It's Not Easy Being Perfect.
Author's note: This is a kind of depressing fic, but it get's better in the end. Really, it does :) I guess you could call it a little bit of fluff mixed in there. Also, this does involve homosexual feelings between two teenage boys, so if you're offended, go somewhere else and read. (Harry/Draco pairing, Ron/Hermione, Hermione/Harry)
Copywrite: All of the characters are copywrite J.K Rowling and Warner Bros. I am not using this to gain money, or whatever, I am doing this for the entertainment of myself, and of course the readers :)
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Draco looked in the mirror, worry spreading across his face at his thighs and stomach. He could tell that if he didn't lose some pounds, he would get fat and ugly like Crabbe and Goyle- mind you, no one would want to be that ugly, but especially not him! It wasn't that he was obese, or anything, he was perfectly normal for a boy his height. His mind was in a silent fight between his fathers words of perfection, and his own gut feeling of telling him he was perfectly fine. 'It's probably just puberty.' He would tell himself, but then his fathers words would come rolling back into his head like an obsession.
"Draco, you must be the best for Voldomort when it comes your time to be marked. Be at your VERY best..."
It wasn't really his father, Lucius's words, it was more the way he said it, and the way his fathers pierced his own son's eye in understanding.
Draco had never really even seen Voldomort, but of course had heard of him and his great accomplishments. He was going to meet him when this Hogwarts year had ended, and he would leave to Malfoy Manor.
Draco's pov.
Being 119 Ibs. 5'4 with a small frame, I wonder how this could ever have happened. Maybe I had gained a few pounds since I had last looked at the scale. I sighed, bringing myself to walk back to my bed and put my school robe back on, that had just before layered the green and silver satin sheets on the bed. {Oh well, might as well go to class, now. If I eat breakfast, I'll probably begin pigging out like Goyle...} I cringed at the thought of me stuffing myself full of delicious sweets and chocolates. No...that can't happen. It won't.
Walking down the dark corridors that lead to the dormitories, I reached the Slytherin common room, stopped, and sighed to think. {I'll never be like my father want's me to be} My pessimistic side shouted out at me. Shaking my head, I attempted at washing the bad thought away as soon as I could. I walked out into the dark halls of Hogwarts and headed for Transfiguration. Unfortunatly on the way, I meet up with Harry Potter. The slimy little mud- blood loving Gryffindor, always so loyal to his friends. Alwats worshiped by everyone around him.
{You're jealous.} A tiny voice whispered mischeviously in the depths of my mind. I walked past the oblivious Potter, feeling Ron's scowl on my back. I didn't want to fight with them right now. Without Crabbe and Goyle, I wouldn't take my bloody chances. Potter had sent so many curses and hexes my way to brand even Voldomort weak. Which, of course, he wasn't. {See! Even Potter is better than you!} The tiny voice squeaked inside my head. 'Damn concience!' Scowling, I walked into Transfiguration, and went through it as normal, snickering at when others made mistakes, or laughing at the stupid idiots' faces just for the fun of it.
Everything goes okay, until I have to face Harry Potter and his no-good friends in potions (in which we're ironicly always together in, every year.)
"Hey, Malfoy, watch where you're going!" I heard the Weasel scream after me, as I bumped into him, and went ahead a few feet. Deciding to stand up for myself, I turned around at his voice. His round face, which was only a few shades lighter than his hair, was the first thing I saw.
"No, I won't watch where I'm going, thank-you-very-much. I have things to acually DO, instead of hang around with you stupid Gryffindors...['a slight pause of thought here']... I'm- in a hurry." In truth, it was really hard for me to come up with a comeback, and whenever I do, it's NEVER nice, no matter which person I am talking to (with the exception of my father and Voldomort of course, even though I haven't acually MET Voldomort yet.) It just kind of- comes out.
After a while, lunch rolled around, and of course, I was starving. Had to eat something. As I walked into the Great Hall, I smelled the delicious smell of, of course, food. Scuffling over to the table oppisite of the Gryffindors, I sat down at my normal spot in Slytherin, and watched as Goyle and Crabbe stuffed themselves full of food, along with other people (who were eating and talking at the same time, acually, which was kind of gross in my opinion). Taking a roll out of one of the bread baskets, I started eating it, and looked at it after I had taken a small, sampling bite. For some reason, I wasn't hungry anymore. I felt my brow furrow, as I looked down into my lap, thoughts running wild in my head. No, this isn't how I could lose weight. I won't subject myself to harmful labour and excersice as though my life depends on it. No matter what.
I was still hungry, although my appitite was spoiled. I just couldn't bring it to my mouth. There was something vile about it. It wasn't poisoned, or anything, it was just...I couldn't bring myself to consume it.
Harry's pov.
Hermione was talking about the Herbology homework that we had to do during the weekend, and I kind of zoned out. It wasn't that I didn't like Hermione's company, it was that...she could get annoying. Very, VERY annoying.
Dumbledore said I should watch my back this year. I don't really know why. We had a talk yesterday about some ghost-like spies being in the school. Unfortunatly, he didn't know who they were. He had only been informed when the ministry of magic had reported it just as a warning for all of the students, as well as the staff.
"Harry, are you listening to me?" Hermione cut into my thoughts like butter, and I was flicked back to attention, nodding my head like a lying idiot, my eyes fakely yearning for more book knowledge. I heard her sigh, and continue talking. "Honstly Harry, you've always been like this. Even though you are a hero, and Dumbledore told you to watch your back doesn't mean you should slack off on your classes!" She scolded. {I'll just feel sorry for her future children} Harry thought with pity. For some odd reason, though, I kind of liked her. More than a friend. Cho had kind of faded out of my thoughts after the rumour in fourth year of her having sex with one of the other ravenclaws. I don't know why I was attracted to her, really. When it came right down to it, she was as much of a git as Malfoy was.
