It's Not Easy Being Perfect (3)
Author's note: This is a kind of depressing fic, but it get's better in the end. Really, it does :) I guess you could call it a little bit of fluff mixed in there. Also, this does involve homosexual feelings between two teenage boys, so if you're offended, go somewhere else and read. (Harry/Draco pairing, Ron/Hermione, Hermione/Harry)
Copywrite: All of the characters are copywrite J.K Rowling and Warner Bros. I am not using this to gain money, or whatever, I am doing this for the entertainment of myself, and of course the readers :)
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Draco laid out on the grass, sprawled, his body disturbingly still. Harry turned back to where the thing had attacked, and looked around. He couldn't see it. Anywhere. All of a sudden, he heard a footstep behind him.
"Harrrryyyy...." It hissed antagonisingly. It's body of white mist came towards him at rapid speed, it hissing as loudly as it could go.
Harry's ears hurt him. His mind couldn't think. Sweat head formed over his whole body, and he noticed sound coming out of his mouth. He was screaming, trying to endure it's torturous screetching. After a few moments, he passed out.
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The light above his eyes was the first to awake Harry. His eyes fluttered, thought he didn't sit up. A deep voice was the first thing he heard, as he woke. Listening harder, he noticed the charming voice of Dumbledore. A voice responded. It was Madam Pomfrey.
"- although, I am very worried about Draco's condition." She replied, finishing a sentence Harry hadn't heard the first of.
"Yes, I know. Along with me. Draco is a good student, if not for his- connections. I will have a talk about it with him when he rocoveres from waking up."
Harry paused in thought, as Dumbledore left the room, scuffing his aged shoes along with him. {What is she worried about? What is he going to talk to Draco about? This doesn't make sense.} Harry thought in confusion. If only he had woke up a little bit before. He didn't want to awake to Pomfrey just yet, so he closed his eyes again. The silence had gotten unbearable. Falling deeper in his thoughts, Harry drifted off into another deep sleep.
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Awake again from Dumbledore, he listened as some sentences of his Headmaster tumbled out of his mouth, not making sense to Harry's not-yet- fully-awakened conciencness. Listening more closely, as well as more awakened, Harry kept his lids closed.
"Draco, I- I need to talk to you about something. You don't have to conform, if you don't want." Dumbledore mumbled out of his beard covered mouth.
"Yes, Headmaster?" Harry heard Draco respond in a softly weak voice.
"Draco we- Madam Pomfrey and I, have found- have found some markings on your wrists. Your weight is also very abnormal. Is there- is there anything you'd like to talk about?" Dumbledore hesitantly asked.
Harry pondered this for a second.{Markings, on his wrist? I wonder....Maybe the Dark Mark. But then again, he said 'Marking(s) with an S. And his weight,} Harry stopped in midsentence, as he already knew what Dumbledore meant by that. He knew what he had been hinting at.
Draco had paled at their discovery. No words had yet escaped his mouth. Draco had decided what he had to do. Nothing.
"No, Headmaster. I- I don't wish to talk about it." Draco's face turned away from Dumbledore's concerned gaze in his eyes.
"Are you sure, Draco?" Dumbledore asked, yet again.
Draco gritted his teeth, closed his eyes, still facing away from the silent interrogation. "Yes." He responded.
Dumbledore sighed, giving up, and scuffed out of the hospital wing. Harry found the chat between Dumbledore and Draco very intresting indeed. He wished they had atleast mentioned a little- more. Deciding it was time to wake up, he fluttered his eyes open. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Draco on the bed beside him, his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. Acting like he had just woke up, Harry sat up, and let out a quite an attention recieved yawn.
Draco looked over at Harry, frowning. "Finally you woke up." Draco responded to the rediculous yawn. Harry looked at Draco and nodded groggily. "How long have we been out?" Harry asked, acting oblivious to the conversation Draco had had before.
"About two days, Dumbledore says." Draco responded.
"Dumbledore was here?" Harry asked, pretending to be confused.
Draco looked at Harry for a longer moment, and snapped, "You're very bad at lying, Potter. Thought you should know that." Draco turned to look at the ceiling again, an expression of offendance upon his face. {How did he know...?} Harry thought agaze.
Harry sighed. {Well, since he already knows he was here and talking, I might as well ask him.} Harry thought.
"What did he mean?" Asked Harry thoughtlessly.
"Who?" Draco asked, forgetting about everything, before a thought hit him again about Dumbledore. "Oh, ya, him...Um..." He didn't know what to say. He really didn't. Did Harry know at all? {God, I hope he doesn't.} Draco thought horridly.
"He said something about Markings and your weight. Was it the Dark Mark he was talking about?" Harry asked, expectantly looking over at Draco for an answer.
"No, Potter, he wasn't talking about the Dark Mark!" Draco snapped at him. {How could he be so ignorant?} Draco thought to himself, fuming. "I don't want to talk about it, Potter." Draco responded after calming down, though still gritting his teeth. He turned on his back to avoid Harry's questioning gaze.
