Here I will place a few of your beloved Parasite Eve characters in
basically the same plot line as Austin Powers! In the words of Stimpy from
Ren and Stimpy...Happy Happy Joy Joy! I have made a few alterations but
this is for those of you who love Austin Powers and feel like having a good
laugh. Note that Austin Powers isn't the only movie displayed.
-September 30, 2002
One year after Kyle Madigan had apparently failed to assassinate No. 9, No. 9 returned to bring a small amount of havoc to our planet. But, Kyle once again caught up to him and No. 9 escaped by cryogenically froze himself and blasted into space.
In case Nine would ever return Kyle volunteered to have himself frozen. He is currently at the cryogenic freezing lab in England.
-October 30, 2002 (Naval Base on California Coast)
"Sir, I've got something on radar." A navy sailor called out.
"What is it Johnson?" The Lieutenant demanded.
"Well," Johnson hesitated, "It appears to be in the shape of Colonel Sanders."
The Lieutenant became horrified. "Oh dear God..."
-Cryogenic Freezing Lab
"So it's true, No. 9 has returned," an English officer questioned.
"Yes, I am afraid so," R replied.
"Now, you say you have a man who can stop him?"
"Yes, his name is Kyle Madigan. He has fought nine before and has more knowledge of his weaknesses than any other man alive." R turned to a frozen tube containing the agent that would be after Nine.
After reanimation Kyle was strapped to a table as scientists did some last minute tests.
"How are you feeling Kyle?" R asked seeing that Kyle was now awake.
"I am rather well. How about you Q?" Kyle replied politely.
"No Kyle, Q retired 6 years ago. I'm R, remember?"
"6 years ago? How long have I been frozen?"
"30 days Kyle. You were still awake when he retired and I took over as the engineer of all the gadgets you use."
"Wait a minute? Aren't you the one who gives me my missions?" Kyle was obviously getting confused.
"On a different note, your partner will be Agent Brea for this mission."
"Aya?" Kyle was pleased to hear that name.
"No, no Kyle. It's her daughter, Mariko. She is 28 years old." Mariko walked in behind R.
"Q, do you mean to tell me that Aya has a 28 year old daughter even though I've been frozen for thirty days?" Everyone nodded. "Huh, makes sense."
"Wait, did you call me Q again?" R asked impatiently.
"Yeah," Kyle couldn't stop staring at Mariko.
"Damn it! I'm R!"
"Oh, you're the one who gives me my orders."
"No, I make the gadgets. M gives you your mission briefings."
Kyle became incredibly confused. "Aren't you M?"
"I'm R! I make gadgets. M gives you orders."
"I thought Q made the gadgets."
"I make the gadgets damn it!" R got really furious and stormed out of the room.
"Wait! Who in the hell is Q?"
-Storage Locker
Kyle and Mariko were here to pick up the items Kyle left for safekeeping.
The security guard took out a bin and began reading off a checklist. "One pair of Jeans and a wool sweater." Kyle accepted gratefully since he was in only a bathrobe. The guard named off a few other items but Kyle kept staring at the beautiful young Mariko who looked just like her mother. The guard pulled out an odd looking item. "One British made Ass Pounder." Kyle snapped out of his gaze.
"That isn't mine. I've never even seen such a thing." Mariko began snickering to herself.
"One lifetime warranty for the British made Ass Pounder signed by Kyle Madigan."
"Oh come on. Some one is playing a prank on me."
The guard pressed a button on the machine and a shiny aluminum rod began jerking back and forth.
"Only a gay man would need this sort of a contraption!" Kyle protested. Mariko burst out laughing.
"One book titled "British Made Ass Pounder...and you all thought I was strait," By Kyle Madigan." The guard put all of this in the crate and handed it to Kyle, as Mariko laughed her ass off.
A/N: I have just this so far. I'll write more later.
-September 30, 2002
One year after Kyle Madigan had apparently failed to assassinate No. 9, No. 9 returned to bring a small amount of havoc to our planet. But, Kyle once again caught up to him and No. 9 escaped by cryogenically froze himself and blasted into space.
In case Nine would ever return Kyle volunteered to have himself frozen. He is currently at the cryogenic freezing lab in England.
-October 30, 2002 (Naval Base on California Coast)
"Sir, I've got something on radar." A navy sailor called out.
"What is it Johnson?" The Lieutenant demanded.
"Well," Johnson hesitated, "It appears to be in the shape of Colonel Sanders."
The Lieutenant became horrified. "Oh dear God..."
-Cryogenic Freezing Lab
"So it's true, No. 9 has returned," an English officer questioned.
"Yes, I am afraid so," R replied.
"Now, you say you have a man who can stop him?"
"Yes, his name is Kyle Madigan. He has fought nine before and has more knowledge of his weaknesses than any other man alive." R turned to a frozen tube containing the agent that would be after Nine.
After reanimation Kyle was strapped to a table as scientists did some last minute tests.
"How are you feeling Kyle?" R asked seeing that Kyle was now awake.
"I am rather well. How about you Q?" Kyle replied politely.
"No Kyle, Q retired 6 years ago. I'm R, remember?"
"6 years ago? How long have I been frozen?"
"30 days Kyle. You were still awake when he retired and I took over as the engineer of all the gadgets you use."
"Wait a minute? Aren't you the one who gives me my missions?" Kyle was obviously getting confused.
"On a different note, your partner will be Agent Brea for this mission."
"Aya?" Kyle was pleased to hear that name.
"No, no Kyle. It's her daughter, Mariko. She is 28 years old." Mariko walked in behind R.
"Q, do you mean to tell me that Aya has a 28 year old daughter even though I've been frozen for thirty days?" Everyone nodded. "Huh, makes sense."
"Wait, did you call me Q again?" R asked impatiently.
"Yeah," Kyle couldn't stop staring at Mariko.
"Damn it! I'm R!"
"Oh, you're the one who gives me my orders."
"No, I make the gadgets. M gives you your mission briefings."
Kyle became incredibly confused. "Aren't you M?"
"I'm R! I make gadgets. M gives you orders."
"I thought Q made the gadgets."
"I make the gadgets damn it!" R got really furious and stormed out of the room.
"Wait! Who in the hell is Q?"
-Storage Locker
Kyle and Mariko were here to pick up the items Kyle left for safekeeping.
The security guard took out a bin and began reading off a checklist. "One pair of Jeans and a wool sweater." Kyle accepted gratefully since he was in only a bathrobe. The guard named off a few other items but Kyle kept staring at the beautiful young Mariko who looked just like her mother. The guard pulled out an odd looking item. "One British made Ass Pounder." Kyle snapped out of his gaze.
"That isn't mine. I've never even seen such a thing." Mariko began snickering to herself.
"One lifetime warranty for the British made Ass Pounder signed by Kyle Madigan."
"Oh come on. Some one is playing a prank on me."
The guard pressed a button on the machine and a shiny aluminum rod began jerking back and forth.
"Only a gay man would need this sort of a contraption!" Kyle protested. Mariko burst out laughing.
"One book titled "British Made Ass Pounder...and you all thought I was strait," By Kyle Madigan." The guard put all of this in the crate and handed it to Kyle, as Mariko laughed her ass off.
A/N: I have just this so far. I'll write more later.