After a while, my classes were done for the day, and I went back to my dormitories. Lying on my bed, I sighed, taking in the sweet autumn air from Ron opening the windows before I even got here. I closed my eyes, and opened them back up. {It would be a very nice day for me to have some fresh air and watch a sunset.} I thought. Looking out the window confirmed that it was a nice afternoon outside, so I stood up, heading out the door.
Draco's pov.
I needed some time to think tonight. Something to distract me from my problems. Goyle was the latest. He kept asking me if I had smuggled any food into the dormitories, and annoyingly I responded, "NO, Goyle, I HAVEN'T!" He wandered off to roam around the school for some odd reason or another, leaving me alone with Crabbe. "Um...I'll just...go then." He said, after a long silence.
Glad that the two loafs were off, I walked off into the direction of my door, broom in hand after acheiving it from the polished chest in the corner of the dorm.
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The lake was very peaceful, unlike peoples' lives, unfortunatly. Why couldn't we be more like this lake? The wind chilled my face, and made a shrill shiver go up my spine. I crossed my arms to keep a little warmer from the early warnings of winter to come, and shivered a little more slightly, and shut my eyes to block out the vision of everything.
Narator's viewpoint
Draco slowly opened his eyes back up, only to see Harry not far away, also staring at the lake deep in thought. {I wonder what Potter's thinking about right now- or who.} Draco sneered. He hated the bloody seeker, The-Boy-Who- Lived, The one who had defeated the Dark Lord, not once, not twice, but about four times. It was pathetic that Harry could acually do it when he was just a damn teenage boy!
His skin from his palms were going to seep with blood in a while, but before that could happen, Draco stopped his fingernails from digging into his flesh when he saw Granger starting to approach Harry. Damn that mudblood. They always spoiled his good moments, even ones that he thought they couldn't even reach him from. Instead of taking his rage out on his palms, he grabbed the grass and rapidly ripped out blade by blade, staring at each one like it were his worst enemy.
Harry had also noticed Draco not far away, but really didn't feel like putting up with his little weak insults. "Harry, how are you? You are ok, aren't you?" Hermione asked, concerned.
Harry looked down into the lake, and nodded. "Ya, Hermione, I'm ok. Just a little worried, that's all." He responded, still staring deeply in thought.
Hermione sighed, and looked at Harry. "Harry, did you ever know Ron had a crush on me?" She asked. Harry, broken from thought, looked at her, suddenly offended that his best friend- Ron Weasley, wouldn't have told him that secret. "No. Does he?" Harry asked surprised, gasping lightly at the confession. She nodded, a faint smile spreading across her lips. She was starting to flush a little at the thought of Ron liking her, her smile plastered to her lips. {What if Harry likes me?} She asked herself worringly, looking at Harry's expression. "Harry, if you like me, just know that I will always be here. I will always be your friend." She responded rather quickly.
Harry looked down and sighed. "No, Hermione, I don't have that much of a crush on you. I like you as a friend, of course. I'm just ...kind of bugged that Ron never told me that he liked you."
"Harry, Ron has his own feelings and secrets, you know. You should respect that." Hermione said, matter-of-factly.
"Ya...you're right." Harry gave in, and laid on the soft, cold grass. The clouds were odd today, starting to get gray, and clouds were coming from the east.
Ignoring them, Harry sat back up and looked back at Hermione as she spoke. "Well, Harry, I better be going. It's almost nightfall, and I have to get the last of my Herbology homework done." She said, with a sigh. Harry watched, as she walked away slowly from the lake towards Hogwarts.
It was nightfall at 8:30 PM, and Harry was still out there. As well as Draco. They really had nothing else to do. Off in the distance, both Draco and Harry turned their heads to the east as they heard a swirling sound...a loud....loud...banging, swirling sound. Wind. A tornado. Getting up, Harry nervously started walking away from the lake. Hagrids' house was closer than Hogwarts, so he started heading that way.
Draco didn't really know where to go. So, of course, he followed Harry. {Damn him....stupid Harry Potter. I hate him!} He recited as he followed Harry to Hagrid's hut. As Harry got into the hut, the door was slammed and locked. Draco was left outside, staring at the door when he caught up. {Damn that Potter!} He recited once more. If he had to swear to something, he would swear that Harry did that in spite.
"Hey, let me in!" Draco demanded, knocking on the door viciously. After about 3 minutes, Hagrid opened the door, and sighed. "Com'on en Mist-er Malfoy." Hagrid opened the door, and Draco walked in to see Harry snug in a maroon-red chair, reading a book. Draco rolled his eyes, and sat down on the couch a few feet away from where the chair was placed. Hagrid found Malfoy VERY rude. He didn't thank anyone, didn't listen to rules, and was a bloody coward in his eyes. Hagrid unconciencly sighed, and shook his head, as he stirred the mysterious goup in the pot.
Harry's pov.
I tried not to let it get to me. The fact that stupid Malfoy was let in by Hagrid out of pure pity. He was annoying and selfish, and didn't care for anyone other than himself.
"Potter, can I ask you something?" Draco asked, looking at me waiting for my approval. My mouth was thinned into a line, and I wondered what he would acually ask me that wasn't rude or stupid.
Draco just asked, without my approval. Maybe he thought that if I didn't reply, that was approval. Oh well.
"Harry, how much do you weigh?" He asked, a question that had surprised me. I had never, ever expected that to come out of Malfoy's mouth. Maybe Hermione, based on she would probably go off about it being healthy or whatever response. And....oddly....very VERY oddly...he had said my first name. Nevertheless, I decided to answer his strange question anyway.