{Well, I best leave it at that, or I'll get yelled at again by the mighty Malfoy.} Harry thought sarcastically to himself. What is he hiding?
Pomfrey entered the room quietly, thinking Harry and Draco were asleep, but was surprised at them both fully wide awake.
"Ok, boys, you can go back to your dormitories, now."
Harry and Draco both got out of the hospital beds, and were heading toward the door, when Pomfrey added, "Oh, but Draco, you need to stay here a couple more minutes. I need to do some extra tests on you. Harry, go along now."
Draco grunted, and walked over defeatedly over to Madam Pomfrey. All the while, her going over what tests she was going to do.
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Harry hurried to his dormitory. He knew it was morning, as windows he had passed had shown the sun peaking over the horizon in the east. Ron should be asleep, as well as Seamus and the others.
Sneaking quietly in, he shut the door, and headed over to his trunk. Clicking it open, he reached to the bottom, and clutched the ever enduring invisibility cloak. Smiling smugly to himself, he then heard Ron moan a little in his sleep, and heard him mutter, "Harry....harry, is't you?" Before Ron could find out if it really was Harry, he stormed out of the dormitory, and into the halls. He had to catch Draco going to his dormitory, sneak in to the Slytherin portrait without Draco's knowledge, and follow him. He had to find out what those markings were. He always dismissed the muggle saying, 'Curiosity killed the cat.' In this case, Harry didn't believe it killed, he believed it put the cat in very, very huge danger.
A glint of blonde hair and pale face had attracted Harry's attention, and he turned. Draco was heading towards his way to the Slytherin portrait.
"Reaks of rats." Draco said, and the potrait swung open, Harry following close behind, yet not too close as to be found out. {Reaks of rats? That is the wierdest password I have ever heard.} Harry thought to himself. The Slytherin common room was cold, even though the fire was lit. Maybe the Slytherin's cold attitudes and stares they could give in here had chilled up the room.
Trailing up the stairs behind Draco, they came to a room, and Draco walked in just as quietly. Walking to his bed, he sat down, and layed staring up at the ceiling. Unfortunatly, this was all Harry had to do. Watch, and wait. He was here to gain some knowledge, damnit, not sit and stare!
Draco pulled the curtains, and Harry noticed that he was near Draco, near his bed. Harry cringed at the thought of what Draco had done to him all these past years. It was morbidly disturbing that he would even think that he would follow the little ferret to his bed area with his own free will.
Draco pulled off his black robes, and pulled aside the curtians, heading for the shower. Harry was left standing under the invisibility cloak, and sighed when he heard the door close, and the sound of a shower running. He sat down on the bed, and uncovered his head. This was going to be a long night.
About 15 minutes later, Draco walked back into the curtains, luckily not naked. That would be a difficult sight to see.
He had boxers on them, that, not surprisingly, had his name all over them. Harry tried his best to keep his laugh in, and keep his cover. He had stood back up and put the invisibility cloak over his head before Draco had even opened the curtains before, of course. He didn't have a shirt on, so their wasn't much to miss of his- his wrists.
Harry looked down from Draco's face, and paced to his wrists. They had scabbed over gashes on them, horribly deep. Alot of them. They would most likely leave a scar. As much as Harry wanted, he couldn't ask the question that gagged his mind.
He wanted so desperatly to ask, 'Malfoy, do you cut yourself?' But he kept quiet. Very quiet. Draco stepped out of the curtains again, and Harry stepped out as well being careful not to make any sound. Walking over to where Draco stood, he noticed that he stood over a scale. A weight scale. It read- '87 Ibs.'
{....Oh gods This isn't right.} Harry stared at the scale longer, and noticed that he was correct. 87. Draco shouldn't have weighed that much. For his height and his muscle that quidditch had formed on him, this just didn't conform.
Draco, staring down at the scale, muttered, "Damn. Gained two pounds. Stupid Pomfrey stuck that needle in me. Thought she could feed me like a little baby. I don't need it. I don't need any of it." Harry had to really listen, and luckily had caught this confession.
Draco was sick. Awefully, and morbidly- sick.
Following Draco back to his bed, he watched- watched, and waited to see what was to result. Then, he saw it.
The glittery piece of metal that potruded from a secret place under his bed. Draco, holding it up, frowned, and brought it slowly to his skin. {Why do I do this?} Draco thought to himself, laying the metal to his skin, but since distracted from thought, didn't move his hand. {Why have I started this? It's not- not normal. If anyone else knew about this, they would think I was a crazy homocidal lunatic....} He started having second thoughts again, like every time he had done this. He refocused his attention back to what he was doing.
Harry watched in slight shock at what he knew Draco was about to do. He held the blade up a little, and came down. Right before he hit the skin, Harry decided to stop this.
"No!" Harry shouted. A slight worry shook at waking the others, but it was put to the side rather quickly.
Draco had jumped at Harry shouting, and stared at Harry in shock. In utter, total shock. He was gaping, and quivering at the same time. Gulping, Harry finally let out a stuttered word. "D-don't." Harry eyed Draco frantically.
