Autumn
By: Killua K.
A rurouni kenshin fanfiction story...
"Shut up!"
"No, you shut up, jerk!"
"Really? Well, get the hell out of here. I don't need you here, foxy! I can heal by myself."
The door opened and Yahiko came in with Tsubame. They saw Megumi staring angrily down on the bed-ridden Sanosuke. He has been ill for four days and still he couldn't be cured.Yahiko laughed loudly and even Tsubame.
"Oh, I see there is a LOVE QUARREL here! Gomenasai, we interrupted you," Yahiko teased them.
Tsubame smiled broadly and looked at the two elders. They both blushed then turned away from each other.
"Actually, it's a war that's going on not a petty quarrel that you say, Yahiko-chan. Well, I believe that you still have courting to do with little Tsubame, right?" Megumi sarcastically said as she looked at Yahiko. He blushed then scratched his head shamely.
"Well...I think..." he spoke. He looked at Tsubame then smiled. Suddenly, she pulled his arm then quickly drove themselves away from the room. Megumi looked back at the scowling Sanosuke. She kicked his side and hurt him. He screamed loudly then eyed her.
"What are you doing? Are you crazy?!" he cried at her.
She shook her head and laughed at him. "From now on, since you're still not well, you'll follow my orders WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!" she yelled then went to door. She opened it then slammed it angrily and left. Sano held his side and rolled over to the other side of the bed and moaned.
Megumi went downstairs and saw Kaoru sitting on the floor and looking outside. She went down quietly then followed her gaze.
The Fox Lady saw Kenshin playing with the two little girls. She could sense how Kaoru admired the way Kenshin treated the girls.
Megumi smiled then sat beside her.
Kaoru was surprised as she looked at her. She blushed then lowered her eyes.
"Megumi...why are you here? I-I thought Sano needs you," she said but her voice barely came out.
Megumi looked at her and grinned. "That bastard is ruining my day so I left him upstairs. I even kicked his side!" she laughed proudly. Kaoru chuckled a bit too then turned her gaze to Kenshin again. He was running around and the two girls tried to catch him.
"You like him?" Megumi suddenly spoke.
She was shocked at her question. Her eyes widened and she blushed.
"No...of course not! I-I was just checking the girls and how...Kenshin...took care of them," she told her. Her lips barely smiled when she spoke his name. She lowered her eyes and tried to hide her feelings for the man.
Megumi saw how she acted and spoke. She was very sure that Kaoru really liked him. Just by looking at her eyes or speaking about him, anyone could really comprehend what she's feeling for him. She grinned widely at the thought.
"You can't lie to me, Kaoru-chan. I can see it in your eyes the glitter when you speak his name. I advise you tell me about it. I'm a woman too and I know how someone falls in love," she said half- teasing.
Kaoru looked at her and smiled sweetly. "Are you sure I like him?" she asked. Megumi shrugged then put her arm around her.
"I don't know. You are the one who's feeling it. But I think you like him," she said.
Suddenly, Kenshin came and stood in front of them. He was smiling at the women. The girls were holding his hands and chatting.
"Hi, Megumi-san! Hi, Kaoru-dono!" he greeted warmly. The women smiled at him. Kaoru blushed and her eyes sparkled as she stared at him. Kenshin noticed it then.
"Why are you blushing, Kaoru-dono? And it seems that you're so happy today," he suddenly said.
Kaoru quickly lowered her head and mentally urged Megumi to speak for her.
"Uh..? She's just so happy, Kenshin!" Megumi said.
Kenshin sat beside Kaoru and lifted her chin by his gentle hand. He looked at her eyes as she blushed.
"Is there someone special in your heart? I can see that you're...well...you look like falling in love with someone," he asked innocently.
Kaoru was shocked then she held his hand and removed it from her chin. "It's none of your business, Kenshin! You don't care!" she shouted at him.
He was really surprised at what she said. Megumi tried to stop Kaoru from acting hysterically.
"What's wrong, Kaoru-chan?" she whispered.
Suddenly, she saw some tears rolling down on her face.
