OK, so soon turned out to be almost a year..... I am REAL sorry about that, but when your computer decides to just die.... and when you don't have any money.... Ah well, works now, right? On with the show!
Disclaimers: Well, duh.
The herbs came within an hour, and for as much trust as Vanyel held in Moondance and his knowledge of healing, he still felt his mind prickling in shock. The herbs Tallis had requested were hard to come by, and even though Vanyel knew the Hawkbrothers would never wish harm to come to himself or Stefan (even if they hadn't met him yet), he also knew their laws and beliefs. They staid where they were, and others staid where they were. It wasn't to be cruel, or malicious, it was just their ways. Vanyel understood and respected as much.
Tallis had been obtaining a tub large enough to fit Stefan in comfortably when the messenger hawk came. An eagle owl, it was, which also surprised Vanyel. He wasn't expecting a direct bird from them, but then again, he wasn't expecting Moondance to come in person. The packs of herbs were attached with tassels for the bags. Some were dried, some were fresh, and all were odd shapes and colours he had never seen before. The only root Vanyel recognized was thorntail, used to reduce pain and fever. It was poisonous if not dried, one of the reasons it wasn't grown at Haven. What if some unknowing person took it to relieve a headache and strained it fresh?
Such were the lives of Healers that made Vanyel's mind spin and wonder who the true saviours of Valdemar were.
"Here already?" Tallis has come back, hauling a large looking tub with her. Freshly scrubbed and spotless it was porcelain with metal around its hull. Vanyel wondered who Tallis knew to get this thing hauled to her healing quarters. The Healer seemed to take to herself, and Vanyel had his own suspicions that very few outside of her patients were ever in here.
"Most excellent," Tallis breathed as she surveyed the package. "He got everything we need, including tamerine powder. Your friend is most skilled in the art of herbalism."
Vanyel nodded as he finished taking the tub from the fireplace and to the center of the room. She had said the water needed to be cold, after all. "Moondance is one of the most experienced Hawkbrothers at healing, and despite his age, he knows as much as the elders."
"I'm glad he could help us, then. I know the Hawkbrothers are famous reclusives."
"Almost as famous as yourself?"
She bristled a bit as she mixed together the strange herbs and the powdered tamerine in a mortar and began to grind it together. "No one said I had to be the proverbial Mother to everyone simply because I'm a Healer. The myth of Orianna the Great Mother is simply that. A myth." She moved to place the crushed herbs and powder into a kettle filled with water and set it on the stove. "Healers break too."
Vanyel thought about this a moment and finally nodded. "So do Heralds."
Tallis regarded him a moment before nodding, and motioning to help her fill the tub with the fresh well water that had been brought up with the ordered tub.
****
Dry. Heat. Pain. Stefan breathed in a bit. Gods he hurt. His gut clenched painfully with every tensed breath. He knew there was someone else besides Vanyel in the room with him, wiping his brow and whispering soft thing that he couldn't make out, holding his hair back when he heaved the contents of his stomach up, and still rubbing his back when there was nothing else and the heaves were simply dry. The voice was softer than Vanyel's, the hand uncalloused from years of playing the lute.
Her touched reminded him of those ballads of the wounded soldiers in silent pain and need, an angel disguised to take away what was painful and sickly. The words spoke of pain and a need that Stefan had never felt until tonight. Yes, he had been hungry before when he lived with Gurd, he had been beaten, and he had felt sick. But nothing in the words of those songs had ever touched him in the way of experiencing. He now knew the value of 'torn by swords of fiery flame', and the havoc wreaked by sorrow and pain.
It reminded him of how young he truly was.
And then the ever lingering presence of Van, holding him, cradling after all lucid speech had left Stefan and he was reduced to a whimpering mass of fever, pain and ache. Even after Vanyel had to leave him to get the messaging bird from the Hawkbrothers (though Stefan didn't know why he had to leave), the touch and scent still remained with Stefan, giving him some comfort that his love would come back.