"How the hell did you get in here?!" Draco whispered loudly, meaning it would have been a scream if he didn't have others in the room sleeping.
"I- I- invisibility cloak." Was all Harry said. It's all he really could say.
There was an odd, very tense, but very odd silence that had poked its head through at that moment. It was a silence that was not appreciated right at the moment.
Draco took his head between his hands, and looked down, lookd away from Harry. He couldn't handle this. Not now. Not yet. He knew he would ask questions.
"Why?" Harry asked the one worded question.
Draco's silver gaze met up with Harry's, and he asked again. "Why do you do this?" It sounded more of an accusation this time.
"I- I don't know, ok?!" Draco snapped, his voice tight and rough. He was looking back down. Draco decided to continue. To hell with what Harry thought. Maybe he would find a little about himself with his forced confession. "I...I do it because whenever I do...I feel a release. I can't explain it Harry, it's- It's different than crying, or anything else. It's like I'm somewhere else, somewhere peaceful. Somewhere I don't have to be bossed around, told where my life has to go. I saw Voldomort over winter vacation last week...."
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Draco entered the Malfoy Manor, expecting the presents to be piled atop in his personal room. He ran into the long corridor, past the door of his mother and fathers room, and raced up the stairs. He stopped, midway, as a recognizable figure loomed overhead.
"Hello Draco." It was his father, Lucius Malfoy. He was staring down at Draco, a mischevious smile spread on his face.
"H-hello father." Draco sputtered out. He didn't want to talk to his father right now. He was too happy. He was in a good mood.
"Draco, I want you to see one of your presents, up in your room." Lucius added. He walked slowly, Draco following behind obediantly.
"Such a good boy, Draco. You'll make a fine death eater some day." His father grinned behind his shoulder at Draco, Draco smiling falsely back.
They had reached the door to his room, and Lucius opened the door for his blonde-haired son to enter.
Draco entered. In the corner of his room, he saw a creature that he had never seen before. It was rather ugly. It turned it's eyes toward Draco, and the creatures gaze struck Draco's heart and soul and body into fear. Fear like he had never known.
"Lucius, Leave us." It hissed loudly. "Yes, Lord, of course." Lucius said hesitantly, frowning. At the time, Draco had noticed the trademark 'Lord'. His father would never call anyone that, other than-
"You do know who I am, don't you, Draco?" Draco nodded fearfully, understandingly. This creature, this thing- Voldemort. It was disgusting. It slithered it's way into people's hearts through fear, made them shrink against their will.
"Don't nod at me, boy, Speak!" It yelled contently.
"Yes, y-yes, um- Your the Dark Lord. I'm- honored sir. Honestly. I was just so- so surprised at seeing your great presence without being told." Draco lied. He really had expected to see Voldemort during the summer, not now. Not during the holidays.
"Good. Come here, boy." It spoke, softly, and silently threatening.
Draco inched closer. It's finger kept pulling inwards, pushing Draco to come nearer. With every step he took, it filled in him. The fear, the thoughts of death racing through his head. His eyes were filled with panic, though he tried his hardest not to show it. Draco was about half a foot away from Voldemort, when it spoke to him. "Don't worry- It's never when people aren't awed at my presence." Draco almost gagged on his breath. It was like rotting flesh. If he hadn't guessed already so, he would have sworn he was a full fledged canibal.
"If I might ask, Lord, why- why have you come earlier than expected?" Draco asked, not meeting the Dark Lord's peircing snake eyes.
"Because.....I wanted to see you before you were marked over the summer...I wanted to see if you were as worthy as your father, Lucius, says you are." It hissed, yet again. It's finger brought Draco's face and gaze up. Draco was then forced to look into his eyes.
"You're so beautiful, you know that?" It hissed loudly near his ear, seducing him into trust. Draco wasn't fooled. He already knew that this- this monster. It was different from the stories he had heard about him. He had heard power, greatness, success, and lots of other worthy applauding things, but- now, when he looked at it, at it's seducing glare, it's horrible breath, and just everything about it, it made Draco want to wretch.
Still staring into his eyes, Voldemort leaned near Draco, and licked the side of his cheek with his tounge. Draco shivered, feeling the slimy snake tounge slide over his cheek. It was gross, morbidly disgusting. He wanted to push it away, run, run as far as the lands and hills could go. It then got close to his mouth, and kissed him. This was the worst kiss he had ever had. Unfortunatly, it was the first kiss he had ever recieved.
Draco was forced to let it's tounge enter. The horrible smell and taste intruded upon his mouth and nostrils, but he was too stricken with fear and shock to object. He felt Voldemort slide his hand down to his genatils, and squeeze. Draco gave a soft whimper, though felt like crying at the time. He hated this. Hated being touched, being tasted, kissed, and felt. He wanted to go back to Hogwarts, stay in his bed, cry. That's all. It left his mouth, and his body, and finally responded, "You will be a very, very worthy Death Eater, won't you, Draco?" Voldemort asked softly but menecingly.