Kenshin noticed it too and was startled. Kaoru suddenly, stood up and left both of them. She rushed upstairs to her room and avoided them. Kenshin tried to follow her but Megumi stopped him.
"It's useless, Kenshin. You've hurt her," she said. He looked at her then sat down.
"Have I said something wrong? I just told her she looks like she's falling in love, but is she?" he asked eagerly.
Megumi smiled at him. "I think. But the man doesn't know. He doesn't even understand how a woman feels when she's falling in love. I bet he doesn't like her," she replied trying to avoid revealing the important details to him. He was stunned for a while.
"Who...who is t-this man?" he asked as he trembled. He felt something that struck his heart. It was something painful when he heard that Kaoru was falling in love with someone.
"Why do you need to know?" she asked him. He turned his eyes away and felt confused. He knew he didn't really have the right to know but he felt something that urged him to ask the name of the man. He felt something painful. He felt...jealous.
Right. Jealous was the word to describe his feeling but actually he didn't know why.
"Well... I'm her friend remember? Of course I need to know. I'm concerned about her feelings too," he replied.
Megumi looked at the sky and appreciated the color that it reflected from the morning sky. She smiled widely then looked back at him.
"No man should ever know what a woman feels for him, Kenshin. It humiliates us," she spoke as she stood up.
"What do you mean?" he asked again. Suddenly, she realized that she was almost revealing Kaoru's feeling for him.
"Ooops! Sorry, I have to go," she said suddenly as she left him there.
Kenshin then cupped his face and looked at the trees around him. It was autumn and leaves started to turn to autumn color. They started to fall on the ground. As he looked at the leaves, he sighed and thought about what Megumi told him earlier.
Kaoru sighed and then cupped her face with her cold hands. She looked at the mirror and saw herself. She looked tired and worn-out. She inhaled deeply then pictured Kenshin's face.
I like him...really. But I don't want him to know what I'm feeling for him even if I have to sacrifice. If he knew, he would just reject my love and he'd hurt me painfully. That's the worst thing I don't want to happen to myself. If I have to hide my feelings, I'll do it even if it hurts, she thought sadly.
Tears fell from her eyes and she wiped them away by her hand. She sat on her futon then cried softly. She started to breathe with lapses. And she began to cry harder. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. She thought it was Megumi. Her vision became blurry and she didn't clearly see who it was but she knew it was Megumi.
She slid the door open then quickly embraced the person in front of the door.
"He doesn't understand me...I haven't done anything wrong, Megumi. Why is he doing this to me? I love him but...he doesn't feel the same way for me. What will I do?" she cried as she buried her face on the person's shoulder. She felt warmer and protected. Suddenly, she felt arms around her waist. And caressed her back. She cried harder.
"I think he doesn't have to know this, Megumi...he'll just reject me and he'll hurt me so much. I-I-I don't...want that to happen to me," she cried again.
She then removed her arms around the person and wiped her tears by her hands. When her vision became clear, she smiled. She looked at the person in front of her. She noticed that this Megumi wore red kimono and she even saw a sword beside her. She chuckled.
"What's got into you, Megumi? You look funny...Are you trying to mimic," she lifted her eyes and was surprised to see Kenshin smiling and standing before her.
"Kenshin?!" she cried-shocked. "What are you...you doing here? Where's Megumi?" she asked as she blushed with shame.
Her earlier words ran through her mind. She remembered all the things she told him earlier because she thought he was Megumi. She covered her mouth and shook her head. "What have I done?" she whispered to herself. It's good I haven't told him that I'm in love with him. And it means that he was the one who embraced me, she thought.
Kenshin held her arms and looked at her gently. "I was trying to tell you that I'm Kenshin and not Megumi but you kept on crying and you even embraced me," he said. "By the way, lunch is ready. C'mon now," he spoke. He held her hand and led her to the dining room.
They reached it and sat in front of the table. They started eating while Kaoru just stared at her food.
"Why are you not eating, Ms. Kaoru? Kenshin cooked the food and they're very delicious," Yahiko asked as he gulped his bowl of soup. Kaoru looked at him then stood up.