Hours seemed to pass, day, months, and years. Stefan tried to remain awake and alert, tried to talk, to apologize for being so much trouble and almost ruining the Healer's gown, but he was silenced by a cup being pressed to his lips, and being bade to drink its contents. At first, he rebelled. It wouldn't work, he was sure he would just bring it back up. His sides and back still hurt from before. But then her persistent voice was joined with Vanyel's and this Stefan heard clearly.
"Please ashke.... It will help you, I swear it. I love you too much to let anything else hurt you."
Stefan would have sighed if his throat weren't so dry and he weren't so weak, but he conceded and drank. Slowly, as the healer cautioned. The liquid flowed down his throat like a miracle potion. It felt so good, Stefan couldn't imagine how he stood to be in such pain before. But then, who can remember pain once it's over, if only for a little while. It didn't make a reappearance either.
His relief was shortly lived though, as he felt strong arms pick him up. From what seemed to be far away, he felt his clothing being gently pulled away and replaced with something much shorter over his waist and legs, above the knees. He would have blushed horribly if he had the strength to muster the blood to his face. He heard a faint "You can turn around now," which made the ordeal seem a little less embarrassing.
Finally, Vanyel's voice became clear again, close to his ears. "Love, I'm so sorry, but we have to place you in here."
Stefan would have asked why Vanyel was sorry, he was feeling better bit by bit, save for the heat he was still radiating, and what did they have to place him in? He didn't need to ask before he was plunged into the coldest water in his life.
****
"Hold his legs Vanyel, I'll hold his arms!" Tallis shouted above Stefan's hoarse cries and thrashing. Her front hair was wet and clinging to her face and throat as she tried to gather Stefan's flailing limbs and soothe his anguished cries.
"Stefan, Stefan, it's all right.... It only feels so cold because your fever's so high...." She was obviously not taking any joy in this at all. Vanyel would have noted her pained look but he was trying to restrain Stefan's legs without hurting him. The water was cool yes, but not icy as had first been predicted it should be. Too cold and it would hurt him. As it was, Stefan already seemed to be in discomfort.
"How long does he have to be in this thing?" Vanyel shouted acrossed to Tallis.
"Half a candlemark." came the answer.
"What!?" Vanyel shouted, half from surprise, half to be heard.
"Don't worry, once his body absorbs the poultice, his temperature will start to lower, and he'll become accustomed to the water and stop fighting so much."
Vanyel had his doubts as Stefan's hoarse howls and struggling didn't seem to fade a bit, but then who can measure time effectively in times like this? Vanyel held his grip, and tried to talk to Stefan, not sure if he was being heard or not.
Eventually, though not soon enough Stefan's cries softened to whimpers and then ceased altogether, as did his struggling. He was still encased in the water, but by now, much of it was on Tallis and Vanyel as well.
Vanyel's worried and expected silver eyes were on Tallis as she took Stefan's vital signs. "Is he all right?" If he wasn't....
"He's fine, just tired himself out, plus the medicine I gave to him has a drowsy side effect. His pulse is lowering, and I'll bet anything that so is his temperature. Only a little more time to go, and we can take him out, get him into some fresh clothes and you two can cuddle under the covers in my spare room over there." Tallis nodded to the door way on the very left of the room they were in, and offered Vanyel an incredibly rare smile.
He felt himself smiling back as he nodded his thanks.
After the time was up, Tallis went to her linen chest to grab some clothing to fit Stefan while Vanyel pulls his beloved out. Stefan shivered a little and pulls himself closer to Vanyel while Vanyel pulled off the strange short pants, and proceeded to dry Stefan off.
Tallis returned to their side, offering not only clothing for Stefan, but for Vanyel as well. It was then he noticed he too was almost as wet as Stefan had been. He blushed as he took them, thanking the Healer again and made his way toward the bedroom.