"Y-yes. Yes, Lord." Draco said. And that was all that he said, before Voldemort walked out of the door with a sly, steady walk. Draco had made an unconcience decision at the time- He would never, ever, if his life depended on it, work for that creature, that- that monster...ever!
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Draco had told the whole story, about Voldemort, the kissing, and the touching. Harry hadn't interrupted one bit, not one word at all. Draco had told him how Voldemort tasted, felt, what happened- everything.
Looking back up at Harry, he relized he was staring at Draco as if he now understood everything. Draco looked back down, too empty in his heart to do anything else.
{I...I have to apologize to him. All these years, I've teased and ridiculed- all for a monster. A disgusting, and horrible monster. Poor Harry....God, I should have listened when he told me how horrible he really was. I should have listened, but I...}
"Harry.." Draco started, trying hard not to break eye contact. "Harry, I'm sorry....sorry for everything. It- It wasn't- I was just an ignorant child then- a confused, ignorant....child."
Draco's gaze wavered, waiting for Harry to respond. Atleast say anything. Reject his apology, anything!
"Glad you've grown up, then, Malfoy. Or- Draco." Harry slightly smiled, but frowned again. He closed his eyes, and sighed.
He opened his eyes back up, and they were staring intently, and seriously into Draco's silver ones. "But, please- please stop what you're doing to yourself. It isn't doing anything but causing you more pain. Causing- causing everyone else more pain." Harry relized.
Draco snorted, and muttered, "Yeah, like anyone cares for me, Potter. They don't, as much as they could try and prove it. They all hate me. They think I'm an insufferable git who can't stay out of other people's buissness."
Harry looked down. Draco was right- by a fraction.
"Draco...I'm not them." Harry stated. He looked up at Draco's gaze, and back down. Draco sighed, also looking down, not sure what to say.
Harry looked up at Draco's cast down glance, and without thinking, grazed Draco's cheek softly with his thumb, his other fingers under his chin, dragging his face upwards. Harry couldn't turn away from him. Not now.
Leaning in, Harry softly touched Draco's lips with his own, getting used to his smell. He smelled sweet, oddly reminding him of a mild form of syrup. Harry went onward. He deepened the kiss, leaning more into Draco's arms as he wrapped his arms around Draco's waist. Suddenly, Draco pulled away from the kiss.
"Stop- please, Harry. Stop." Draco abruptly said, ending the kiss, and the holding. "I- I can't do this. Please." He said afterwards. Harry dissapointadly nodded, and said after an enduring silence. "Ok, well...I-ll just- go then." Harry responded. He turned his back, picked up the invisibility cloak, and right before he put it over himself, Draco managed a sentence. "Bye, Potter. See you in potions tomorrow." Harry didn't turn, but managed a slight smile, and said, "Bye." and headed out.
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In the corridors, he thought about everything that had happened. God....It was slightly disturbing, but he had to do something. Something to help, anything. As much as he tried to not hold the grudge against Draco's past feedbacks, he couldn't help but not hate him just a bit. He had caused him so much pain, emberrasment to him and his friends. Harry Headed to the Gryffindor tower, all the while not getting caught.
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Wow, that was....Um, well...better than I thought I would have done. :) I hoped you all liked this chapter (aside from the, as I said in the last chapter, graphic disturbances, although I'm sure you all have read worse.) Please tell me if you liked it :) If not, then oh wells, it will help me (if you tell me what I did that you wouldn't have liked.) Also, the fourth chapter will be up soon :) I'd also like to appriciate some reviews I have gotten so far-
(Ch. 1)..Children,TheEmuIsNotAToy- whats a flame?please email me.Oh,I'll read ur story later.i can relate to it.its not easy being perfect*sighs* (Re: Lol, no it isn't easy being perfect :) By the way a flame is when someone tells you a very negative thing about your story without telling you the exact reason that they didn't like it.)
(Ch.1)..Nikoda Lynn Snape- I love this story. Although I am against Draco being a Deatheater. I love this story you need to write more. I would really like to read my stories too. They won't be as good as your's but I really try. (Re: Thank you! I'm also against Draco being a Death Eater. I've read a couple of your stories :) I liked the comedy one. Forgot what it was called, but I loved it! It was so funny! :) And about your's not being as good at mine, well, all I can say is don't put yourself down. In my opinion, you do pretty well. Atleast you made me howl in laughter, and almost made me cry it was so funny.)
(Ch. 2)..LadyBlondHair- Is Draco having eating disorders?? ?I hope so..I mean I don't think it's goos for people to have them but I have been waiting for someone to write about Draco haveing like anorexia or something like that... (Re: Yes, he has an eating disorder. I've always wondered how Draco kept so...I don't know. Small, I would say.)