"I'm not hungry yet. Now if you may excuse me." Kenshin held her hand and stared at her eyes.
"Kaoru- dono, what's the problem?" he asked. She angrily let go of her hand and eyed him.
"It's none of your business, Kenshin," she replied harshly as she left them there.
She stood beside the running water and inhaled a generous amount of air. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears and turned red. She wiped them by her fingertips then cried again.
I'm so afraid he might reject me if I tell him the truth. I just have no courage to face it or to realize the pain that it will bring to me afterwards. What will I do with this thing? Do I really have to tell him? If I won't tell him, it will cause me so much pain. But if he rejects me, it will cause thrice the pain I will feel when I won't tell him, she thought. She couldn't think of any solution to her dilemma. She didn't know what to do. The pain started to form in her heart. She didn't know now if she could still look at Kenshin or even say his name.
Flashback:
"Who is Tomoe?" Kaoru asked him. He looked at her and grinned sadly.
"She was my wife. But she died. I couldn't forgive myself about it," he answered.
"Why? It's not your fault," she protested.
He shook his head then looked up at the beautiful sky. It was night yet the moon rose proudly and the clouds reflected its light. "I accidentally killed her," he spoke. Her eyes widened in shock as she heard his words.
"God...I'm so sorry I opened up this topic...I-I didn't know that you were the one who killed...her," she whispered as she felt tears form in her eyes. She looked at him and noticed that he was so quiet and sad. He suddenly stared at her.
"I know... It's all right. Besides, it's past. I won't ever love again so I won't be hurt anymore. It's hard for me to lose someone you loved so much in your life. And I think I shouldn't ever open my heart again for other women. I'm afraid to be hurt. It's so much for me to take," he explained. His words rang in her mind.
He won't ever give himself another chance for commitment...that means I cannot love him, she thought.
End of Flashback:
"Right...I shouldn't love him. I was really very right not to tell him my feelings. He will absolutely reject me," she told herself many times. She cried again.
Cold breeze blew and sent chills to her body. Leaves fell from the branches of the trees and littered the whole place. Autumn was now here. It was getting cold and the smell of sweet apples and peaches filled the air. This season was supposed to be the happiest of them all but now...it turned to be the saddest for Kaoru. Because it was when she knew that the man she loved would never love her back.
"Stop moving so much! You'll spill these herbs," Megumi cried at Sanosuke who was still holding his side because of Megumi's kick earlier.
"Well, stop yelling at me, fox lady! If you want me to stop, be gentle enough," he complained. She eyed him angrily then slammed the bowl on the table beside her.
"I'm being gentle to you but you're being so stubborn! Stop acting like a brat, Sanosuke Sagara! You're a man now. Grow up!" she cried at him. He raised his left eyebrow then sat up to level his eyes to hers.
"Who cares? If you're tired of me, then leave at once. I don't need anyone here taking care of me as if I can't take care myself," he snapped.
She scowled then planted her hands on her hips. Her lips were trembling with anger. "Well, let me remind you that your friends asked me to tend you! I didn't really want to cure you. I know you'd just cause me so much trouble and headache. And if you don't want everybody to think that you're helpless, learn to take care of yourself! And stop acting like a gangster in the town, always out to make trouble!" she yelled.
He scowled too then frowned disgustingly. He focused his eyes on her. But for the first time, he felt something weird. He felt like he wanted to smile and embrace Megumi because she took care of him. He didn't know why but he was sure that it felt better than fighting with her. Unfortunately, Megumi continued yelling at him. An idea came into his mind to stop the garrulous lady in front of him. He grinned at the thought.
"What are you smiling at? Are you teasing me?" she cried. Suddenly, he held her chin and claimed her lips with his own. He kissed her passionately and his tongue probed in her mouth. She kissed him back then slid her arms around his neck. Soon, tears fell from her eyes as she began to realize that she was falling in love with the man she hated most. It was so awkward but it didn't matter. They continued to kiss until...