"123 Ibs. Why?" I asked, kind of confused.
"Just wondering Potter. No need to get defensive."
I looked at him for a few seconds trying to search the truth in his gray, emotionless eyes, but to no avail. Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to my book.
'Don't ever walk away from me again, Shane. It isn't fair that I have to live without you. Please, don't-'
"Potter, is it really safe in here?" Draco asked, again turning my attention away from my book. He was starting to get annoying. This was a really important part in the book!
"Yes, Malfoy, it's safe." Harry responded exasperantly.
From the corner of Harry's eye, he saw Draco looking around fearfully. {Damnit, Malfoy, stop distracting me!} Harry accused silently.
'I love you Shane. Please, stay here, with me, and our children. I never-'
"Potter, why are-" Draco started.
"Damnit, Malfoy, shut up! I'm trying to read this, if you haven't noticed!" Harry yelled with annoyance.
"Fine, Potter, Be that way. I was just going to ask you why you're so perfect, but I guess you really don't want to talk to me, then." Draco finished. He really wanted to know why. Why he was worshiped, liked, LOVED, and aside from general contridiction, had a very nice body. [Whoa....Did I just....think that!?] Draco asked himself with a hidden panic, and then quickly shaming himself for it.
Harry was stunned. "Malfoy, is there something wrong with you?!" Harry's eyes widened. Why was he even talking to Draco anyway?
"No, not really Potter, unless you're talking about my twisted sense of humour. Other than that, I'm fine. Just answer my question." Draco asked seriously, narrowing his eyes ever so slightly.
Harry didn't know what to say. Perfect? He wasn't perfect at all! He was ugly, stupid when it came right down to it, and he didn't have as many true friends as he would like. And the attention he got from the press was horrific, annoying, and fearful.
"I'm not perfect." He said as a fact. Draco then had an impressed expression plastered on his face.
"Nice of you to think so lowly of yourself, Potter, but stop denying it. It's childish." Draco said, smirking.
"Malfoy, if it was up to me, I would start thinking that you THOUGHT I was perfect!" Harry stated. Draco looked up from thought and sighed. He decided not to answer.
"Draco..." Harry asked again, cussing slightly, noticing he had accidently let his worst enemys' name slip out. Getting back to normal thought, he then started to wonder if Draco was going to respond to him or not. Just then, Harry noticed the absence of Hagrid, and remembered Hagrid half telling him he was going to Hogwarts to keep the students there safe, if needed, and that Harry and Draco would be safe in his hut. Relieved, Harry sighed, and relaxed.
Looking over at Draco, I saw him holding his stomach, gulping once and staring at the fire.
"Belly ache?" I asked him, kind of feeling sorry for him. Ya, he WAS a slimy git, but he was still just a fraction human.
Draco looked at me, and didn't nod or shake his head just stared. He then looked down to the floor, and back up into the fire. "No. I'm kind of hungry though."
"Didn't you eat?" I asked, just a bit of concern in my voice.
"Why do you care, Potter?" Draco asked coldly. I defensivly backed off, allowing Draco his thinking room.
A long silence had resulted, and unfortunatly it wasn't a peaceful kind of silence. It was tense. Like both of us were afraid to really talk to each other, afraid of the result.
"You could eat the stuff Hagrid is cooking-" without getting to finish, I was interrupted.
"I am not putting any part of that- stuff- inside me!" Draco responded, looking resolutly disgusted at the suggestion.
"You said you were hungry." Harry stated.
"Yes, but not that hungry." Draco shot back.
"When was the last time you ate, anyway?" Harry asked, just out of curiosity.
"Why are you concerned, Potter?"
"Because I'm curious, not concerned." I denied. I was slightly concerned. Not alot, though.
Narrator pov.
"The last time I ate was at lunch. A bite of role. Lost my appetite. The acual time I really ate was yesterday at dinner." Draco responded truthfully. Didn't matter anyways, it didn't mean Harry would care. He was probably glad that Draco was atleast making an attempt to make himself suffer over some odd reason or another.
Draco looked back over to Harry, and Harry was looking at him, unblinking. "What?" Draco asked, wondering what Harry was staring at. Harry shook his head to stop staring and asked, "Draco, if you were hungry, why haven't you ate?" Harry asked. Ha! Stupid boy. He didn't even know my true motive, so he should stay out of my buisness.
"Why does it matter?" Draco asked, looking at Harry again, expecting an answer. Harry sighed, and just layed back. {He was ...probably not hungry before or something.} Harry excused. Maybe that was it. It's not like he had to care, anyways.
"When's that big oaf coming back, anyways?" Draco asked impatiently. Harry shrugged, while shooting his arch-nemisis a glare, and Draco yawned in silent response. He wasn't used to staying up this late, and even if he was, he would never, EVER go to sleep in this damn hut.
