Wow, I wrote part 5 to this series after like a year! So my guess is no one is really that interested. The truth is that I got inspired to write it last night, so I put some idea together and boom! This one may seem a little melodramatic, but all dramatic fics are, so I am following the trend. Please tell me what you thought. Feedback helps the writer know if there is any interest. So read and enjoy.

Disclaimer- I don't own the Characters.



Chapter 5

Monica was still by the desk flipping through the pages of her journal. She winced when she came upon this day. Day 5- the hardest day here so far.

***

Before Monica had any time to react to all of the overwhelming news she had been given, there was a soft knock at her door. Monica, still weak from her conversation with Chandler, literally crawled to the door. Her legs had gone numb to the point that when she would stand, immediately, she would fall to the ground like a baby still learning to walk. Reaching up to the knob from the floor was a complete struggle for Monica. Everything was crashing down. Her life- well, what life? Monica used her weight to turn the knob. When she looked up, she saw one of the nurses standing before her smiling slightly. "Can I help you?" Monica asked still on her knees. She felt she was struggling, at this point, just to live.

"You have a visitor," The nurse replied simply; although, it was evident by the way she looked at Monica that she was concerned.

"I do?"Monica asked surprised and immediately stood up. She didn't fall like before. The word "visitor" gave her strength. It was odd, she knew, but someone wanted to see her. Who was it though?

"Yes, this person is downstairs now. Shall I show them up?" The woman asked.

"Yes, please." Monica pleaded. It wasn't meant to be a plead; however, she was desperate to talk to someone who didn't feel they "understood" her. She was sick of being an open book to the people around her.

Minutes passed as Monica waited impatiently on her bed. What boggled her mind was that she had no clue who was going to walk through that door. As Monica analyzed in her mind who it may be, the door opened and a person who Monica had not expected walked in. "Mom!" Monica gasped in surprise. Why was she here?

"Hello, dear," greeted Judy obviously uncomfortable about where she was.

"Why.. Uh.. Why are you here?"Monica asked nervously. The last person she had expected to see was her mother. How many daughters actually say that? Everyone should expect their mother's support, but Monica did not. She got the disapproving mother who only cared for her older brother.

"Dr. Bing called me a few days ago requesting I come to see you," started Judy who could not even look her daughter in the eye. She knew that if she did, she would give her daughter a look that would tell her she hated her for all of this. She, in fact, did not hate her daughter. She hated what her daughter had become.

"He did, did he? Look, I don't want your pity or your help. You obviously don't want to be here, so you can just leave."Monica told her mother; however not in an angry voice. More of a depressed and solemn voice.

"Ok, I'll leave," Judy said looking away. She was not ready to handle this. Seeing her daughter so distraught so helpless was too much for her to absorb. Her own daughter had become a "junkie", and she could not handle that. After stealing one more look at her depressed daughter's figure, she quickly walked out of the room and shut the door.

When Monica stood up, she felt dizzy. All she wanted to do was to take her drug one more time. Only one more time. She wanted to erase this pain that was flowing within her- erase her memories. She wanted to, for once, feel that high again. Only one more time. "I have to get out of here," she mumbled to herself. She wasn't wanted at home and she wasn't wanted here. Escaping was the only solution. She would find people who could love her or at least try to.

She walked out of her room with a fake smile on her face hoping that anyone who she would come in contact with, would be fooled. They would think she was great. She continued to walk down the halls still smiling. Everything was spinning, she felt dizzy but she was determined. She fought the sickness that was lurking in her. She kept walking, smiling. When she looked behind her, she saw Chandler. She sped up trying to lose him. He was the last person she wanted to look at let alone talk to. But when she sped up so would he. Was he on to her?

Monica made it outside. He was no where in sight, so this was her chance. When no one was in sight, she ran to the fence. She was tired, her breath was getting shorter and her heart was pounding. But again, she fought those feelings. One more time, she repeated to herself again. One more time and all of the pain would vanish.

Finally, Monica made it to her destination- the gate. She quickly climbed over it making sure she was not being watched. No one was in sight. She was over, free. She was finally free from the place that claims they try to help people when they only further hurt them. Free from the man that was the reason she ever got into this mess. Was it his fault? Probably not, but she would blame him because why would she blame herself?

Monica continued to walk down the street towards the city. She knew exactly where to go to make all of her pain go away. It was now a half an hour later and Monica was in front of a beat up apartment building. A through her head were the three simple words: one more time.

"Monica!" Someone called. But who?

Monica turned around and saw who was calling her name. His figure left his car and was walking toward her. "Monica!" he called again.

"Chandler, get away from me!" Monica yelled.

