Chapter 11 – Wake up…

    Author's Notes: I know, I know… I've been neglecting this fic of mine lately, due to a little distraction also known as "Christmas Carols FF8 style"… it's just that the air is floating with Christmas Carols booming out from everyone's stereos, and I wanted to add a little humour into my life before I get driven to lunacy by my terrible workload… sigh. How I wish I were someone who lived in FF8 world… however heavy your workload, you still have time to play Triple Triad! *laugh*  Yeah, you can probably confirm by now that the poisoning of FF8 (and most importantly, Zell) in my system has completely saturated all the living cells in my body. So… disregarding my mental state, please enjoy this chapter, and reviews! Keep them coming. Even if you think it sucks, tell me what part of it is so bad! I need to know so that I can continue annoying people with it… just kidding.

***Q***

    Dear Hyne… I asked you to grant me the prayer that he passes the SeeD exam… but of what use would it be if he becomes a human vegetable for the rest of his life? I beseech you… please let him wake up, or else I'll… I'll…

     "Quisty…" A hand touches me softly on the shoulder, jolting me out of my inner thoughts as I jumped with a start. "It's already been four days since you've been in here, holding his hand. Why don't you go back and take a rest, have a shower first? It isn't any good to waste yourself away. We'll help you take care of him… and I'll tell you as soon as he wakes up! Don't worry!"

    I glanced at the hand, unable to lift my eyes up to its owner.

    Don't worry? I'm afraid that's beyond my ability… how could I possibly stop worrying about him when the threat of his death hangs so closely in the air? I swear that I can smell the pungent breath of the Grim Reaper chasing closely at his heels…

     "I'm alright, Rin. I just want to be here when he wakes up."

     "But you've not taken any rest, nor have you eaten much for these few days!"

     "How can I, when he's struggling with the certainty of taking the next breath? I said I'm fine, and that's that!" I yelled at her, and felt her hand on my shoulder tremble a little. Immediately, I felt a sick wave of guilt wash over me as I realised what I had done. I had totally forgotten how words could be sharper than the blade of a knife at times.

     "I'm alright, Rin… and I'm sorry for raising my voice at you… I'm terribly jumpy because I couldn't deal with the exasperation that comes, knowing that I can't do anything to help him… Just let me alone with him, if that's okay with you?" I forced myself to look up at her, and gave a little wavering smile… silently pleading with her to agree to my request. I knew that it would be hard for her not to show anxiety at my plight, for at heart Rin was an angel in every respect of the word.

     "Sure, Quisty. But make sure you call us immediately if you need anything, okay?" Warmth reflected in her beautiful caramel eyes even though she was still biting her lip, a lingering effect of my previous outburst.

     "Thank you, Rin." Surprising even myself, I rose up from my chair beside the bed and gave her a hug, which she returned tightly a moment later.

     "Okay then, I'll leave you alone with him."

    She walked towards the door and threw a concerned look at me before turning the knob. The door opened long enough for Selphie's loud voice anxiously enquiring after my well-being to drift through the gap, before it was shut out by the closed door.

    I breathed a sigh of relief, and resumed my position beside the hospital bed while holding his hand clasped in both of mine.

    He looks like a child when he's asleep… I thought to myself as my eyes travelled from his fine, blond hair a lightest shade of gold to the similarly coloured eyebrows, shaped in such a way to give his face a sense of masculine sharpness, as did his piercing eyes. But they were closed now, obscured by his eyelids, whose ends lay the longest eyelashes I've ever seen. I wanted so much to reach out and touch them with my fingers, but couldn't bear to take my hands away from his.

     Perching proudly on his face was his nose, so used to being held high up in the air before the amazing transformation in him took place. I still wonder to myself what had been the cause of that. I'd like to think that I was part of it…

    And finally, the delicately shaped lips, so used to turning up at the ends into a smirk, or cracking a joke, giving a hearty laugh… how I've come to get used to all of them, only to be faced by a disheartening silence now.

   The same silence hangs oppressively in the air… I had never wished more than ever to hear his voice calling my name…

    I can still remember all too clearly what happened that day, resulting in his comatose state… even though the memory hurts me to no end, there was nothing I can do to stop myself from reliving it time after torturous time…

    I was in charge of recording the names and serial numbers of the captives, to be compiled into a report and presented to President Caraway. It was also my duty to note if any of the exam candidates were disregarding their orders. That was a rather difficult task to achieve, though, as there was nothing much to do anyway.

    What a stupid waste of resources… I had thought snidely to myself.

    Finally, as the truck was loaded to the hilt with the last batch of captives, I noticed that one of them and Seifer was missing. We had previously done a headcount at their base as a preventive measure and check against escapees.

     "Hey… Water Lily. Have you seen Seifer Almasy around?" I called out to one of the cadets who were in the same squad as Seifer.

     The girl looked at me questioningly before giving her reply. "He was one of the last ones to round up the bombers. Strange… I thought that he should have been here by now, as it had been twenty minutes ago that I saw him 'escorting' the last bomber from the base. Oh… I think that's the one… but where's Seifer?"

