CAN'T LET YOU GO
BY CREASSYA
This takes place after I Miss You. While Chandler and Monica try their best to deal with the breakup, the gang is preparing for Phoebe's wedding to Samuel, a co-worker and good friend of Chandler's. Chandler and Monica now have to see each other more being that they're both in the wedding.
When I walk into Monica and Rachel's apartment, Monica walks out of her room. The other night she had requested to be alone. She didn't want any phone calls or visitors. After seeing Chandler for the first time in six months, she became a little rattled. Rachel had told me that she was crying. I was a little hesitant to come over today to see her in the same condition Rachel saw her in, but I have a wedding to plan. I can't tell by looking at her now that she's sad or upset. She walks over to me as I take my seat at the kitchen table.
"Is that it?" She asks.
"Yep."
"Before we start discussing the wedding, I need to know how you're feeling."
"I'm fine."
"You seem fine."
"Really, I'm okay. I'm tired of talking about me. Let's talk about this wedding."
"Okay."
I turn to page 40 to reveal my wedding dress.
"Phoebe…it's beautiful. I still can't believe you're getting married," she says on the verge of tears.
"I know. And I want you to be my maid of honor."
"Really?" She asks in tears.
"Would you?"
"Of course I would," she answers before hugging me.
Seconds later, she takes a seat next to me. She wipes her tears as I flip through the pages to get to the bridesmaids dresses.
"This is your dress, and this is Rachel's.
"These are gorgeous."
"I think so too. But regardless of whether you like them or not you have to wear them anyway."
"This is such a pretty blue," Monica observes.
Monica and Rachel's dresses are similar, but Monica's dress has a small train in the back with a blue and white flower where the train starts.
"I see we'll be wearing gloves."
"High gloves at that," I confirm with a smile.
She smiles and continues to look at the dresses. I haven't seen her smile much since she and Chandler broke up. I decide to keep the other information I came here to tell her a secret for now.
I walk into the living room with a cold beer and hand it to Samuel. I sit on the couch next to him. After taking a long sip, I can see that he wants to tell me something.
"Okay, what's up?"
"Well, being that you just agreed to be my best man I should tell you this. And please, please, don't back out of your best man position."
"What do you have to tell me?"
"Phoebe's going to ask Monica to be her maid of honor."
"Oh."
"Yeah. That means you two will be walking together. Are you okay with that?"
"Yeah. It's fine with me but I don't know about her."
"Well, the wedding is in April. That's eight months away. You two should be okay by then, right?"
"I hope so."
"Who knows, you might even be back together by then."
"Wishful thinking." I say.
"Just because you broke up it doesn't mean there isn't hope. Just look at Phoebe and me. We were broken up for almost a year. It took some time to get things right again, but we loved each other. I couldn't see me having a life without her. Can you see a life without Monica in it?"
"Of course not."
"You two were friends first. I know you miss that too."
"I do."
"Well, you have to start somewhere right? Start there."
"I sent her a dozen red roses and a card to apologize."
"Even better. An apology, why didn't I think of that?"
"I just hope she accepts my apology."
"I think she will."
"Then you have more confidence than me."
"Chandler, if Monica means that much to you, you can't let her go."
"I don't intent to," I say with determination for the first time in months.
"Thata boy!"
I smile and shake my head.
While at Phoebe's and Samuel's the next day, we were talking about the wedding. Phoebe had some things she wanted to discuss with Monica and Rachel so she headed over there five minutes ago. When Samuel headed upstairs, the doorbell rang. I slowly get up and head toward the door. When I open it, Monica and I stand face to face. There's no way to avoid speaking this time. Although I fall asleep next to a picture of her every night, I'd almost forgotten how beautiful she is in person. I open my mouth to say something, but she speaks first.
"Can I come in?"
I nod my head and close the door behind her. While looking at her, I'm aware that I'm shaking and my heart is racing.
"Is Phoebe here?"
"No. She just left. She was going over to the apartment."
"Oh. Well, I'd better go then."
When she walks over and places her hand on the doorknob, I close my eyes.
"Monica."