"Hey, what do you think you are doing?" a voice broke in. They lost contact on each other and quickly turned their eyes to the door. They were surprised to see Yahiko looking at them and smiling sarcastically.
"Yahiko?" They both cried. He looked at them and laughed.
"I just heard you fighting earlier so I came and to check you, guys. But...I didn't know you were kissing each other," he said.
Megumi and Sano blushed tremendously. She lowered her head while he scratched his and looked at the ceiling.
"Well, bye..." Yahiko said as he left them.
Soon, silence enveloped them. They were still blushing. Suddenly, Sano had the courage to speak.
"I'm sorry, Megumi." he paused. He realized he had just said her true name. She looked at him then suddenly smiled.
"Oh, Sano...I love you," she told him as she hugged him tightly. He was shocked but then he realized that he was in love too. He embraced her too then caressed her body by his hands. He noticed that it felt warm and easing.
"I love you too, Megumi," he spoke.
Kenshin sat on the porch and thought about Kaoru. He was really wondering why she's acting weirdly since morning.
Is she really falling in love with someone? He thought sadly. "But who could it be?" he asked himself.
How about me? Am I falling in love with someone? I know I'm not ready yet. I can't love anymore after what happened to Tomoe. I will just hurt that woman and she will never accept my past as Battousai the slasher. I wonder if Kaoru-dono will accept it though. She's a very kind woman and she deserves a better man than I am. If ever she falls in love with me...he thought.
Suddenly, he felt weird. Why was he hoping that Kaoru would fall in love with him? Besides she's falling in love with someone right now and she's definitely angry with him. Was he able to accept now what happened to Tomoe? Was he ready to open up his heart again and love another woman?
Maybe, he thought. He was beginning to tremble at his thoughts. He wasn't experiencing that kind of feeling before with Kaoru. It was so odd. He didn't know what to call it. But...could it be love? Suddenly, he shook. He was trembling and he felt his heart beating quickly.
No! I don't want to love anymore! This is too much for me, he cried at himself. But if given a chance to love again...he would surely choose Kaoru as the woman he'd lay his own life. He sighed. He was getting afraid at his thoughts.
Kaoru...Kaoru...Kaoru...her name repeated in his mind. He was falling in love, he thought.
Ever since before he stayed in her dojo, he fell in love with her. He knew she understood his horrible past and she cared for him so much. Maybe it was time to love her back. Tomoe was a different woman. She never understood him. But Kaoru...this woman loved him more than he expected. Maybe it was really time to forget his past and live in the present with a new love.
"I will tell her. No matter what happens. I love her," he told himself. Then with a new hope, he stood up and tried to find Kaoru and tell her how he felt for her.
"Good evening, Kaoru-chan. Why aren't you sleeping yet?" Megumi asked as she came down the stairs with a bowl in her hands. She was smiling sweetly and her eyes sparkled with joy. Kaoru sighed then buried her face in her hands.
"Megumi...I'm afraid I have to stop loving Kenshin. I don't want him to reject me. It will just hurt me so much," she spoke.
Megumi approached her and then sat beside her. She placed the bowl on the table and caressed her back. She inhaled deeply and grinned broadly. "Why, Kaoru-chan?" she asked.
Kaoru started to weep. She leaned her head on her shoulder. Tears kept on falling down from her eyes.
"He will reject me...It's hard to accept that he never loved me. He just treats me as a friend...what's worse, his feelings for me won't ever change," she explained. Megumi gathered her in her arms and comforted her. She hushed her.
"How can you be sure? You never know...he might open his heart only for you, Kaoru-chan. Why don't you take the risk?" she whispered. She looked up at her with tear-stricken face. She wiped her tears with her fingertips and frowned.
"If I tell him, he'll surely..."
"...Tell her that he loves her."
The two women turned their eyes to the door and saw a silhouette of a man. The shadow came closer and neared them both. Suddenly, Megumi smiled. She slowly let go of Kaoru and then stood up.
"Megumi...where are you going?" Kaoru asked as she turned her eyes to Megumi. She smiled then patted her shoulder.
