Chapter 8 – She doesn't trust me
Author's Notes: Yikes… I just realised that I had missed out typing in this part in the last chapter… so it's going to be very short… anyway… please read and review!
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When I first realised that Quistis was still harbouring deep feelings for Squall, a dreadful feeling came over me.
I can't really describe what it is, except that my heart was heavy and I couldn't think straight.
On the one hand, Squall was a friend, so I couldn't really blame him for what I was going through. Besides, he's already with Rinoa, which means that officially, he was out of the equation.
Friend? Oh yeah. I had become part of the gang after just ten days. They accepted me to be part of them even as my old annoying traits gradually returned. They made my life at the Garden much more bearable, fun even. I would wake up each day and be truly anticipating what it holds for me… unlike in the past where I would dread the thought of facing yet another dreary reminder of my mundane existence… resulting in my habitual tardiness. Too profound to have come out of my mouth? It's all thanks to the sheer number of hours I had clocked in at the library while Quistis locked herself up in the dorm.
I wanted so badly to force her to open up to me, to pour out her troubles instead of keeping them inside! She could very well suffer from chronic depression if this carries on.
But… a big but… I know how it is when there's too much pain inside. If you can't even see what's right in front, how are you supposed to share your hurt with someone whom you can't trust?
How do I know that she doesn't trust me? Simple… would you place your wounded heart in the hands of one who caused you to lose your Instructor's License? Who allowed himself to be manipulated and attack you and your good friends?
Point a gun to my head, and I would still say no.
As I am realising and saying this, I could visualise a mental picture of my heart being slashed into tiny pieces by my Hyperion… blood oozing thickly from it.
To ignore that unwanted feeling, I asked Zell to train with me at the forests outside of Balamb Garden.
"Say, Zell. Would you be a pal and go training with me at the Acauld Plains? You know… those forests surrounding our Garden?" I sauntered up to him while he was practising his shadowboxing in front of the Training Centre.
"Sure, why not? I'm tired of the monsters in the Training Garden anyhow. But why didn't you ask Quisty, since she's your Tutor and all?"
"Oh, she has to mark those numerous tests she had set for me in the past three days. I feel like stretching my bones a little to get rid of the bookworm smell…" I scrunched up my face in disgust, but pat myself on my back mentally for being able to come up with such a convincing lie.
"Argh… I wouldn't want to be in YOUR shoes. Awright, grab your Hyperion and meet me at the front gate in ten minutes, would that be okay?"
"Thanks, bud." I looked at him gratefully.
"Yuck. You had better revert to you're a**hole mode as soon as possible. I get the shivers when you talk in that oh-so-faked-courteous way."
"Sure, Chicken-wuss!" I replied in a ridiculously exaggerated manner. "Thank Hyne for that… now I can breath easily."
"That's more like it. I don't like fakes… I'll pulverise ya if you pull that one on me again! Laterz!"
He walked towards the library, presumably to inform his girlfriend of his agenda. Hah.
Better get my Hyperion… I wouldn't want to be late, even if it wasn't Quistis' lesson…
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WL: Yuck… I can't believe the extent of mushiness my words can get…
"Thanks buddy!" "Will you be a pal…" Urgh… so totally Out of Character. Supporters of the Seifer hates Zell and vice versa camp, please do not flame me. But see, here are my reasons why they had the potential to become the best of buddies (but only in my series, you hear?):
1.Squall is too caught up in his and Rinny's world, so naaaaah~~~ he wouldn't work. And he's too serious.
2.Irvine is too flirtatious... and he's not really the kind who would truly understand how torturous theory tests are.
3.They look good training together.
4.My previous story, Return to Me, mentions them having a better relationship than the others… maybe because their Angels were close too?
5.Zell would probably be the least likely to blab to others if he found out about Quisty's feelings for Squall, as is Seifer.
6.Zell is more mature because he had lost something precious. He could identify with Seifer's loneliness, emptiness, blah, even thought Seifer did not really spell it out.
I can go on and on… but this isn't Zell's story. Sorry I spent so much space on him… I'm such a diehard of his.
I like to see these two as buddies, but I don't want this to become a yaoi (Read: Boy x Boy) fic. Main reason is that I like Quisty too much to let her become the lone person without a man… and I like my own Celestine as well. Narcissistic, ain't I?