(Ch. 2)..Nikoda Lynn Snape- I love it once again. I always knew Draco had a heart. People say I'm crazy for saying so. But we all have our thoughts. I love this story I hope you'll write more soon!!! (Re: As you can see above, I have :) I also believe he has a heart. Unfortunatly, I guess not alot of people who are Harry Potter fans see that. Thank you so much for the compliments! I hope you like the rest of it. )
Author's note: This is a kind of depressing fic, but it get's better in the end. Really, it does :) I guess you could call it a little bit of fluff mixed in there. Also, this does involve homosexual feelings between two teenage boys, so if you're offended, go somewhere else and read. (Harry/Draco pairing, Ron/Hermione, Hermione/Harry)
Copywrite: All of the characters are copywrite J.K Rowling and Warner Bros. I am not using this to gain money, or whatever, I am doing this for the entertainment of myself, and of course the readers :)
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Draco laid out on the grass, sprawled, his body disturbingly still. Harry turned back to where the thing had attacked, and looked around. He couldn't see it. Anywhere. All of a sudden, he heard a footstep behind him.
"Harrrryyyy...." It hissed antagonisingly. It's body of white mist came towards him at rapid speed, it hissing as loudly as it could go.
Harry's ears hurt him. His mind couldn't think. Sweat head formed over his whole body, and he noticed sound coming out of his mouth. He was screaming, trying to endure it's torturous screetching. After a few moments, he passed out.
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The light above his eyes was the first to awake Harry. His eyes fluttered, thought he didn't sit up. A deep voice was the first thing he heard, as he woke. Listening harder, he noticed the charming voice of Dumbledore. A voice responded. It was Madam Pomfrey.
"- although, I am very worried about Draco's condition." She replied, finishing a sentence Harry hadn't heard the first of.
"Yes, I know. Along with me. Draco is a good student, if not for his- connections. I will have a talk about it with him when he rocoveres from waking up."
Harry paused in thought, as Dumbledore left the room, scuffing his aged shoes along with him. {What is she worried about? What is he going to talk to Draco about? This doesn't make sense.} Harry thought in confusion. If only he had woke up a little bit before. He didn't want to awake to Pomfrey just yet, so he closed his eyes again. The silence had gotten unbearable. Falling deeper in his thoughts, Harry drifted off into another deep sleep.
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Awake again from Dumbledore, he listened as some sentences of his Headmaster tumbled out of his mouth, not making sense to Harry's not-yet- fully-awakened conciencness. Listening more closely, as well as more awakened, Harry kept his lids closed.
"Draco, I- I need to talk to you about something. You don't have to conform, if you don't want." Dumbledore mumbled out of his beard covered mouth.
"Yes, Headmaster?" Harry heard Draco respond in a softly weak voice.
"Draco we- Madam Pomfrey and I, have found- have found some markings on your wrists. Your weight is also very abnormal. Is there- is there anything you'd like to talk about?" Dumbledore hesitantly asked.
Harry pondered this for a second.{Markings, on his wrist? I wonder....Maybe the Dark Mark. But then again, he said 'Marking(s) with an S. And his weight,} Harry stopped in midsentence, as he already knew what Dumbledore meant by that. He knew what he had been hinting at.
Draco had paled at their discovery. No words had yet escaped his mouth. Draco had decided what he had to do. Nothing.
"No, Headmaster. I- I don't wish to talk about it." Draco's face turned away from Dumbledore's concerned gaze in his eyes.
"Are you sure, Draco?" Dumbledore asked, yet again.
Draco gritted his teeth, closed his eyes, still facing away from the silent interrogation. "Yes." He responded.
Dumbledore sighed, giving up, and scuffed out of the hospital wing. Harry found the chat between Dumbledore and Draco very intresting indeed. He wished they had atleast mentioned a little- more. Deciding it was time to wake up, he fluttered his eyes open. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Draco on the bed beside him, his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. Acting like he had just woke up, Harry sat up, and let out a quite an attention recieved yawn.
Draco looked over at Harry, frowning. "Finally you woke up." Draco responded to the rediculous yawn. Harry looked at Draco and nodded groggily. "How long have we been out?" Harry asked, acting oblivious to the conversation Draco had had before.
"About two days, Dumbledore says." Draco responded.
"Dumbledore was here?" Harry asked, pretending to be confused.
Draco looked at Harry for a longer moment, and snapped, "You're very bad at lying, Potter. Thought you should know that." Draco turned to look at the ceiling again, an expression of offendance upon his face. {How did he know...?} Harry thought agaze.
Harry sighed. {Well, since he already knows he was here and talking, I might as well ask him.} Harry thought.
"What did he mean?" Asked Harry thoughtlessly.
"Who?" Draco asked, forgetting about everything, before a thought hit him again about Dumbledore. "Oh, ya, him...Um..." He didn't know what to say. He really didn't. Did Harry know at all? {God, I hope he doesn't.} Draco thought horridly.
"He said something about Markings and your weight. Was it the Dark Mark he was talking about?" Harry asked, expectantly looking over at Draco for an answer.
"No, Potter, he wasn't talking about the Dark Mark!" Draco snapped at him. {How could he be so ignorant?} Draco thought to himself, fuming. "I don't want to talk about it, Potter." Draco responded after calming down, though still gritting his teeth. He turned on his back to avoid Harry's questioning gaze.
{Well, I best leave it at that, or I'll get yelled at again by the mighty Malfoy.} Harry thought sarcastically to himself. What is he hiding?