I reopen my eyes. She still has her back to me.
"Yeah."
I want to shout out that I love her, but I force myself not to. Just take things one step at a time.
"What did you think of the roses?"
She slowly turns around to look at me.
"They're beautiful."
"And the card?"
"I don't know. There are no words."
"I'm not trying to step on any toes or anything."
"I know. I'm not with Don anymore anyway."
I want to ask why, but I don't push it.
"Oh. I don't expect you to accept my apology or forgive me right now. I just want you to know…that I'm really, really sorry."
There's a long silence until Samuel comes downstairs.
"Hey Monica."
"Hey Sammy. I just stopped by to see Phoebe but it looks like I just missed her."
"She's probably at you place now."
"Yeah, Chandler told me. Well, I'm on my way home."
She opens the door and leaves. I stand here looking at the door seconds after she's gone.
"You okay?"
"I will be."
The next day I'm sitting on the couch waiting for Elaine to finish her conversation with Ross. When she hangs up, she looks at me, and smiles.
"Sorry."
"It's okay."
"You know how your brother is."
"Mister I can't shut up."
"That's my husband."
"Where is he?"
"He's on his way to Chandler's."
"He is?"
"Yeah."
"He's not going over there to kill him is he?"
"No. They're speaking again. He didn't tell you?"
"No."
"Yeah, they're friends again. Joey came over here a week ago and…talked him into going over there."
"What were you about to say?"
"Okay. Chandler was crying when Joey got there. He was worried about him. He said he'd never seen Chandler like that. At first Ross wasn't too crazy about the idea of going over to talk to him until Joey mentioned that he was crying. I haven't been around for too long. I mean I've been around for a couple years, but I don't get it. Chandler has always striked me as a sensitive guy, but Joey said he never cries. Is that true?
"I've never seen him cry."
"I wasn't gonna bring it up. I didn't wanna bum you out."
"You guys don't have to tip toe around me. I'm fine."
"You seem much better. Is it Don?"
"He's gone."
"What?"
"I broke up with him."
"I see."
"He's not Chandler. Am I crazy?"
"No. You're not over him. It wouldn't have been fair to Don or to you."
"That's what I keep telling myself, but I'm getting older, y'know? I wanna come home to someone other than my roommate. I want a commitment. I want a family. I mean, I look around me an see everybody else making the commitment, settling down. You and Ross got married two months ago, and Phoebe and Sammy are about to tie the knot. I just wonder when it'll be my turn."
"Monica, don't rush it. You're a good person. It'll happen for you."
"It's getting to be difficult having patience."
"Ever hear of the saying, good things come to those who wait?" She asks, smiling.
"Patience has never been my strong suit."
"I think that if you wait for him good things will come out of it."
"I hope you're right."
"Good things come to those who wait."
"Oh, will you stop that," I say, smiling.
While Rachel and I are watching TV, to our surprise Chandler walks in. We both turn around to look at him and then at each other.
"Whoa! What brings you to this part of town?" I ask.
"Are you feeling okay?" Rachel teases.
He smiles and walks over to us.
"I just thought I'd come visit you guys for a change."
"Well how 'bout that," Rachel says before getting up to hug him.
"You don't mind the company do you?"
"Maybe. You should come back later," I say.
Rachel sits back down in the other barka lounger.
"Don't listen to Joey. He's happy you're here."
Seconds later, Ross walks in.
"Look who it is Ross," I say.
"I brought him over here."
"Oh. Did you have to twist his arm?" Rachel asks.
"No, he didn't have to twist my arm. I told him to bring me. My car's in the shop."
"Your car is always in the shop," I remark.
"So how long are you visiting?"
"I can stay for a couple hours."
"Good for you!" Rachel shouts.
"Oh cut it out," Ross says.
"And how long are you staying Ross?" I tease.
"I'm going home to my wife. I haven't seen her all day."
"Aww," I say as Ross leaves.
Chandler smiles as he sits on the stool at the kitchen counter. I notice that he's doing a little better. I wonder how long that'll last. As long as he's here I might as well try to keep his mind off Monica, if that's possible.