"I'm going to Sanosuke. By the way, have I told you that we're lovers now?" she said, still smiling.
Kaoru's eyes widened. She couldn't believe it. But before she could speak, Megumi left her with the man in the shadows. She lowered her eyes and continued crying. She thought about Kenshin and how he would act if she told him her feelings.
"Are you done crying? Because I'm a little bit tired standing here. May I sit beside you?" the shadow asked politely. She nodded her head and didn't mind it coming towards her. She just lowered her eyelids and didn't look at it. At the side of her eyes, she could make out a form of man with long pony-tailed hair. Instantly, she knew that it was Kenshin. She sighed then wiped her tears away.
"What do you want, Kenshin? I'm a little bit exhausted you know. Why don't you stay with the others upstairs?" she asked sadly, fighting the pain she's feeling.
She inhaled deeply and then cried softly again. Kenshin held her chin and lifted her head. He looked into her sad eyes and wiped the tears. He brushed away the hair covering her face and tucked them behind her ear.
"You look...so beautiful, Kaoru-dono. Why haven't I noticed your pretty face before when you're in my arms and sleeping soundly?" he asked.
Suddenly, for the first time of the day, she trembled with fear and uncertainty because of his words. She looked at his pretty violet haze eyes and kept memorizing every inch and feature of his face. The scar twitched a bit. She lifted her hand and slowly touched his scar. He was shocked at what she did. But it didn't cause him any pain, instead a feeling of warmth and happiness because of her touch.
Now he understood. He really was healed from the past and it was because of this woman in front of him admiring him the way he was and accepting his horrible past. Truly, she was very different from Tomoe or any other women. And it was really a wise decision to love her back and protect her just the way she did for him when he was in trouble.
He smiled sweetly at her and held her soft cheek by his hand. The warmth and softness of her face eased his callused hands. He just wished the feeling would last forever and she would be with him.
"Kaoru-dono...do you love me?" he suddenly asked. She was frightened at his words. She feared that this would be the time that he'd reject her.
"I...don't know," she replied painfully. He was shocked at her answer. But suddenly, he remembered what she told Megumi earlier. She was afraid to tell him, because he might reject her feelings for him. He smiled again then brought her face closer to him.
"Don't be afraid, Kaoru-dono. Tell me the truth. I promise you that I won't reject you this time. You have had enough pain and I couldn't take that I will be the reason you'd suffer so much. I'm healed now from my past. I just need someone to love again," he said tenderly.
"What do you mean?" she asked as tears began to fall from her eyes.
"I'm ready...to love you, Kaoru-dono. Just tell me you love me too," he whispered.
Suddenly, her heart began to pound quickly. She began to smile and cry at the same time because of his words. She held his face by her hands and caressed it while she cried.
"Are...are you-sure, Kenshin?" she asked as she trembled. She smiled as she looked at him. He held her face too and brought it closer this time. His breath damped her lips.
"Yes, Kaoru-dono...Ai shiteru," he said.
She smiled widely and cried hard because of the joy that she felt. She suddenly, embraced him. She encircled her arms around his neck and cried. "Ai shiteru, Kenshin. I've waited for this for a very long time. I thought you would reject me," she cried.
He embraced her too and put his arms around her slim waist. She felt warm and it made him so complete. "I'm so sorry if I never opened my heart before too. I was just too afraid that I'd lose you again if I'd love you. So I tried to convince myself that I won't love again. But when, I thought about it again and again, I realized I have fallen in love for a very long time and...it is you, Kaoru-dono. It is you," he said as he hugged her tightly.
She smiled and continued to cry. She hugged him closer. "I love you too, Kenshin," she said. Suddenly, Kenshin let go of her and kissed her lips. He pressed it on hers and lingered it there. He kissed her deeply and passionately as he embraced her while she accepted it whole-heartedly. Suddenly, the others saw what they were doing and chuckled softly. Yahiko stared at the kissing couple and smiled.
"I guess, autumn's not bad at all," he spoke. Then the night ended.
Owari
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