Chapter 3

My mind has been in disarray for more then a week, a thousand different thoughts passing at the same time leaving me in a state where normal thought is next to impossible. To put it as simply as possible, my mind is divided in two. One half wants to think of nothing but the classes I'm taking and to concentrate on a finding a way not to fail psychology while the other half believes that I should only pay attention to one thing—Daisuke and only Daisuke. And I believe that the latter is defeating the former for I can not think of anything besides Daisuke.

What I saw that night invades my daydreams as well as the nighttime ones. I can't go throughout one day without thinking about what I had seen. Images of Daisuke in tight black leather haunt me like a ghost in an old abandon house and questions of who that man was plague me worse then those mice in the Athens.

I hated him. I didn't know who he was and I really didn't care, all I knew was that I hated him. Silver Hair, I hated him with an all-consuming passion of jealousy and envy. He had what I wanted and never knew I wanted until that night. He had Daisuke, he's had Daisuke and all I had were dreams. I knew I'm being unreasonable, I had my chance and passed it up. I've known Daisuke longer and never did anything; I had no reason to hate him. But hate is rarely justified and this hate is somewhat petty anyway. I don't care either.

The night that I had came home from the nightclub was one of the worst nights ever. Sleep eluded me, even after I had relieved myself. All I could think about was Daisuke and what he did to me without even touching me, and what I could have done to him if I could have touched him. That's where the envy and jealousy began; I wanted Daisuke and I could not have him because someone else had him.

If you think unrequited love is a bitch, try unrequited lust.

There was nothing I can do about it. So I tried to think of something else, like if Daisuke was angry with me for watching him and Silver Hair. I'd been wondering that for as long as I'd been thinking about what Daisuke and that man were doing. When I had watched them Daisuke seemed not to care, seemed to almost except the fact that he was being watched with an air of indifference that I can't even describe, or maybe I don't want to describe it. That indifference upset me, Daisuke was never indifferent about anything. He always reacted; it was part of whom he was. It was a trait we both share, but there he was letting me watch him have sex. It was so confusing. So would he be angry with me? I didn't think I knew him enough anymore to answer that.

***

On Sunday I saw him, he was walking down the streets towards his home and I was walking towards mine. We did live relatively near each other. I had just been too chicken to go over to his. So I wasn't very surprised when I saw him, I was surprised to see how he was dressed though. A tight midnight blue crop top and tight black jeans riding low on his hips, every move his muscles made could be seen through his clothes—do you know how perfect his body is! The hems of his pants were brushing lightly over his black boots. He was wearing long gloves that cut off at his fingers and at ended at mid-forearm and a spiked bracelet hung loosely from his right wrist. The sunlight caught the silver metal that intertwined with his black collar (which was fastened over crop top's turtleneck) and made it shimmer.

I had run towards him, waving, deciding it was time to confront him and at least this way I was in public and relatively safe from murder. Daisuke's not dumb enough to kill in public, too many witnesses or so he once told me after we had seen that action movie. He looked at me, dark red lashes framing beautiful brown eyes, and his head titled a bit as he regarded me quietly. Regarding me quietly? How much had he changed during my absence!

"Taichi, it's been a while." I noticed it immediately; the wrong-ness of the sentence and my mind quickly fixed it. The way it should sound, the way it would have sounded before.

"Taichi-sempai! Hey, been a while!" But that wasn't the way it was, the energy was gone, the honorific was gone. Everything was missing, everything had changed. It was almost like I was meeting a new person, a new person who looked exactly like Motomiya Daisuke.

"Yes it has…" I blushed slightly, remembering that night. It was a good sign that he had not brought it up, I supposed. He wasn't angry but he didn't care either. I couldn't leave it like that. I had to say something, had to fix it. Fix what? I didn't know. "I'm sorry. About the other night I'm mean."

"S'okay." He shrugged and shoved his hand in his pocket, fishing out a cigarette pack and pulling one stick out. I noticed his still black fingernails (the nail polish made his fingers look very delicate) and shimmer silver rings as his fingers carried the cigarette up to his awaiting lips—what beautiful full lips. When he lit the cigarette he inhaled deeply, seeming to savor it and then exhaled a thin line of smoke, his dark eyes never leaving my face. I stared back, stunned.

"When you start smoking?" He shrugged casually taking another drag, this one not as long as the last.