I hang up the phone after calling Ross. Elaine said that Ross got called to a meeting. I'm ready to go back home and they can tell.
"Ask Monica if she'll take you. Tell her that you've been here for hours and you're ready to go home."
I look at Rachel like she's crazy.
"If neither of you feel comfortable, ask her if I can take you."
"She's not gonna go for it."
"Why not?"
"Your license is expired Rach."
"I can take you."
"You don't even have a license Joey."
"Oh yeah. But I can drive."
"Forget it Joey."
"Just go ask her."
I reluctantly leave the apartment and stand in the hall with my hand on the doorknob of Monica and Rachel's apartment. After a minute, I take a deep breath and walk in. I notice that no one's in the kitchen or the living room when I walk in and close the door. I walk over to the table just as she walks out of the bathroom. She's surprised to see me.
"Chandler, what are you..?"
"Ross dropped me off earlier. My car's in the shop again. He was supposed to be around when I was ready to go home, but he got called to a meeting."
"Oh."
"Can I ask you for a favor? You can say no, but can you take me home…or let Rachel?"
I feel really uncomfortable asking for a favor and instantly regret doing so. She looks at me without answering for a few seconds. Feeling totally foolish, I turn to leave.
"Chandler."
I turn back around to face her.
"I'll take you."
"If you're uncomfortable, Rachel said she'd take me, or I could catch a cab."
"Her license is expired."
"Right," I said, smiling.
I knew she wouldn't go for it.
"Let me just grab my purse."
"Are you sure? I could catch a cab."
"It's no problem."
"Thanks." I say as she disappears into her room. While she's in her room, I quickly go back across the hall.
"Hey guys, I'll see you later," I say peaking in the door.
"She's taking you home?" Rachel asks.
"Yeah."
"Okay." Joey says before I close the door.
When I turn around, Monica comes out of the apartment with her purse on her shoulder and keys in her hand.
"Ready?"
"Yeah."
All the way to my house there wasn't a word spoken, just music coming from the radio. I want to talk to her, but I don't know what to say. I glance at her a few times, but she doesn't look my way. When the car pulls to a stop in front of the house, I look over at her again. I can tell she's forcing herself not to look at me, but I can't seem to take my eyes away from her face. When she takes her right hand off the steering wheel, I watch as she lets it rest on her lap. She continues to look straight ahead as I stare at her. I know I shouldn't do this, but I can't resist. I pull my eyes away from her face to look at her beautiful delicate hand that lay on her thigh. I reach over and take her hand in mine. Surprisingly she doesn't snatch it away. Instead, she closes her eyes for a few seconds before looking over at me. I then give her hand a light squeeze, feeling nervous. It's the first physical contact that I've had with her in six months.
"Thanks a lot Monica."
She looks away and I reluctantly pull my hand away. I reach in my pocket and hand her twenty dollars.
"What's this for?"
"For bringing me home. It's gas money."
"You don't have to. I told you it's no problem."
"I know, but just take it anyway."
"Chandler really, it's okay. Keep it. Don't worry about it."
"Are you sure?"
"It's fine."
I'm so touched that tears suddenly fill my eyes. I've only see her a few times since our breakup and she hasn't shown any hostility or anger toward me. Why? There should be some anger there. I deserve a slap, a punch, something. Without another word, I get out of the car and walk to the house. I stuff the money I offered her back into my pocket before pulling my keys out. I look back and notice that she's waiting to make sure I get in okay. Once I'm in, I wave at her and she pulls off.
Just when I start to dose off, the phone rings. I fumble for the phone on my nightstand and pick it up after the third ring.
"Chandler."
Upon hearing her sweet voice, I bolt upright.
"Monica."
"I know that you were probably asleep, but I…I just want you to know…I accept your apology…and I forgive you."
"You do?"
"Uh huh. And I…I'll always love you too Chandler," she says crying.
My eyes fill with tears just before she hangs up. I hang up the phone and lay my head against the pillow, letting the tears fall from my eyes. I then grab the picture of Monica off the other pillow and place it on my chest.
