Disclaimer: Don't own anything…alias belongs to j j abrams. Madeline belongs to…someone that's not me and I only used her cause there's a Nikita marathon (yay!) in two days…wait, no 1 day…it's past midnight…WAY past midnight…
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Have you ever really tried to hide your feelings? To force yourself to outwardly show no emotions when on the inside they're tearing you apart? That's what being a spy is. And it's not an easy thing to do. Believe me, it's really not. Do you want to know what a day is like in my life? Well I'll tell you.
6:30am; wake up, dress, go for an early run.
6:45am; shower and change
7:10; get paged by Sloane, lie to Francie, grab an instant breakfast thingy and go to work
7:45; briefing for latest SD-6 mission, hide my hatred for Sloane, and my disgust at what I have to do to bring down SD-6
12:03pm; meet with Vaughn, resist any temptations that being in a room with him might bring about. Act like I don't have feelings for him. I can watch as he does the same.
1pm; Briefly talk to dad on the way to see mom. Fight back the years of suppressed emotions that I always feel when I speak to the man I call my father
1:05; While I speak to my mother I realize another thing my parents have in common; the ability to bring painful memories to mind by just being in their presence. As I look at her I'm suddenly reminded of all the times I spent as a child crying over the loss of a mother who wasn't even really dead.
1:30; Tell more lies to Francie—it always kills me to do so. Then go and lie to Will—he may know what I do now, but that doesn't mean I want to risk his life further by letting him know everything I have to do
7:28, somewhere in Europe; Wake up tied to a chair and find a woman that is strangely reminiscent of Madeline from La Femme Nikita staring down at me, obviously with various means of torture in mind
7:28, still; Remember just how I got to where I am…a piece of advice, if you're ever on a mission for a highly lethal intelligence agency, never let your guard down. Not even for a second.
7:29; Attempt to hold back tears and cries of pain as the Madeline double tries to get me to spill any info on SD-6. It's hard to be strong when it you're in excruciating pain.
1am; Try to sleep. I'd tell you how I managed to get free from my captors, but it's all such a blur now. Tried to sleep on the plane back to LA, but was in too much pain. I can finally relax now. Thank God for painkillers.
6:30am; wake up and start all over again.
So if anyone thinks spying sounds like fun, your wrong. I mean honestly, have you ever really tried to hide your feelings?
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A/N: this fic just came to me while I was re-reading A Heart's Cry by Raven, which is one of the best stories I've ever read. I was in the middle of it when I realized that I've developed a strange inability to cry, which I normally do at stories that are sooo sad. Then, this came to me. Oh, btw, if anyone didn't like it, too bad. It's almost 5am and I can't sleep and that's my excuse for this story ; )