h3~The Day the House Caught Fire~/h3
Disclaimer: I doesn't own anybody in this, they belongs to Robert Jordan (*cough*burn him!*cough*) and...that's that!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAACHOO!!!!!!!!"
"Hi Ba'alzamon!" The Dragon Reborn skipped through the door, glancing at the TV.
"Get lost, freak! You're making me sneeze! Either that, or close the door!"
"Sorry, Balzie! Forgot you're allergic to fresh air."
Ba'alzamon gave a huge sniff and started hacking. He was not only allergic to fresh air- he also couldn't stand that stupid farmboy. He thought he was so great, but he couldn't make fire come out of his eyes!
"You may think you're cool, but I can do this!" and with that, the Dark One spewed flames out his eyes. Only, he caught his recliner on fire.
"Yeah, Light, that's impressive!" Rand smirked, "But I can do this!"
The Dragon Reborn shot lightning from the sky, exploding the television and leaving a crater in the floor.
"Man!" The Dark One complained, "That was new carpet! I paid big marks for that!"
"Yeah, well you bloody well can't do as good as I bloody friggin did you big bloody Dark One!"
Ba'alzamon was taken aback by the farmboy's language, but still did this funky flame thing at the wall, leaving a burning circle.
"Yeah, I can too!"
"Cannot! That was BORING!"
"Was not, you can still see it, it's catching the whole house on fire! THAT is too cool!"
Suddenly, the two looked at each other, horrified.
"YOU BLOODY FOOL, CATCHING THE HOUSE ON FIRE! WHAT DO YOU BLOODY WELL THINK YOU ARE BLOODY WELL DOING?"
"I DIDN'T BLOODY WELL KNOW IT WOULD CATCH THE BLOODY HOUSE ON FIRE YOU BLOODY FARMBOY!"
"This language is getting us nowhere! This calls for...911!!!!"
And with that, the Dragon Reborn punched the numbers on Ba'alzamon's cell, and screamed, "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP! FIRRRRRRE!! WE'RE DYING!" and slammed it on the table, breaking it into a million pieces.
"Hey, man, that cell cost me a million silver marks! Verizon is not going to be pleased at your wreckage!"
"Well, you'll owe them money, that should make them happy!"
The sound of sirens was heard, and red lights shone all around. There were three firetrucks full of Aiel, two police cars full of Whitecloaks, and a Ferrari with...
"AHHHHHHH! It's Nynaeve and Lan!!!!!!!!!"
Nynaeve honked the horn, and Lan opened the door for her. She looked around, and then saw the flaming house.
"Where is that sheepherder?!" Lan growled.
"Uhhhhhhhh oh..." Rand edged behind Ba'alzamon so they wouldn't be seen through the window.
"OH NO! RAND, YOU'RE ON FIRE!!!!!!"
"OK, calm down, I just have to do what we were taught! STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!"
The Dragon Reborn bashed himself on the floor, and kicked the air while he spun in a circle. The Dark One nodded approvingly.
"You handled that situation very well, Rand. I think we are on our way to being firefighters!"
With the last word, the door was broken down by some Aiel in firefighter suits, and they held hoses in front of their faces.
"DONT SHOOT!" Rand screamed.
"SHEEPHERDER!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! NO, NOT HIM! LIGHT, NOT HIM!"
"Yes, me!" Lan stepped out from behind the Aiel, grabbed Rand's ear, and pulled him out the door. Ba'alzamon looked shaken.
"Aw, guys, c'mon. I didn't mean to burn the house down! Really, it was Rand's fault!"
He was led away by Whitecloaks, kicking and screaming.
Outside, Nynaeve was screaming at Rand.
"YOU STUPID, WOOL-HEADED IDIOT! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU TWO THAT YOU MUST NEVER! EVER! EVER! PLAY WITH THE POWER WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION! AND MAKE SURE THE ADULT IS SANE!"
"Aw, Nynaeve, let off you bloody Aes Sedai!"
"DON'T YOU EVER INSULT MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!"
Rand's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as Lan charged at him, sword drawn.
"NIAH! Man, I didn't mean it! I didn't mean it! Forgive me Lan for I have sinned! Isn't that good enough?"
He threw himself at Nynaeve's feet, grovelling for mercy. At last, Lan slowed down, and scowled at him.
"Better, sheepherder."
"Thank you, Lan. That was...er...nice. Thank you." Nynaeve pulled Rand to his feet, dumped him in the trunk of the Ferrari, and locked it.
Moiraine came running, hair askew, and wide-eyed, and saw Nynaeve and Lan getting in the car.
"LAN! MY WARDER! YOU GET BACK HERE NOW! I DID NOT DIE YOU FOOL!"
Lan grinned at her, kissed Nynaeve loudly, and left Moiraine in the dust.
"BUT! YOU CAN'T! BUT! AW, MAN! Nothing ever goes my way anymore!"
Ba'alzamon shook his head- he had escaped from the Whitecloaks momentarily.
"BA'ALZAMON! My lost love!" Moiraine gasped.
"Moiraine! My sweet!"
Then the Whitecloaks found them, and packed them up for the Insane Asylum.