Next…THOUGHTS OF YOU
BY CREASSYA
This takes place after I Miss You. While Chandler and Monica try their best to deal with the breakup, the gang is preparing for Phoebe's wedding to Samuel, a co-worker and good friend of Chandler's. Chandler and Monica now have to see each other more being that they're both in the wedding.
When I walk into Monica and Rachel's apartment, Monica walks out of her room. The other night she had requested to be alone. She didn't want any phone calls or visitors. After seeing Chandler for the first time in six months, she became a little rattled. Rachel had told me that she was crying. I was a little hesitant to come over today to see her in the same condition Rachel saw her in, but I have a wedding to plan. I can't tell by looking at her now that she's sad or upset. She walks over to me as I take my seat at the kitchen table.
"Is that it?" She asks.
"Yep."
"Before we start discussing the wedding, I need to know how you're feeling."
"I'm fine."
"You seem fine."
"Really, I'm okay. I'm tired of talking about me. Let's talk about this wedding."
"Okay."
I turn to page 40 to reveal my wedding dress.
"Phoebe…it's beautiful. I still can't believe you're getting married," she says on the verge of tears.
"I know. And I want you to be my maid of honor."
"Really?" She asks in tears.
"Would you?"
"Of course I would," she answers before hugging me.
Seconds later, she takes a seat next to me. She wipes her tears as I flip through the pages to get to the bridesmaids dresses.
"This is your dress, and this is Rachel's.
"These are gorgeous."
"I think so too. But regardless of whether you like them or not you have to wear them anyway."
"This is such a pretty blue," Monica observes.
Monica and Rachel's dresses are similar, but Monica's dress has a small train in the back with a blue and white flower where the train starts.
"I see we'll be wearing gloves."
"High gloves at that," I confirm with a smile.
She smiles and continues to look at the dresses. I haven't seen her smile much since she and Chandler broke up. I decide to keep the other information I came here to tell her a secret for now.
I walk into the living room with a cold beer and hand it to Samuel. I sit on the couch next to him. After taking a long sip, I can see that he wants to tell me something.
"Okay, what's up?"
"Well, being that you just agreed to be my best man I should tell you this. And please, please, don't back out of your best man position."
"What do you have to tell me?"
"Phoebe's going to ask Monica to be her maid of honor."
"Oh."
"Yeah. That means you two will be walking together. Are you okay with that?"
"Yeah. It's fine with me but I don't know about her."
"Well, the wedding is in April. That's eight months away. You two should be okay by then, right?"
"I hope so."
"Who knows, you might even be back together by then."
"Wishful thinking." I say.
"Just because you broke up it doesn't mean there isn't hope. Just look at Phoebe and me. We were broken up for almost a year. It took some time to get things right again, but we loved each other. I couldn't see me having a life without her. Can you see a life without Monica in it?"
"Of course not."
"You two were friends first. I know you miss that too."
"I do."
"Well, you have to start somewhere right? Start there."
"I sent her a dozen red roses and a card to apologize."
"Even better. An apology, why didn't I think of that?"
"I just hope she accepts my apology."
"I think she will."
"Then you have more confidence than me."
"Chandler, if Monica means that much to you, you can't let her go."
"I don't intent to," I say with determination for the first time in months.
"Thata boy!"
I smile and shake my head.
While at Phoebe's and Samuel's the next day, we were talking about the wedding. Phoebe had some things she wanted to discuss with Monica and Rachel so she headed over there five minutes ago. When Samuel headed upstairs, the doorbell rang. I slowly get up and head toward the door. When I open it, Monica and I stand face to face. There's no way to avoid speaking this time. Although I fall asleep next to a picture of her every night, I'd almost forgotten how beautiful she is in person. I open my mouth to say something, but she speaks first.
"Can I come in?"
I nod my head and close the door behind her. While looking at her, I'm aware that I'm shaking and my heart is racing.
"Is Phoebe here?"
"No. She just left. She was going over to the apartment."
"Oh. Well, I'd better go then."
When she walks over and places her hand on the doorknob, I close my eyes.
"Monica."
I reopen my eyes. She still has her back to me.