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The sun shown through the little window the hut had available, and Dracos' eyes felt really, really droopy. He was obviously tired. Very tired. He had stayed up as late as he could to deny sleep, but it had took him over, anyway. Stupid Harry. It was his fault. {No it wasn't, Draco, and you know it.} The little voice responded back to his thought. Draco started getting mad at himself, and started to take deep, supposedly calming breaths. Opening his eyes halfway, he saw Harry on the other side of the hut sleeping like a baby. Draco got up groggily, and walked over to Harry. His black hair was messy (as usual) and his glasses were on the table on the side of the couch. {I shouldn't wake him. Not yet. What is he talking about, not perfect!? It's a bunch of lies if Harry really believed that he isn't special, worshipped more like.}
Draco continued staring down at him. His skin was soft, as Draco's pale fingers trailed across Harry's flushed cheek. Harry moaned a little in his sleep and turned over, his back to Draco. Draco sighed. {He really is beautiful. If only he knew...} Draco's eyes widened at the fact that he had thought that, and he responded back to his thought in his mind, saying, {No. No! He isn't, Even though he is a stupid boy who is followed around and cheered for in Quidditch, and in the wizarding world, but in the valley of Voldomort, he is to no intrest in me!} Draco breathed a deep sigh, and walked away from the couch Harry was sleeping in. He walked over to the little window and looked out- everything was a disaster. The womping willow had many branches snapped off, but it was still well alive. The lake was filled with mud, although it would die down, anyway. The grass was ripped from some places, and Hogwarts hadn't been touched. Probably some magic Dumbledore had conjured with the other teachers and Hagrid.
A philosiphical question came to Draco's mind. {I wonder what love feels like?} He asked himself. He tried to feel it, for anything. For someone, maybe. It wouldn't work. He didn't love anyone, he noticed. If he had, he would notice. He knew one thing- he loved power. Power, money, and looks. He loved them. But what would it feel if it...or they...were people??
To the side, he heard Harry stirring. In reaction, he looked toward him. He had just opened his eyes, and was staring at Draco. "I'm not talking to you, Draco. So don't talk to me." He said. Confusedly, Draco asked, "I beg your pardon, Potter? Have I choked you in your sleep yet?" A faint smile crept across Harry's lips, as if he liked the reaction out of him.
"I guess not. If you had, you'd probably be lying on the ground frozen, as I had my wand in hand the whole time I was asleep."
{Stupid Harry. Always prepared. He's getting really very annoying, now.} Draco rolled his eyes, and heard a chuckle from Harry, and Draco, in turn, turned toward him. "What's so funny?" Draco asked, not amused by his light mood.
"Nothing's funny. It was just the look on your face when I told you I sleep with my wand."
"That's wrong, Potter. You know that?" I asked, a smile betraying to come to my lips. Damn body. Leave it to betray, it will.
"Your not half bad, Malfoy. Not half bad." Harry said, still smirking a little.
"Sure, Potter. Like you mean it." Draco asked scepticly.
"I do." Harry repeated. "Want to go to breakfast?" Harry asked, again worried that Draco might not submit.
"I guess." Draco responded, the smile fading from his lips.
Walking out of the hut was like walking into alien territory. It was so...different. Nevertheless, Harry kept walking right towards Hogwarts.
As they arrived at breakfast, they both went their own seperate ways.
"Harry, where were you last night?!" Ron asked angrily, worry mixed in.
"I was at Hagrid's, perfectly safe. Unfortunatly, I had to spend that whole time with Malfoy." They all looked over at the Slytherin table to look at Draco just for the fun of it. "That's odd....he's not eating."
Hermione responded, "Well, Harry, that's not odd. He's probably just not hungry."
Harry was silent for a second, and said, "He was last night. He said he hadn't ate since two nights ago."
"Harry, it's Malfoy. Leave him to his own misery. Really, Harry, you care too much." Ron responded concernly.
"And concerning you, Ron, why didn't you tell me you had a crush on Hermione?" Harry asked, a smile cracking at his lips. He was happy for them both, really, but a little sad to kind of be left out.
"I don't know. I was afraid you might try and tell her or force me to try and go out with her." Ron stated. Harry was shocked. He would never do that. "Ron, why would you think that?"
"I don't know, Harry, ok? I don't know. I guess I was just...worried." Ron responded, frowning. Harry sighed, and nodded. "Ok."
Harry was still worried about Draco. He knew he shouldn't have been. He was, though. Oddly...he was. {He's your worst enemy, Harry, why are you even caring?!} He scolded himself. He sighed. No, he had to go see what was up with Draco, or his curiosity would topple him over and instead he would be doing it another time anyways.
Following Draco out of the Great hall, he called out rather catchingly.
"Draco! Wait up." Harry said loudly. Draco turned around like he had almost been attacked.
"What do you want, Potter?" He said in quick response, his menecing facade going quickly into place.
Besides his hateful manner, Harry decided to go through with what he came here to do in the first place. "Draco, what's wrong with you?"
"Nothing Potter... what? Is there red and green spots all over my body? If I had, then you would surely be gaping." Draco said, with a large pound of sarcasm.
"Draco, I noticed you didn't eat this morning." Harry stated.
"And....? Your point being?" Draco was enjoying this little game of pity. He let a smirk slip, and added, "Potter, I would be watching your back more with all the ghosts and so-called spied around, and all. I wouldn't be worrying about me the least bit."
"Well, Malfoy, I'm not you, am I?" Harry responded, not amused. He also had noticed that he had been calling him 'Draco' the whole time, and had scolded himself yet again for doing that. [He's Malfoy, understand!?] Harry told himself rather diligintly. "What game are you playing at, Malfoy? Huh? Because if you want pity, I'm not giving you anymore."
"Good, Potter. I don't want your pity. I want perfection. To be the best." With admitting that, Draco embarresed, headed toward the Slytherin dorms.
Harry sighed. He was starting to get a little nervous about Draco. Ya, he hated him, but the fact of a person doing that to themself seemed- very odd and, like the Hogwarts ground this morning, it was alien to him. It didn't contrast with his philosophy. Heading toward the Gryffindor common room, he went to go back to sleep. It was Saturday, so he had time to relax.
{I hope Draco's ok.} Harry lastly thought, as he drifted away to sleep.
