In fact, it's tiny. The Kaiser smirks at him annoyingly, the reaches out his hand and it slips straight through the glass! Ken gasps as the Kaiser moves his whole body through the panel and into Ken's side. Ken feels himself grow weaker and begins to fall to the floor. The Kaiser is laughing. Laughing at him.
*
Ken awakes with a start. He is breathing hard and his pillow is damp from sweat. He looks at his clock. 5:36. He decides not to go back to sleep and goes over to the computer to switch it on. His arm feels strangely heavy. He pulls a chair over and begins to type like he did last night.
Hello.
Good morning Ken.
Were you asleep?
You did not interrupt me in anything, if that's what you mean. I was merely resting. I am always free to talk to you…Hmm, I see.
What? What do you see?
He has reached you then.
What do you mean?
I mean what I say. I cannot put it any other way.
So…what was once two is…now one?
You were never 'two', but now you are not 'one', so no, you are wrong. A spirit is not counted as one alone, but two spirits in one body is not two.
Whose spirit has joined mine?
Your other half.
You said I can reach you through him. Is he with me?
He is everywhere he wants to be. He is with you now.
Can I see him?
Yes, he is standing behind you.
Ken does not turn around. Instead he begins to breathe heavily. He knows what he will see if he turns around.
Should I look?
You will be forced to eventually. You cannot escape him.
Ken shuts his eyes and takes a few more breaths. He swivels his chair around but does not open his eyes.
"Ken-chaaaan, what are you doing?"
His opens his eyes. He had been right. It is like he is looking into a mirror at his old self. This Kaiser is not the tense, sleep deprived maniac he had become, but the arrogant child he had began as. What is this? Is it another chance to correct his mistakes? He doesn't think so.
You will learn what he is for soon enough.
"Who are you talking to, Ken-chan?" The Kaiser looked over Ken's shoulder then yelped and ran to hide in the corner of the bed. Ken, who was remaining surprisingly calm about all of this, asked:
What's wrong with him?
Ignore him for now. You need to ask more questions.
Why?
I am trying to find out all about you, as you are me. Simply observing you is not enough.
Am I some kind of experiment?
No, no. You are the key to my success. This is no mere play time.
The key to what? What are you trying to do?
Rephrase that question.
…What is your purpose?
No one knows the meaning of life. I cannot truly know what I am here for.
What are you doing with your life?
I have taken the life of another into my own hands. In a way, I am trying to reenact someone else's life, with one difference. She failed. I will not.
What did she fail at?
Her duty.
What was her duty?
The thing she wished for most in the world, the thing she needed to become her own god.
Ah, you seem to like talking about gods.
…Yes, I suppose I do. But that is irrelevant. Ken, there are some very important things I must say before I go.
The words come thick and fast now and Ken struggles to read as she types.
Firstly, do not try to ignore him. He will not go away. He will get stronger as you rebuild your life. Second, try and get all your affairs in order. You will be going somewhere soon. Thirdly, finally and most importantly, you MUST realize your feelings. When the time comes, I want to give you at least a fighting chance, but in order to do this, you have to look into your heart. Do not shy from what you find, even if at first you don't like it. But even finding them is not enough. Express them Ken, pour your heart out to the world.
I don't know why I am telling you this. Perhaps the black in my heart has not quite consumed me yet. Remember those things Ken, remember them well. In the mean time, do not try and talk to me again. I will contact you soon.
The writing stops. Ken re-reads the last message several times, saves their conversation and closes the computer down. He looks over at the Kaiser, who is still shied away from the computer. He closes his eyes and a strange, unpleasant thought comes to his mind. It does not scare him, and this itself is strange, but it makes him feel uncomfortable. He sighs deeply.
'I'm going to die soon…'
…To Be Continued…
A/N – I've split this chapter into 2 parts, because I wanted to post something up and otherwise it would be too long and take too much time to write.