Vanyel wondered how late, or early it was, and glanced over his shoulder to the window. The stars were fading, but it was still dark. So it had to be around an hour or so before first light. No doubt Healers kept those hours all the time.
Vanyel pondered that as he tucked Stefan into the bed and under the covers and himself into dry clothes. Tallis was a mystery to him. She kept herself recluse, why? Because she was afraid of getting hurt, falling in love? Vanyel remember how he was after Tylendal died, and after four years the pain had lessened. Not gone away, it never went away, but he let people get close to him again. If Tallis had indeed lost her husband four years ago, wouldn't friendship be what she wanted, needed? Why then didn't she?
Despite her prickly behaviour, and his sexual preferences, he could tell she was pretty, and could be nice when she wanted to. She had, after all, been very tender towards Stefan, wiping his brow and mouth. She had motherly tendencies after all.
Deciding to go outside the room and help her clean up, Vanyel spared another glance and soft kiss to Stefan's sleeping lips, marveling at how cooler he felt than before. "Sleep dearest, I'll be back real soon."
Vanyel's intentions had been to go help Tallis clean up and straighten what he could, but upon arrival, he saw she had taken care of that already.
Tallis looked up to Vanyel, half expecting him to say Stefan's fever had risen again, or the like of. "Is he all right?"
"Yes, Stefan's fine, sleeping like a baby actually. I wanted to see if I could help you clean up, but it appears you've already done so."
"Oh," she said, looking around. "Yes, I've had experience cleaning up messes worse than this, so it wasn't a problem." She looked around a bit, unsure of what to say next. Vanyel felt the same way, but he would have felt bad just leaving her dangling and returning to Stefan.
"Tallis, I-" he started to say, but was cut off quickly by the healer.
"Vanyel, stop. Say no more. I know what you're thinking, what you want to say. But I can't." Vanyel felt confused. Had she misunderstood what he wanted to say? He was about to explain himself to her, but before he could, Tallis continued.
"I can't open myself to people, not like I used to. Things...happen, they change. To accept friendship is like accepting a bottle of poison in a silk bag. At least it is to me. I want to trust, I want to love. But not now. I can't now. Dorian's memory is still very fresh in my mind, and I just...can't. I want to change, but I also want to do my job. And if I'm too occupied with my other life as Tallis Summerland, and not Healer Tallis, my patients can suffer. They will suffer. And if my patient is my friend, or lover, or even my child, I may not have the clearest judgment to...to let them go if need be. And I don't think I can be hurt again like I was before. There wouldn't be anything left. Do you understand what I'm saying, Vanyel Demonsbane?"
The emphasis on his name was evident, and it was clear why she used it. He did understand, more than anyone else, probably. She needed her solitude to heal her heart. 'Who heals the healer?', is the famous proverb among healers, often said jokingly. But here, it held value. The answer was the healers themselves. These were people who had to be self-reliant, completely and totally, and for someone like Tallis, that meant trying to be alone as much as possible.
Not every story has a happy ending. And even as Vanyel hugged Tallis, and even as she let him do so, he realized that aside from himself and Stefan, and her twin, Jovvi, it was unlikely Tallis would open herself up to anyone else for a long, long time.
People go their owns ways. Some fall in love, and some depart from love, and dedicate their lives to serving others. And still sometimes there are some who do both and leave a lasting impression. Vanyel would never forget the words Tallis spoke to him as he hugged her, promising friendship.
"I've had my happiness. Just because my love is dead, doesn't mean I haven't had him. I've had my true love, and it would be selfish of me to wish for anything else when some haven't even had that. You Vanyel, you're true love lays in a bed, asleep from fever and waiting for your embrace. Be happy for me when you kiss Stefan, because I've had that feeling before, too."
What else was there to say, but a parting thanks and a quiet step towards the room and towards Stefan?