Pomfrey entered the room quietly, thinking Harry and Draco were asleep, but was surprised at them both fully wide awake.
"Ok, boys, you can go back to your dormitories, now."
Harry and Draco both got out of the hospital beds, and were heading toward the door, when Pomfrey added, "Oh, but Draco, you need to stay here a couple more minutes. I need to do some extra tests on you. Harry, go along now."
Draco grunted, and walked over defeatedly over to Madam Pomfrey. All the while, her going over what tests she was going to do.
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Harry hurried to his dormitory. He knew it was morning, as windows he had passed had shown the sun peaking over the horizon in the east. Ron should be asleep, as well as Seamus and the others.
Sneaking quietly in, he shut the door, and headed over to his trunk. Clicking it open, he reached to the bottom, and clutched the ever enduring invisibility cloak. Smiling smugly to himself, he then heard Ron moan a little in his sleep, and heard him mutter, "Harry....harry, is't you?" Before Ron could find out if it really was Harry, he stormed out of the dormitory, and into the halls. He had to catch Draco going to his dormitory, sneak in to the Slytherin portrait without Draco's knowledge, and follow him. He had to find out what those markings were. He always dismissed the muggle saying, 'Curiosity killed the cat.' In this case, Harry didn't believe it killed, he believed it put the cat in very, very huge danger.
A glint of blonde hair and pale face had attracted Harry's attention, and he turned. Draco was heading towards his way to the Slytherin portrait.
"Reaks of rats." Draco said, and the potrait swung open, Harry following close behind, yet not too close as to be found out. {Reaks of rats? That is the wierdest password I have ever heard.} Harry thought to himself. The Slytherin common room was cold, even though the fire was lit. Maybe the Slytherin's cold attitudes and stares they could give in here had chilled up the room.
Trailing up the stairs behind Draco, they came to a room, and Draco walked in just as quietly. Walking to his bed, he sat down, and layed staring up at the ceiling. Unfortunatly, this was all Harry had to do. Watch, and wait. He was here to gain some knowledge, damnit, not sit and stare!
Draco pulled the curtains, and Harry noticed that he was near Draco, near his bed. Harry cringed at the thought of what Draco had done to him all these past years. It was morbidly disturbing that he would even think that he would follow the little ferret to his bed area with his own free will.
Draco pulled off his black robes, and pulled aside the curtians, heading for the shower. Harry was left standing under the invisibility cloak, and sighed when he heard the door close, and the sound of a shower running. He sat down on the bed, and uncovered his head. This was going to be a long night.
About 15 minutes later, Draco walked back into the curtains, luckily not naked. That would be a difficult sight to see.
He had boxers on them, that, not surprisingly, had his name all over them. Harry tried his best to keep his laugh in, and keep his cover. He had stood back up and put the invisibility cloak over his head before Draco had even opened the curtains before, of course. He didn't have a shirt on, so their wasn't much to miss of his- his wrists.
Harry looked down from Draco's face, and paced to his wrists. They had scabbed over gashes on them, horribly deep. Alot of them. They would most likely leave a scar. As much as Harry wanted, he couldn't ask the question that gagged his mind.
He wanted so desperatly to ask, 'Malfoy, do you cut yourself?' But he kept quiet. Very quiet. Draco stepped out of the curtains again, and Harry stepped out as well being careful not to make any sound. Walking over to where Draco stood, he noticed that he stood over a scale. A weight scale. It read- '87 Ibs.'
{....Oh gods This isn't right.} Harry stared at the scale longer, and noticed that he was correct. 87. Draco shouldn't have weighed that much. For his height and his muscle that quidditch had formed on him, this just didn't conform.
Draco, staring down at the scale, muttered, "Damn. Gained two pounds. Stupid Pomfrey stuck that needle in me. Thought she could feed me like a little baby. I don't need it. I don't need any of it." Harry had to really listen, and luckily had caught this confession.
Draco was sick. Awefully, and morbidly- sick.
Following Draco back to his bed, he watched- watched, and waited to see what was to result. Then, he saw it.
The glittery piece of metal that potruded from a secret place under his bed. Draco, holding it up, frowned, and brought it slowly to his skin. {Why do I do this?} Draco thought to himself, laying the metal to his skin, but since distracted from thought, didn't move his hand. {Why have I started this? It's not- not normal. If anyone else knew about this, they would think I was a crazy homocidal lunatic....} He started having second thoughts again, like every time he had done this. He refocused his attention back to what he was doing.
Harry watched in slight shock at what he knew Draco was about to do. He held the blade up a little, and came down. Right before he hit the skin, Harry decided to stop this.
"No!" Harry shouted. A slight worry shook at waking the others, but it was put to the side rather quickly.
Draco had jumped at Harry shouting, and stared at Harry in shock. In utter, total shock. He was gaping, and quivering at the same time. Gulping, Harry finally let out a stuttered word. "D-don't." Harry eyed Draco frantically.
"How the hell did you get in here?!" Draco whispered loudly, meaning it would have been a scream if he didn't have others in the room sleeping.