There was a long silence where I had to control myself from fidgeting. I had no idea what to say but I didn't want him to leave. And the way his brown eyes were settled on me was unnerving. I'm not sure how to put it, how to describe the way he was looking at me. The only thing I can really say is that the warmth that use to be in those eyes was not there anymore. They were just empty and I missed the warmth that he used to look at me with.

He started walking and I followed him. I think he was expecting me to and that was why he said nothing. We walked the last two blocks to his apartment complex then into the elevator, up to his floor and right to his apartment. It had not changed much over the years, expect I swear that a sort of misery clung to the walls that wasn't there on my last visit.

"So, who was he?" I finally asked the question that's been nagging me from the back of my mind. He looked at me, a strange knowing smile appearing on his pretty face.

"Aoyama Kyo." He said. For some reason I had been checking his face, looking for any sign that he was in love with that man, as he said his name. But there wasn't and that surprised me. So was Silver Hair—this Aoyama Kyo—some one important in his life or was just a one-night stand?

"Your boyfriend?" I asked. He shrugged his shoulders again, taking another drag of his cigarette.

"Yeah I guess." He closed his eyes for a moment and that was when I finally saw an emotion pass across his face—sadness, one that caused him so much pain. It was gone as quickly as it came and his eyes opened to look upon me again.

"You guess?" Yeah, I had to pry. You think I wouldn't after this hell week I've been having?

"We have a strange relationship." He smiled but it was void of any mirth, it was more of a cold sarcastic smile or was it more of an ironic one? Maybe a little bit of both. "But I am exclusively seeing him."

I watched him move towards the ashtray sitting on the coffee table, finally putting out his cigarette and taking a seat in one of the chairs and that was when I finally sat down as well. He looked at me in that same way he had been looking at me for most of the meeting.

"So he doesn't see you exclusively?" I asked. He looked at me and shook his head, smiling just a tiny bit. At least it wasn't like the last one.

"Saa…" He said. "I don't keep tabs on him."

***

"I wouldn't know, I haven't talk to Daisuke since he dropped out of high school." My head shot up and I stared at Takeru in shock.

"He dropped out?" I asked and both blondes nodded at me.

"You didn't know?" Yamato asked as he flipped through his psychology book. We were having a study session or as I liked to call it "operation keep Taichi form failing". Yamato had always been better in psychology so he offered to help while Takeru was using Yamato's kitchen to bake Takaishi-san a surprised cake, for no reason besides the fact that he wanted too.

"Well obviously I didn't if I'm surprised!" I retorted, Yamato gave one of those looks of pity he likes giving me so much.

"He dropped out about a year and a half ago, during the spring semester I believe." Takeru continued glancing at the clock on the wall. "None of us know why, we tried to get him to go back but he wouldn't listen. We even tried getting Ken to help, since you know how much Daisuke values his opinion, but Ken wouldn't. He said Daisuke has his reasons and he had no right to tell him what to do."

"So no one knows why he did it?" Takeru shook his head.

"Well, none of us know. But I think Ken does and is acting stupid."

I nodded somewhat numbly. Daisuke had dropped out of high school and I hadn't known. It surprised me. I mean, yeah sure, people dropped out of high school all the time. Hell! Some never go, it's not mandatory. But Daisuke had wanted to go, I remember him telling me once when he was in junior high, wearing that green uniform just as sloppily as I had.

"I'm going to get my diploma for both high school and college."

"Oh and what about the J-league?"

"I'll do that too! But I won't be playing soccer forever and that's not my only goal in life. I'm gonna see the world! And for that I need money and that means I need a degree!"

I remembered the way his eyes would glow when he'd talk about his dreams, no not just his eyes his whole face would light up. He would laugh and talk about all the things he'd do with us. He was going to take Ken around the world with him because he knew the bluenette would enjoy the traveling through the different cultures. He would go the J-league with me and together we would lead our team to great victories until we became world champions, but not just any world champions, legendary ones. He'd take his sister to New York where she'd become a great dancer and make his family proud. There were so many dreams, so many things he wanted to do. His whole body would pulsate with the desire to achieve those dreams.

And then I thought back to the day before when I had seen Daisuke on the street. How dull his eyes had been. Just by looking at him I could tell all those dreams had been extinguished. It hurt; it made me mad, what could have extinguished his dreams.