"Yeah."
I want to shout out that I love her, but I force myself not to. Just take things one step at a time.
"What did you think of the roses?"
She slowly turns around to look at me.
"They're beautiful."
"And the card?"
"I don't know. There are no words."
"I'm not trying to step on any toes or anything."
"I know. I'm not with Don anymore anyway."
I want to ask why, but I don't push it.
"Oh. I don't expect you to accept my apology or forgive me right now. I just want you to know…that I'm really, really sorry."
There's a long silence until Samuel comes downstairs.
"Hey Monica."
"Hey Sammy. I just stopped by to see Phoebe but it looks like I just missed her."
"She's probably at you place now."
"Yeah, Chandler told me. Well, I'm on my way home."
She opens the door and leaves. I stand here looking at the door seconds after she's gone.
"You okay?"
"I will be."
The next day I'm sitting on the couch waiting for Elaine to finish her conversation with Ross. When she hangs up, she looks at me, and smiles.
"Sorry."
"It's okay."
"You know how your brother is."
"Mister I can't shut up."
"That's my husband."
"Where is he?"
"He's on his way to Chandler's."
"He is?"
"Yeah."
"He's not going over there to kill him is he?"
"No. They're speaking again. He didn't tell you?"
"No."
"Yeah, they're friends again. Joey came over here a week ago and…talked him into going over there."
"What were you about to say?"
"Okay. Chandler was crying when Joey got there. He was worried about him. He said he'd never seen Chandler like that. At first Ross wasn't too crazy about the idea of going over to talk to him until Joey mentioned that he was crying. I haven't been around for too long. I mean I've been around for a couple years, but I don't get it. Chandler has always striked me as a sensitive guy, but Joey said he never cries. Is that true?
"I've never seen him cry."
"I wasn't gonna bring it up. I didn't wanna bum you out."
"You guys don't have to tip toe around me. I'm fine."
"You seem much better. Is it Don?"
"He's gone."
"What?"
"I broke up with him."
"I see."
"He's not Chandler. Am I crazy?"
"No. You're not over him. It wouldn't have been fair to Don or to you."
"That's what I keep telling myself, but I'm getting older, y'know? I wanna come home to someone other than my roommate. I want a commitment. I want a family. I mean, I look around me an see everybody else making the commitment, settling down. You and Ross got married two months ago, and Phoebe and Sammy are about to tie the knot. I just wonder when it'll be my turn."
"Monica, don't rush it. You're a good person. It'll happen for you."
"It's getting to be difficult having patience."
"Ever hear of the saying, good things come to those who wait?" She asks, smiling.
"Patience has never been my strong suit."
"I think that if you wait for him good things will come out of it."
"I hope you're right."
"Good things come to those who wait."
"Oh, will you stop that," I say, smiling.
While Rachel and I are watching TV, to our surprise Chandler walks in. We both turn around to look at him and then at each other.
"Whoa! What brings you to this part of town?" I ask.
"Are you feeling okay?" Rachel teases.
He smiles and walks over to us.
"I just thought I'd come visit you guys for a change."
"Well how 'bout that," Rachel says before getting up to hug him.
"You don't mind the company do you?"
"Maybe. You should come back later," I say.
Rachel sits back down in the other barka lounger.
"Don't listen to Joey. He's happy you're here."
Seconds later, Ross walks in.
"Look who it is Ross," I say.
"I brought him over here."
"Oh. Did you have to twist his arm?" Rachel asks.
"No, he didn't have to twist my arm. I told him to bring me. My car's in the shop."
"Your car is always in the shop," I remark.
"So how long are you visiting?"
"I can stay for a couple hours."
"Good for you!" Rachel shouts.
"Oh cut it out," Ross says.
"And how long are you staying Ross?" I tease.
"I'm going home to my wife. I haven't seen her all day."
"Aww," I say as Ross leaves.
Chandler smiles as he sits on the stool at the kitchen counter. I notice that he's doing a little better. I wonder how long that'll last. As long as he's here I might as well try to keep his mind off Monica, if that's possible.