"I- I- invisibility cloak." Was all Harry said. It's all he really could say.
There was an odd, very tense, but very odd silence that had poked its head through at that moment. It was a silence that was not appreciated right at the moment.
Draco took his head between his hands, and looked down, lookd away from Harry. He couldn't handle this. Not now. Not yet. He knew he would ask questions.
"Why?" Harry asked the one worded question.
Draco's silver gaze met up with Harry's, and he asked again. "Why do you do this?" It sounded more of an accusation this time.
"I- I don't know, ok?!" Draco snapped, his voice tight and rough. He was looking back down. Draco decided to continue. To hell with what Harry thought. Maybe he would find a little about himself with his forced confession. "I...I do it because whenever I do...I feel a release. I can't explain it Harry, it's- It's different than crying, or anything else. It's like I'm somewhere else, somewhere peaceful. Somewhere I don't have to be bossed around, told where my life has to go. I saw Voldomort over winter vacation last week...."
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~FLASHBACK~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Draco entered the Malfoy Manor, expecting the presents to be piled atop in his personal room. He ran into the long corridor, past the door of his mother and fathers room, and raced up the stairs. He stopped, midway, as a recognizable figure loomed overhead.
"Hello Draco." It was his father, Lucius Malfoy. He was staring down at Draco, a mischevious smile spread on his face.
"H-hello father." Draco sputtered out. He didn't want to talk to his father right now. He was too happy. He was in a good mood.
"Draco, I want you to see one of your presents, up in your room." Lucius added. He walked slowly, Draco following behind obediantly.
"Such a good boy, Draco. You'll make a fine death eater some day." His father grinned behind his shoulder at Draco, Draco smiling falsely back.
They had reached the door to his room, and Lucius opened the door for his blonde-haired son to enter.
Draco entered. In the corner of his room, he saw a creature that he had never seen before. It was rather ugly. It turned it's eyes toward Draco, and the creatures gaze struck Draco's heart and soul and body into fear. Fear like he had never known.
"Lucius, Leave us." It hissed loudly. "Yes, Lord, of course." Lucius said hesitantly, frowning. At the time, Draco had noticed the trademark 'Lord'. His father would never call anyone that, other than-
"You do know who I am, don't you, Draco?" Draco nodded fearfully, understandingly. This creature, this thing- Voldemort. It was disgusting. It slithered it's way into people's hearts through fear, made them shrink against their will.
"Don't nod at me, boy, Speak!" It yelled contently.
"Yes, y-yes, um- Your the Dark Lord. I'm- honored sir. Honestly. I was just so- so surprised at seeing your great presence without being told." Draco lied. He really had expected to see Voldemort during the summer, not now. Not during the holidays.
"Good. Come here, boy." It spoke, softly, and silently threatening.
Draco inched closer. It's finger kept pulling inwards, pushing Draco to come nearer. With every step he took, it filled in him. The fear, the thoughts of death racing through his head. His eyes were filled with panic, though he tried his hardest not to show it. Draco was about half a foot away from Voldemort, when it spoke to him. "Don't worry- It's never when people aren't awed at my presence." Draco almost gagged on his breath. It was like rotting flesh. If he hadn't guessed already so, he would have sworn he was a full fledged canibal.
"If I might ask, Lord, why- why have you come earlier than expected?" Draco asked, not meeting the Dark Lord's peircing snake eyes.
"Because.....I wanted to see you before you were marked over the summer...I wanted to see if you were as worthy as your father, Lucius, says you are." It hissed, yet again. It's finger brought Draco's face and gaze up. Draco was then forced to look into his eyes.
"You're so beautiful, you know that?" It hissed loudly near his ear, seducing him into trust. Draco wasn't fooled. He already knew that this- this monster. It was different from the stories he had heard about him. He had heard power, greatness, success, and lots of other worthy applauding things, but- now, when he looked at it, at it's seducing glare, it's horrible breath, and just everything about it, it made Draco want to wretch.
Still staring into his eyes, Voldemort leaned near Draco, and licked the side of his cheek with his tounge. Draco shivered, feeling the slimy snake tounge slide over his cheek. It was gross, morbidly disgusting. He wanted to push it away, run, run as far as the lands and hills could go. It then got close to his mouth, and kissed him. This was the worst kiss he had ever had. Unfortunatly, it was the first kiss he had ever recieved.
Draco was forced to let it's tounge enter. The horrible smell and taste intruded upon his mouth and nostrils, but he was too stricken with fear and shock to object. He felt Voldemort slide his hand down to his genatils, and squeeze. Draco gave a soft whimper, though felt like crying at the time. He hated this. Hated being touched, being tasted, kissed, and felt. He wanted to go back to Hogwarts, stay in his bed, cry. That's all. It left his mouth, and his body, and finally responded, "You will be a very, very worthy Death Eater, won't you, Draco?" Voldemort asked softly but menecingly.