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Authors Note: I hope it was ok! I know it's long. Please, please, please tell me your opinion on it. It will get more....angsty, unfortunatly, but as that one quote says, 'And the plot yet thickens!' :)
Author's note: This is a kind of depressing fic, but it get's better in the end. Really, it does :) I guess you could call it a little bit of fluff mixed in there. Also, this does involve homosexual feelings between two teenage boys, so if you're offended, go somewhere else and read. (Harry/Draco pairing, Ron/Hermione, Hermione/Harry)
Copywrite: All of the characters are copywrite J.K Rowling and Warner Bros. I am not using this to gain money, or whatever, I am doing this for the entertainment of myself, and of course the readers :)
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Draco looked in the mirror, worry spreading across his face at his thighs and stomach. He could tell that if he didn't lose some pounds, he would get fat and ugly like Crabbe and Goyle- mind you, no one would want to be that ugly, but especially not him! It wasn't that he was obese, or anything, he was perfectly normal for a boy his height. His mind was in a silent fight between his fathers words of perfection, and his own gut feeling of telling him he was perfectly fine. 'It's probably just puberty.' He would tell himself, but then his fathers words would come rolling back into his head like an obsession.
"Draco, you must be the best for Voldomort when it comes your time to be marked. Be at your VERY best..."
It wasn't really his father, Lucius's words, it was more the way he said it, and the way his fathers pierced his own son's eye in understanding.
Draco had never really even seen Voldomort, but of course had heard of him and his great accomplishments. He was going to meet him when this Hogwarts year had ended, and he would leave to Malfoy Manor.
Draco's pov.
Being 119 Ibs. 5'4 with a small frame, I wonder how this could ever have happened. Maybe I had gained a few pounds since I had last looked at the scale. I sighed, bringing myself to walk back to my bed and put my school robe back on, that had just before layered the green and silver satin sheets on the bed. {Oh well, might as well go to class, now. If I eat breakfast, I'll probably begin pigging out like Goyle...} I cringed at the thought of me stuffing myself full of delicious sweets and chocolates. No...that can't happen. It won't.
Walking down the dark corridors that lead to the dormitories, I reached the Slytherin common room, stopped, and sighed to think. {I'll never be like my father want's me to be} My pessimistic side shouted out at me. Shaking my head, I attempted at washing the bad thought away as soon as I could. I walked out into the dark halls of Hogwarts and headed for Transfiguration. Unfortunatly on the way, I meet up with Harry Potter. The slimy little mud- blood loving Gryffindor, always so loyal to his friends. Alwats worshiped by everyone around him.
{You're jealous.} A tiny voice whispered mischeviously in the depths of my mind. I walked past the oblivious Potter, feeling Ron's scowl on my back. I didn't want to fight with them right now. Without Crabbe and Goyle, I wouldn't take my bloody chances. Potter had sent so many curses and hexes my way to brand even Voldomort weak. Which, of course, he wasn't. {See! Even Potter is better than you!} The tiny voice squeaked inside my head. 'Damn concience!' Scowling, I walked into Transfiguration, and went through it as normal, snickering at when others made mistakes, or laughing at the stupid idiots' faces just for the fun of it.
Everything goes okay, until I have to face Harry Potter and his no-good friends in potions (in which we're ironicly always together in, every year.)
"Hey, Malfoy, watch where you're going!" I heard the Weasel scream after me, as I bumped into him, and went ahead a few feet. Deciding to stand up for myself, I turned around at his voice. His round face, which was only a few shades lighter than his hair, was the first thing I saw.
"No, I won't watch where I'm going, thank-you-very-much. I have things to acually DO, instead of hang around with you stupid Gryffindors...['a slight pause of thought here']... I'm- in a hurry." In truth, it was really hard for me to come up with a comeback, and whenever I do, it's NEVER nice, no matter which person I am talking to (with the exception of my father and Voldomort of course, even though I haven't acually MET Voldomort yet.) It just kind of- comes out.
After a while, lunch rolled around, and of course, I was starving. Had to eat something. As I walked into the Great Hall, I smelled the delicious smell of, of course, food. Scuffling over to the table oppisite of the Gryffindors, I sat down at my normal spot in Slytherin, and watched as Goyle and Crabbe stuffed themselves full of food, along with other people (who were eating and talking at the same time, acually, which was kind of gross in my opinion). Taking a roll out of one of the bread baskets, I started eating it, and looked at it after I had taken a small, sampling bite. For some reason, I wasn't hungry anymore. I felt my brow furrow, as I looked down into my lap, thoughts running wild in my head. No, this isn't how I could lose weight. I won't subject myself to harmful labour and excersice as though my life depends on it. No matter what.
I was still hungry, although my appitite was spoiled. I just couldn't bring it to my mouth. There was something vile about it. It wasn't poisoned, or anything, it was just...I couldn't bring myself to consume it.
Harry's pov.
Hermione was talking about the Herbology homework that we had to do during the weekend, and I kind of zoned out. It wasn't that I didn't like Hermione's company, it was that...she could get annoying. Very, VERY annoying.
Dumbledore said I should watch my back this year. I don't really know why. We had a talk yesterday about some ghost-like spies being in the school. Unfortunatly, he didn't know who they were. He had only been informed when the ministry of magic had reported it just as a warning for all of the students, as well as the staff.
"Harry, are you listening to me?" Hermione cut into my thoughts like butter, and I was flicked back to attention, nodding my head like a lying idiot, my eyes fakely yearning for more book knowledge. I heard her sigh, and continue talking. "Honstly Harry, you've always been like this. Even though you are a hero, and Dumbledore told you to watch your back doesn't mean you should slack off on your classes!" She scolded. {I'll just feel sorry for her future children} Harry thought with pity. For some odd reason, though, I kind of liked her. More than a friend. Cho had kind of faded out of my thoughts after the rumour in fourth year of her having sex with one of the other ravenclaws. I don't know why I was attracted to her, really. When it came right down to it, she was as much of a git as Malfoy was.