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I doesn't own anybody in this, they belongs to Robert Jordan (*cough*burn him!*cough*) and...that's that!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAACHOO!!!!!!!!"
"Hi Ba'alzamon!" The Dragon Reborn skipped through the door, glancing at the TV.
"Get lost, freak! You're making me sneeze! Either that, or close the door!"
"Sorry, Balzie! Forgot you're allergic to fresh air."
Ba'alzamon gave a huge sniff and started hacking. He was not only allergic to fresh air- he also couldn't stand that stupid farmboy. He thought he was so great, but he couldn't make fire come out of his eyes!
"You may think you're cool, but I can do this!" and with that, the Dark One spewed flames out his eyes. Only, he caught his recliner on fire.
"Yeah, Light, that's impressive!" Rand smirked, "But I can do this!"
The Dragon Reborn shot lightning from the sky, exploding the television and leaving a crater in the floor.
"Man!" The Dark One complained, "That was new carpet! I paid big marks for that!"
"Yeah, well you bloody well can't do as good as I bloody friggin did you big bloody Dark One!"
Ba'alzamon was taken aback by the farmboy's language, but still did this funky flame thing at the wall, leaving a burning circle.
"Yeah, I can too!"
"Cannot! That was BORING!"
"Was not, you can still see it, it's catching the whole house on fire! THAT is too cool!"
Suddenly, the two looked at each other, horrified.
"YOU BLOODY FOOL, CATCHING THE HOUSE ON FIRE! WHAT DO YOU BLOODY WELL THINK YOU ARE BLOODY WELL DOING?"
"I DIDN'T BLOODY WELL KNOW IT WOULD CATCH THE BLOODY HOUSE ON FIRE YOU BLOODY FARMBOY!"
"This language is getting us nowhere! This calls for...911!!!!"
And with that, the Dragon Reborn punched the numbers on Ba'alzamon's cell, and screamed, "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP! FIRRRRRRE!! WE'RE DYING!" and slammed it on the table, breaking it into a million pieces.
"Hey, man, that cell cost me a million silver marks! Verizon is not going to be pleased at your wreckage!"
"Well, you'll owe them money, that should make them happy!"
The sound of sirens was heard, and red lights shone all around. There were three firetrucks full of Aiel, two police cars full of Whitecloaks, and a Ferrari with...
"AHHHHHHH! It's Nynaeve and Lan!!!!!!!!!"
Nynaeve honked the horn, and Lan opened the door for her. She looked around, and then saw the flaming house.
"Where is that sheepherder?!" Lan growled.
"Uhhhhhhhh oh..." Rand edged behind Ba'alzamon so they wouldn't be seen through the window.
"OH NO! RAND, YOU'RE ON FIRE!!!!!!"
"OK, calm down, I just have to do what we were taught! STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!"
The Dragon Reborn bashed himself on the floor, and kicked the air while he spun in a circle. The Dark One nodded approvingly.
"You handled that situation very well, Rand. I think we are on our way to being firefighters!"
With the last word, the door was broken down by some Aiel in firefighter suits, and they held hoses in front of their faces.
"DONT SHOOT!" Rand screamed.
"SHEEPHERDER!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! NO, NOT HIM! LIGHT, NOT HIM!"
"Yes, me!" Lan stepped out from behind the Aiel, grabbed Rand's ear, and pulled him out the door. Ba'alzamon looked shaken.
"Aw, guys, c'mon. I didn't mean to burn the house down! Really, it was Rand's fault!"
He was led away by Whitecloaks, kicking and screaming.
Outside, Nynaeve was screaming at Rand.
"YOU STUPID, WOOL-HEADED IDIOT! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU TWO THAT YOU MUST NEVER! EVER! EVER! PLAY WITH THE POWER WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION! AND MAKE SURE THE ADULT IS SANE!"
"Aw, Nynaeve, let off you bloody Aes Sedai!"
"DON'T YOU EVER INSULT MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!"
Rand's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as Lan charged at him, sword drawn.
"NIAH! Man, I didn't mean it! I didn't mean it! Forgive me Lan for I have sinned! Isn't that good enough?"
He threw himself at Nynaeve's feet, grovelling for mercy. At last, Lan slowed down, and scowled at him.
"Better, sheepherder."
"Thank you, Lan. That was...er...nice. Thank you." Nynaeve pulled Rand to his feet, dumped him in the trunk of the Ferrari, and locked it.
Moiraine came running, hair askew, and wide-eyed, and saw Nynaeve and Lan getting in the car.
"LAN! MY WARDER! YOU GET BACK HERE NOW! I DID NOT DIE YOU FOOL!"
Lan grinned at her, kissed Nynaeve loudly, and left Moiraine in the dust.
"BUT! YOU CAN'T! BUT! AW, MAN! Nothing ever goes my way anymore!"
Ba'alzamon shook his head- he had escaped from the Whitecloaks momentarily.
"BA'ALZAMON! My lost love!" Moiraine gasped.
"Moiraine! My sweet!"
Then the Whitecloaks found them, and packed them up for the Insane Asylum.
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!