A/N: Yes I own the Gundam boys thats why I'm scraping together every penny I have to go to art school, But its ok cause I own the Gundam boys!

A Screwed Up Gundam Wing Tale

In a regular high school just like yours Relena Peacecraft was walking down the hall when.

"Yoo-hoo Relena!"

Relena sighed and turned around "what do you want Heero?" She asked. She was already dreading the answer.

"Do you wanna go out with me on Friday? Huh, huh oh come on please Relena" asked Heero jumping from foot to foot.

Relena glared "No! I don't want to go out with you I've told you before and stop sending me stuff!" She yelled as she yanked a teddy bear from her bag, threw it at him and stormed down the hall.

Heero stood there clutching the bear to his chest. He took a stopwatch out of his pocket "Wow; she kept it for 14 hours 23 minutes and 11 seconds! That's a new record!" And with that he skipped merrily down the hall.

In the cafeteria at the regular table where the boys ate lunch Duo was reading a book and Quatre was shooting spitballs at the younger students.

"Hey Four Eyes" called Quatre. Duo looked up from the book he was reading.

"Yes Quatre, were you addressing me?" Asked Duo

"Do you see another glasses wearer at this table?" Demanded Quatre

Duo sighed he was use to Quatre's bad manners "then what do you want?" He asked

"What in hell are you reading" demanded Quatre

Duo held up the cover of his book "Earth Science volume 2. Its actually quite interesting it expla-"

"Shut up I just asked the title" interrupted Quatre

Heero arrived at the table still clutching the bear and smiling ear to ear.

Quatre grinned nastily "another reject bear from Relena? When are you going to realize she hates you?"

Heero's smile faded "she's shy that's all" he said in a quite voice.

"Shy? Ha, the woman can't stand you" said Quatre

"Who's having woman problems?" Said Wufie as he sauntered up. His usual groupie of girls hanging off his arms "later ladies" he said. The girls giggled and floated away.

"They're back on the same reoccurring topic of the probability of the courtship ritual between Heero and Relena." Said Duo pushing his glasses further up his nose.

"And the fact that Relena hates his guts" said Quatre in a nasty voice

Heero was now silently crying.

"Hey, hey, hey com'on Heero don't cry. Listen if you really want to get with her I'll help you, I mean everyone knows I'm the ladies man around here." Said Wufie patting Heero's back.

Heero looked up and wiped his eyes "R-really" he sniffed.

"Good luck" said Quatre sarcastically

"Quite" said Duo " The chance that Relena will except Heero's offer is like that of the chance that we will have a solar eclipse in the next two million years!" Duo snorted at his own joke as the rest of the boys just sat there and stared at him,

"Shut up baldie" said Quatre finally

Duo stopped laughing and rubbed his shiny, bald head.

"Hey girlfriends what's up?" Said Trowa as he sat down beside Wufie. The mass amount of butterfly clips clicking in his hair. "Don't you like totally love my shirt" he said as he motioned to his shirt were it read 'Girls rule, Boys drool'.

"Trowa you do now that you are a member of the male gender don't you?" Asked Duo

"Uh whatever" said Trowa flicking back his hair

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight" said Wufie " Anyway come to the party at my house on Friday. Relena will be there and when I'm done with you she wouldn't be able to resist you"

"Like that will happen" said Quatre as the bell rang and the boys left for class.

That Friday Heero arrived at Wufie's place and gasped almost everyone from school was there! He walked around the house looking Wufie.

"Hey Heero!"

Heero turned around and smiled as Zechs his best friend walked up his long, blond hair up in its usual pigtails. "Hey" said Heero in return

"Do you still like my sister? You do don't you she's so gross I cant believe you" said Zechs before giving Heero a chance to answer.

"Lay off! I just like her because I do" said Heero a little annoyed with his best friend.

"Hey darling" said Zechs as Noin walked up glaring at Heero through her helmet in return Heero glared at her. "Cant you take that off just for the party" Zechs asked his lover. Noin shook her head and lead him away. "Bye" Zechs called after him.

Heero continued to look for Wufie.