I hang up the phone after calling Ross. Elaine said that Ross got called to a meeting. I'm ready to go back home and they can tell.
"Ask Monica if she'll take you. Tell her that you've been here for hours and you're ready to go home."
I look at Rachel like she's crazy.
"If neither of you feel comfortable, ask her if I can take you."
"She's not gonna go for it."
"Why not?"
"Your license is expired Rach."
"I can take you."
"You don't even have a license Joey."
"Oh yeah. But I can drive."
"Forget it Joey."
"Just go ask her."
I reluctantly leave the apartment and stand in the hall with my hand on the doorknob of Monica and Rachel's apartment. After a minute, I take a deep breath and walk in. I notice that no one's in the kitchen or the living room when I walk in and close the door. I walk over to the table just as she walks out of the bathroom. She's surprised to see me.
"Chandler, what are you..?"
"Ross dropped me off earlier. My car's in the shop again. He was supposed to be around when I was ready to go home, but he got called to a meeting."
"Oh."
"Can I ask you for a favor? You can say no, but can you take me home…or let Rachel?"
I feel really uncomfortable asking for a favor and instantly regret doing so. She looks at me without answering for a few seconds. Feeling totally foolish, I turn to leave.
"Chandler."
I turn back around to face her.
"I'll take you."
"If you're uncomfortable, Rachel said she'd take me, or I could catch a cab."
"Her license is expired."
"Right," I said, smiling.
I knew she wouldn't go for it.
"Let me just grab my purse."
"Are you sure? I could catch a cab."
"It's no problem."
"Thanks." I say as she disappears into her room. While she's in her room, I quickly go back across the hall.
"Hey guys, I'll see you later," I say peaking in the door.
"She's taking you home?" Rachel asks.
"Yeah."
"Okay." Joey says before I close the door.
When I turn around, Monica comes out of the apartment with her purse on her shoulder and keys in her hand.
"Ready?"
"Yeah."
All the way to my house there wasn't a word spoken, just music coming from the radio. I want to talk to her, but I don't know what to say. I glance at her a few times, but she doesn't look my way. When the car pulls to a stop in front of the house, I look over at her again. I can tell she's forcing herself not to look at me, but I can't seem to take my eyes away from her face. When she takes her right hand off the steering wheel, I watch as she lets it rest on her lap. She continues to look straight ahead as I stare at her. I know I shouldn't do this, but I can't resist. I pull my eyes away from her face to look at her beautiful delicate hand that lay on her thigh. I reach over and take her hand in mine. Surprisingly she doesn't snatch it away. Instead, she closes her eyes for a few seconds before looking over at me. I then give her hand a light squeeze, feeling nervous. It's the first physical contact that I've had with her in six months.
"Thanks a lot Monica."
She looks away and I reluctantly pull my hand away. I reach in my pocket and hand her twenty dollars.
"What's this for?"
"For bringing me home. It's gas money."
"You don't have to. I told you it's no problem."
"I know, but just take it anyway."
"Chandler really, it's okay. Keep it. Don't worry about it."
"Are you sure?"
"It's fine."
I'm so touched that tears suddenly fill my eyes. I've only see her a few times since our breakup and she hasn't shown any hostility or anger toward me. Why? There should be some anger there. I deserve a slap, a punch, something. Without another word, I get out of the car and walk to the house. I stuff the money I offered her back into my pocket before pulling my keys out. I look back and notice that she's waiting to make sure I get in okay. Once I'm in, I wave at her and she pulls off.
Just when I start to dose off, the phone rings. I fumble for the phone on my nightstand and pick it up after the third ring.
"Chandler."
Upon hearing her sweet voice, I bolt upright.
"Monica."
"I know that you were probably asleep, but I…I just want you to know…I accept your apology…and I forgive you."
"You do?"
"Uh huh. And I…I'll always love you too Chandler," she says crying.
My eyes fill with tears just before she hangs up. I hang up the phone and lay my head against the pillow, letting the tears fall from my eyes. I then grab the picture of Monica off the other pillow and place it on my chest.
Next…THOUGHTS OF YOU