"Forget about it, Yagami." I blinked and looked at Yamato who was looking at me like he could read my mind. Ten to one he probably could, he always could. "Daisuke isn't going to listen, don't pester him. It's obvious he doesn't even want to see us anymore, he did break away from us. He's not going to want you prying and bothering him."

I stared at Yamato, he was probably right. He probably would understand Daisuke the most. They had some things in common, just like Daisuke and I had things in common. But this new Daisuke was so different that Yamato could have been wrong. There had to be a reason that kept Daisuke from doing what he really wanted. Something must have made him change so drastically and I wanted to know what it was! And I especially wanted to help him.

"Yeah but you forget Yamato," I smiled at the blond. "I'm his sempai. He holds respect and admiration for me and that means he'll listen to me."

Yamato rolled his eyes and Takeru shook his head—amused. I glared at them, making it clear through that glare that nothing was going to change my mind. They seemed to except that because Yamato began to flip through his notes starting up the study session again.

***

I went to see Daisuke again. I remember it feeling like I was about to go take a leap into the ocean. I took a deep breath and knocked, moments later Daisuke had opened the door. Leaning against the frame staring up at me, he didn't even look surprised. Well he may have been at first, see he had been wearing dark sunglasses over his eyes when he had opened the door, but then he had taken them off after a second or two so I didn't exactly get see the reaction in his eyes, if there was any.

Again Daisuke was dressed in clothes I would have sworn my life upon his never wearing, though this outfit was more 'conservative', the term is used loosely. A violet silk shirt, un-tucked and halfway unbutton showing off his well tone chest, over those raver pants. You know, the tight ones with a belt fastened to each leg and a third belt fastened to both. He wasn't wearing boots this time, obviously since he was inside, but he was still wearing the collar. It seemed he'd never take it off.

Looking at him made me realize that I'd never have a wet dream that didn't involve him again. He was beyond sexy. I wanted to touch him so badly. Forbidden Fruit is always more tempting but Daisuke had risen it to even more unfair levels with this flaunting of his incredible sexiness.

"Taichi, what a pleasant surprise." He said stepping out of the way. For some reason I was wondering if the surprise really was pleasant or if he was just lying to me. Did he really want me there? It was too late to turn back anyway so I pushed the thought all the way into the back of my head where it would probably have tormented me later.

"I'm not disturbing you am I?" I asked stepping inside and toeing off my shoes then remembering my manners; I called out, "Ojamashimasu!"

"No one's home, don't worry about it." Daisuke said walking passed me. I followed him deeper inside and looked around. Did you know Daisuke has a really nice ass? "Parents are working."

"And Jun?" I asked taking a seat on the recliner. Daisuke looked at me for a moment, something flashing across his eyes. It had been too quick for me to catch, but I did know it was nothing positive.

"She doesn't live here any longer." He said, "Hasn't lived here for a year and a half." I blinked, that had been around the same time that Daisuke had dropped out of high school. I decided to voice this.

"About the same time you dropped out." He nodded his head quietly but I could tell he wasn't too happy with me for bring that up. "Why did you drop it?"

He shrugged. "Interfered with my new lifestyle."

I snorted. "Some lifestyle." He glared at me. So maybe I shouldn't have said that.

"You have no right to judge what you know nothing about." Daisuke shot back still glaring. And I winced at the coldness in his eyes. He was right; I had no right to say anything. I felt, went to college and forgot about the younger Chosen save for Takeru and Hikari for obvious reasons.

"Suma na." My apology came out as a small whisper. There were two reason for this, embarrassment and because it was always really hard for me to apologize. But Daisuke's smile made it all better; waving it off casually and telling me it was okay. At least he hadn't changed so much that he lost that warm forgiving side of his personality.

"You want anything to drink." He asked and I shook my head as I tired to decide what to say next. There was a part of me that told me to forget formalities, pleasantries and niceties, to just tell Daisuke what I wanted to tell him. But the other part of myself, which had noticed that Daisuke was no longer the same person he had been before, told me to watch myself, not to say anything that would offend the redhead. To be honest I was very confused. Which was the best course of action? I was intimately familiar with the former but the latter sounded like the correct way to go…I didn't know and it frustrated me.

Would it hurt to just directly ask? I wondered that greatly. I wanted to know, why couldn't I just him ask and see what happened? It was the way I've done things all my life. Why change now?

"Daisuke—why?" He looked at me blinking in confusion.