After a while, my classes were done for the day, and I went back to my dormitories. Lying on my bed, I sighed, taking in the sweet autumn air from Ron opening the windows before I even got here. I closed my eyes, and opened them back up. {It would be a very nice day for me to have some fresh air and watch a sunset.} I thought. Looking out the window confirmed that it was a nice afternoon outside, so I stood up, heading out the door.
Draco's pov.
I needed some time to think tonight. Something to distract me from my problems. Goyle was the latest. He kept asking me if I had smuggled any food into the dormitories, and annoyingly I responded, "NO, Goyle, I HAVEN'T!" He wandered off to roam around the school for some odd reason or another, leaving me alone with Crabbe. "Um...I'll just...go then." He said, after a long silence.
Glad that the two loafs were off, I walked off into the direction of my door, broom in hand after acheiving it from the polished chest in the corner of the dorm.
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The lake was very peaceful, unlike peoples' lives, unfortunatly. Why couldn't we be more like this lake? The wind chilled my face, and made a shrill shiver go up my spine. I crossed my arms to keep a little warmer from the early warnings of winter to come, and shivered a little more slightly, and shut my eyes to block out the vision of everything.
Narator's viewpoint
Draco slowly opened his eyes back up, only to see Harry not far away, also staring at the lake deep in thought. {I wonder what Potter's thinking about right now- or who.} Draco sneered. He hated the bloody seeker, The-Boy-Who- Lived, The one who had defeated the Dark Lord, not once, not twice, but about four times. It was pathetic that Harry could acually do it when he was just a damn teenage boy!
His skin from his palms were going to seep with blood in a while, but before that could happen, Draco stopped his fingernails from digging into his flesh when he saw Granger starting to approach Harry. Damn that mudblood. They always spoiled his good moments, even ones that he thought they couldn't even reach him from. Instead of taking his rage out on his palms, he grabbed the grass and rapidly ripped out blade by blade, staring at each one like it were his worst enemy.
Harry had also noticed Draco not far away, but really didn't feel like putting up with his little weak insults. "Harry, how are you? You are ok, aren't you?" Hermione asked, concerned.
Harry looked down into the lake, and nodded. "Ya, Hermione, I'm ok. Just a little worried, that's all." He responded, still staring deeply in thought.
Hermione sighed, and looked at Harry. "Harry, did you ever know Ron had a crush on me?" She asked. Harry, broken from thought, looked at her, suddenly offended that his best friend- Ron Weasley, wouldn't have told him that secret. "No. Does he?" Harry asked surprised, gasping lightly at the confession. She nodded, a faint smile spreading across her lips. She was starting to flush a little at the thought of Ron liking her, her smile plastered to her lips. {What if Harry likes me?} She asked herself worringly, looking at Harry's expression. "Harry, if you like me, just know that I will always be here. I will always be your friend." She responded rather quickly.
Harry looked down and sighed. "No, Hermione, I don't have that much of a crush on you. I like you as a friend, of course. I'm just ...kind of bugged that Ron never told me that he liked you."
"Harry, Ron has his own feelings and secrets, you know. You should respect that." Hermione said, matter-of-factly.
"Ya...you're right." Harry gave in, and laid on the soft, cold grass. The clouds were odd today, starting to get gray, and clouds were coming from the east.
Ignoring them, Harry sat back up and looked back at Hermione as she spoke. "Well, Harry, I better be going. It's almost nightfall, and I have to get the last of my Herbology homework done." She said, with a sigh. Harry watched, as she walked away slowly from the lake towards Hogwarts.
It was nightfall at 8:30 PM, and Harry was still out there. As well as Draco. They really had nothing else to do. Off in the distance, both Draco and Harry turned their heads to the east as they heard a swirling sound...a loud....loud...banging, swirling sound. Wind. A tornado. Getting up, Harry nervously started walking away from the lake. Hagrids' house was closer than Hogwarts, so he started heading that way.
Draco didn't really know where to go. So, of course, he followed Harry. {Damn him....stupid Harry Potter. I hate him!} He recited as he followed Harry to Hagrid's hut. As Harry got into the hut, the door was slammed and locked. Draco was left outside, staring at the door when he caught up. {Damn that Potter!} He recited once more. If he had to swear to something, he would swear that Harry did that in spite.
"Hey, let me in!" Draco demanded, knocking on the door viciously. After about 3 minutes, Hagrid opened the door, and sighed. "Com'on en Mist-er Malfoy." Hagrid opened the door, and Draco walked in to see Harry snug in a maroon-red chair, reading a book. Draco rolled his eyes, and sat down on the couch a few feet away from where the chair was placed. Hagrid found Malfoy VERY rude. He didn't thank anyone, didn't listen to rules, and was a bloody coward in his eyes. Hagrid unconciencly sighed, and shook his head, as he stirred the mysterious goup in the pot.
Harry's pov.
I tried not to let it get to me. The fact that stupid Malfoy was let in by Hagrid out of pure pity. He was annoying and selfish, and didn't care for anyone other than himself.
"Potter, can I ask you something?" Draco asked, looking at me waiting for my approval. My mouth was thinned into a line, and I wondered what he would acually ask me that wasn't rude or stupid.
Draco just asked, without my approval. Maybe he thought that if I didn't reply, that was approval. Oh well.
"Harry, how much do you weigh?" He asked, a question that had surprised me. I had never, ever expected that to come out of Malfoy's mouth. Maybe Hermione, based on she would probably go off about it being healthy or whatever response. And....oddly....very VERY oddly...he had said my first name. Nevertheless, I decided to answer his strange question anyway.