****
Ok! Last chapter coming up sooner than a year's time, I promise! So, what did you people think? :) Thanks for all the reviews and your patience on this story!
Disclaimers: Well, duh.
The herbs came within an hour, and for as much trust as Vanyel held in Moondance and his knowledge of healing, he still felt his mind prickling in shock. The herbs Tallis had requested were hard to come by, and even though Vanyel knew the Hawkbrothers would never wish harm to come to himself or Stefan (even if they hadn't met him yet), he also knew their laws and beliefs. They staid where they were, and others staid where they were. It wasn't to be cruel, or malicious, it was just their ways. Vanyel understood and respected as much.
Tallis had been obtaining a tub large enough to fit Stefan in comfortably when the messenger hawk came. An eagle owl, it was, which also surprised Vanyel. He wasn't expecting a direct bird from them, but then again, he wasn't expecting Moondance to come in person. The packs of herbs were attached with tassels for the bags. Some were dried, some were fresh, and all were odd shapes and colours he had never seen before. The only root Vanyel recognized was thorntail, used to reduce pain and fever. It was poisonous if not dried, one of the reasons it wasn't grown at Haven. What if some unknowing person took it to relieve a headache and strained it fresh?
Such were the lives of Healers that made Vanyel's mind spin and wonder who the true saviours of Valdemar were.
"Here already?" Tallis has come back, hauling a large looking tub with her. Freshly scrubbed and spotless it was porcelain with metal around its hull. Vanyel wondered who Tallis knew to get this thing hauled to her healing quarters. The Healer seemed to take to herself, and Vanyel had his own suspicions that very few outside of her patients were ever in here.
"Most excellent," Tallis breathed as she surveyed the package. "He got everything we need, including tamerine powder. Your friend is most skilled in the art of herbalism."
Vanyel nodded as he finished taking the tub from the fireplace and to the center of the room. She had said the water needed to be cold, after all. "Moondance is one of the most experienced Hawkbrothers at healing, and despite his age, he knows as much as the elders."
"I'm glad he could help us, then. I know the Hawkbrothers are famous reclusives."
"Almost as famous as yourself?"
She bristled a bit as she mixed together the strange herbs and the powdered tamerine in a mortar and began to grind it together. "No one said I had to be the proverbial Mother to everyone simply because I'm a Healer. The myth of Orianna the Great Mother is simply that. A myth." She moved to place the crushed herbs and powder into a kettle filled with water and set it on the stove. "Healers break too."
Vanyel thought about this a moment and finally nodded. "So do Heralds."
Tallis regarded him a moment before nodding, and motioning to help her fill the tub with the fresh well water that had been brought up with the ordered tub.
****
Dry. Heat. Pain. Stefan breathed in a bit. Gods he hurt. His gut clenched painfully with every tensed breath. He knew there was someone else besides Vanyel in the room with him, wiping his brow and whispering soft thing that he couldn't make out, holding his hair back when he heaved the contents of his stomach up, and still rubbing his back when there was nothing else and the heaves were simply dry. The voice was softer than Vanyel's, the hand uncalloused from years of playing the lute.
Her touched reminded him of those ballads of the wounded soldiers in silent pain and need, an angel disguised to take away what was painful and sickly. The words spoke of pain and a need that Stefan had never felt until tonight. Yes, he had been hungry before when he lived with Gurd, he had been beaten, and he had felt sick. But nothing in the words of those songs had ever touched him in the way of experiencing. He now knew the value of 'torn by swords of fiery flame', and the havoc wreaked by sorrow and pain.
It reminded him of how young he truly was.
And then the ever lingering presence of Van, holding him, cradling after all lucid speech had left Stefan and he was reduced to a whimpering mass of fever, pain and ache. Even after Vanyel had to leave him to get the messaging bird from the Hawkbrothers (though Stefan didn't know why he had to leave), the touch and scent still remained with Stefan, giving him some comfort that his love would come back.