"HA HA" a voice said "Justice will *hic*prevail" A very drunk Trieze stood on top of a table surrounded by beer bottles.

*SMACK* Lady Une smacked Trieze across the face " bad boy I told you not to get drunk were going home" she yelled as she grabbed Trieze's ear and dragged him out of the room as a hysterical Dorothy followed crying.

"Don't fight; please don't fight your going to start a war!"

Heero smiled shook his head and went up stairs. He saw Wufie leaving a bedroom with a sweaty giggly girl. "Thank you babe" said Wufie. The girl giggled even more and walked away. Wufie saw Heero standing there wide eyed.

"D-d-did you?" Asked Heero

"Yeah yeah yeah but this isn't about me its about you and a certain girl" Wufie glanced to were Relena was sitting on a couch drinking a beer. "First your outfit its gotta change"

" But Wufie my whole closet is full of my spandex and tank tops" protested Heero

"Leave it to me" said Wufie pulling Heero in to his room

Ten minutes later Heero emerged from Wufie's room in black jeans and a white muscle shirt with a black silk shirt over top (and here The Third Fate has to drool in her own happy image ^-^)

"Ok " said Wufie "I've taught you what to say and do GO" he pushed Heero in Relena's direction Heero walked over shaking from head to toe.

Wufie sat down on the couch beside Duo "how's he progressing" asked Duo

"Huh?" Said Wufie

"Haws he doing?"

"Oh! Um great he's doing great" said Wufie

"Ohhh Wufie" cooed Trowa " did you teach him that sexy smile of yours?"

"You mean this" said Wufie flashing his special smile. Five girls behind Trowa fainted including Trowa himself.

"Oooooooooooh" squealed Trowa

"What did you do now?" Asked Quatre as he came up Rashid cowering behind him.

"T-tea Master Quatre" said Rashid offering a tray.

"TEA" yelled Quatre "I HATE TEA"(shocking isn't it) Quatre raised his whip and brought it down on Rashid's back.

"P-please Master Quatre you father said you must be nice to me"stuttered Rashid

"I DON'T CARE" yelled Quatre "I HATE MY FATHER!!!"(The Third Fate has died of shock)

Rashid ran away crying like a little girl and Trowa regained conciseness.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh" he squealed "do it again. Do it again"

"shhhhhhhhh" said Wufie I can't hear Heero

On the other side of the room Heero approached Relena "hey Relena" he said

Relena rolled her eyes and turned around "H-Heero" she said "you look-"

"Who cares how I look your sexy enough for the both of us" said Heero

"Really" said Relena moving over and making a spot for Heero.

"Look" cried Wufie pointing at Heero "He's talking to her and she's not running away. I'm a genius!"

"Um like where's Quatre?" Asked Trowa

They were interrupted by loud gunshots from the kitchen people were screaming and fleeing. Quatre emerged holding a gun in each hand looking like a lunatic. "HA HA TAKE THIS FATHER! TELL ME TO CLEAN MY ROOM WILL YOU!?!"

The people in the house were screaming and running from the crazed Arabian. Relena screamed and ran. "No" cried Heero "I was soooooooooo close"

"HA HA HA" *CRACK* Wufie hit the back of Quatre's head with a beer bottle.

"Quick tie him up" yelled Wufie snatching the guns away. As Duo and Trowa tied up Quatre, Wufie laid a hand on Heero's shoulder who was still facing the door Relena had ran out of. "Com'on man, you'll get another chance" said Wufie

"But I was so closeeeeeeeee" whined Heero

"You know Heero" said Trowa coming up "I'm always free" he said running his fingers down Heero's chest.

"I think I'll wait till next time" said Heero taking a step back

"Come on lets go out for breakfast." Said Wufie sling the unconscious blond boy over his shoulder "I'll drive". The boys trooped out to the car.

Except Heero. He faced the way Relena had ran took a deep breath and... "RELENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

THE END

Ok how'd you like it my first fanfic! I'd just like to say this is based on a dream so don't get mad at me for the boys' actions! I'm a Heero fan myself so seeing him like this with Relena is torture!!!

N E way thanks for reading my fic I hope you enjoyed it ^-^