"123 Ibs. Why?" I asked, kind of confused.
"Just wondering Potter. No need to get defensive."
I looked at him for a few seconds trying to search the truth in his gray, emotionless eyes, but to no avail. Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to my book.
'Don't ever walk away from me again, Shane. It isn't fair that I have to live without you. Please, don't-'
"Potter, is it really safe in here?" Draco asked, again turning my attention away from my book. He was starting to get annoying. This was a really important part in the book!
"Yes, Malfoy, it's safe." Harry responded exasperantly.
From the corner of Harry's eye, he saw Draco looking around fearfully. {Damnit, Malfoy, stop distracting me!} Harry accused silently.
'I love you Shane. Please, stay here, with me, and our children. I never-'
"Potter, why are-" Draco started.
"Damnit, Malfoy, shut up! I'm trying to read this, if you haven't noticed!" Harry yelled with annoyance.
"Fine, Potter, Be that way. I was just going to ask you why you're so perfect, but I guess you really don't want to talk to me, then." Draco finished. He really wanted to know why. Why he was worshiped, liked, LOVED, and aside from general contridiction, had a very nice body. [Whoa....Did I just....think that!?] Draco asked himself with a hidden panic, and then quickly shaming himself for it.
Harry was stunned. "Malfoy, is there something wrong with you?!" Harry's eyes widened. Why was he even talking to Draco anyway?
"No, not really Potter, unless you're talking about my twisted sense of humour. Other than that, I'm fine. Just answer my question." Draco asked seriously, narrowing his eyes ever so slightly.
Harry didn't know what to say. Perfect? He wasn't perfect at all! He was ugly, stupid when it came right down to it, and he didn't have as many true friends as he would like. And the attention he got from the press was horrific, annoying, and fearful.
"I'm not perfect." He said as a fact. Draco then had an impressed expression plastered on his face.
"Nice of you to think so lowly of yourself, Potter, but stop denying it. It's childish." Draco said, smirking.
"Malfoy, if it was up to me, I would start thinking that you THOUGHT I was perfect!" Harry stated. Draco looked up from thought and sighed. He decided not to answer.
"Draco..." Harry asked again, cussing slightly, noticing he had accidently let his worst enemys' name slip out. Getting back to normal thought, he then started to wonder if Draco was going to respond to him or not. Just then, Harry noticed the absence of Hagrid, and remembered Hagrid half telling him he was going to Hogwarts to keep the students there safe, if needed, and that Harry and Draco would be safe in his hut. Relieved, Harry sighed, and relaxed.
Looking over at Draco, I saw him holding his stomach, gulping once and staring at the fire.
"Belly ache?" I asked him, kind of feeling sorry for him. Ya, he WAS a slimy git, but he was still just a fraction human.
Draco looked at me, and didn't nod or shake his head just stared. He then looked down to the floor, and back up into the fire. "No. I'm kind of hungry though."
"Didn't you eat?" I asked, just a bit of concern in my voice.
"Why do you care, Potter?" Draco asked coldly. I defensivly backed off, allowing Draco his thinking room.
A long silence had resulted, and unfortunatly it wasn't a peaceful kind of silence. It was tense. Like both of us were afraid to really talk to each other, afraid of the result.
"You could eat the stuff Hagrid is cooking-" without getting to finish, I was interrupted.
"I am not putting any part of that- stuff- inside me!" Draco responded, looking resolutly disgusted at the suggestion.
"You said you were hungry." Harry stated.
"Yes, but not that hungry." Draco shot back.
"When was the last time you ate, anyway?" Harry asked, just out of curiosity.
"Why are you concerned, Potter?"
"Because I'm curious, not concerned." I denied. I was slightly concerned. Not alot, though.
Narrator pov.
"The last time I ate was at lunch. A bite of role. Lost my appetite. The acual time I really ate was yesterday at dinner." Draco responded truthfully. Didn't matter anyways, it didn't mean Harry would care. He was probably glad that Draco was atleast making an attempt to make himself suffer over some odd reason or another.
Draco looked back over to Harry, and Harry was looking at him, unblinking. "What?" Draco asked, wondering what Harry was staring at. Harry shook his head to stop staring and asked, "Draco, if you were hungry, why haven't you ate?" Harry asked. Ha! Stupid boy. He didn't even know my true motive, so he should stay out of my buisness.
"Why does it matter?" Draco asked, looking at Harry again, expecting an answer. Harry sighed, and just layed back. {He was ...probably not hungry before or something.} Harry excused. Maybe that was it. It's not like he had to care, anyways.
"When's that big oaf coming back, anyways?" Draco asked impatiently. Harry shrugged, while shooting his arch-nemisis a glare, and Draco yawned in silent response. He wasn't used to staying up this late, and even if he was, he would never, EVER go to sleep in this damn hut.
-------------------------------------------------
The sun shown through the little window the hut had available, and Dracos' eyes felt really, really droopy. He was obviously tired. Very tired. He had stayed up as late as he could to deny sleep, but it had took him over, anyway. Stupid Harry. It was his fault. {No it wasn't, Draco, and you know it.} The little voice responded back to his thought. Draco started getting mad at himself, and started to take deep, supposedly calming breaths. Opening his eyes halfway, he saw Harry on the other side of the hut sleeping like a baby. Draco got up groggily, and walked over to Harry. His black hair was messy (as usual) and his glasses were on the table on the side of the couch. {I shouldn't wake him. Not yet. What is he talking about, not perfect!? It's a bunch of lies if Harry really believed that he isn't special, worshipped more like.}
Draco continued staring down at him. His skin was soft, as Draco's pale fingers trailed across Harry's flushed cheek. Harry moaned a little in his sleep and turned over, his back to Draco. Draco sighed. {He really is beautiful. If only he knew...} Draco's eyes widened at the fact that he had thought that, and he responded back to his thought in his mind, saying, {No. No! He isn't, Even though he is a stupid boy who is followed around and cheered for in Quidditch, and in the wizarding world, but in the valley of Voldomort, he is to no intrest in me!} Draco breathed a deep sigh, and walked away from the couch Harry was sleeping in. He walked over to the little window and looked out- everything was a disaster. The womping willow had many branches snapped off, but it was still well alive. The lake was filled with mud, although it would die down, anyway. The grass was ripped from some places, and Hogwarts hadn't been touched. Probably some magic Dumbledore had conjured with the other teachers and Hagrid.