Hours seemed to pass, day, months, and years. Stefan tried to remain awake and alert, tried to talk, to apologize for being so much trouble and almost ruining the Healer's gown, but he was silenced by a cup being pressed to his lips, and being bade to drink its contents. At first, he rebelled. It wouldn't work, he was sure he would just bring it back up. His sides and back still hurt from before. But then her persistent voice was joined with Vanyel's and this Stefan heard clearly.
"Please ashke.... It will help you, I swear it. I love you too much to let anything else hurt you."
Stefan would have sighed if his throat weren't so dry and he weren't so weak, but he conceded and drank. Slowly, as the healer cautioned. The liquid flowed down his throat like a miracle potion. It felt so good, Stefan couldn't imagine how he stood to be in such pain before. But then, who can remember pain once it's over, if only for a little while. It didn't make a reappearance either.
His relief was shortly lived though, as he felt strong arms pick him up. From what seemed to be far away, he felt his clothing being gently pulled away and replaced with something much shorter over his waist and legs, above the knees. He would have blushed horribly if he had the strength to muster the blood to his face. He heard a faint "You can turn around now," which made the ordeal seem a little less embarrassing.
Finally, Vanyel's voice became clear again, close to his ears. "Love, I'm so sorry, but we have to place you in here."
Stefan would have asked why Vanyel was sorry, he was feeling better bit by bit, save for the heat he was still radiating, and what did they have to place him in? He didn't need to ask before he was plunged into the coldest water in his life.
****
"Hold his legs Vanyel, I'll hold his arms!" Tallis shouted above Stefan's hoarse cries and thrashing. Her front hair was wet and clinging to her face and throat as she tried to gather Stefan's flailing limbs and soothe his anguished cries.
"Stefan, Stefan, it's all right.... It only feels so cold because your fever's so high...." She was obviously not taking any joy in this at all. Vanyel would have noted her pained look but he was trying to restrain Stefan's legs without hurting him. The water was cool yes, but not icy as had first been predicted it should be. Too cold and it would hurt him. As it was, Stefan already seemed to be in discomfort.
"How long does he have to be in this thing?" Vanyel shouted acrossed to Tallis.
"Half a candlemark." came the answer.
"What!?" Vanyel shouted, half from surprise, half to be heard.
"Don't worry, once his body absorbs the poultice, his temperature will start to lower, and he'll become accustomed to the water and stop fighting so much."
Vanyel had his doubts as Stefan's hoarse howls and struggling didn't seem to fade a bit, but then who can measure time effectively in times like this? Vanyel held his grip, and tried to talk to Stefan, not sure if he was being heard or not.
Eventually, though not soon enough Stefan's cries softened to whimpers and then ceased altogether, as did his struggling. He was still encased in the water, but by now, much of it was on Tallis and Vanyel as well.
Vanyel's worried and expected silver eyes were on Tallis as she took Stefan's vital signs. "Is he all right?" If he wasn't....
"He's fine, just tired himself out, plus the medicine I gave to him has a drowsy side effect. His pulse is lowering, and I'll bet anything that so is his temperature. Only a little more time to go, and we can take him out, get him into some fresh clothes and you two can cuddle under the covers in my spare room over there." Tallis nodded to the door way on the very left of the room they were in, and offered Vanyel an incredibly rare smile.
He felt himself smiling back as he nodded his thanks.
After the time was up, Tallis went to her linen chest to grab some clothing to fit Stefan while Vanyel pulls his beloved out. Stefan shivered a little and pulls himself closer to Vanyel while Vanyel pulled off the strange short pants, and proceeded to dry Stefan off.
Tallis returned to their side, offering not only clothing for Stefan, but for Vanyel as well. It was then he noticed he too was almost as wet as Stefan had been. He blushed as he took them, thanking the Healer again and made his way toward the bedroom.