"Y-yes. Yes, Lord." Draco said. And that was all that he said, before Voldemort walked out of the door with a sly, steady walk. Draco had made an unconcience decision at the time- He would never, ever, if his life depended on it, work for that creature, that- that monster...ever!
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~FLASHBACK END~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Draco had told the whole story, about Voldemort, the kissing, and the touching. Harry hadn't interrupted one bit, not one word at all. Draco had told him how Voldemort tasted, felt, what happened- everything.
Looking back up at Harry, he relized he was staring at Draco as if he now understood everything. Draco looked back down, too empty in his heart to do anything else.
{I...I have to apologize to him. All these years, I've teased and ridiculed- all for a monster. A disgusting, and horrible monster. Poor Harry....God, I should have listened when he told me how horrible he really was. I should have listened, but I...}
"Harry.." Draco started, trying hard not to break eye contact. "Harry, I'm sorry....sorry for everything. It- It wasn't- I was just an ignorant child then- a confused, ignorant....child."
Draco's gaze wavered, waiting for Harry to respond. Atleast say anything. Reject his apology, anything!
"Glad you've grown up, then, Malfoy. Or- Draco." Harry slightly smiled, but frowned again. He closed his eyes, and sighed.
He opened his eyes back up, and they were staring intently, and seriously into Draco's silver ones. "But, please- please stop what you're doing to yourself. It isn't doing anything but causing you more pain. Causing- causing everyone else more pain." Harry relized.
Draco snorted, and muttered, "Yeah, like anyone cares for me, Potter. They don't, as much as they could try and prove it. They all hate me. They think I'm an insufferable git who can't stay out of other people's buissness."
Harry looked down. Draco was right- by a fraction.
"Draco...I'm not them." Harry stated. He looked up at Draco's gaze, and back down. Draco sighed, also looking down, not sure what to say.
Harry looked up at Draco's cast down glance, and without thinking, grazed Draco's cheek softly with his thumb, his other fingers under his chin, dragging his face upwards. Harry couldn't turn away from him. Not now.
Leaning in, Harry softly touched Draco's lips with his own, getting used to his smell. He smelled sweet, oddly reminding him of a mild form of syrup. Harry went onward. He deepened the kiss, leaning more into Draco's arms as he wrapped his arms around Draco's waist. Suddenly, Draco pulled away from the kiss.
"Stop- please, Harry. Stop." Draco abruptly said, ending the kiss, and the holding. "I- I can't do this. Please." He said afterwards. Harry dissapointadly nodded, and said after an enduring silence. "Ok, well...I-ll just- go then." Harry responded. He turned his back, picked up the invisibility cloak, and right before he put it over himself, Draco managed a sentence. "Bye, Potter. See you in potions tomorrow." Harry didn't turn, but managed a slight smile, and said, "Bye." and headed out.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
In the corridors, he thought about everything that had happened. God....It was slightly disturbing, but he had to do something. Something to help, anything. As much as he tried to not hold the grudge against Draco's past feedbacks, he couldn't help but not hate him just a bit. He had caused him so much pain, emberrasment to him and his friends. Harry Headed to the Gryffindor tower, all the while not getting caught.
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Wow, that was....Um, well...better than I thought I would have done. :) I hoped you all liked this chapter (aside from the, as I said in the last chapter, graphic disturbances, although I'm sure you all have read worse.) Please tell me if you liked it :) If not, then oh wells, it will help me (if you tell me what I did that you wouldn't have liked.) Also, the fourth chapter will be up soon :) I'd also like to appriciate some reviews I have gotten so far-
(Ch. 1)..Children,TheEmuIsNotAToy- whats a flame?please email me.Oh,I'll read ur story later.i can relate to it.its not easy being perfect*sighs* (Re: Lol, no it isn't easy being perfect :) By the way a flame is when someone tells you a very negative thing about your story without telling you the exact reason that they didn't like it.)
(Ch.1)..Nikoda Lynn Snape- I love this story. Although I am against Draco being a Deatheater. I love this story you need to write more. I would really like to read my stories too. They won't be as good as your's but I really try. (Re: Thank you! I'm also against Draco being a Death Eater. I've read a couple of your stories :) I liked the comedy one. Forgot what it was called, but I loved it! It was so funny! :) And about your's not being as good at mine, well, all I can say is don't put yourself down. In my opinion, you do pretty well. Atleast you made me howl in laughter, and almost made me cry it was so funny.)
(Ch. 2)..LadyBlondHair- Is Draco having eating disorders?? ?I hope so..I mean I don't think it's goos for people to have them but I have been waiting for someone to write about Draco haveing like anorexia or something like that... (Re: Yes, he has an eating disorder. I've always wondered how Draco kept so...I don't know. Small, I would say.)
(Ch. 2)..Nikoda Lynn Snape- I love it once again. I always knew Draco had a heart. People say I'm crazy for saying so. But we all have our thoughts. I love this story I hope you'll write more soon!!! (Re: As you can see above, I have :) I also believe he has a heart. Unfortunatly, I guess not alot of people who are Harry Potter fans see that. Thank you so much for the compliments! I hope you like the rest of it. )