"Why what?" I sighed, controlling my frustration.

"Why this big change?" I looked straight into his eyes. "Make me understand what could make you wanna give up on all those dreams?"

"It's really nothing of importance." He replied after a long time. He seemed to have been fighting with something within himself. It was so painful, so frustrating, to see that inner turmoil and know I couldn't do anything to fix it because he would not let me.

"Sure it is. Tell me." I looked at him and he looked back, I could see his eyes hardening.

"Why do you care?"

"Because I'm your friend. Your sempai remember?" I smiled at him, trying to convey all those warm feelings of caring and so on. "It's my job to worry and care about you."

He looked at me for a moment (a spilt second really) and then smiled, it was a twisted sort of smile. A little unnerving.

"Sempai?" he chuckled and it coincided well with that smile. "I'm not very sure about that…"

"Daisuke, what the hell are you talking about?" I snapped but that really was because I was so unnerved by him. His eyes narrowed for a second then he smiled at me, this smile was different—more mischievous.

For a moment he just stood there, he seemed to be considering something or so I thought. Then he raised his hands and unfastened the black and silver collar from around his neck, placing it on the coffee table and just stared at it. I blinked more then a little confused but had no real time to think of anything because a second later he was on top of me. His legs, bent at the knees, were straddling mine, his arms around my neck as he leaned forward, his warm breath against my ear.

"I've noticed the way you look at me," He breathed and I could do nothing more then gasp at the feel of him against me. Then he said, just before closing his mouth over my earlobe, with a touch of sarcasm: "Taichi-sempai".

"D-Daisuke!" I stammered beyond shocked. This was unreal! Daisuke couldn't be doing what he was doing. I was having hallucinations, daydreams, night dreams, something! "You can't be doing this…"

He hummed a question at me, though I didn't really think he wanted an answer. His hands moved from around my neck to move slowly down my body and that was when I finally came out of my state of shock. Gently shoving him away, I took hold of his hands, stopping them form their wanderings. He looked at me, amused though a bit disappointed. He covered up the latter pretty quickly.

"Daisuke, you can not do this!" I said trying my damnedest to be stern and knew I was failing miserably. That had felt too good to be ignored so easily.

"There's no point in deny this Taichi." He said twisting his wrists in my hands until he was free. "I can see it on your face—transparent as glass—you want me. You've wanted me since you saw me at the club. And every time you've seen me since all you've wanted to do is touch me." He took hold of my hands and maneuvered them under his shirt—Kami-sama his skin is soft. "I'm giving it to you, sempai, your lustful desire is coming true."

His lips brushed against mine as he continued to guide my hands across the plains of his chest and stomach, strong and well toned from years of soccer and still as soft as the skin of a newborn babe. I closed my eyes, feeling him against me, needing his touches and kisses, and I almost fell that time but then I remembered him. He came out of recesses of my mind like all unwanted memories: at the wrong moment.

My eyes opened and I pulled away from Daisuke's questing tongue. I didn't speak immediately needing to catch my breath. "What about…Aoyama?" I asked once my breathing became normal again. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"What about him? He's not here. He's not important, only you and me and what I'm going to do to you."

He leaned forward again and I turned my head so that he ended up kissing my cheek. I don't think it upset him to greatly since I felt him smile into my cheek then began leaving butterfly kisses down to my jaw and further down my neck. You have no idea how hard it was to control myself!

"Dai—"

"Stop trying to find excuses for something you know you want as badly as I do. The true reason you came to see me, the real reason you remembered me after so long." He continued moving downward leaving kisses, sometimes nibbling, other times suckling. It was unbelievable how he knew just what to do to drive into that pleasure-filled thoughtless state with just the right touches at the right places. So talented was he that I lost all the will to fight and succumbed to a desire that had been burning inside me since that night at the club but later I would pay for my weakness, for succumbing to the need, for only achieving in further pushing him away.

Every sin has its price…

TBC

So I finally got it out, the third chapter, after a thousand revisions! And I'm still not entirely happy with it! About the outfits, I wondered if they would be a waste of space. I mean describing them. So I wanted to explain why I did. It was for a few reasons. First I had made a promise that I would attempt to put all the different outfits that I had originally thought up in the first chapter in the rest of the story. And the other reasons can be seen in the story. Basically to torment Taichi! Also I like dressing up Daisuke! ^_~