    I looked towards the direction she was pointing at, only to see a shabbily dressed young man running up to us, shouting something… but it was too far away to hear his words.

    Sure enough, there was no Seifer behind him. Alarm bells started ringing loudly in my head, for Seifer definitely would not abandon a captive without a very important reason.

     "…Bomb! …explode!" He could only gasp these words out as his breath came out in spurts.
     "WHAT? Where?" I grabbed him forcefully. "And where's the guy who was guarding you?" I demanded as a horrible feeling gradually sunk in me.

     "Over at the vacant shop! He went to warn the children playing in front of the shop that a bomb was going off!"

    Without another word, I pushed the man towards Water Lily, and started rushing towards the bombsite.

   Too late... Too slow… Too ill-timed... Too careless...

    Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

    Seifer going up to the child, carrying her in his arms.

    The garbage can exploded in a blinding flash of light. As the smoke billowed, chokingly black in its density, powdered plaster of the white concrete walls erupted in clouds of dusts that showered on every head in the near vicinity as pieces of shrapnel went off in every direction imaginable.

    One big piece flew towards Seifer as if on a set course of motion, hitting him on the back of his head.

     He had shielded the child with his body as the blast happened, thus she escaped unharmed.

    He managed to push her away before falling on his face, sprawled haplessly on the ground like a broken doll.

    I screamed his name as he took the fall.

    I think I saw him giving me a look as I screamed, then collapsed in a dead faint.

    He is in a comatose state now. The doctors had said that he suffered from concussion of the brain.

    There was a chance of his recovery… not an optimistic one by any count.

    I will not give up trying to wake him. I can't bring myself to write him off, just like that. He's still so young, so handsome… his life full of promise… if only he would open his eyes and welcome it in!

     "Seifer Almasy! I order you to wake up now! Hadn't you promised perfect compliance to my orders? And hadn't you agreed to be early for all your appointments, especially with me? Well, you're four days late! An unforgivable fault! I will not let you off easily if you don't answer me now! Wake up! Wake up!!!" I shook at him violently, as if it could really make him receptive to my shouts. Still his eyes remained stubbornly closed.

    My tears came gushing out in floods. I pummelled him with my clenched fists, sobbing my heart out, pouring my immense grief along. I couldn't remember ever crying in front of anybody before… and the first time I did, the sole member of that audience wasn't even aware of it. What a bitter irony it was…

     "Don't you know that you're hurting me? Why won't you respond to my words, my cries?" I leaned against the bed in great weariness as the toll of the past four days fell upon me in a rush.

     I did not know when I fell asleep, but eventually I did, resting my head against the top of the metal guard as I held his hand steadfastly in mine, fearful of letting go.

***S***

    What? I feel like I'm drowning in a vat full of dark, murky water. It seals off all my senses, making my head feel terribly stuffed up. I shout, but it only makes the dark water flow into my mouth and choke up my words. I can't even move around, as the currents pressed strongly against my limbs and suppressed the movement.

    Someone calls my name; a voice that I've grown so used to hearing that hardly a day goes by that I do not long to hear it.

    I can't make out most of the words, but I know that she's in pain, for it reflects in such a raw way in her tone.

    There's no way I can allow that to happen.

    Something warm covers my hand… a comforting touch relaying the caring nature of its owner. I want so desperately to grasp back at it, but I barely have the strength to open my eyes, let alone move my fingers.

    However difficult it is, I must try. I shouldn't continue sleeping like this.

    If I don't, I may lose the chance to wake up. Forever.

    Do I want to? I've failed her again by failing to follow my orders.

    But I must. It may be a struggle for me to open my eyes and face the hard truth… but I can't avoid it any longer. I have never been one to tolerate running away from the face of adversity, and I'm not about to begin now.

   And I must tell her how sorry I am to let her down.

   The harsh light assaults my sensitive pupils as I force the lids open.

    Groggily, I could make out the shape of the utilitarian florescent lights.

    My head pounds in an unrelenting way, creating a deafening noise that torments the brain.

    I want to speak, but my mouth was sealed shut, dry as a rock. My tongue seemed to have swelled to twice its size, such that the mouth could barely contain it.

   There was something covering my hand, and faint snoring noises could be heard from the left side of my bed.

    I tried to look at the source of the sounds with much difficulty, cracks sounding from my neck muscles as I moved my head.

    She leans against the metal guard of the high bed, holding my hand tightly as she slept. However, I know that it wasn't a peaceful one, for the loveliness of her little face was disturbed by a small but deep line between her brows.

    The glint of her honey-golden locks caught my eye as it captured the light of the florescent tube and reflected it prettily.

     "Seifer… wake up… please…" She mumbled in her dreams as a thin line trickled from the corner of an eye, adding yet another to the faintly visible stains already imprinted on her cheeks.

    My chest constricts tightly at the realisation that I was the cause of those stains.

