Greeting, ohayo, and aloha to you all. ^_^ Having gotten very bored and then very inspired in the middle of work, I hereby present to you the fruits of my labors; a Final Fantasy parody of Sir Mix-A-Lot's (unfortunately) unkillable hit, "Baby Got Back".
I say Final Fantasy in general, and not FF7, because it's full of so many references to the other FF games, as well as Kingdom Hearts, that many of the jokes won't work unless you have some basic knowledge of the series. Oh, and for those of you who are unaware, CLAMP is a group of anime artists who specialize in shoujo manga, which often features extremely beautiful males, often with long hair etc., that are referred to as bishounen or, in American otaku terminology, "bishies".
Well, enough explanation. Enjoy! (It works better if you've got a sound file of the song to listen to while you read. ^_^)
(PROFILE UPDATE - April 6, 2003 Okay, I still can't believe this really happened!!! ^_^ *grinning like an idiot* For Sakuracon 2003, which ran from April 4th until today, I dressed as Aeris and performed this song with backup music in the karaoke contest...and won Best of Show!!! O.O *still in shock* The adrenaline rush of playing to a room full of screaming, cheering otaku was beyond belief...I'm still feeling all bright and sparkly! ^_^
Thank you so much, everyone who came up and asked for the lyrics afterwards...this update is for you! I made a few changes to the lyrics since I wrote them, so here is the updated Midgar Booty song, Version 2.0: Sakuracon Mix!)
~*~*~*~
Song: Midgar Booty (The Cloud Strife Song)
*talking*
Oh my gosh.
Tifa, look at that sword.
It is so big!
He looks like one of those fangirl magnets...
Who understands those fangirls?
They only talk to him because he looks like a total bishounen.
I mean, his sword,
It's just so big!
I can't believe it's just so huge and...out there.
It's awesome...
Look, he's just so stacked!
*rap*
I like Cloud Strife and I can not lie
You gamer girls can't deny
That when Cloud walks in with the Buster on his shoulder
And his muscles built like boulders
You drool
He's the essence of cool
And his moves are pure old school
So fine in the duds he's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, bishy! I wanna get with ya
And draw your picture
My girlfriends tried to stop me
But that sword you got
It's the size of Milwaukee
Ooh, he's got such smooth moves
When he's in a monster-killin' groove
He whacks 'em, attacks 'em, racks up the EXP while he smacks 'em
Hair spiked and yellow
Eyes blue and mellow
He's fine, divine, and I'm wishin' he was mine all mine
I'm tired of newbie jerks
Saying Tidus has the works
Sure the guy's kinda cute with his hair like gold
But he whines like a three-year-old!
So, fellas- (Yeah?) Fellas- (Yeah?)
Do you wish you could be like Cloud? (Booyeah!)
Well too bad, too bad, so sad, so sad, there's only one allowed
He's layin' down the smack
*turntable scratch*
Layin' down the smack
*turntable scratch*
I know he once cross-dressed
But he's still the best!
He joined a rebel gang
And he's battlin' Shinra
He'll slice 'em up like pasta
When his Mythril Saber
Goes WHAM! Blade Beam! WHAM WHAM!
I aint talkin bout Daggers
I'm talkin' bout a six-foot iron slagger
He used to look like a koosh doll
Cuz those old graphics sucked
But in the Hades Cup
You can ogle till your eyeballs pop
So I'm lookin' at Zidane Tribal
Got a funny-lookin' tail, givin' chicks the eyeball
You can keep that monkey
He's just a little too funky
A word to the small fry Sora
I'll tell it to ya short cuz
I don't want to bore ya
He fought Cloud in a duel, got to hear him go *battle cry*
Til the break of dawn
Cloud had it goin' on
Till he got his sword stuck in the ground
I guess my only question's
Why he let an eighth-grader win?
Cuz he's rough and he's tough
Must have been all that Aeris fluff...
So, ladies- (Yeah?) Ladies- (Yeah?)
Does Cloud Strife rock your world (Oh yeah!)
Then turn it on
Try and play
Even Moogles got to say
He's layin' down the smack
*turntable scratch*
Layin' down the smack
Yeah baby
When it comes to bishies
CLAMP ain't got nothin to do with my selection
Long flowy hair and doofy earrings? Nuh-uh.
Only if he's Edgar...
For a long time fans have wondered
If Squall could steal some'a Cloud's thunder
But thanks to Kingdom Hearts we don't have to wonder
'Cause that game made it
Clear as glass that Cloud could kick Squall's (*Gunblade*)
You can try Hard Edge or Nail Bat, but please don't lose that sword
Some gamers wanna play the tough guy
And tell you '97 games ain't fly
So they toss 'em and leave 'em
And I pull up quick to retrieve 'em
So Cecil got there first?
Well his graphics are the worst!
Cuz your face is pretty and your sword kicks butt
And you got me goin' nuts!
To the fangirls followin' cartoon guys
I aint missin' a thing
Give me Cloud, I can't resist him
Those Shinra goons did miss him
Then Sephiroth tried to dis
World destruction's on his list
He had Cloud but he tried to kill him--
Cloud be rippin' off the guy's One Wing
So ladies if your heart just soars
When you think about the merc bein' yours
Dial 1-900-AVALANCHE and try to make the catch!
Layin' down the smack
Niblheim face with the Midgar booty
Niblheim face with the Midgar booty
Niblheim face with the Midgar booty
He's got a Niblheim face with the Midgar booty
Top that, Tifa!
~*~*~*~
Well, there's the updated version. Once again, to everyone who came to the Sakuracon karaoke contest, a million props to each and every one of you! Your incredible encouragement has had one positive effect for you; even as I write this, KaZaA is working busily away in another window, downloading the backup music for "Baby Got Back" so that I can make an MP3 of this! Your wish will hopefully be granted! ^___^ Till then...I love you all!