A philosiphical question came to Draco's mind. {I wonder what love feels like?} He asked himself. He tried to feel it, for anything. For someone, maybe. It wouldn't work. He didn't love anyone, he noticed. If he had, he would notice. He knew one thing- he loved power. Power, money, and looks. He loved them. But what would it feel if it...or they...were people??
To the side, he heard Harry stirring. In reaction, he looked toward him. He had just opened his eyes, and was staring at Draco. "I'm not talking to you, Draco. So don't talk to me." He said. Confusedly, Draco asked, "I beg your pardon, Potter? Have I choked you in your sleep yet?" A faint smile crept across Harry's lips, as if he liked the reaction out of him.
"I guess not. If you had, you'd probably be lying on the ground frozen, as I had my wand in hand the whole time I was asleep."
{Stupid Harry. Always prepared. He's getting really very annoying, now.} Draco rolled his eyes, and heard a chuckle from Harry, and Draco, in turn, turned toward him. "What's so funny?" Draco asked, not amused by his light mood.
"Nothing's funny. It was just the look on your face when I told you I sleep with my wand."
"That's wrong, Potter. You know that?" I asked, a smile betraying to come to my lips. Damn body. Leave it to betray, it will.
"Your not half bad, Malfoy. Not half bad." Harry said, still smirking a little.
"Sure, Potter. Like you mean it." Draco asked scepticly.
"I do." Harry repeated. "Want to go to breakfast?" Harry asked, again worried that Draco might not submit.
"I guess." Draco responded, the smile fading from his lips.
Walking out of the hut was like walking into alien territory. It was so...different. Nevertheless, Harry kept walking right towards Hogwarts.
As they arrived at breakfast, they both went their own seperate ways.
"Harry, where were you last night?!" Ron asked angrily, worry mixed in.
"I was at Hagrid's, perfectly safe. Unfortunatly, I had to spend that whole time with Malfoy." They all looked over at the Slytherin table to look at Draco just for the fun of it. "That's odd....he's not eating."
Hermione responded, "Well, Harry, that's not odd. He's probably just not hungry."
Harry was silent for a second, and said, "He was last night. He said he hadn't ate since two nights ago."
"Harry, it's Malfoy. Leave him to his own misery. Really, Harry, you care too much." Ron responded concernly.
"And concerning you, Ron, why didn't you tell me you had a crush on Hermione?" Harry asked, a smile cracking at his lips. He was happy for them both, really, but a little sad to kind of be left out.
"I don't know. I was afraid you might try and tell her or force me to try and go out with her." Ron stated. Harry was shocked. He would never do that. "Ron, why would you think that?"
"I don't know, Harry, ok? I don't know. I guess I was just...worried." Ron responded, frowning. Harry sighed, and nodded. "Ok."
Harry was still worried about Draco. He knew he shouldn't have been. He was, though. Oddly...he was. {He's your worst enemy, Harry, why are you even caring?!} He scolded himself. He sighed. No, he had to go see what was up with Draco, or his curiosity would topple him over and instead he would be doing it another time anyways.
Following Draco out of the Great hall, he called out rather catchingly.
"Draco! Wait up." Harry said loudly. Draco turned around like he had almost been attacked.
"What do you want, Potter?" He said in quick response, his menecing facade going quickly into place.
Besides his hateful manner, Harry decided to go through with what he came here to do in the first place. "Draco, what's wrong with you?"
"Nothing Potter... what? Is there red and green spots all over my body? If I had, then you would surely be gaping." Draco said, with a large pound of sarcasm.
"Draco, I noticed you didn't eat this morning." Harry stated.
"And....? Your point being?" Draco was enjoying this little game of pity. He let a smirk slip, and added, "Potter, I would be watching your back more with all the ghosts and so-called spied around, and all. I wouldn't be worrying about me the least bit."
"Well, Malfoy, I'm not you, am I?" Harry responded, not amused. He also had noticed that he had been calling him 'Draco' the whole time, and had scolded himself yet again for doing that. [He's Malfoy, understand!?] Harry told himself rather diligintly. "What game are you playing at, Malfoy? Huh? Because if you want pity, I'm not giving you anymore."
"Good, Potter. I don't want your pity. I want perfection. To be the best." With admitting that, Draco embarresed, headed toward the Slytherin dorms.
Harry sighed. He was starting to get a little nervous about Draco. Ya, he hated him, but the fact of a person doing that to themself seemed- very odd and, like the Hogwarts ground this morning, it was alien to him. It didn't contrast with his philosophy. Heading toward the Gryffindor common room, he went to go back to sleep. It was Saturday, so he had time to relax.
{I hope Draco's ok.} Harry lastly thought, as he drifted away to sleep.
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Authors Note: I hope it was ok! I know it's long. Please, please, please tell me your opinion on it. It will get more....angsty, unfortunatly, but as that one quote says, 'And the plot yet thickens!' :)