"No! I will not let you do this to yourself!"Chandler yelled back. Damn being professional! He had to stop this girl from making the same wrong decision again. This time, he had the power to stop her. Or at least he hoped that he did.

"Do what to myself exactly?!" Monica screamed in anger.

"Hurt yourself! Every time you turn to "this" for help, you are killing yourself. Killing who you are or want to be!" Chandler yelled back.

"What?! You have got it all wrong. I am making things better! I am going back to where I was wanted and loved."

"But you are not wanted or loved here! You are a pawn to the drug and the dealer! That's all! He doesn't care about you!" This was becoming harder.

"What do you know?! You don't even care about me! My mother doesn't care! My whole family pretends like this never happened! I have nothing!"

"That's not true! They want to see you get better! The want "Monica" back! Not what this drug has made you become."

"What do you know?!"Monica interjected."You don't know me or my life. You just stand there pretending you have me all figured out and you don't! I need this." Monica yelled again while turning towards the door.

"No, you don't. You think you do, but you don't. You mom left the centre crying. Crying because she didn't know what happened to her little girl. She cares, Monica. She cares a lot."

"No, she doesn't!" Monica cried. "My whole life, I have been second best to her. If I wasn't alive she wouldn't care as long as she had Ross."

"That's not true!" Chandler yelled hoping to get some sense into her.

"Yes it is," Monica cried softening. The will power that she had was gone. "No one wants me," Monica whispered.

"I want you," Chandler whispered while putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me,"Monica said while looking away from him. "Please, just leave. Let me screw up."

"I won't let you do this to yourself. You are better than this." Chandler told her softy.

"No, I am not. I am not better than anything. All I want is all of this to stop hurting. I want it all to go away."Monica stated with tears softly making their way down her flushed cheeks. "I am so weak."

"No, you are one of the stronger patients I have ever had. Please, don't give into this urge. Please come back."

"I hate you."Monica whispered to him while letting her body sit on the pavement.

"I know," Chandler said while sitting beside her. "I hate me too."

"Good, you should." Monica pointed out.

"You can blame me all you want, but it won't change a thing." Chandler also pointed out. He was only the bait in this. The reason she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He didn't know how or when she turned into this, but he never meant for that to happen to her. He never meant to hurt her.

"I know. It's all my fault. It's just.." Monica started.

"Easier to blame someone else, I know," finished Chandler while looking into her eyes. "Please come back,"he begged.

"I don't know if I can,"Monica told him and started to cry. "I have ruined it."

"No, you haven't. You hit rock bottom, yes. Now, it's time to bring you back.

"What if I can't come back?" Monica cried."What if.."

"Don't do that. Don't wonder. Monica, you have to take this one day at a time, and I want to be there for you. Even if I am not your doctor anymore. I want to make this all up to you." Chandler stood up, "come on," he said while taking her hand in his and pulling her up on to her feet. "Let's go back."

"Ok,"gave in Monica still holding his hand. "I'll go back."

Chandler, happy that she had agreed to return, hugged her tightly. To his surprise she not only hugged him but she cried in his arms. Chandler held her, stroked her hair, rubbed her back. He did whatever he could do to console her.

Monica, finally pulling herself together, looked up at him. His arms still around her. She looked into his eyes and saw concern but she saw something else to. Something she could not comprehend.

Before either could back away, something brought them together. Desire. Desire to be in each others arms, to lean on each other. Both began to tilt their heads together awaiting the inevitable. Their lips grazed each others, but that wasn't enough. They again went in for another kiss; this time their lips coming together, nibbling, kissing until Chandler's mouth opened. Now, their tongues were intertwining. Again, the emotion that was being passed through their bodies was desire. The kiss began to heat up; both could not stop.

They had pulled away in shock when they had realized what was happening. Chandler just looked at Monica and her facial expression mirrored his own. How could something so wrong feel so good?

"We can't do this," Chandler finally said slowly, wishing he didn't have to.

"I know. I know," Monica repeated as if she were trying to convince herself how wrong it was to want him.

"You're supposed to hate me," whispered Chandler- his arms still around her.

"I know," Monica again replied. "What now?"

"We go back and start over," Chandler replied.

"Ok, but before we start over, why did you follow me?" Monica asked.

"I care about my patients," Chandler replied, stating the obvious.

"That's the only reason?" Monica asked.

"Well, yeah," Chandler smiled. "Why did you listen?"

"Have to do what the doctor tells me," Monica smiled and the two walked toward Chandler's car.

***

The last line of that journal entry read. Thank you, Chandler.

TBC

Btw- the story is just beginning now. *winks* :p