I say Final Fantasy in general, and not FF7, because it's full of so many references to the other FF games, as well as Kingdom Hearts, that many of the jokes won't work unless you have some basic knowledge of the series. Oh, and for those of you who are unaware, CLAMP is a group of anime artists who specialize in shoujo manga, which often features extremely beautiful males, often with long hair etc., that are referred to as bishounen or, in American otaku terminology, "bishies".
Well, enough explanation. Enjoy! (It works better if you've got a sound file of the song to listen to while you read. ^_^)
(PROFILE UPDATE - April 6, 2003 Okay, I still can't believe this really happened!!! ^_^ *grinning like an idiot* For Sakuracon 2003, which ran from April 4th until today, I dressed as Aeris and performed this song with backup music in the karaoke contest...and won Best of Show!!! O.O *still in shock* The adrenaline rush of playing to a room full of screaming, cheering otaku was beyond belief...I'm still feeling all bright and sparkly! ^_^
Thank you so much, everyone who came up and asked for the lyrics afterwards...this update is for you! I made a few changes to the lyrics since I wrote them, so here is the updated Midgar Booty song, Version 2.0: Sakuracon Mix!)
~*~*~*~
Song: Midgar Booty (The Cloud Strife Song)
*talking*
Oh my gosh.
Tifa, look at that sword.
It is so big!
He looks like one of those fangirl magnets...
Who understands those fangirls?
They only talk to him because he looks like a total bishounen.
I mean, his sword,
It's just so big!
I can't believe it's just so huge and...out there.
It's awesome...
Look, he's just so stacked!
*rap*
I like Cloud Strife and I can not lie
You gamer girls can't deny
That when Cloud walks in with the Buster on his shoulder
And his muscles built like boulders
You drool
He's the essence of cool
And his moves are pure old school
So fine in the duds he's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, bishy! I wanna get with ya
And draw your picture
My girlfriends tried to stop me
But that sword you got
It's the size of Milwaukee
Ooh, he's got such smooth moves
When he's in a monster-killin' groove
He whacks 'em, attacks 'em, racks up the EXP while he smacks 'em
Hair spiked and yellow
Eyes blue and mellow
He's fine, divine, and I'm wishin' he was mine all mine
I'm tired of newbie jerks
Saying Tidus has the works
Sure the guy's kinda cute with his hair like gold
But he whines like a three-year-old!
So, fellas- (Yeah?) Fellas- (Yeah?)
Do you wish you could be like Cloud? (Booyeah!)
Well too bad, too bad, so sad, so sad, there's only one allowed
He's layin' down the smack
*turntable scratch*
Layin' down the smack
*turntable scratch*
I know he once cross-dressed
But he's still the best!
He joined a rebel gang
And he's battlin' Shinra
He'll slice 'em up like pasta
When his Mythril Saber
Goes WHAM! Blade Beam! WHAM WHAM!
I aint talkin bout Daggers
I'm talkin' bout a six-foot iron slagger
He used to look like a koosh doll
Cuz those old graphics sucked
But in the Hades Cup
You can ogle till your eyeballs pop
So I'm lookin' at Zidane Tribal
Got a funny-lookin' tail, givin' chicks the eyeball
You can keep that monkey
He's just a little too funky
A word to the small fry Sora
I'll tell it to ya short cuz
I don't want to bore ya
He fought Cloud in a duel, got to hear him go *battle cry*
Til the break of dawn
Cloud had it goin' on
Till he got his sword stuck in the ground
I guess my only question's
Why he let an eighth-grader win?
Cuz he's rough and he's tough
Must have been all that Aeris fluff...
So, ladies- (Yeah?) Ladies- (Yeah?)
Does Cloud Strife rock your world (Oh yeah!)
Then turn it on
Try and play
Even Moogles got to say
He's layin' down the smack
*turntable scratch*
Layin' down the smack
Yeah baby
When it comes to bishies
CLAMP ain't got nothin to do with my selection
Long flowy hair and doofy earrings? Nuh-uh.
Only if he's Edgar...
For a long time fans have wondered
If Squall could steal some'a Cloud's thunder
But thanks to Kingdom Hearts we don't have to wonder
'Cause that game made it
Clear as glass that Cloud could kick Squall's (*Gunblade*)
You can try Hard Edge or Nail Bat, but please don't lose that sword
Some gamers wanna play the tough guy
And tell you '97 games ain't fly
So they toss 'em and leave 'em
And I pull up quick to retrieve 'em
So Cecil got there first?
Well his graphics are the worst!
Cuz your face is pretty and your sword kicks butt
And you got me goin' nuts!
To the fangirls followin' cartoon guys
I aint missin' a thing
Give me Cloud, I can't resist him
Those Shinra goons did miss him
Then Sephiroth tried to dis
World destruction's on his list
He had Cloud but he tried to kill him--
Cloud be rippin' off the guy's One Wing
So ladies if your heart just soars
When you think about the merc bein' yours
Dial 1-900-AVALANCHE and try to make the catch!
Layin' down the smack
Niblheim face with the Midgar booty
Niblheim face with the Midgar booty
Niblheim face with the Midgar booty
He's got a Niblheim face with the Midgar booty
Top that, Tifa!
~*~*~*~
Well, there's the updated version. Once again, to everyone who came to the Sakuracon karaoke contest, a million props to each and every one of you! Your incredible encouragement has had one positive effect for you; even as I write this, KaZaA is working busily away in another window, downloading the backup music for "Baby Got Back" so that I can make an MP3 of this! Your wish will hopefully be granted! ^___^ Till then...I love you all!