    A medicinal smell drifted into my nose. It was only then that I realised where I was, and noticed the various tubes hooked to my arms, nose and chest.

    I wanted to lift a hand so that I could touch her, and tell her that I had awakened.

    My arm was much to weak to do anything much… the best I could manage was a wriggle of the fingers.

    I tried twitching the fingers of the hand she held clasped in hers.

    She didn't seem to sense it. Too bad… Not that she was to blame for it, though… the movement was simply too light for her to feel it.

    I forced open my mouth, the lips so parched that they were cracked and bleeding. It was painful, alright.

     "Q…Quisty…" I could only manage a croak, hoping against hope that she would be able to hear it clearly enough.

     "Mmm…." She replied, shifting the position of her head on the metal guard. It mustn't have been too comfortable… as I can imagine.

     "Q…Quisty…" I ventured with yet another hoarse whisper… this time a little louder than the last.

    Still, there was nary a reaction from her, except for a few noisy snores and mumbles of "Mmm…."

    I was about to give up and rest for a little while to conserve energy.

    She bolted up as if she had received an electric shock.

    Disbelief flickered across her face. As her mind started to register the fact that I was well and truly alive, a heartbreaking mixture of hope and pleading started painting her eyes. As if trying to ask if what she was seeing in front of her was true, and not just a dream.

    I could hardly stop the flush of anger and remorse that coursed through my body as I saw what I had done to her.

     "S…Seifer? You're awake? Is this true? Please tell me it isn't a dream… but it hurts when I pinch myself… you're really awake then! Thank heavens! What should I do now? I… have to… call the nurse… no wait… the doctor! Or should I get you a glass of water….?"

     "Calm down, Quisty. I'm alright now! Take your time."

     "Wait here while I call the doctor!" She said, and ran out in search of the doctor while forgetting to close the door in her hurry.

    *Sigh…* I had hoped to spend a little quiet time with her… maybe I shouldn't have woken her up in such a hurry… but just the thought of her in distress wrings me out. I couldn't stand it at all, especially since I'm the only reason for it.

     "Hurry up, Doctor!" Her voice preceded her presence in the room.

     "Will do, Miss Trepe." Said the doctor, heading straight for me with a stethoscope poised in readiness in his hand.

     "How are you doing, young man?" He enquired after me. A kindly looking grandfather type, he tried distracting me with a little talk while the coldness of the stethoscope touched the bare skin on my chest.

    I winced a little, then replied,

     "A little heavy-headed, parched throat, and soreness all over, but other than that, I'm fine."

    He listened intently to my heartbeat for a few moments, while a nurse took my pulse rate, looking at a wristwatch.

     "Don't worry, Miss Trepe. Even if he is still a little weak, he only needs a couple days of bed rest, plenty of fluids, and he'll be out of here in no time at all. Now, I suggest that you go back and take a much needed rest, or it'll be you whom I'm worried about." With that, he patted her on the arm, and walked off.

     "I'll leave you for a moment." The nurse said with a knowing smile, and left the room as well.

     "The doc's right, Quisty. You have to go back and rest." I looked at her with worry and admonishment. "How could you neglect yourself in such a way?"

      "But… I was so worried! The only thing that went through my mind was how important it was for me to stay by your side! I thought that I would never see your eyes open again, and I… I…" Her eyes started to redden.

     "Alright, Quisty. It's my fault. But do me a favour, and take care of yourself. Promise me that? Or I'll sleep back into that coma and never wake up again!"
    I knew it was cruel of me to threaten her in such a way… even more so considering that I had caused it… but it was the only way I could think of to make her go back.

     "Don't ever say that again! Never! I'll go and have a rest, shower, eat, a spa even… and pamper myself to death, if that's what you want!" Her voice quivered with rage and hurt at my words.

   I know it cuts you, Quisty… I'm really sorry… but I only said it for your own good.

    "Thank you! I'd be happy if you can do that for me!"

     "…Alright. I'll come by tomorrow again to see how you're doing." She turned to leave with reluctance influencing her every step.

    Just before she did, I grabbed her hand, and planted a soft kiss on it.

    She turned back to look at me, confusion written all over her face.

     "That was your reward for staying by my side." I remarked with my trademark upturning of the mouth.

     "You scared the hell out of me!" She yelled as her cheeks burnt furiously with a crimson shade, stumbling out of the room and closing the door noisily behind her.

    With a satisfied grin, I laid my head back onto a pillow as gently as I could, wincing a little as it touched the tender spot that was struck by a piece of the flying stuff.

    I'd better get some rest before some very boisterous fellas come visiting tomorrow… I can think of at least two such persons. Maybe I should put up a "Do Not Disturb" sign at the door and allow only certain people in.

    My thoughts started to drift away from me as the effects of the medicine started to come over me, making the mind all drowsy and sleepy… I might as well succumb to it…

    Author's notes: A pretty long chapter, don't you think? Maybe to make up for the negligence I had previously subjected my poor fic to… I bow my head in remorse…. ); Please review (I know this is the second reminder already….)!!!