Vanyel wondered how late, or early it was, and glanced over his shoulder to the window. The stars were fading, but it was still dark. So it had to be around an hour or so before first light. No doubt Healers kept those hours all the time.
Vanyel pondered that as he tucked Stefan into the bed and under the covers and himself into dry clothes. Tallis was a mystery to him. She kept herself recluse, why? Because she was afraid of getting hurt, falling in love? Vanyel remember how he was after Tylendal died, and after four years the pain had lessened. Not gone away, it never went away, but he let people get close to him again. If Tallis had indeed lost her husband four years ago, wouldn't friendship be what she wanted, needed? Why then didn't she?
Despite her prickly behaviour, and his sexual preferences, he could tell she was pretty, and could be nice when she wanted to. She had, after all, been very tender towards Stefan, wiping his brow and mouth. She had motherly tendencies after all.
Deciding to go outside the room and help her clean up, Vanyel spared another glance and soft kiss to Stefan's sleeping lips, marveling at how cooler he felt than before. "Sleep dearest, I'll be back real soon."
Vanyel's intentions had been to go help Tallis clean up and straighten what he could, but upon arrival, he saw she had taken care of that already.
Tallis looked up to Vanyel, half expecting him to say Stefan's fever had risen again, or the like of. "Is he all right?"
"Yes, Stefan's fine, sleeping like a baby actually. I wanted to see if I could help you clean up, but it appears you've already done so."
"Oh," she said, looking around. "Yes, I've had experience cleaning up messes worse than this, so it wasn't a problem." She looked around a bit, unsure of what to say next. Vanyel felt the same way, but he would have felt bad just leaving her dangling and returning to Stefan.
"Tallis, I-" he started to say, but was cut off quickly by the healer.
"Vanyel, stop. Say no more. I know what you're thinking, what you want to say. But I can't." Vanyel felt confused. Had she misunderstood what he wanted to say? He was about to explain himself to her, but before he could, Tallis continued.
"I can't open myself to people, not like I used to. Things...happen, they change. To accept friendship is like accepting a bottle of poison in a silk bag. At least it is to me. I want to trust, I want to love. But not now. I can't now. Dorian's memory is still very fresh in my mind, and I just...can't. I want to change, but I also want to do my job. And if I'm too occupied with my other life as Tallis Summerland, and not Healer Tallis, my patients can suffer. They will suffer. And if my patient is my friend, or lover, or even my child, I may not have the clearest judgment to...to let them go if need be. And I don't think I can be hurt again like I was before. There wouldn't be anything left. Do you understand what I'm saying, Vanyel Demonsbane?"
The emphasis on his name was evident, and it was clear why she used it. He did understand, more than anyone else, probably. She needed her solitude to heal her heart. 'Who heals the healer?', is the famous proverb among healers, often said jokingly. But here, it held value. The answer was the healers themselves. These were people who had to be self-reliant, completely and totally, and for someone like Tallis, that meant trying to be alone as much as possible.
Not every story has a happy ending. And even as Vanyel hugged Tallis, and even as she let him do so, he realized that aside from himself and Stefan, and her twin, Jovvi, it was unlikely Tallis would open herself up to anyone else for a long, long time.
People go their owns ways. Some fall in love, and some depart from love, and dedicate their lives to serving others. And still sometimes there are some who do both and leave a lasting impression. Vanyel would never forget the words Tallis spoke to him as he hugged her, promising friendship.
"I've had my happiness. Just because my love is dead, doesn't mean I haven't had him. I've had my true love, and it would be selfish of me to wish for anything else when some haven't even had that. You Vanyel, you're true love lays in a bed, asleep from fever and waiting for your embrace. Be happy for me when you kiss Stefan, because I've had that feeling before, too."
What else was there to say, but a parting thanks and a quiet step towards the room and towards Stefan?
****
Ok! Last chapter coming up sooner than a year's time, I promise! So, what did you people think? :) Thanks for all the reviews and your patience on this story!